Day 19 - Judgement
Date: 04.06.2019
Journey: Santa Marta de Terra > Mombuey, 36km
Total Distance: 690 / 974km
Weather: Cloudy with periods of Sun, 21°C
Accommodation: Albergue de Peregrinos Mombuey
Feeling: Renergised
Lesson: Judge them not too harshly; they are as you would be given the same circumstances and situation - Abraham Lincoln
- Today’s Walk -
Yesterday’s short walk gave way to a much needed day to relax and recharge. I was in for the day by 11 am and spent most of the day writing, as well as washing, cooking, backing up photos, and caring for my poor blistered feet. After a productive day, I was in bed by 22:00 and I slept all the way through till 5:45 am. To my surprise, even though the room was dominated by 5 men with an average age of 60+, there wasn’t one single snorer in the room so I woke up feeling refreshed and in a very good mood.
Today’s walk was different. The walk passed through forests, with tall lanky trees (I’m not sure what they are called) elevating strong into the air, symmetrically placed in lines of perfection. I then followed a few canals and met with the river Tera which I followed until I crossed a large dam, admiring the power of water as it spurted out ferociously from a bottlenecked spout.
My boots were still squashing my toes, and although the pain wasn’t as severe yesterday, I decided to walk the last 15km of today’s journey in my flip flops, which after 20km feeling like I was walking on needles, felt like I was walking on feathers. Although my feet were incredibly mucky by the time I reached Mombuey, it was a trade-off I was happy to take today instead of pain.
- Notes on Judgement -
I’ve kept a journal since I was 7 years old and I’ve been writing journal entries like this one for a large part of my life and for a long time I wouldn’t let anyone read the words I wrote. I’d hide my journals from my mum in fear that she’d read them and judge me for what I’d written. It wasn’t anything personal against my mum; I was afraid of anyone reading my journals for that matter because writing has always been a highly intimate affair and something that I’ve kept very private. That was until a couple of years ago when I finally opened up and let a close friend read some of my journal entries for the first time. It felt strange at first, knowing someone had access to the rawest thoughts of my mind, but I rolled with it, and to my surprise, the judgement I’d worried about so much, never materialised, and instead, abundance took its place.
This experience made me rethink my approach to writing, and in 2016, when I walked my first Camino, I decided to make my journal entries public. I knew that by putting my raw thoughts on social media, I was opening myself up to scrutiny and the possibility of judgement and ridicule. But to me, there’s nothing more important than the truth and speaking from the heart, so I knew that by putting my words out publicly I was opening myself up to a good opportunity to learn to be ok with authenticity and vulnerability.
Since posting my first entry in 2016, I’ve received an overwhelming amount of positive feedback from people. In many cases, my words have inspired people to walk their own Camino, or find courage in other areas of their life, and in some cases, even feel comfortable opening up to me about some of the difficulties they are going through. However, there is a downside to posting publicly which I was fully aware of before pressing publish on my first post. The downside is that there will always be critics. I call them the 5% club; the 5% of people who you simply cannot please. They dislike what you do and say; and given any opportunity will be there to put you down, ridicule you, or tell you how the world works right from their armchair.
In the context of my current journey, 95% of the comments and messages I’ve received from people have been abundant, beautiful and positive. The remaining 5% of messages made rash assumptions about my journey and criticised the way I am approaching my journey. It’s been really interesting to observe. Many of these people have never met me. They don’t know anything about who I am or my back story. They don’t ask questions, and I don’t get the feeling that these people really want to discover the truth, but instead simply push their frame of reality on my walk.
They tell me things like:
•I’m not prepared and I’m walking too long distances.
•I’m walking too fast, rushing and not seeing anything.
•I must not walk on the highway.
•My spreadsheet is doomed to fail.
•I’m depriving myself of eating.
But the funny thing is none of this is true. They would understand this too if only they took the time to ask questions and get to know me. I think a good term for these people is ‘armchair pilgrims’ - who are quick to judge, drop their opinion on you and love to tell you the ‘right’ way to walk your journey. So to avoid any more comments like the ones above, I want to clarify the assumptions above:
•I’m not prepared and walking too long distances - I am 28 years old, young, healthy and fit and have been a passionate sportsman since I was 5 years old. I did 6 months of dedicated training for this Camino. It’s my 4th Camino, and when I am not on the Camino I train 6 days a week, running on average about 70km and cycling about 100km a week. With my current level of fitness, walking 60km a day is comfortable without incurring any injuries. I planned to walk 2/3 of my walking comfort zone, somewhere in the region of 30-40km daily with the occasional longer day. I also did my research and laid out a mock route in a spreadsheet well before I even took my first step, so that I knew where I was going and whether there was going to be food, water and accommodation available.
•I’m walking too fast, rushing and not seeing a thing - No I’m not. I walk slow and long. I walk at about 4 - 4.5 km/h. That’s a comfortable and natural pace for my body. People see the long distances I walk and assume I am rushing and don’t see a thing. It’s not true. Let’s look at this with a hypothetical example. If Pilgrim A walks 20km over 4 hours and Pilgrim B walks 36km over 12 hours, who is the faster walker? At first glance, if we only see the number of kilometres walked then we’d assume Pilgrim B is walking way faster. But it’s simply not true. Pilgrim B is walking at 3 km/h, whereas Pilgrim A is walking at 5 km/h. Not only is Pilgrim B walking slower, but they also spend more time on the trail (albeit at the expense of socialising and resting), which ironically means they have more time on the trail each day to ‘see more’. Conclusion: there’s always much more context than simply the distance that’s being walked daily.
•I must not walk on the highway - What’s wrong with walking on the highway? People assume that because they don’t like walking on the highway, someone else won’t either. But I love highway walking - I find it oddly beautiful and a good chance to mix things up. The other day I opted to do a 44km day that took a diversion on the highway to Tabara so that I could gain an extra day at the end of my trip to head to Muxia. Someone got mad at me on the comments. They said it was dangerous and silly of me. I am fully aware it’s not the safest option, but his comment also confused me because quite a large portion of most Caminos involves highway walking that all pilgrims must do unless they get transport to the next part of the trail. To add to this, even parts of the Via de la Plata have been on the exact same highway I walked on that day.
•My spreadsheet is doomed to fail - I received this comment this morning after sharing my spreadsheet for the Via de la Plata to help pilgrims who are going to walk the route. Someone commented telling me he was a Chief Financial Officer and said: “your spreadsheet is doomed to fail.” Maybe he knows something I don’t about my journey, but I am 19 days into my journey, and using my spreadsheet It has actually been one of my most useful tools for organising my journey and making sure that I am in the know about where I am going and the distances between towns.
•I’m depriving myself of eating - I said I was hungry in one of my posts and someone jumped to the assumption that I was depriving myself of eating. That day I had already eaten a yoghurt, a full avocado, a punnet of cherry tomatoes, 500g of strawberries and a muesli bar. I’ll say no more about that.
I understand that most people have good intentions and want the best for me, but in many cases, I often feel like people are trying to push their reality onto mine, and it just doesn’t mesh. They speak from their frame of thinking, making rash assumptions without knowing me, and it’s tiring to explain myself again and again. In addition, to my detriment, the posts I write daily are only about a 1% reflection of my journey stating what I am feeling and what I am going through. I write them quickly once I arrive and most of the time my writing is sloppy and raw because I’m tired, so I probably don’t explain things as well as I should.
So this is a post for the 'armchair pilgrims' out there - please let us all hike our own hike, just like you are free and welcome to hike your own hike too without judgement too. Let us be free to make decisions for ourselves. Let us go fast if we want to. Let us go slow if that’s our style too. Let us walk backwards, forwards, do handstands every 5km if that’s what we want to do.
Because there’s one truth that stands and that is that there is no right, better, or superior way to walk. All ways are equal. And in the words of Abraham Lincoln, ‘“judge them not too harshly” - by all means ask questions, be curious, and take time to try and understand. But in the grander perspective of things; it’s their life, it’s their path, and they have the right to choose how they walk it.
Speak soon.
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