Very afraid to walk alone ever since Denise's tragedy (RIP)

[Olivares]

As you can read from my profile, I have been in the Camino Frances many times since 1997-- more repeatedly since 2011. I always, but once, walked by myself, often times many, many kms in isolated areas. Never much of a fear...until Denise Thiem's tragedy.

I want to do another Camino, but feel a lot of trepidation and fear to walk by myself. To make this a worse dilemma, I love to do the Camino solo and don't think I would enjoyed as much with permanent company (I do love the temporary, sporadic, Camino companions).

Any thoughts? What Camino would you choose next given the above? Any tips to somewhat mitigate this new fear?

 

[Tincatinker]

@Olivares amiga, I do not know what I can say that has not already been said many times in this last year but I will say this. The Caminos are safe places to be. Far safer than many of the towns and cities we all live our daily lives in. Death comes to the Camino sometimes - from cold and rain; from a failing heart or an overtaxed blood vessel; from a speeding truck or a careless footstep: and once in living memory from the actions of a man who now resides in a Spanish prison awaiting justice. I know you have walked the camino. You know that it is a rare thing to be alone on the Frances. There are always other pilgrims around. You know that you can walk beside them. It doesn't have to be a permanent arrangement, it doesn't have to be a formal arrangement. You know that at any time you can ask your fellow pilgrims "May I walk with you today?" and you know what their answer will be.

Do you remember how scared you felt as you took your very first tentative steps on the Camino? Perhaps even before you got to Spain. Nervous on the transit, shaky on the 'plane. Bewildered at passport control in a country about which you knew only stories.

Take deep, slow breaths Peregrina. Remember the joy, remember the glory, remember that personal triumph. Do not let the action of that one man take even a fraction of that away from you. There are thousands of good people walking the Camino. There are millions of good people who live along the camino. He is not there anymore.

 

[James R B]

Tell everyone you listen to heavy metal music.That's your "ace in the hole".Just kidding,You'll be fine.

 

[domigee]

I can't add anything to Tinkatinker's perfect post.
You asked which camino to choose next? I would maybe avoid the ones not so crowded. I walked the VdlP in June last year but with my husband. I think he too was worried about my walking alone after what happened. Anyway, we didn't meet anyone for days whilst walking.
I haven't walked any other caminos, only the francés and VdlP so can't advise.
All I can say is... I walked alone across countries that many regarded as dangerous and yet I felt - and was - safer than when walking late back home in Paris ....
Maybe walk the Cf again or the Portuguese? I feel your fears and yet we have to overcome them.
All the best, peregrina.

 

[Mike Savage]

I don't have the same fear but it seems to me that if you walk the Francés there are always people around and you could just walk with others in view and if you don't feel like talking much you could just smile and nod your head when they speak or carry a rosary in your hand so they think you are praying and don't want to be disturbed.

Buen Camino.

 

[Rebekah Scott]

Your choices are clear: If you're afraid to walk alone, don't walk alone. Or don't walk.
It seems perhaps you need to walk again, to face this down and regain your confidence. So walk again, with someone you like.

 

[mspath]

All life is chance; things are or are not. Do not worry about what you can't control but do hope for the best while trying to make things better....Keep on walking.

 

[Angie94]

Do not let the action of that one man take even a fraction of that away from you.

love this....

 

[Ahhhs]

Yes. Walk the Frances again. So many options there. And if there is an area that makes you uncomfortable, pick that day to link up with fellow walkers.

 

[cherrys]

If you want to get together and talk about this in person I believe we live pretty close to each other. I too walked much of it alone and loved the solitude, but terrible as this murder was, I would not let it stop me doing something so beautiful and meaningful. I am going back in September, not alone this time, but with my husband and daughter. But only because they have the time now, not because i am afraid. Take care, Cherry

 

[movinmaggie]

As you can read from my profile, I have been in the Camino Frances many times since 1997-- more repeatedly since 2011. I always, but once, walked by myself, often times many, many kms in isolated areas. Never much of a fear...until Denise Thiem's tragedy.

I want to do another Camino, but feel a lot of trepidation and fear to walk by myself. To make this a worse dilemma, I love to do the Camino solo and don't think I would enjoyed as much with permanent company (I do love the temporary, sporadic, Camino companions).

Any thoughts? What Camino would you choose next given the above? Any tips to somewhat mitigate this new fear?

If you do choose fear, you risk drawing it to you; perhaps wait until such time as you deem it to be a non-issue.

 

[Camino sisters]

@Olivares amiga, I do not know what I can say that has not already been said many times in this last year but I will say this. The Caminos are safe places to be. Far safer than many of the towns and cities we all live our daily lives in. Death comes to the Camino sometimes - from cold and rain; from a failing heart or an overtaxed blood vessel; from a speeding truck or a careless footstep: and once in living memory from the actions of a man who now resides in a Spanish prison awaiting justice. I know you have walked the camino. You know that it is a rare thing to be alone on the Frances. There are always other pilgrims around. You know that you can walk beside them. It doesn't have to be a permanent arrangement, it doesn't have to be a formal arrangement. You know that at any time you can ask your fellow pilgrims "May I walk with you today?" and you know what their answer will be.

Do you remember how scared you felt as you took your very first tentative steps on the Camino? Perhaps even before you got to Spain. Nervous on the transit, shaky on the 'plane. Bewildered at passport control in a country about which you knew only stories.

Take deep, slow breaths Peregrina. Remember the joy, remember the glory, remember that personal triumph. Do not let the action of that one man take even a fraction of that away from you. There are thousands of good people walking the Camino. There are millions of good people who live along the camino. He is not there anymore.

What a beautiful response!

 

[MinaKamina]

Hi Olivares, if you are afraid, then that is what you are. It is as simple as that. The death of Denise has had and is still having a huge impact on many. This goes beyond the cruel loss of her. There is also a loss of innocence because things happened that no one ever deemed possible. Denise too counted on the Camino being safe.
Friends of Denise told me that they used to jog alone in the countryside near their (American) home town. They no longer do that. They still jog, but they take a friend. And sometimes miss the solitude.

Take a good look at your fear. What would make you feel more secure? To have a companion in the near distance? To have your phone with the emergency numbers ready? To take some training in self-defence before you leave? I've been thinking about such a training myself, because physical self-defense does not come natural to me. First this scared me, and now I'm becoming increasingly irritated about my lack of skills in this respect. I want to regain my power! I trust that I will find mine, and you will find yours. Buen Camino!

 

[Olivares]

If you want to get together and talk about this in person I believe we live pretty close to each other. I too walked much of it alone and loved the solitude, but terrible as this murder was, I would not let it stop me doing something so beautiful and meaningful. I am going back in September, not alone this time, but with my husband and daughter. But only because they have the time now, not because i am afraid. Take care, Cherry

Hi Cherry!! Yes, I remembered we lived in the same area! I took a hiatus from the Camino in 2014 after my husband fell ill. While still battling a chronic condition, he has retired from work and that has somehow lead to some improvement on his mobility and travel abilities. So, for the first time in almost two years I am looking at the Camino again and letting myself have some hope that I will get back on it soon.

Your upcoming Sept plans sound lovely! I would love to pick up again on the plans we had talked about to meet (Saratoga? and have some Camino Talk! All the best! Buen Camino!

 

[Olivares]

Take a good look at your fear. What would make you feel more secure? To have a companion in the near distance? To have your phone with the emergency numbers ready? To take some training in self-defence before you leave? I've been thinking about such a training myself, because physical self-defense does not come natural to me. First this scared me, and now I'm becoming increasingly irritated about my lack of skills in this respect. I want to regain my power! I trust that I will find mine, and you will find yours. Buen Camino!

Your post is empowering. It places my mind on the "how to..." instead of "why not....". Your advice on personal defense skills makes a lot of sense. Many thanks for taking the time to give me advice! Safe travels and Buen Camino!!

 

[Olivares]

I walked the VdlP in June last year but with my husband. I think he too was worried about my walking alone after what happened. Anyway, we didn't meet anyone for days whilst walking.

Thank you for the kind advice. I am fascinated by VdlP, but it worries me that it is that solitary.

 

[Olivares]

Do you remember how scared you felt as you took your very first tentative steps on the Camino? .....

Take deep, slow breaths Peregrina. Remember the joy, remember the glory, remember that personal triumph. Do not let the action of that one man take even a fraction of that away from you. There are thousands of good people walking the Camino. There are millions of good people who live along the camino. He is not there anymore.

Your post is both kind and empowering. Thank you for taking the time to address my fears. Yes, the first day at SJPDP (27 May 2011) I cried sitting at the bed and about to embark on the Camino Frances. Thanks for bringing me to that moment and placing it in perspective with the amazing adventure that came right after. Many blessings your way, Amigo. Buen Camino.

 

[domigee]

Thank you for the kind advice. I am fascinated by VdlP, but it worries me that it is that solitary.

It is solitary in June/july/August, for obvious reasons : the heat! It may not be in the Spring, why don't you ask people in the 'VdlP' section? They'll know....
It is a great walk and I don't want to put you off but I definitely don't advise the Summer.

 

[Olivares]

It is solitary in June/july/August, for obvious reasons : the heat! It may not be in the Spring, why don't you ask people in the 'VdlP' section? They'll know....
It is a great walk and I don't want to put you off but I definitely don't advise the Summer.

Makes a lot of sense. Thanks domigee. Buen Camino!

 

[Ahhhs]

Remember too that that one terrible, evil person has been removed.

Buen Camino.

 

[jennie]

@Olivares amiga, I do not know what I can say that has not already been said many times in this last year but I will say this. The Caminos are safe places to be. Far safer than many of the towns and cities we all live our daily lives in. Death comes to the Camino sometimes - from cold and rain; from a failing heart or an overtaxed blood vessel; from a speeding truck or a careless footstep: and once in living memory from the actions of a man who now resides in a Spanish prison awaiting justice. I know you have walked the camino. You know that it is a rare thing to be alone on the Frances. There are always other pilgrims around. You know that you can walk beside them. It doesn't have to be a permanent arrangement, it doesn't have to be a formal arrangement. You know that at any time you can ask your fellow pilgrims "May I walk with you today?" and you know what their answer will be.

Do you remember how scared you felt as you took your very first tentative steps on the Camino? Perhaps even before you got to Spain. Nervous on the transit, shaky on the 'plane. Bewildered at passport control in a country about which you knew only stories.

Take deep, slow breaths Peregrina. Remember the joy, remember the glory, remember that personal triumph. Do not let the action of that one man take even a fraction of that away from you. There are thousands of good people walking the Camino. There are millions of good people who live along the camino. He is not there anymore.

really sound and good advice and very well put.

 

[natefaith]

@Olivares : Thank you so much for your honesty and vulnerability! Please don't let circumstances or fear steal your joy, or influence your hopes for another Camino. Seems like you have some good options before you (walk alone but feel equipped to use self-defense/ be prepared to handle an emergency, walk the Camino Frances, walk the VdlP with someone else, etc.). You may have thought of this already, too, but if your fear lingers hopefully a trusted counselor can help you unpack it and attack it so you can move forward in courage. Keep us all updated!
Take care,
Faith

 

[Scott Sweeney]

Sorry thing to say but if you are from the United States you are less safe walking out of your door at home than walking in Spain. Tragedy happens everywhere and it can be horrifying. I go to work or stop for a glass of wine in the Virginia/DC area and worry each day that some a$$&%+e is going to pull out a gun and shoot at me or feel like they need to protect me and kill someone else. Eight days from now we will be in Spain and I am looking forward to feeling secure and at peace again. If you feel afraid, walk within eye sight of others.

Buen Camino

 

[La Rubia]

I walked, alone, from Leon to Santiago last May, while Denise was still missing and there were still organized search parties. I too felt some trepidation, but pretty early on I realized that a) I wasn't ever really "alone" for long stretches of time, as there were always other pilgrims about, and b) I was probably safer than at home in Los Angeles. Oh, and c) that I absolutely loved my solitude, because I don't get much of it in my day-t0-day life here at home. So I leave this week to walk the Ingles, again alone. Really can't wait to be back in Galicia...

 

[M&A]

As you can read from my profile, I have been in the Camino Frances many times since 1997-- more repeatedly since 2011. I always, but once, walked by myself, often times many, many kms in isolated areas. Never much of a fear...until Denise Thiem's tragedy.

I want to do another Camino, but feel a lot of trepidation and fear to walk by myself. To make this a worse dilemma, I love to do the Camino solo and don't think I would enjoyed as much with permanent company (I do love the temporary, sporadic, Camino companions).

Any thoughts? What Camino would you choose next given the above? Any tips to somewhat mitigate this new fear?

 

[M&A]

Olivares walked last part of Camino Portuguese last September with my friend. Didn't feel too concerned. Don't think I would like too walk alone. Another friend is doing her second Camino Frances alone this year. Camino Frances seems to be the most popular and maybe not as quiet if you're alone. Good luck whatever you decide.

 

[Mudcrone]

As you can read from my profile, I have been in the Camino Frances many times since 1997-- more repeatedly since 2011. I always, but once, walked by myself, often times many, many kms in isolated areas. Never much of a fear...until Denise Thiem's tragedy.

I want to do another Camino, but feel a lot of trepidation and fear to walk by myself. To make this a worse dilemma, I love to do the Camino solo and don't think I would enjoyed as much with permanent company (I do love the temporary, sporadic, Camino companions).

Any thoughts? What Camino would you choose next given the above? Any tips to somewhat mitigate this new fear?

I'm 69 and have walked the entire route twice alone, the Via de la Plata alone, and half the Frances last year with my daughter. I too prefer to walk alone, and I believe it's safer on the Camino than in most towns and cities in the USA. BTW I turn 70 in Sapin this year and am walking the Portuguese and Primitivo alone.

 

[cherrys]

Hi Cherry!! Yes, I remembered we lived in the same area! I took a hiatus from the Camino in 2014 after my husband fell ill. While still battling a chronic condition, he has retired from work and that has somehow lead to some improvement on his mobility and travel abilities. So, for the first time in almost two years I am looking at the Camino again and letting myself have some hope that I will get back on it soon.

Your upcoming Sept plans sound lovely! I would love to pick up again on the plans we had talked about to meet (Saratoga? and have some Camino Talk! All the best! Buen Camino!

 

[cherrys]

Hi again - I'm down in the City attending our daughter's graduation from Pace U (summa cum laude, we are so proud of her) but I will be home this weekend. I'm sorry to hear about your husband's health, but glad he's doing better. Maybe we can get together sometime next week? Take care, Cherry

 

[Olivares]

Hi again - I'm down in the City attending our daughter's graduation from Pace U (summa cum laude, we are so proud of her) but I will be home this weekend. I'm sorry to hear about your husband's health, but glad he's doing better. Maybe we can get together sometime next week? Take care, Cherry

Hello Cherry! -- very glad to hear from you! Yes, next week (towards the weekend?) sounds like a great idea, specially since the weather will be improving Perhaps we can meet for lunch? I am heading out to California (work related) but will be returning mid-week. Let me know your preference, I am so looking forward to meeting somebody on "my neck of the woods" that understand what the Camino is about. Take care Cherry!

 

[sabbott]

I'm walking the Frances now, and tonight am in Astorga. I'm walking alone, and much of the time from SJPD have been literally alone, with no one in sight for long stretches of time. This is because I am slow, both getting going in the morning, and going! I love to take my time, and also to walk on my own, and at my own pace. Once in a while, especially in the places that feel like "no man's land" around cities, I've felt a bit nervous. But I've decided that objectively, this Camino is a very safe place. I live in Vermont, one of the safest states in the US, and still there have been murders not far from my home--but no way would I stop walking in the woods or on country roads alone there.

What Tincatinker said is true--we can't let evil people--or the media full of stories about violence towards women--get in our heads. I don't want to be controlled by fear.

If I can find someone who walks at my slow pace to be with between Astorga and Rabanal tomorrow, that's fine, but I probably won't. Either way, I'll be thinking of Denise. Maybe walking alone and standing up to our fear is a way to honor her memory.

 

[americansue]

If you want to get together and talk about this in person I believe we live pretty close to each other. I too walked much of it alone and loved the solitude, but terrible as this murder was, I would not let it stop me doing something so beautiful and meaningful. I am going back in September, not alone this time, but with my husband and daughter. But only because they have the time now, not because i am afraid. Take care, Cherry

Cherry - I want to walk the del Norte by myself this June. I would like to correspond with you if it is Ok. I'm not up to speed on using boards like this so I don't know how to make our conversation private without posting my email address. I will "wander" around this cyber site and see what I find. Thanks, Susan

 

[Smallest_Sparrow]

Cherry - I want to walk the del Norte by myself this June. I would like to correspond with you if it is Ok. I'm not up to speed on using boards like this so I don't know how to make our conversation private without posting my email address. I will "wander" around this cyber site and see what I find. Thanks, Susan

click on her name under her avatar. click on start a conversation.
alternatively, click on your name top right of page, click on conversations, click start a conversation, type in name of person

 

[Gabby Luebeck]

@Olivares amiga, I do not know what I can say that has not already been said many times in this last year but I will say this. The Caminos are safe places to be. Far safer than many of the towns and cities we all live our daily lives in. Death comes to the Camino sometimes - from cold and rain; from a failing heart or an overtaxed blood vessel; from a speeding truck or a careless footstep: and once in living memory from the actions of a man who now resides in a Spanish prison awaiting justice. I know you have walked the camino. You know that it is a rare thing to be alone on the Frances. There are always other pilgrims around. You know that you can walk beside them. It doesn't have to be a permanent arrangement, it doesn't have to be a formal arrangement. You know that at any time you can ask your fellow pilgrims "May I walk with you today?" and you know what their answer will be.

Do you remember how scared you felt as you took your very first tentative steps on the Camino? Perhaps even before you got to Spain. Nervous on the transit, shaky on the 'plane. Bewildered at passport control in a country about which you knew only stories.

Take deep, slow breaths Peregrina. Remember the joy, remember the glory, remember that personal triumph. Do not let the action of that one man take even a fraction of that away from you. There are thousands of good people walking the Camino. There are millions of good people who live along the camino. He is not there anymore.

 

[Gabby Luebeck]

Thank you for sharing such appeasing words. I am walking the camino for the first time in 2017, and doing it alone... I travel alone most of the time, but never done it in this manner or for this length of time (51 days). I am a bit nervous, but your words are reassuring of a safe Camino.
Thank you!

 

[Binya]

As reflected in these posts; so many caring, kind-hearted, wise people walk, The Way!
Trust your instincts- these internal guides are what serve us at all times in our life.
To be strong physically and mentally is a great asset; no matter what age we are...
Buen Camino!