Tamsin Grainger
Active Member
- Time of past OR future Camino
- Francés
De la plata
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I t has taken a long time for me to return to the forum but this is a strange coincidence - explanation later. The subject you raise is an important one and one close to my heart Tamsin. I recall one book written by an Irish (?) priest who walked the way after the death of his brother., other members will no doubt remember the details.Do any of you know if someone has done a project about death and the camino? I have just written a book about death and loss in my own subject area (published 2020) and as a very keen (and quite experienced) peregrina, I have been thinking about connecting my two interests. I would be grateful for any thoughts or info you have.
Thank you. That is the second time her name has come up in one hour. I sure will. TGet @Rebekah Scott in on this discussion. Her Peaceable Projects charity has the Pilgrim Memorial Grove.
Thank you very much for your comment. Very helpful and, yes, what à coïncidence.I t has taken a long time for me to return to the forum but this is a strange coincidence - explanation later. The subject you raise is an important one and one close to my heart Tamsin. I recall one book written by an Irish (?) priest who walked the way after the death of his brother., other members will no doubt remember the details.
The coincidence is that by accident I just came across this website www. sophieswalk.co.uk set up by a family whose daughter took her own life. One - or both - subsequently walked from SJPdP to SdC. Through the sale of a calendar - Doors of the Camino - they are raising money for the charity Papyrus in the UK which works to support young people at risk of taking their own lives. I have no connection with the charity or the family but felt this might be something that forum members might be interested in and which, yet again highlights the link between grieving, walking & healing.
Thank youI don't know of anyone who has done that, Tamsin.
But there are plenty of stories of people walking to heal from loss and grief - as well as the other side of the coin, people who have died along the way. And sometimes there are posts of family members who come to the camino to mourn their loss - these family members have a whole different relationship to this than the rest of us do. And then there is the loss from aging that long-term pilgrims face when it is no longer possible to walk.
I am sure if you solicited for stories here, you would surely have no shortage. This week alone there are sad threads about deaths on both ends of the Camino Frances, in Roncesvalles and Finisterre.
All blessings on this. It would be a valuable offering to all of us...
So good to see you back again SebI t has taken a long time for me to return to the forum but this is a strange coincidence - explanation later. The subject you raise is an important one and one close to my heart Tamsin. I recall one book written by an Irish (?) priest who walked the way after the death of his brother., other members will no doubt remember the details.
The coincidence is that by accident I just came across this website www. sophieswalk.co.uk set up by a family whose daughter took her own life. One - or both - subsequently walked from SJPdP to SdC. Through the sale of a calendar - Doors of the Camino - they are raising money for the charity Papyrus in the UK which works to support young people at risk of taking their own lives. I have no connection with the charity or the family but felt this might be something that forum members might be interested in and which, yet again highlights the link between grieving, walking & healing.
Thank you very mucha film was made about moving on from loss, on the camino ...called "Camino Skies - Trailer here; What is so life-changing about this spanish trail? | Doc Edge 2019" on YouTube
Thank you very much for your contributionSo good to see you back again Seb
And you are so right re the link between walking, healing and grieving...for any kind of loss
My brother in law in Ireland cycles with a group,...they wear orange t shirts but I've Forgotton the name....later I will find out and post here.
They do a lot of fundraising and go into schools to take to children/ young people about suicide and when and where to ask for help
There's also a place called Pieta house in Ireland ....a residential centre where people at risk of suicide can get help ...hope to post more later
Annette
Yes thankyou, great ideasHow about researching and writing on the number of pilgrim memorials along the way.
For instance there’s a totem dedicated to a pilgrim who died in the albergue at St. Nicolas de Flue in Ponferrada.
The totem is in the courtyard.
And the bicycle memorial near El Acebo for another pilgrim, a cyclist, who was hit by a car.
Good writing to you.
Thank you very much for taking the time to reply and for your encouragementI don't know of anyone who has done that, Tamsin.
But there are plenty of stories of people walking to heal from loss and grief - as well as the other side of the coin, people who have died along the way. And sometimes there are posts of family members who come to the camino to mourn their loss - these family members have a whole different relationship to this than the rest of us do. And then there is the loss from aging that long-term pilgrims face when it is no longer possible to walk.
I am sure if you solicited for stories here, you would surely have no shortage. This week alone there are sad threads about deaths on both ends of the Camino Frances, in Roncesvalles and Finisterre.
All blessings on this. It would be a valuable offering to all of us...
Thank you for sharing your memories. You have obviously been through such a lot and I salute you for the strength you have found.When Scott first asked me to scatter his ashes at Finisterre he was fit and active and we had our life stretched out before us, just like the many kms we had just walked to get there. I thought it was a romantic fancy, surprisingly for such a practical man he was like that.
When he reminded me of my promise a few years later he was dealing with the ravages of cancer and it was one of the few times he would talk about what would happen after he died. Perhaps he thought rewalking our favourite Camino would help me with my grief. It didn't. Our Camino adventures had always been a source of joy, an indulgence where we got to go off and leave the crazy world behind and just focus on putting one step ahead of another.
Last year when I trudged ahead weighed down by my many burdens and dealing with an increasing list of injuries as I slowly broke down, it wasn't grief that I was dealing with as much as my own stubornness. But at the end of the day when we stopped, there was time for a beer and to talk with my daughter about the section ahead and what Scott thought of it. The camino became a journey of memories, often painful, but there was laughter too, grateful that I was walking in the footsteps of happier times.
Death isn't something we talk about and I've never met anyone on the Camino who discussed it. Blisters yes, the weight of your pack, how good/bad the markings are, these are all topics we obsess about while on the way. The other stuff is left for inner contemplation.
Many thanksa film was made about moving on from loss, on the camino ...called "Camino Skies - Trailer here; What is so life-changing about this spanish trail? | Doc Edge 2019" on YouTube
Hi I am unsure what this is referring to. Is Irish stuff not allowed?As promised in post 13
If this is not relevant to the thread then the moderators can delete it
These organisations are based in Ireland View attachment 65210View attachment 65211
Hi Tamsin,Hi I am unsure what this is referring to. Is Irish stuff not allowed?
Tamsin, I don't know if this is relevant, but the Forum lost a much loved member this week. He posted before he left saying he hoped he'd catch up with others of us as he walked up the hill out of SJPP. And off he went, thinking he had a whole camino ahead of him.
Buen camino, and take care all. If the camino teaches us anything, it's this: live today wholeheartedly, as if it is your last day here, because it could be. For any of us.
Do any of you know if someone has done a project about death and the camino? I have just written a book about death and loss in my own subject area (published 2020) and as a very keen (and quite experienced) peregrina, I have been thinking about connecting my two interests. I would be grateful for any thoughts or info you have.
Yes, thanks, I saw this and left a reply myself.Tamsin, I don't know if this is relevant, but the Forum lost a much loved member this week. He posted before he left saying he hoped he'd catch up with others of us as he walked up the hill out of SJPP. And off he went, thinking he had a whole camino ahead of him.
Buen camino, and take care all. If the camino teaches us anything, it's this: live today wholeheartedly, as if it is your last day here, because it could be. For any of us.
Thank you for your message. I can well imagine folk sharing the types of stories you refer to in the first part of your message. Walking side by side with a stranger can be exactly the right circumstances for such an exchange.Tamsin-- I am a 7-time veteran of the camino and have run into many people walking because of a loss they experienced-- usually a spouse or a very close family member, but also for a friend. I've shared meals with pilgrims who would tell me about their loved one who passed away during dinner. And also sharing time on the trail or at a place of lodging when these things were mentioned. It's interesting to me since my first camino was done for a brother who disappeared, never again to be found or heard from. His disappearance occurred when he was an 8th grade student (that was over 50 years ago), a victim of an abduction from what could be reconstructed about the events that day. I thought the camino would have been a one time thing, but here I am planning an 8th walk this coming spring.
No, I haven't. I read one of Elizabeth's about them moving to France, but I didn't know about their daughter. Thank you, I will look it up. Nice book titleHave you come across “The Field of the Star” by Nicholas Luard?
Or “Family Life” by Elisabeth Luard? (she of cookery book fame.)
They each wrote about the death of their daughter.
Nicholas Luard walked the CF, in stages, over time, beginning whilst his daughter was ill and completing it after she had died.
So true Tamsin,Yes, thanks, I saw this and left a reply myself.
It is your sentiment exactly which got me to my first Camino. I read too many accounts of people on their death beds saying 'it' came sooner than expected and they didn't have time for what they wanted to do. So, off I went!
I hope you are getting the support you need in your shock over the immediacy of death. Facing up to this possibility, really facing it, can be scary and have many repercussions, emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually.And, that’s what’s getting me.
The immediacy of death.
All he did was walk up a hill.
Again, may he rest in power.
Nor me.So true Tamsin,
I've met those a short time from death reading holiday brochures...heartbreaking really
Also those angry at their partners for dying and leaving them without enjoying their retirement..some saying "he wanted to work a bit longer so we could enjoy our retirement....this from a lady who was apoplectic with rage....I can still see her face even now after many years as I can the face of a young man reading the holiday brochure
And I never heard anyone say on their deathbed..."I wish I'd worked harder"
Thank you for your recommendation and a good summing up of the book. I will have a read.I have just read a book called 'Motherling', by Jen Hutchison, who walked the Camino after her son died and left parts of his ashes in spots where she felt his spirit tell her were the right spots. She was looking to finish in Santiago and was searching for a place put the second last packet when she felt a very strong presence of her son saying that inside the cathedral was not the right place but in Finisterra, so she went to Finisterra which she hadn't intended to do. She carries the last packet with her on all walks now so that her son can continue to adventure!
Yes I was very sorry to hear that.We lost Dorpie, an important member of our Forum family this week.
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