Crisis of confidence

[legless]

Well, it was all going so well. 5 weeks to go, practical preparation is done, physical preparation is in hand but now I am freaking out about whether or not I can do it. The mental preparation is not going well.

Who am I kidding? I'm a shy, grieving introvert - how the hell am I going to walk into different places every night and meet different people in a different country for 7 weeks? I've travelled alone before, but not since losing my partner and not for so long. With all the COVID restrictions I think I've only spcialised 3 times since his funeral.

I'm trying to learn Spanish and I can understand a good amount but when my work colleague asks me basic questions in Spanish I freeze.

Can anyone provide any soothing words to calm me down?

 

[C clearly]

You are planning to walk from SJPP in March, right? I think you will find that timing and route to be perfect for managing the level of socializing that you might want. One quickly learns that there are ALL types of people on the Camino, and you will almost certainly be a person somewhere in the middle of those types.

It is very very common that pilgrims want to walk alone during the day, and the socializing in the evenings is not very hard to handle. Most people are friendly and may reach out to include you in the group. If you find that you are getting too involved with a group, just say you want to walk on your own for a period, or you can decide to stay in a different albergue or town. Such groups ebb and flow and you should not feel obliged. By the time you reach Santiago, you will have met, left behind, passed, re-encountered and re-left many people. Those contacts are mostly ephemeral, which is liberating in many ways.

Contrary to what you might expect, you can enjoy a lot of privacy and anonymity in walking into a different place every night and meeting different people. They expect very little from you, and you have a freedom to be just you. In March you will get started and can develop your own style of functioning on the Camino, without dealing with hoards of other pilgrims.

On the Camino Frances you need very little Spanish. Everyone will see that you are a pilgrim walking to Santiago, and they will all know what you need, so you don't have to communicate very much.

So, take comfort in knowing that so many (likely most) people set out with similar uncertainties, and most of them settle down by halfway through the first day!

 

[good_old_shoes]

You can do it.

On the Camino you will meet the kindest, most respectful people you can imagine (most of the time ;-) ).

People will leave you alone when you prefer to, and offer help when you need it.

No words needed for that. Some of the best conversations I had on the Camino were in languages I didn't speak, or in the universal language we all speak: A smile. A nod. A finger pointed into the right direction. A glass of water offered by a hospitalero when you arrive at the albergue tired, after a long day walking. A truck driver honking their horn and waving at you while you're walking next to the highway. A slice of fruit offered by another pilgrim. Someone asking 'are you alright?' in any language (you'll understand).

You've been called, and you're already on your way, pilgrim.

Ultreia

 

[Aidan21]

Hi Legless,

With a name like that you could go anywhere and not worry what anyone thinks. Or do you worry what other people think? Do you worry that you will not fit in like everyone else and will look like a phoney? Are you anxious that you are not up to the task of walking the Camino?

I do not know you Legless, but I am willing to bet that mentally and physically you can do it. Don't worry about the Spanish bit. You will be fine with the English along the Frances and your Spanish will just slip in unnoticed and easily. And remember the body you start out with is not the body you arrive in SDC with. Go easy for the first week or 10 days give your body time to adjust and you will be amazed what you can do three or four weeks into your walk.

People are friendly, they will help you and include you and if you wish they will leave you alone.

So to answer your own question; you will walk into all the places along the Camino just like everyone else offer a simple greeting like 'hola' and whomever you speak to will know why you are there and roughly what it is you want. It is that simple.

And remember we do not normally regret the things we do in this life. If we try something and it goes wrong, well we put it down to experience and move on. On the other hand if we deliberately walk away from something and do not try it, that is something that can turn into a regret for a life time.

Go for it Legless. You can do it and the Camino provides for everyone, especially someone like you!!

Aidan

 

[Anthony18]

Well, it was all going so well. 5 weeks to go, practical preparation is done, physical preparation is in hand but now I am freaking out about whether or not I can do it. The mental preparation is not going well.

Who am I kidding? I'm a shy, grieving introvert - how the hell am I going to walk into different places every night and meet different people in a different country for 7 weeks? I've travelled alone before, but not since losing my partner and not for so long. With all the COVID restrictions I think I've only spcialised 3 times since his funeral.

I'm trying to learn Spanish and I can understand a good amount but when my work colleague asks me basic questions in Spanish I freeze.

Can anyone provide any soothing words to calm me down?

Just remember that this is YOUR camino. You can socialize with people or not, and it's ok. Hike as you please because you don't owe anyone anything. If you feel like hiking alone, people will get the hint. If you don't want to be bothered at an albergue, get a private room. When eating in town, eat at the bar or grab food from a supermarket and eat in your room. I'm somewhat shy and hiked while dealing with grief. The camino's religious history, the amazing scenery that I photographed/recorded and my mission to spread my father's ashes kept me focused on reaching SDC. I speak Spanish so that wasn't an issue for me, but most if not all of the restaurant/albergue staff that I came in contact with speak a little English, and I found them to be quite friendly. Also some restaurant menus have pictures, so you can just point at the meal you want. You might find Google Translate to be quite handy. I hope this helps.

 

[Tassie Kaz]

And remember we do not normally regret the things we do in this life. If we try something and it goes wrong, well we put it down to experience and move on. On the other hand if we deliberately walk away from something and do not try it, that is something that can turn into a regret for a life time.

Beautifully put @Aidan21 ...applies to so much we face in life.

 

[Theatregal]

Hi @legless , With your practical / physical preparation done and in hand, you are ready. You will find that the camino is a comfortable place for an introvert. It is very easy to be solitary and feel no awkwardness within that and also very easy to form connections with people if you choose.

Twice I have walked the camino while grieving. It gave me space to think and be with my grief in a way that was completely my own. It was truly a relief to be in an environment that was in no way connected to the responsibilities of my day to day life and to meet and have conversations with people who knew nothing about me. There were times, if I felt simpatico with the person, I did talk about grief, but again, because we knew nothing about each other the conversation was much more open and on a level not clouded by relationship. I found these conversations very comforting and for different reasons, they gave me greater perspective on life and loss.

I wish you well ! Trust in your preparation and the rest will follow.

 

[Zahra]

Hello there. I too am traveling solo for the first time in 18 years. I will be walking CF beginning mid March. I hope to meet you along the way. I am embracing my anxiety and looking at it as a growth opportunity. My college kids are more excited about this than I am. They are my strength. We can be each other’s strength on the route. Come on!!! I look forward to meeting you!

 

[Rick of Rick and Peg]

Can anyone provide any soothing words to calm me down?

Please go. I don't know you but nonetheless I think you will get what you need if not what you want. It won't be painless, either emotionally or physically, but your compostela will be proof that you will endure.

God bless you and buen camino.

 

[Tassie Kaz]

@legless,
I've posted this quote in other threads but it bears another showing. Also complements @Aidan21's response;



You'll be fine, in fact I'm willing to bet after the first few days, you'll wonder what you were ever worried about.
Sempre avanti & best wishes.

 

[OzAnnie]

Please go. I don't know you but nonetheless I think you will get what you need if not what you want. It won't be painless, either emotionally or physically, but your compostela will be proof that you will endure.

God bless you and buen camino.

and @C clearly ‘s words were perfect

The mental preparation is not going well.

Who am I kidding? I'm a shy, grieving introvert - how the hell am I going to walk into different places every night and meet different people in a different country for 7 weeks?

Legless the scariest bit is getting past these ‘mr negative’ thoughts. Don’t let them rob you of enjoying this life changing experience.
You have heard the call and you know you need to put that first foot forward. Next ones are easier. You will be surprised at the person who returns.

Buen camino.

 

[Phil71]

I'm an introvert. I am shy. I am scared of new people. I've done 7 caminos. I come alive in Spain. I had no Spanish for my first few. It wasn't a problem. Just go. Embrace the experience. Be alone if you want to, that's fine. But just be a little bit open to saying hello.. you'll be surprised at how kind and welcoming people can be.

 

[Rick M]

On the south side of the little foot bridge we all walk across on the way out of SJPP, there are two large recycling bins. One is marked FEARS and the other is marked DOUBTS. Put yours in the right bin, and carry on up the hill. These bins can be pretty full some days, since everyone seems to have a pack full of them on their first day. Don't be tempted to hang on to them. You won't need them once you leave town. Fears and Doubts are quite compressible, and if you give them a firm shove, they'll fit in the bins quite nicely.

 

[Icacos]

Can anyone provide any soothing words to calm me down?

“Do one thing everyday that scares you.” Eleanor Roosevelt.

Not sure if those words will calm you down but, hopefully, they will boost your fortitude.

 

[La Brique Jaune]

Hi Legless,

Walk, eat and sleep.and repeat. For some this could sound boring but it's not. This simplicy gives a great opportunity to live Experiences fully and learn from them and not get distracted by modern live. So you train youself, you gear is ready ?. you are ready !

Spaniards who live on the Camino are very kind, they know what a Pilgrim needs, and is a part of their
culture. An example I lived myself: An old talked to us in spanish, he ask me where I was coming from. So you talking french ? he said. He said: I will pray for you for you get what you are searching for, in my own language what are the chances ?. This gived me a boost of energy, you will have your own moments like this one I promise you.

About the language, You know basic worlds and is perfect. you will repeat your phrases many times, people will don't care if you are making mistakes and they will be truly happy to guide you and helping you.

As an intovert myself I had to opportunity to walk more of the time alone, it's really feasible

You can go on the Camino ?..Seize it !, don't forget is only a day at the time.

Ultreïa my friend.

 

[legless]

You are planning to walk from SJPP in March, right? I think you will find that timing and route to be perfect for managing the level of socializing that you might want. One quickly learns that there are ALL types of people on the Camino, and you will almost certainly be a person somewhere in the middle of those types.

It is very very common that pilgrims want to walk alone during the day, and the socializing in the evenings is not very hard to handle. Most people are friendly and may reach out to include you in the group. If you find that you are getting too involved with a group, just say you want to walk on your own for a period, or you can decide to stay in a different albergue or town. Such groups ebb and flow and you should not feel obliged. By the time you reach Santiago, you will have met, left behind, passed, re-encountered and re-left many people. Those contacts are mostly ephemeral, which is liberating in many ways.

Contrary to what you might expect, you can enjoy a lot of privacy and anonymity in walking into a different place every night and meeting different people. They expect very little from you, and you have a freedom to be just you. In March you will get started and can develop your own style of functioning on the Camino, without dealing with hoards of other pilgrims.

On the Camino Frances you need very little Spanish. Everyone will see that you are a pilgrim walking to Santiago, and they will all know what you need, so you don't have to communicate very much.

So, take comfort in knowing that so many (likely most) people set out with similar uncertainties, and most of them settle down by halfway through the first day!

Thank you. That’s reassuring to hear from an experienced pilgrim.

 

[legless]

You can do it.

On the Camino you will meet the kindest, most respectful people you can imagine (most of the time ;-) ).

People will leave you alone when you prefer to, and offer help when you need it.

No words needed for that. Some of the best conversations I had on the Camino were in languages I didn't speak, or in the universal language we all speak: A smile. A nod. A finger pointed into the right direction. A glass of water offered by a hospitalero when you arrive at the albergue tired, after a long day walking. A truck driver honking their horn and waving at you while you're walking next to the highway. A slice of fruit offered by another pilgrim. Someone asking 'are you alright?' in any language (you'll understand).

You've been called, and you're already on your way, pilgrim.

Ultreia

Thank you for your kind reply.

 

[DoughnutANZ]

Can anyone provide any soothing words to calm me down?

The feelings that you have are entirely expected and are very common before a significant event in your life.

I felt those same feelings before my Camino.

Trust in yourself. You have amply demonstrated your ability to deal with life by being here at this moment.

While there is no guarantee that you you will only meet and interact with nice people, I think that you might be surprised at how many nice people there are out there on the Camino, both walking alongside you and amongst the locals who live and work along the Camino.

Learning and speaking Spanish is very respectful and thank you for being considerate enough to make the effort to learn Spanish. You will find, however, that you will do very well with only English.

It is natural that on the virge of a great challenge that you will have reservations. Live with and enjoy these feelings. Trepidation and excitement have the same physiological feelings, the only difference is how you process these feelings in your mind.

It helps to see these feelings as rising excitement.

 

[legless]

Hi Legless,

With a name like that you could go anywhere and not worry what anyone thinks. Or do you worry what other people think? Do you worry that you will not fit in like everyone else and will look like a phoney? Are you anxious that you are not up to the task of walking the Camino?

I do not know you Legless, but I am willing to bet that mentally and physically you can do it. Don't worry about the Spanish bit. You will be fine with the English along the Frances and your Spanish will just slip in unnoticed and easily. And remember the body you start out with is not the body you arrive in SDC with. Go easy for the first week or 10 days give your body time to adjust and you will be amazed what you can do three or four weeks into your walk.

People are friendly, they will help you and include you and if you wish they will leave you alone.

So to answer your own question; you will walk into all the places along the Camino just like everyone else offer a simple greeting like 'hola' and whomever you speak to will know why you are there and roughly what it is you want. It is that simple.

And remember we do not normally regret the things we do in this life. If we try something and it goes wrong, well we put it down to experience and move on. On the other hand if we deliberately walk away from something and do not try it, that is something that can turn into a regret for a life time.

Go for it Legless. You can do it and the Camino provides for everyone, especially someone like you!!

Aidan

Thank you. I’m sure you’re right that it’s be obvious why I’m there! And yes, it would be a huge regret not to do it.

P.S. legless was the nickname given to me by some people I met from a Formula 1 forum many years ago, due to being an early adopter of zip off convertible trousers!

 

[legless]

Just remember that this is YOUR camino. You can socialize with people or not, and it's ok. Hike as you please because you don't owe anyone anything. If you feel like hiking alone, people will get the hint. If you don't want to be bothered at an albergue, get a private room. When eating in town, eat at the bar or grab food from a supermarket and eat in your room. I'm somewhat shy and hiked while dealing with grief. The camino's religious history, the amazing scenery that I photographed/recorded and my mission to spread my father's ashes kept me focused on reaching SDC. I speak Spanish so that wasn't an issue for me, but most if not all of the restaurant/albergue staff that I came in contact with speak a little English, and I found them to be quite friendly. Also some restaurant menus have pictures, so you can just point at the meal you want. You might find Google Translate to be quite handy. I hope this helps.

Thank you, words from experienced pilgrims definitely help.

 

[legless]

Hi @legless , With your practical / physical preparation done and in hand, you are ready. You will find that the camino is a comfortable place for an introvert. It is very easy to be solitary and feel no awkwardness within that and also very easy to form connections with people if you choose.

Twice I have walked the camino while grieving. It gave me space to think and be with my grief in a way that was completely my own. It was truly a relief to be in an environment that was in no way connected to the responsibilities of my day to day life and to meet and have conversations with people who knew nothing about me. There were times, if I felt simpatico with the person, I did talk about grief, but again, because we knew nothing about each other the conversation was much more open and on a level not clouded by relationship. I found these conversations very comforting and for different reasons, they gave me greater perspective on life and loss.

I wish you well ! Trust in your preparation and the rest will follow.

Thank you, and I’m sorry that you suffered loss. Long walks help bring me clarity and I need A LOT of clarity right now hence the really long walk.

The anonymity and people not knowing about me are something I am looking forward to.

See? I’m already saying looking forward to. Thank you for your support.

 

[legless]

Hello there. I too am traveling solo for the first time in 18 years. I will be walking CF beginning mid March. I hope to meet you along the way. I am embracing my anxiety and looking at it as a growth opportunity. My college kids are more excited about this than I am. They are my strength. We can be each other’s strength on the route. Come on!!! I look forward to meeting you!

Here’s hoping our paths cross!

 

[legless]

Please go. I don't know you but nonetheless I think you will get what you need if not what you want. It won't be painless, either emotionally or physically, but your compostela will be proof that you will endure.

God bless you and buen camino.

Thank you for your kind reply. It really helps.

 

[legless]

@legless,
I've posted this quote in other threads but it bears another showing. Also complements @Aidan21's response;

View attachment 118409

You'll be fine, in fact I'm willing to bet after the first few days, you'll wonder what you were ever worried about.
Sempre avanti & best wishes.

Thank you, that’s a very good quote.

 

[legless]

and @C clearly ‘s words were perfect


Legless the scariest bit is getting past these ‘mr negative’ thoughts. Don’t let them rob you of enjoying this life changing experience.
You have heard the call and you know you need to put that first foot forward. Next ones are easier. You will be surprised at the person who returns.

Buen camino.

Thank you, all of these replies are helping with the negative thoughts.

 

[legless]

I'm an introvert. I am shy. I am scared of new people. I've done 7 caminos. I come alive in Spain. I had no Spanish for my first few. It wasn't a problem. Just go. Embrace the experience. Be alone if you want to, that's fine. But just be a little bit open to saying hello.. you'll be surprised at how kind and welcoming people can be.

I will remember the phrase “be a little open to saying hello” often I think, thank you for it.

 

[legless]

On the south side of the little foot bridge we all walk across on the way out of SJPP, there are two large recycling bins. One is marked FEARS and the other is marked DOUBTS. Put yours in the right bin, and carry on up the hill. These bins can be pretty full some days, since everyone seems to have a pack full of them on their first day. Don't be tempted to hang on to them. You won't need them once you leave town. Fears and Doubts are quite compressible, and if you give them a firm shove, they'll fit in the bins quite nicely.

Thank you, as I return to squashing the cardboard in this night shift filling supermarket shelves my thoughts will be squashing fears and doubts!

 

[legless]

“Do one thing everyday that scares you.” Eleanor Roosevelt.

Not sure if those words will calm you down but, hopefully, they will boost your fortitude.

Thank you!

 

[legless]

Hi Legless,

Walk, eat and sleep.and repeat. For some this could sound boring but it's not. This simplicy gives a great opportunity to live Experiences fully and learn from them and not get distracted by modern live. So you train youself, you gear is ready ?. you are ready !

Spaniards who live on the Camino are very kind, they know what a Pilgrim needs, and is a part of their
culture. An example I lived myself: An old talked to us in spanish, he ask me where I was coming from. So you talking french ? he said. He said: I will pray for you for you get what you are searching for, in my own language what are the chances ?. This gived me a boost of energy, you will have your own moments like this one I promise you.

About the language, You know basic worlds and is perfect. you will repeat your phrases many times, people will don't care if you are making mistakes and they will be truly happy to guide you and helping you.

As an intovert myself I had to opportunity to walk more of the time alone, it's really feasible

You can go on the Camino ?..Seize it !, don't forget is only a day at the time.

Ultreïa my friend.

Thank you. I’m sure you’re right about the language. I’m just an insecure Brit not wanting to be the English only stereotype!

 

[Former member 99290]

You are planning to walk from SJPP in March, right? I think you will find that timing and route to be perfect for managing the level of socializing that you might want. One quickly learns that there are ALL types of people on the Camino, and you will almost certainly be a person somewhere in the middle of those types.

It is very very common that pilgrims want to walk alone during the day, and the socializing in the evenings is not very hard to handle. Most people are friendly and may reach out to include you in the group. If you find that you are getting too involved with a group, just say you want to walk on your own for a period, or you can decide to stay in a different albergue or town. Such groups ebb and flow and you should not feel obliged. By the time you reach Santiago, you will have met, left behind, passed, re-encountered and re-left many people. Those contacts are mostly ephemeral, which is liberating in many ways.

Contrary to what you might expect, you can enjoy a lot of privacy and anonymity in walking into a different place every night and meeting different people. They expect very little from you, and you have a freedom to be just you. In March you will get started and can develop your own style of functioning on the Camino, without dealing with hoards of other pilgrims.

On the Camino Frances you need very little Spanish. Everyone will see that you are a pilgrim walking to Santiago, and they will all know what you need, so you don't have to communicate very much.

So, take comfort in knowing that so many (likely most) people set out with similar uncertainties, and most of them settle down by halfway through the first day!

I join in saying - a perfect response from @C clearly Take heart @legless from this and the other encouraging and reassuring words. And one from one introvert to another - after many caminos, and with my first a solo walk from SJPP to Finisterre in 2011 - I kinda envy you setting out for the very first time on this wonderful path of discovery.

 

[JabbaPapa]

Many of us have gone through the same, either before a first Camino or during the first days of it.

It'll pass.

 

[Eve Alexandra]

Thanks for asking for encouragement. It will be my second camino, near the same time you are going, if I can get over my fears and just push purchase on the dang flight ticket. I was scared the first time I did it, also introverted, also in March. It was great. But the post pandemic thing has me just second guessing everything. Anxiety all over the place. I'm a hot mess right now. :/ Very hard to shake. You're not alone in being afraid. But also, the responses you got are really encouraging. <3

 

[VNwalking]

@legless, there's no need to 'fix' that anxiety. Except hold the experience kindly, and don't magnify the discomfort by worrying or thinking too much about either the angst, or why it's arising in the first place.

Pre-walk jitters are a nearly universal experience, but the good news is that they dissolve by themselves the moment you start putting one foot in front of the other.

When under stress, some of us are 'fighters,' others are 'flee-ers,' and then there are the 'freezers.' So if you habitually freeze like a deer in the headlights, just know that's just a habit - and don't give it any more power than it already has.
Take one small step at a time, and you will get there. Triumphant.

 

[Former member 59618]

I totally understand your dilemma. During my first camino I arrived excited, nervous, but definitely grieving, exhausted, irritable and I didn't connect well to others. Though I was relieved to be away from my home country and a little thrilled at what lay ahead, I struggled with feeling that I had to be jolly and ecstatic (because everyone else seemed to be) when the truth was I just couldn't handle "peopling". I didn't understand, nor did I realize, the full extent of how raw, dark and stormy I felt, and that I didn't relish showing strangers my insides.

I will never forget sitting in front of Orrison auberge, away from the (dreadfully) cheerful crowd of pilgrims drinking beer on the deck. I watched horses and cows slowly working their way across hillside, peacefully grazing. I must have sat for 3 hours, by myself, gazing out over the Basque countryside thinking hell at least I got myself here.

So just get yourself there. Don't put any pressure on yourself. Expect the normal highs and lows, and be extra gentle as you're grieving. Take your time and let yourself be carried by others' kindnesses and the camino angels (human and otherwise)

You got this!

 

[legless]

The feelings that you have are entirely expected and are very common before a significant event in your life.

I felt those same feelings before my Camino.

Trust in yourself. You have amply demonstrated your ability to deal with life by being here at this moment.

While there is no guarantee that you you will only meet and interact with nice people, I think that you might be surprised at how many nice people there are out there on the Camino, both walking alongside you and amongst the locals who live and work along the Camino.

Learning and speaking Spanish is very respectful and thank you for being considerate enough to make the effort to learn Spanish. You will find, however, that you will do very well with only English.

It is natural that on the virge of a great challenge that you will have reservations. Live with and enjoy these feelings. Trepidation and excitement have the same physiological feelings, the only difference is how you process these feelings in your mind.

It helps to see these feelings as rising excitement.

Thank you so much for your reply. I do need to trust in myself, you are right.

 

[legless]

I join in saying - a perfect response from @C clearly Take heart @legless from this and the other encouraging and reassuring words. And one from one introvert to another - after many caminos, and with my first a solo walk from SJPP to Finisterre in 2011 - I kinda envy you setting out for the very first time on this wonderful path of discovery.

Thank you so much for replying, all this reassurance is really helping. I have wanted to do this for 20 years but life has always got in the way, now I have the opportunity I should be thankful and embrace it.

 

[legless]

Many of us have gone through the same, either before a first Camino or during the first days of it.

It'll pass.

Thank you

 

[legless]

Thanks for asking for encouragement. It will be my second camino, near the same time you are going, if I can get over my fears and just push purchase on the dang flight ticket. I was scared the first time I did it, also introverted, also in March. It was great. But the post pandemic thing has me just second guessing everything. Anxiety all over the place. I'm a hot mess right now. :/ Very hard to shake. You're not alone in being afraid. But also, the responses you got are really encouraging. <3

Well if you're going for a second camino it must be worth it! The pandemic doesn't help, the constant changes in restrictions mean it's hard to feel ready. We'll get there though, everyone has been so encouraging, thank you.

 

[legless]

@legless, there's no need to 'fix' that anxiety. Except hold the experience kindly, and don't magnify the discomfort by worrying or thinking too much about either the angst, or why it's arising in the first place.

Pre-walk jitters are a nearly universal experience, but the good news is that they dissolve by themselves the moment you start putting one foot in front of the other.

When under stress, some of us are 'fighters,' others are 'flee-ers,' and then there are the 'freezers.' So if you habitually freeze like a deer in the headlights, just know that's just a habit - and don't give it any more power than it already has.
Take one small step at a time, and you will get there. Triumphant.

Thank you so much for being so supportive. I think a lot of the Camino will be about learning to understand myself, I'm so different now.

 

[legless]

I totally understand your dilemma. During my first camino I arrived excited, nervous, but definitely grieving, exhausted, irritable and I didn't connect well to others. Though I was relieved to be away from my home country and a little thrilled at what lay ahead, I struggled with feeling like I had to be jolly and ecstatic (because everyone else seemed to be) when the truth was I just couldn't handle "peopling". I didn't understand, nor did I realize, the full extent of how raw, dark and stormy I felt, and that I didn't relish showing strangers my insides.

I will never forget sitting in front of Orrison auberge, away from the (dreadfully) cheerful crowd of pilgrims drinking beer on the deck. I watched horses and cows slowly working their way across hillside, peacefully grazing. I must have sat for 3 hours, by myself, gazing out over the Basque countryside thinking hell at least I got myself here.

So just get yourself there. Don't put any pressure on yourself. Expect the normal highs and lows, and be extra gentle as you're grieving. Take your time and let yourself be carried by others' kindnesses and the camino angels (human and otherwise)

You got this!

Thank you, this resonates a lot. Thank you for sharing your experience, it does make it feel less daunting.

 

[Stivandrer]

I get the feeling that the loss of your partner makes you hesitatet to go down the new way: ´Is this the tipping point of having too much of a burden to make me not succeed´?
The `can I do it` is overpowered by the `it is too much´
You have taken a huge toll in the confidence of controlling your daily routine, you literally have shaking knees...
If it is the actual strain of starting out, take the start from Pamplona, rather than SJPdP, and be in the safety of regular transportation, the first three days are the toughest....

As for introvert, you have answered all entries with an open heart !
-take courage, you will be rewarded

Solvitur Ambulando - It is Resolved by Walking

 

[William Garza]

Well, it was all going so well. 5 weeks to go, practical preparation is done, physical preparation is in hand but now I am freaking out about whether or not I can do it. The mental preparation is not going well.

Who am I kidding? I'm a shy, grieving introvert - how the hell am I going to walk into different places every night and meet different people in a different country for 7 weeks? I've travelled alone before, but not since losing my partner and not for so long. With all the COVID restrictions I think I've only spcialised 3 times since his funeral.

I'm trying to learn Spanish and I can understand a good amount but when my work colleague asks me basic questions in Spanish I freeze.

Can anyone provide any soothing words to calm me down?

The best part of introverts is knowing when your ready to open up, and when you need the space.
We ...I tend to open up spontainiously when the right feeling person comes along, and clam up when it doesnt feel right.
You will be yourself and be fine...
The right people at the right time and place will appear

 

[JTCamino]

You are planning to walk from SJPP in March, right? I think you will find that timing and route to be perfect for managing the level of socializing that you might want. One quickly learns that there are ALL types of people on the Camino, and you will almost certainly be a person somewhere in the middle of those types.

It is very very common that pilgrims want to walk alone during the day, and the socializing in the evenings is not very hard to handle. Most people are friendly and may reach out to include you in the group. If you find that you are getting too involved with a group, just say you want to walk on your own for a period, or you can decide to stay in a different albergue or town. Such groups ebb and flow and you should not feel obliged. By the time you reach Santiago, you will have met, left behind, passed, re-encountered and re-left many people. Those contacts are mostly ephemeral, which is liberating in many ways.

Contrary to what you might expect, you can enjoy a lot of privacy and anonymity in walking into a different place every night and meeting different people. They expect very little from you, and you have a freedom to be just you. In March you will get started and can develop your own style of functioning on the Camino, without dealing with hoards of other pilgrims.

On the Camino Frances you need very little Spanish. Everyone will see that you are a pilgrim walking to Santiago, and they will all know what you need, so you don't have to communicate very much.

So, take comfort in knowing that so many (likely most) people set out with similar uncertainties, and most of them settle down by halfway through the first day!

Wonderful reply! I’d feel better if I were the author/poster!

 

[cbacino]

Well, it was all going so well. 5 weeks to go, practical preparation is done, physical preparation is in hand but now I am freaking out about whether or not I can do it. The mental preparation is not going well.

Who am I kidding? I'm a shy, grieving introvert - how the hell am I going to walk into different places every night and meet different people in a different country for 7 weeks? I've travelled alone before, but not since losing my partner and not for so long. With all the COVID restrictions I think I've only spcialised 3 times since his funeral.

I'm trying to learn Spanish and I can understand a good amount but when my work colleague asks me basic questions in Spanish I freeze.

Can anyone provide any soothing words to calm me down?

You sound a bit like me except I haven’t lost a partner. Sorry. I’m not an extrovert - enjoy my solitude. My Spanish is elementary. I have doubts going into every walk, going on 5,000 miles now, but it always comes out in the wash. Enjoy.

 

[tomas2019]

Well, it was all going so well. 5 weeks to go, practical preparation is done, physical preparation is in hand but now I am freaking out about whether or not I can do it. The mental preparation is not going well.

Who am I kidding? I'm a shy, grieving introvert - how the hell am I going to walk into different places every night and meet different people in a different country for 7 weeks? I've travelled alone before, but not since losing my partner and not for so long. With all the COVID restrictions I think I've only spcialised 3 times since his funeral.

I'm trying to learn Spanish and I can understand a good amount but when my work colleague asks me basic questions in Spanish I freeze.

Can anyone provide any soothing words to calm me down?

You are receiving great words of encouragement from the Camino Community. I, as a gregarious extrovert, have met many pilgrims who prefer to be left out (for any number of reasons) of the "prattle of peregrination." .....perhaps they're introverts......or spiritual (and want to pray).... or they are imbued in self-reflection. Whatever the reason, I found that peregrinas/os are quite respectful of the needs of fellow trekkers.

All sorts of anxieties crop up as the time to embark on our journey approaches. These feelings are quite normal !!! But some of life's most memorable experiences occur when we confront our fears/ doubts / challenges. My advice, for what its worth, is to go walk the Camino in the way that makes you feel most comfortable. You'll have a wonderful time.

But please promise to return to this forum when you return and tell us just how amazing and revealing this adventure turned out to be.

Buen Camino !!!!

 

[Scott Sweeney]

Well, it was all going so well. 5 weeks to go, practical preparation is done, physical preparation is in hand but now I am freaking out about whether or not I can do it. The mental preparation is not going well.

Who am I kidding? I'm a shy, grieving introvert - how the hell am I going to walk into different places every night and meet different people in a different country for 7 weeks? I've travelled alone before, but not since losing my partner and not for so long. With all the COVID restrictions I think I've only spcialised 3 times since his funeral.

I'm trying to learn Spanish and I can understand a good amount but when my work colleague asks me basic questions in Spanish I freeze.

Can anyone provide any soothing words to calm me down?

You can do this, go! Don't beat yourself up with it. Think of it as another one of life's journeys.

Buen Camino.

 

[Barry Coltham]

Hi legless
As many have said in reply to your question - you are already on the journey and you are already in the right mindset. On any journey in life - be it overlanding in Africa, working or on the camino - it just needs some honest self talk. The important thing is you have felt this calling - now your next step is start the journey - it starts with packing - what to take - once you have decided what to take - work how to take about a third less - don’t carry too much
The journey then will include saying goodbye, then the commute, then the night before, then the start - take it easy - start each day early - rest along the way -maybe every 5 km - when resting take off your shoes & socks - let your feet cool down.
Greet people, take courage from others when they wish you “Buen Camino” - they mean it - if you asked how you are - give an honest answer - if you are lost or need any help - first say to yourself - “ now I need some help” - often the help will arrive in a most surprising way - keep moving in and if you are injured in any way - stop and recover - as has been said before - this is your Camino- it is not a competition
Think that with every step you are caressing Gaia - Mother Earth - and she in turn will caress you back
There will be difficulties along the way - embrace them - you will find a different way to walk a different way to be a different world
Blessings and best wishes
Buen Camino

 

[VNwalking]

I have wanted to do this for 20 years but life has always got in the way, now I have the opportunity I should be thankful and embrace it.

Should is doing a lot of work in that sentence!

If you feel freaked out rather than grateful, oh well. So long as the freaked out-ness isn't driving the train, you'll be fine, and the gratitude will eventually come out of the shadows.
So trust yourself, and that strong intention.

You may have more rocky moments between now and when you finally leave - and perhaps even enroute - but in the very going, you will absolutely know that the anxiety is a passenger, rather than the driver.

Buen camino!

Edit: And I second what Tomas just said! Please let us know how it went for you - amazing or not, revealing or not. Your query has touched our collective hearts and we'll be quietly cheering you on, in the background.

 

[MichelleElynHogan]

From one introvert to another, once you figure out what you are hiding from, it will be over and life will go on with or without you. I discovered it was only a choice...with a huge win.

Una cama, por favor. Chant it to yourself for the last km before reaching the albergue.
Agua / cafe con leche / te / vino, por favor. Start saying it to yourself when you start getting thirsty.
Donde es Roncesvalles / Logrońo / Burgos / Léon / Santiago de Compostela? If you get lost.
Donde es el autobus / taxi / tren / aeropuerto? If you need.
Comida, por favor.

These phrases are enough to handle all the usual daily needs. Do you know them already?

 

[davebugg]

Hello, Legless I am an introvert who has had no real issues as a pilgrim because of being introverted.

The good news is, you are in a forum with a wonderful group of people. Most are here to help people achieve their pilgrimage goals. We will offer you encouragement, knowledge, and, if asked, try and point you in the direction that will help you help yourself.

My suggestion to start is this:

1. Take a deep breath. Write down in large letters the reasons why you want to go on Camino. Place that piece of paper where you can see it every day. That way, if anxieties and fears threaten to overwhelm you as you plan, you can just breath, read what you have written, and focus on those reasons until the negative stuff fades..
2. Remember that perfect timing as it relates to how you feel, scheduling, and day to day life issues, seldom align themselves perfectly. If one waits for such to occur, doing something like a pilgrimage will always be in danger of taking a back seat while you wait for that perfect alignment to happen.
3. You are not doing the entire pilgrimage at once, you are doing it one step at a time. Focus on each individual step, not the whole journey.

 

[WalkingLester]

You have received so many wonderful encouraging replies already. I would like to add my basic strategy for making friends and meeting people. I smile, wave, and say “buen camino” to every single person I pass by while walking. I do it so much it sometimes feels kind of excessive. But that person you acknowledge and greet in the morning will often be the person you wind up having coffee or dinner with later that day, or even several days later.

 

[Pilgrim1960]

Well, it was all going so well. 5 weeks to go, practical preparation is done, physical preparation is in hand but now I am freaking out about whether or not I can do it. The mental preparation is not going well.

Who am I kidding? I'm a shy, grieving introvert - how the hell am I going to walk into different places every night and meet different people in a different country for 7 weeks? I've travelled alone before, but not since losing my partner and not for so long. With all the COVID restrictions I think I've only spcialised 3 times since his funeral.

I'm trying to learn Spanish and I can understand a good amount but when my work colleague asks me basic questions in Spanish I freeze.

Can anyone provide any soothing words to calm me down?

Legless,
Life is hard- very very hard. You have a choice to stay where you are or go forward. It will take courage and hope and maybe a little faith. Life is very challenging but the challenges on the Camino are altogether good for you. Remember it is only freaks like you that end up doing the Camino....you will be well surrounded. You will have your Camino family evolve as you travel and you will develop friendships with people you never dreamed you would have a friendship. I developed a friendship with a man from Brazil and we could hardly exchange a few common words. The Camino provides and that is the faith part. Everything you need will be met and you will return home a different person. Solitude will have you reflect on your loss and you will meet your past as you walk alone. The past will almost seem visible like statues along the road. You will start unpacking your past and will gain clarity on those you loved and lost. It is a pilgrimage and not a long walk. Pilgrimages are so important because we need them at different times in our lives. Why do you think over 300,000 people in 2019 went on Camino? Your soul will be refreshed and your worries will go away. You will learn to navigate new waters. Bring your stone with you to symbolize your life now and once you have done your homework, you will calmly leave that stone at Cruz de ferro. Get on the plane because you cannot see anything else but once you have made that step, you will learn why some time ago the Camino became important to you.

 

[Robi Diaz De Vivar]

Well, it was all going so well. 5 weeks to go, practical preparation is done, physical preparation is in hand but now I am freaking out about whether or not I can do it. The mental preparation is not going well.

Who am I kidding? I'm a shy, grieving introvert - how the hell am I going to walk into different places every night and meet different people in a different country for 7 weeks? I've travelled alone before, but not since losing my partner and not for so long. With all the COVID restrictions I think I've only spcialised 3 times since his funeral.

I'm trying to learn Spanish and I can understand a good amount but when my work colleague asks me basic questions in Spanish I freeze.

Can anyone provide any soothing words to calm me down?

Right OK time to take a step back. Relax. The first thing that you need to know is that almost everyone that you are going to meet is in the same place vis a vis meeting people. Walking on the Camino is like becoming a lightning rod for emotions. You will meet a lot of people going through the same torment as yourself. I did my first Camino with a friend that I had known for a very long time but he transformed himself on the Camino into this open, interesting guy who talked to anyone.....it was amazing. Go. Put yourself out there - you will be astonished about what happens. Buen Camino.

 

[Bob91]

Well, it was all going so well. 5 weeks to go, practical preparation is done, physical preparation is in hand but now I am freaking out about whether or not I can do it. The mental preparation is not going well.

Who am I kidding? I'm a shy, grieving introvert - how the hell am I going to walk into different places every night and meet different people in a different country for 7 weeks? I've travelled alone before, but not since losing my partner and not for so long. With all the COVID restrictions I think I've only spcialised 3 times since his funeral.

I'm trying to learn Spanish and I can understand a good amount but when my work colleague asks me basic questions in Spanish I freeze.

Can anyone provide any soothing words to calm me down?

Legless:
I totally understand and feel for you. I had been talking about the Camino for over a year, when my wife suddenly gave her blessing last September. I could go but had to go soon. I rushed to gather my gear and spoke with a travel agent who we have used for international travel in the past. As the date in mid-October approached, my anxiety level rose. I needed arrangements in France: a place to stay near the airport in Biarritz and tickets for the train to SJPP. I looked for options and completely froze. My anxiety became so great, I couldn't move. I couldn't do it. I imagined all the things that could go wrong and feared returning home after failing in just a few days – dragging my tail between my legs and suffering embarrassment for the rest of my life. I was paralyzed with fear. I was underprepared and my pack weighed 15% of my body weight – 50% more than what some people recommend. Failure was inevitable. I was so anxious and worried, I stopped eating. I lost four pounds before even starting.

My travel agent saved me by making the French arrangements for me. I left despite my fears, and everything actually worked out well. At the end of my third day on the Frances, I joined a Camino family in Zubiri. Some of us stayed together all the way to Santiago and beyond. What I'm trying to say is that anxiety is normal, but it will slowly leave you as you get into a routine, realize you can do more than you think, and meet wonderful people who share your dreams. The Frances has all the infrastructure you will need. Some of the albergues you select may prove to be a disappointment but others will astound you. No matter what, take pictures of everything. Write lots of notes (I wish I had). And pat yourself on the back every single day for what you are accomplishing. I don't know your age, but I was 69 last fall and walked with a problematic Achilles tendon which required physical therapy and will never completely go away. Take your time. Don't rush. Enjoy the atmosphere. Drink plenty of coffee (my favorite drug). And place one foot in front of the other. I know it's a cliché, but it's true. You can do it. There's no time limit. Regarding equipment, there's nothing wrong with replacing some along the way. (My 40 year old raincoat had several seams come unglued. I used all my duct tape repairing it, but needed to buy a new raincoat in Burgos after more seams gave out.) It's all part of the adventure. Your Camino will likely become the greatest adventure of your life. I can't wait to go again!

Buen Camino, ultreia, and suseia,
Bob91

 

[maryloufrommadison]

I recently came across this quote from Rilke. As a fellow widow/introvert/Spanish-failure/about-to-be-first-timer, I am writing this on the first page of my Camino diary:

"Let everything happen to you:
beauty and terror.
Just keep going.
No feeling is final."

Buen Camino!

 

[jsalt]

but now I am freaking out about whether or not I can do it

On the camino it is literally . . .

one step at a time

that is all you need to think about.

 

[legless]

I get the feeling that the loss of your partner makes you hesitatet to go down the new way: ´Is this the tipping point of having too much of a burden to make me not succeed´?
The `can I do it` is overpowered by the `it is too much´
You have taken a huge toll in the confidence of controlling your daily routine, you literally have shaking knees...
If it is the actual strain of starting out, take the start from Pamplona, rather than SJPdP, and be in the safety of regular transportation, the first three days are the toughest....

As for introvert, you have answered all entries with an open heart !
-take courage, you will be rewarded

Solvitur Ambulando - It is Resolved by Walking

Thank you, yes I have taken a huge knock in confidence but thinking about it, I have survived every day..

Solvitur Ambulando is very much my mantra.

 

[legless]

The best part of introverts is knowing when your ready to open up, and when you need the space.
We ...I tend to open up spontainiously when the right feeling person comes along, and clam up when it doesnt feel right.
You will be yourself and be fine...
The right people at the right time and place will appear

Thank you.

 

[legless]

Wonderful reply! I’d feel better if I were the author/poster!

It has certainly helped a lot

 

[legless]

You sound a bit like me except I haven’t lost a partner. Sorry. I’m not an extrovert - enjoy my solitude. My Spanish is elementary. I have doubts going into every walk, going on 5,000 miles now, but it always comes out in the wash. Enjoy.

Thank you for the reassurance

 

[legless]

You are receiving great words of encouragement from the Camino Community. I, as a gregarious extrovert, have met many pilgrims who prefer to be left out (for any number of reasons) of the "prattle of peregrination." .....perhaps they're introverts......or spiritual (and want to pray).... or they are imbued in self-reflection. Whatever the reason, I found that peregrinas/os are quite respectful of the needs of fellow trekkers.

All sorts of anxieties crop up as the time to embark on our journey approaches. These feelings are quite normal !!! But some of life's most memorable experiences occur when we confront our fears/ doubts / challenges. My advice, for what its worth, is to go walk the Camino in the way that makes you feel most comfortable. You'll have a wonderful time.

But please promise to return to this forum when you return and tell us just how amazing and revealing this adventure turned out to be.

Buen Camino !!!!

Thank you for your kind words, I am really grateful to everyone taking the time out to reply to me. I will definitely return, I want t be one f these reassuring voices for others.

 

[legless]

You can do this, go! Don't beat yourself up with it. Think of it as another one of life's journeys.

Burn Camino.

Thank you

 

[legless]

Hi legless
As many have said in reply to your question - you are already on the journey and you are already in the right mindset. On any journey in life - be it overlanding in Africa, working or on the camino - it just needs some honest self talk. The important thing is you have felt this calling - now your next step is start the journey - it starts with packing - what to take - once you have decided what to take - work how to take about a third less - don’t carry too much
The journey then will include saying goodbye, then the commute, then the night before, then the start - take it easy - start each day early - rest along the way -maybe every 5 km - when resting take off your shoes & socks - let your feet cool down.
Greet people, take courage from others when they wish you “Buen Camino” - they mean it - if you asked how you are - give an honest answer - if you are lost or need any help - first say to yourself - “ now I need some help” - often the help will arrive in a most surprising way - keep moving in and if you are injured in any way - stop and recover - as has been said before - this is your Camino- it is not a competition
Think that with every step you are caressing Gaia - Mother Earth - and she in turn will caress you back
There will be difficulties along the way - embrace them - you will find a different way to walk a different way to be a different world
Blessings and best wishes
Buen Camino

Thank you for this beautiful reply

 

[legless]

Should is doing a lot of work in that sentence!

If you feel freaked out rather than grateful, oh well. So long as the freaked out-ness isn't driving the train, you'll be fine, and the gratitude will eventually come out of the shadows.
So trust yourself, and that strong intention.

You may have more rocky moments between now and when you finally leave - and perhaps even enroute - but in the very going, you will absolutely know that the anxiety is a passenger, rather than the driver.

Buen camino!

Edit: And I second what Tomas just said! Please let us know how it went for you - amazing or not, revealing or not. Your query has touched our collective hearts and we'll be quietly cheering you on, in the background.

Thank you, I really am so grateful for your reply and all of these kind words that I've received. I'll definitely let you know how it went, I want to be one of these reassuring voices for others in the future.

 

[legless]

From one introvert to another, once you figure out what you are hiding from, it will be over and life will go on with or without you. I discovered it was only a choice...with a huge win.

Una cama, por favor. Chant it to yourself for the last km before reaching the albergue.
Agua / cafe con leche / te / vino, por favor. Start saying it to yourself when you start getting thirsty.
Donde es Roncesvalles / Logrońo / Burgos / Léon / Santiago de Compostela? If you get lost.
Donde es el autobus / taxi / tren / aeropuerto? If you need.
Comida, por favor.

These phrases are enough to handle all the usual daily needs. Do you know them already?

Thank you! and those phrases are really helpful.

 

[legless]

Hello, Legless I am an introvert who has had no real issues as a pilgrim because of being introverted.

The good news is, you are in a forum with a wonderful group of people. Most are here to help people achieve their pilgrimage goals. We will offer you encouragement, knowledge, and, if asked, try and point you in the direction that will help you help yourself.

My suggestion to start is this:

1. Take a deep breath. Write down in large letters the reasons why you want to go on Camino. Place that piece of paper where you can see it every day. That way, if anxieties and fears threaten to overwhelm you as you plan, you can just breath, read what you have written, and focus on those reasons until the negative stuff fades..
2. Remember that perfect timing as it relates to how you feel, scheduling, and day to day life issues, seldom align themselves perfectly. If one waits for such to occur, doing something like a pilgrimage will always be in danger of taking a back seat while you wait for that perfect alignment to happen.
3. You are not doing the entire pilgrimage at once, you are doing it one step at a time. Focus on each individual step, not the whole journey.

Thank you so much. Ah yes you're the "undiagnosed" introvert ;-)

This makes so much sense, I've used the technique of writing things down before, I think i'm just in a "can't see the woods for the trees" moment, that's a great idea. And of course you're right, one step at a time, that s much more achieveble.

 

[legless]

You have received so many wonderful encouraging replies already. I would like to add my basic strategy for making friends and meeting people. I smile, wave, and say “buen camino” to every single person I pass by while walking. I do it so much it sometimes feels kind of excessive. But that person you acknowledge and greet in the morning will often be the person you wind up having coffee or dinner with later that day, or even several days later.

Thank you. I shall do this.

 

[legless]

Legless,
Life is hard- very very hard. You have a choice to stay where you are or go forward. It will take courage and hope and maybe a little faith. Life is very challenging but the challenges on the Camino are altogether good for you. Remember it is only freaks like you that end up doing the Camino....you will be well surrounded. You will have your Camino family evolve as you travel and you will develop friendships with people you never dreamed you would have a friendship. I developed a friendship with a man from Brazil and we could hardly exchange a few common words. The Camino provides and that is the faith part. Everything you need will be met and you will return home a different person. Solitude will have you reflect on your loss and you will meet your past as you walk alone. The past will almost seem visible like statues along the road. You will start unpacking your past and will gain clarity on those you loved and lost. It is a pilgrimage and not a long walk. Pilgrimages are so important because we need them at different times in our lives. Why do you think over 300,000 people in 2019 went on Camino? Your soul will be refreshed and your worries will go away. You will learn to navigate new waters. Bring your stone with you to symbolize your life now and once you have done your homework, you will calmly leave that stone at Cruz de ferro. Get on the plane because you cannot see anything else but once you have made that step, you will learn why some time ago the Camino became important to you.

Thank you for this thoughtful reply. Actually, being amongst fellow freaks does appeal! That's really helpful about Cruz de ferro, I couldn't think of anything I wanted to leave behind but my life now, and then moving forward could very well be it.

 

[legless]

Right OK time to take a step back. Relax. The first thing that you need to know is that almost everyone that you are going to meet is in the same place vis a vis meeting people. Walking on the Camino is like becoming a lightning rod for emotions. You will meet a lot of people going through the same torment as yourself. I did my first Camino with a friend that I had known for a very long time but he transformed himself on the Camino into this open, interesting guy who talked to anyone.....it was amazing. Go. Put yourself out there - you will be astonished about what happens. Buen Camino.

Thank you so much, it is very reassuring to hear this from an experienced pilgrim.

 

[legless]

Legless:
I totally understand and feel for you. I had been talking about the Camino for over a year, when my wife suddenly gave her blessing last September. I could go but had to go soon. I rushed to gather my gear and spoke with a travel agent who we have used for international travel in the past. As the date in mid-October approached, my anxiety level rose. I needed arrangements in France: a place to stay near the airport in Biarritz and tickets for the train to SJPP. I looked for options and completely froze. My anxiety became so great, I couldn't move. I couldn't do it. I imagined all the things that could go wrong and feared returning home after failing in just a few days – dragging my tail between my legs and suffering embarrassment for the rest of my life. I was paralyzed with fear. I was underprepared and my pack weighed 15% of my body weight – 50% more than what some people recommend. Failure was inevitable. I was so anxious and worried, I stopped eating. I lost four pounds before even starting.

My travel agent saved me by making the French arrangements for me. I left despite my fears, and everything actually worked out well. At the end of my third day on the Frances, I joined a Camino family in Zubiri. Some of us stayed together all the way to Santiago and beyond. What I'm trying to say is that anxiety is normal, but it will slowly leave you as you get into a routine, realize you can do more than you think, and meet wonderful people who share your dreams. The Frances has all the infrastructure you will need. Some of the albergues you select may prove to be a disappointment but others will astound you. No matter what, take pictures of everything. Write lots of notes (I wish I had). And pat yourself on the back every single day for what you are accomplishing. I don't know your age, but I was 69 last fall and walked with a problematic Achilles tendon which required physical therapy and will never completely go away. Take your time. Don't rush. Enjoy the atmosphere. Drink plenty of coffee (my favorite drug). And place one foot in front of the other. I know it's a cliché, but it's true. You can do it. There's no time limit. Regarding equipment, there's nothing wrong with replacing some along the way. (My 40 year old raincoat had several seams come unglued. I used all my duct tape repairing it, but needed to buy a new raincoat in Burgos after more seams gave out.) It's all part of the adventure. Your Camino will likely become the greatest adventure of your life. I can't wait to go again!

Buen Camino, ultreia, and suseia,
Bob91

Thank you or sharing your story. It is reassuring to know that a lot of my feelings are pretty normal! I've given myself plenty of time I hope, I don't want to rush. I think I'm going to be OK.

 

[legless]

I recently came across this quote from Rilke. As a fellow widow/introvert/Spanish-failure/about-to-be-first-timer, I am writing this on the first page of my Camino diary:

"Let everything happen to you:
beauty and terror.
Just keep going.
No feeling is final."

Buen Camino!

That's a beautiful quote, thank you. I'm sorry for your loss. Buen Camino.

 

[legless]

On the camino it is literally . . .

one step at a time

that is all you need to think about.

It feels a lot better thinking about it like that, thank you.

 

[Walkingboy]

Well, it was all going so well. 5 weeks to go, practical preparation is done, physical preparation is in hand but now I am freaking out about whether or not I can do it. The mental preparation is not going well.

Who am I kidding? I'm a shy, grieving introvert - how the hell am I going to walk into different places every night and meet different people in a different country for 7 weeks? I've travelled alone before, but not since losing my partner and not for so long. With all the COVID restrictions I think I've only spcialised 3 times since his funeral.

I'm trying to learn Spanish and I can understand a good amount but when my work colleague asks me basic questions in Spanish I freeze.

Can anyone provide any soothing words to calm me down?

Believe you can do it, don't doubt you can.

 

[woody66]

Hi Legless!
You will have the best time;maybe sore feet but still the best time ever!
I had so so many fears and doubts about undertaking the Camino.
I changed my mind several times but in the end i jumped in with both feet;i i loved it all!!!! (even bl**dy soaking wet)
My reasoning was if i don't go i will never know and spend the rest of my life wondering about the experience's i missed!
Have faith in yourself and the kindness of others it will get you through to Santiago.
I wish you wonderful Caminos cos i hope you will have more!!


Daft it may seem to some that at 67 i used to think of these as i walked!
Three quotes i used from the forum helped when i doubted myself; usually when i was lost /alone or knackered!

Don't let your life be full of disasters that never happen (positive don't worry)

The heart has its reasons, of which reason knows nothing(why i walked;cos i had to)

and finally this one

Fate whispers to the warrior. “You cannot withstand the storm.” The warrior whispers back. “I am the storm.” (made me feel like superman;i can get there) i said when it was posted it would be my mantra and it still is I said i was daft! HA!HA!
Woody

 

[mspath]

Legless,

"The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it!"
J. M. Barrie, Peter Pan

Don't doubt, just spread your wings and soar!

 

[Icacos]

I don’t know why I remember this one:

Jump and the net will appear.

 

[isawtman]

Well, it was all going so well. 5 weeks to go, practical preparation is done, physical preparation is in hand but now I am freaking out about whether or not I can do it. The mental preparation is not going well.

Who am I kidding? I'm a shy, grieving introvert - how the hell am I going to walk into different places every night and meet different people in a different country for 7 weeks? I've travelled alone before, but not since losing my partner and not for so long. With all the COVID restrictions I think I've only spcialised 3 times since his funeral.

I'm trying to learn Spanish and I can understand a good amount but when my work colleague asks me basic questions in Spanish I freeze.

Can anyone provide any soothing words to calm me down?

I'm sure when you get done with the camino you will say it's the best thing you ever did

 

[HaveringRob]

I completely understand. I knew I was going, I had prepared. I was excited. And the week before I left, I was so overwhelmed by anxiety that I felt physically ill. I couldn't breathe, my heart was pounding, I thought I was going to throw up. I felt like a fraud -- how could I even think that I would be able to take on such a physical and mental challenge? I had not had time to physically train! The idea of talking to and connecting to other people was a disincentive. The idea that I could walk the distance was ludicrous. The self-doubt was excruciating. If I hadn't already bought my ticket and taken the time off, I sincerely doubt that I would have gone if I could have made up a convincing enough story to explain why.

That being said, I am so very grateful that I went. You may or may not have a wonderful experience, but you will have an experience. I wish you all of the joy, all of the adventure, all of the wonder, all of the revelation, and all of the peace that the Camino can offer. Mostly, I hope that you find exactly what you need, even if you aren't completely sure of that that might be.

 

[Stellamaris]

What is happening on this forum now is EXACTLY what will happen on the camino …… all way long , along with some difficult moments also as part of the way.
the Camino start when we decide to walk the Camino, so very normally we are meeting ours fears, they are parts of the way and it’s somehow they are what we have to meet to go deeper in life.
our fears are the « compost » from which was has to bloom beautifully will
Buen Camino

 

[steve 217]

Well, it was all going so well. 5 weeks to go, practical preparation is done, physical preparation is in hand but now I am freaking out about whether or not I can do it. The mental preparation is not going well.

Who am I kidding? I'm a shy, grieving introvert - how the hell am I going to walk into different places every night and meet different people in a different country for 7 weeks? I've travelled alone before, but not since losing my partner and not for so long. With all the COVID restrictions I think I've only spcialised 3 times since his funeral.

I'm trying to learn Spanish and I can understand a good amount but when my work colleague asks me basic questions in Spanish I freeze.

Can anyone provide any soothing words to calm me down?

Yes dont overthink it dont be overawed by the first day which is the hardest let the camino provide and enjoy Be the person you always wanted to be everything else will take care of itself Buen Camino

 

[legless]

Believe you can do it, don't doubt you can.

Thank you

 

[legless]

Hi Legless!
You will have the best time;maybe sore feet but still the best time ever!
I had so so many fears and doubts about undertaking the Camino.
I changed my mind several times but in the end i jumped in with both feet;i i loved it all!!!! (even bl**dy soaking wet)
My reasoning was if i don't go i will never know and spend the rest of my life wondering about the experience's i missed!
Have faith in yourself and the kindness of others it will get you through to Santiago.
I wish you wonderful Caminos cos i hope you will have more!!


Daft it may seem to some that at 67 i used to think of these as i walked!
Three quotes i used from the forum helped when i doubted myself; usually when i was lost /alone or knackered!

Don't let your life be full of disasters that never happen (positive don't worry)

The heart has its reasons, of which reason knows nothing(why i walked;cos i had to)

and finally this one

Fate whispers to the warrior. “You cannot withstand the storm.” The warrior whispers back. “I am the storm.” (made me feel like superman;i can get there) i said when it was posted it would be my mantra and it still is I said i was daft! HA!HA!
Woody

Thank you Woody! Soaking wet and sore feet - I wonder why people think we're mad?

Those quotes are really good, thank you for taking the time to help reassure me.

 

[legless]

Legless,

"The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it!"
J. M. Barrie, Peter Pan

Don't doubt, just spread your wings and soar!

I creak when I get up from a chair but I shall give flying a go!

 

[legless]

I don’t know why I remember this one:

Jump and the net will appear.

Thank you

 

[legless]

I'm sure when you get done with the camino you will say it's the best thing you ever did

I think you may be right

 

[legless]

I completely understand. I knew I was going, I had prepared. I was excited. And the week before I left, I was so overwhelmed by anxiety that I felt physically ill. I couldn't breathe, my heart was pounding, I thought I was going to throw up. I felt like a fraud -- how could I even think that I would be able to take on such a physical and mental challenge? I had not had time to physically train! The idea of talking to and connecting to other people was a disincentive. The idea that I could walk the distance was ludicrous. The self-doubt was excruciating. If I hadn't already bought my ticket and taken the time off, I sincerely doubt that I would have gone if I could have made up a convincing enough story to explain why.

That being said, I am so very grateful that I went. You may or may not have a wonderful experience, but you will have an experience. I wish you all of the joy, all of the adventure, all of the wonder, all of the revelation, and all of the peace that the Camino can offer. Mostly, I hope that you find exactly what you need, even if you aren't completely sure of that that might be.

Thank you so much for your kind words.

 

[legless]

What is happening on this forum now is EXACTLY what will happen on the camino …… all way long , along with some difficult moments also as part of the way.
the Camino start when we decide to walk the Camino, so very normally we are meeting ours fears, they are parts of the way and it’s somehow they are what we have to meet to go deeper in life.
our fears are the « compost » from which was has to bloom beautifully will
Buen Camino

Thank you. Honestly if 10% of the people I meet are as kind as the people on this forum I will feel blessed.

 

[legless]

Yes dont overthink it dont be overawed by the first day which is the hardest let the camino provide and enjoy Be the person you always wanted to be everything else will take care of itself Buen Camino

Thank you Steve

 

[mspath]

Legless,
I just read this post/link and thought that you might like it also.

 

[RJM]

You will be fine. Do not overthink it. Believe me, once you start and get into a walking routine you will wonder why you ever doubted yourself in the first place. Pace yourself and know your limitations physically and mentally.

 

[Former member 99290]

Hi @legless I've just caught up with this thread again. Just to say, and I've no doubt others feel the same - you demonstrate such grace in the way you've taken the time to acknowledge the replies from others - and with more than an emoji, though they are perfectly adequate and appreciated. Not that it's expected or necessary at all - but it's wonderful to see.

 

[David Tallan]

Well, it was all going so well. 5 weeks to go, practical preparation is done, physical preparation is in hand but now I am freaking out about whether or not I can do it. The mental preparation is not going well.

Who am I kidding? I'm a shy, grieving introvert - how the hell am I going to walk into different places every night and meet different people in a different country for 7 weeks? I've travelled alone before, but not since losing my partner and not for so long. With all the COVID restrictions I think I've only spcialised 3 times since his funeral.

I'm trying to learn Spanish and I can understand a good amount but when my work colleague asks me basic questions in Spanish I freeze.

Can anyone provide any soothing words to calm me down?

Well, as you can see from the answers above, you aren't alone in your fear and anxiety. It's understandable. The Camino is a large undertaking. Really large and daunting to those who haven't done one before. What those of us who have done it before learned is that this huge undertaking is really composed of much smaller and more manageable ones. If you keep putting one foot in front of the other and taking steps, eventually you will get there. Day by day the distance remaining and the size of the task gets smaller. And putting one foot in front of the other is something most of us are used to. After all, we've been doing it since we were about one year old and have plenty of practice!

You will be walking into different places every night and meeting different people in a different country. But it won't take long for a routine to settle in with this, too. There is a pattern to the days: wake up, walk, eat, clean, sleep, wake up, walk, eat, clean, sleep, repeat. It can ground a person and build a sense of stability. The places you stay and people you meet may be different, but they will be of a type: pilgrim accommodations, those inspired to support pilgrims, and fellow pilgrims. As you have seen here, the community is quite supportive. For me that was one of the most impactful aspects of the Camino.

If you look up "introvert" in the Forum search engine, you'll see that the topic of introverts walking the Camino has come up before. Many of our Forum members, who have walked the Camino numerous times, are introverts and have found that being an introvert hasn't posed too much of a challenge. Similarly, people successfully walk the Camino with all levels of Spanish, including none at all. If you can learn to say gracias, I think you will have the most useful word down pat.

I also admit that I'm inclined to support the words of VNWalking. Feelings, including fear and anxiety, are not right or wrong. They just are. Like the weather. We need to accept them for that and go about doing what it is that we want to do. I'm confident that you are well on your way to doing that.

 

[JabbaPapa]

Thank you or sharing your story. It is reassuring to know that a lot of my feelings are pretty normal! I've given myself plenty of time I hope, I don't want to rush. I think I'm going to be OK.

I'm less an introvert than a loner -- and truth is that unless you choose to attach yourself to some "Camino family", or are lucky enough to find a compañero/a with similar hiking pace and a mindset compatible with your own, then most of the Camino is a solitary experience, even to a degree in the Albergues.

But if by "introverted" you mean "shy", well that's very different -- if that's all it is, it will be overcome in a matter of days, if not hours !! Pilgrims are a mixed bunch of loners and socialites, those with more outgoing and others with more withdrawn personalities. But pilgrims as a rule have a way of either drawing each other together or leaving people apart as the need may be.

So don't worry -- these things are actually easier on the Camino than they are in "normal life" ...

 

[legless]

I'm less an introvert than a loner -- and truth is that unless you choose to attach yourself to some "Camino family", or are lucky enough to find a compañero/a with similar hiking pace and a mindset compatible with your own, then most of the Camino is a solitary experience, even to a degree in the Albergues.

But if by "introverted" you mean "shy", well that's very different -- if that's all it is, it will be overcome in a matter of days, if not hours !! Pilgrims are a mixed bunch of loners and socialites, those with more outgoing and others with more withdrawn personalities. But pilgrims as a rule have a way of either drawing each other together or leaving people apart as the need may be.

So don't worry -- these things are actually easier on the Camino than they are in "normal life" ...

I'm both, lucky me, INFJ introvert and also shy!

 

[legless]

Legless,
I just read this post/link and thought that you might like it also.

That's a really good read, thank you for pointing me in that direction. I do also wonder how much the fact that everything pretty much stopped for the past 2 years has increased fear and hesitancy in all areas of life.

 

[legless]

You will be fine. Do not overthink it. Believe me, once you start and get into a walking routine you will wonder why you ever doubted yourself in the first place. Pace yourself and know your limitations physically and mentally.

Thank you

 

[legless]

Hi @legless I've just caught up with this thread again. Just to say, and I've no doubt others feel the same - you demonstrate such grace in the way you've taken the time to acknowledge the replies from others - and with more than an emoji, though they are perfectly adequate and appreciated. Not that it's expected or necessary at all - but it's wonderful to see.

I'm hugely grateful that people have taken the time to reply, and every one of the replies has really helped. I'm almost feeling invincible again!

 

[legless]

Well, as you can see from the answers above, you aren't alone in your fear and anxiety. It's understandable. The Camino is a large undertaking. Really large and daunting to those who haven't done one before. What those of us who have done it before learned is that this huge undertaking is really composed of much smaller and more manageable ones. If you keep putting one foot in front of the other and taking steps, eventually you will get there. Day by day the distance remaining and the size of the task gets smaller. And putting one foot in front of the other is something most of us are used to. After all, we've been doing it since we were about one year old and have plenty of practice!

You will be walking into different places every night and meeting different people in a different country. But it won't take long for a routine to settle in with this, too. There is a pattern to the days: wake up, walk, eat, clean, sleep, wake up, walk, eat, clean, sleep, repeat. It can ground a person and build a sense of stability. The places you stay and people you meet may be different, but they will be of a type: pilgrim accommodations, those inspired to support pilgrims, and fellow pilgrims. As you have seen here, the community is quite supportive. For me that was one of the most impactful aspects of the Camino.

If you look up "introvert" in the Forum search engine, you'll see that the topic of introverts walking the Camino has come up before. Many of our Forum members, who have walked the Camino numerous times, are introverts and have found that being an introvert hasn't posed too much of a challenge. Similarly, people successfully walk the Camino with all levels of Spanish, including none at all. If you can learn to say gracias, I think you will have the most useful word down pat.

I also admit that I'm inclined to support the words of VNWalking. Feelings, including fear and anxiety, are not right or wrong. They just are. Like the weather. We need to accept them for that and go about doing what it is that we want to do. I'm confident that you are well on your way to doing that.

Thank you for this, you and so many others with experience have been massively reassuring. Once I've calmed down and head. has overtaken the heart again I do feel much better, I know I have the polite words in Spanish.

One of the things I'm looking forward to is the pattern that you mention, in fact I'm excited by that prospect, to allow my brain to ether rest or use the time to answer the questions I don't know I'm asking yet.

 

[CarolamS]

@legless you are braver than you think because you posted your fears here
I'm so sorry for your loss.
You can turn to the forum any time you want before, during and after your Camino. As a fellow INFJ I welcome you here with very open arms.
I found albergues rather scary and overwhelming so dipped in and out certainly to begin with. Remember there are different accommodation options and you can find cheap single rooms if you want some time alone to recharge your batteries.
'The Camino Provides' is a mysterious saying...until you walk it yourself and experience what it means for you. You can do this, you've already brought out the very best from the forum...your Camino is already underway

 

[legless]

@legless you are braver than you think because you posted your fears here
I'm so sorry for your loss.
You can turn to the forum any time you want before, during and after your Camino. As a fellow INFJ I welcome you here with very open arms.
I found albergues rather scary and overwhelming so dipped in and out certainly to begin with. Remember there are different accommodation options and you can find cheap single rooms if you want some time alone to recharge your batteries.
'The Camino Provides' is a mysterious saying...until you walk it yourself and experience what it means for you. You can do this, you've already brought out the very best from the forum...your Camino is already underway

Thank you for your kind words. I'm hoping that I will get enough alone, recharge time while walking to allow me to make the compromise that albergues require (The book Quiet was life changing for me) but I have started doing a little bit of overtime to give me more of a buffer if I need private rooms more than I had planned to.

I am overwhelmed by the replies here and how much people have taken the time to help me, I am so appreciative. The support here has put my fears properly into perspective and I am definitely now excited again - staring at my stuff gathered on the dining table, wondering if I can pack yet!