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On another thread right now there's a touching stream of support for a member who's a few months out from her planned walk--and beginning to feel 'the jitters' in a big way.
It's that time of year, when giddily made plans begin to take on an unnerving reality.
There's all that stuff in the spare room and the ticket in the starred email inbox list.
But it can feel like the theme of Jaws is playing in the background.
"What was I thinking!?" can be the the thought that the mind comes back to again and again.
And so I thought if we all came out with our own stories of pre-walk panic, it might make her (and the silent majority of beginners) feel a little less alone, and a little less crazy.
So for the welfare (and perhaps amusement) of us all...
How do you (did you?) experience pre-walk nerves? Has it ever stopped you from going? And how do you deal with it?
Muy Buen Camino, Sabine--jitters and all! May security be a breeze.Tomorrow I leave for yet another Camino and I'm now officially very jittery.
"scary fun"
Woo-ow. Beautiful, @LesBrass.I think that I am my harshest critic and that the voice in my head can and has stopped me doing a great many things in my life... the Camino has taught me to ignore that voice and follow my heart instead... and when I'm walking the Camino it feels like flying. Now I dream of walking up the highest hills, arms outstretched, catching the breeze and looking back at how far I've come.
It literally translates as 'pre-fun'.
Attunement!Whenever I get scared or anxious (rather too often for comfort) I try to remind myself of Sayde's "scary fun".
Jitters or no jitters, I wish you for the coming weeks a wonderful time and a Buen Camino,Peter.Hehe good timing posting this Viranani! Universal jitters!
Tomorrow I leave for yet another Camino and I'm now officially very jittery.
The pack is made ( except for my final selection of three pair of socks), the shoes are clean, the cat has all the food she needs for the next four weeks and my lovely friend neighbour is on standby for cat and housesitting.
So yes still pre walk nerves : I know for sure that security guys will pick me out of the line at the airport, I will forget my basic spanish languageskills and will fail to express myself. I'm still thinking if I briefed everyone enough at work...
For sure while I'm away there will be an electricity power failure and my freezer will be ruined....Or like the OH says to me : " pfwew that head of yours is surely too full of thoughts "....
But no, it has never stopped me from going...
How do I deal with it ? Right now, because I don't seem to be able to sleep in anyway, having my morning coffee and enjoying the quietness of this sunday.
And like every time I leave, a visit or a telephone call to my close family. And in the afternoon a quiet drink with the OH in our favourite local pub.
Ad infinitum as they say in Latin....
is there anything better than blasting through self-imposed limitations?
Indeed...The top of that scary mountain....The biggest rush, a silent high...
Woo-ow. Beautiful, @LesBrass.
Bwahahaha...Introibo, that's brought a grin from ear to ear. Like my moment in the train but better.Good grief, says I,
that's a long way to have cycled, well done. I was genuinely impressed. He asked
me where I'd walked from. Erm.... Pamplona. A wave of panic swept over me.
What was I thinking ? Walking all that way. How would I get home? What would
my mam say ?
Weird isn't it?It's just too loony to contemplate. But when I did walk it, it felt like the most normal and natural thing to do.
"Voorpret"! I love that so much! I live for it!I like the jitters, to be honest. They make me feel alive. And the knowledge I am about to undertake something that I love to do only adds to the anticipation.
Anticipation is not really the right word for it: in dutch we have a word that describes my feelings better: voorpret. It literally translates as 'pre-fun'.
Good lord! You're not the horrible person - HE is! Imagine giving someone an ultimatum like that - that is abusive. IMO you could not be doing ANYTHING better or smarter for yourself than going on Camino. If this were a just world everyone would be required to just go on Camino for a couple of months after a break up or divorce or a death or a job loss. This is going to flatten out all your spiky alpha waves. Walking 10 - 15 miles a day will ensure deep, healing sleep. Your mind and body will grow stronger - and your spirit will too. Go and show yourself what you can do so that you refuse to ever allow another person to attempt such control over your life again!I'm scarred out of my mind. Not so much for the walk but what is going to happen in the ten-ish days before I leave. My partner has not been supportive of the walk and told me he didn't want me going. I bought my ticket two days ago and haven't told him yet. He has said that if I go he will leave me.
I fly out at the end of the month to spend some time in France before starting the Camino on April 18th (god willing). I wake up every morning knowing I have to tell him I'm going but I'm terrified. I'm even hiding my gear in the trunk of my car and he has no idea I've been walking 5-6 miles every day to prepare. Please send well wishes future friends. I know I'm a horrible person for not telling him but I also know that this is something I have to do.
Hehe good timing posting this Viranani! Universal jitters!
Tomorrow I leave for yet another Camino and I'm now officially very jittery.
I start my very first Camino on the 26th April in SJPdP....travels plans all done and bookings made up to Orrisson. I have packed and repacked, Read all the threads and talked to those who have gone before me. Each day I feel anxieties ...some days worse than others .....but not once have I thought about not going. I wake up each day having to take long deep breaths and remind myself that this is my journey, my pilgrimage, my time! And it's my very first journey completely on my own.....oh my nerves!On another thread right now there's a touching stream of support for a member who's a few months out from her planned walk--and beginning to feel 'the jitters' in a big way.
It's that time of year, when giddily made plans begin to take on an unnerving reality.
There's all that stuff in the spare room and the ticket in the starred email inbox list.
But it can feel like the theme of Jaws is playing in the background.
"What was I thinking!?" can be the the thought that the mind comes back to again and again.
And so I thought if we all came out with our own stories of pre-walk panic, it might make her (and the silent majority of beginners) feel a little less alone, and a little less crazy.
So for the welfare (and perhaps amusement) of us all...
How do you (did you?) experience pre-walk nerves? Has it ever stopped you from going? And how do you deal with it?
I have to confess that this isn't something that happens to me so much--and anyway the first time I walked I didn't know enough to be scared. When it can get to me is right before getting the ticket, and it shows up as massive procrastination so that there can be a lot of time pressure to just get the ticket. Once I have the ticket, the resistance dissolves and everything relaxes a bit. The resistance isn't about hitting the send button or spending the money--it's about taking the leap.
Absolutely nothing! As far as the Camino (and life) is concerned I tend to seek it out, because it's the growing edge of inner life. To constantly adjust one's life to avoid fear is enslavement. I'm very happy to be more of a free agent.What's wrong with the 'Jitters' or (a bit of) trembling ? or questioning ones steps/plans/ideas? Or being scared out of your socks?
oh thank you for posting those quotes - saw the second one. the first one is 'new to me'. love it.Absolutely nothing! As far as the Camino (and life) is concerned I tend to seek it out, because it's the growing edge of inner life. To constantly adjust one's life to avoid fear is enslavement. I'm very happy to be more of a free agent.
So I'm totally with you about facing fear, @amorfati1--and from the sound of it so are most people here. Our general cultural milieu? That's another story. An attitude of fearlessness around fear may well be what separates people who successfully walk a Camino from those who never try.
I posted one of these quotes by Georgia O'Keeffe on another thread the other day, but here it is again, with another~good advice and an inspiring vision!:
"It's not enough to be nice in life. You've got to have nerve.”
“I've been absolutely terrified every moment of my life and I've never let it keep me from doing a single thing that I wanted to do.”
Ditto with bells on! Buen camino everyone. Be astounded by what little tiny steps taken one after the other can achieve. Stand tall, head up and step out as strongly as you can and if you can't step out strongly just step out. You'll still get there! XXXBuen Camino to you all!
...and of course I read this in Morgan Freeman's voice."I find I'm so excited that I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it's the excitement only a free man can feel. A free man at a start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain."
Thank you for the advice and well wishes, V@twirl90 , take a deep breath--and before you do anything, please give yourself a break!
Waiting 2 days (or more) before having a seriously difficult conversation does NOT make you a horrible person.
A scared one maybe--and under the circumstances that'd be pretty normal.
That "It's either the Camino or me" ultimatum is ...is ...is.......I can't find words. Terrible.
So yes. You'll have to have that horrible conversation. And soon--not for your partner's sake but for you, so you can say your piece, stand your ground and take care of yourself. Who knows--he may suspect something, which may make your life marginally easier.
After that, there is only the walk. Which by comparison will be pretty straightforward.
All blessings to you for a buen camino, and sending heartfelt well-wishes for the next days.
Please take care of yourself and let us know how you go.
Taken day by day it actually isn't so different. The days add up, is all.it is not just some walk in the park vacation.
Walking long distances is a return to the old way of getting from place to place--and it's what our bodies are well adapted to doing--our ancestors walked from Africa all over the globe, without hi-tech clothes or equipment.. So it's something we can do more easily than we might imagine, coming from our prisons of motorized transportation.doing this is outside the norm (at least in America)
@Viranani I know everyone has a story and I'm just like everyone else but my childhood was tough, my father was a brute and I was raised to never get above my station, not to dream, not to ever believe that good things can happen.
As a child my sanctuary was our local church... I found that if I joined every club and choir I could be out every night of the week... and our vicar had a huge family and (maybe because he'd figured things out) he welcomed me into the fold.
The scars we carry from childhood are chains... and honestly (I have a big far tear rolling down my cheek right now) walking that first camino really did teach me that I can dream.. and I can fly... my husband has been telling me for years... but actually doing it... well it was life changing for me.
You're welcome, @twirl90 . Take care--and buen camino.Thank you for the advice and well wishes, V
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