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Cigarette butts and snap decisions

Time of past OR future Camino
Next Camino Ingles Ferrol
Morning all,

I’m slightly contemplative this morning.

Having made peace with the decision to walk the Camino in a few weeks and discovering that I’m no longer afraid of being alone on the road or scared at the prospect of walking in solitude.

I’ve done a 20k walk last weekend, alone, it was glorious. Realised that a friend had also moved to where I ended up so had a lovely impromptu reunion.

Fast forward to now, doing more walks with gear that I have to see if it will work for the trip. My shoes are a little too small to be used with my socks, but then I bought thinner hiking socks. Trying that out, might just work!

Took a 30l ice climbing pack, fits great but the padding on the hip straps are just a little out of place. Found removable hip padding off another pack I have, seems to do the trick!

All in all, I might just be able to get away with the gear I own. Very pleased as that is what I had hoped to be able to do.

So anyway, onto this week. I made a snap decision to resign from work. It’s a long story but the bottom line is the culture is difficult to work with. I had realised that and handed in my notice at the start of 2020. I was given the opportunity to rescind that when Covid hit. My role is very much back office support for the organisation so I was well utilised that year, for the London office as well as offices internationally.

Anyway, my decision came about because the values of the organisation, does not reflect my values, nor does it reflect the written values of the company. I can’t reconcile that within myself. I walked and walked and decided that I needed to let go.

I headed off to Waterloo to catch a train to Kew, on the way I messaged an ex-colleague to tell him the news. In my preoccupied state I dropped a cigarette butt at the entrance to the station and was called back for an on the spot fine. Totally my fault, just annoyed at the timing. Trying not to feel like the universe is out to get me.

Then in my rush to get as far away from this as possible I booked the wrong train ticket. Kew to London rather than London to Kew. Hard not to judge myself now as that was completely me not paying attention to what I was doing.

Decided to walk from here to Kew then come back by train. It will mean I don’t waste the ticket, I feel like I cannot throw money away at this point, a littering fine is £100

So now as I am about to walk for the second day in a row, to make sure all my gear and my feet can cope with the Camino, I’m wondering what I will do with my freedom?

Thanks for getting this far. Writing into the ether has a beautiful affect of lightening the load. I feel unburdened at the enormity of my decision. I’m hopeful that things will pan out and that I will end up where I am meant to be.

Have a wonderful day all.
Fi
My view as I write this
 
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€2,-/day will present your project to thousands of visitors each day. All interested in the Camino de Santiago.
I hope you made it on to the camino and away from the big smoke. (London)
 

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