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Suzanne:I walked the Camino last summer when I was fifteen with my dad. In my opinion you shouldn't have conversation planned out, it kind of just comes. My dad and I never really talked to each other before hand but on the Camino, I think we both learned so much about each other that we never knew before. We're as thick as thieves ( god that sounds so corny)
Conversation just comes on the Camino whether you want it to or not. But if all else fails just talk about what you expect your Camino to be like that always got me talking
Suzanne:
I totally agree with you that I don't want to make this into an interview. But I also realize that sometimes, you don't know how to start a conversation and so you both are just there in silence. Of course that is part of the Camino, but, I have found that sometimes asking a question the right way, makes all the difference.
I am not very good at that and wanted some ideas from people like you that may be more open ended questions to get things started.
But you are right that it will come whether we want it on not.
What for you was the one thing that you least expected on the Camino?
What was the hardest part for you?
Thanks.
Rambler
Koi:I walked last summer for six weeks with my 15 year old son. @Suzanne O' Mahony is right that the conversation can't be planned. You have a huge advantage in the adventure itself; just walking together forms a bond. You might let him help plan stages and identify areas, points of interest, or activities that might interest him.
The time together was priceless for our relationship. The Camino isn't magic, but it was a huge gift to our relationship just the same.
Enjoy this time with your son!
Dozer:FYI, I walk out of Pamplona mid-day on June 4th. If our paths cross and you are still searching for things to talk to your son about, you can always ask him "what do you think is up with that nut job".
When will you be walking?
Suzanne
Will do. Thanks for the insights.Rambler,
Just a quick thing and I doubt you will do this; but don't 'mammy' him. Let him walk ahead of you or behind. Let him be in control of some things. It will make him appreciate it all more. Treat him as a Peregrino
We plan to start on the 2nd. I learned from my first Camino that if you rush the start, you pay for it in a few days. So we are taking Sunday to acclimatize, jetlag, and tour St Jean. Then we are off to Roncevalles the next day.Don't know if that is day you start or not until the 1st. If the 1st and you are stopping in Orison, our paths will very likely cross at some point soon after Pamplona.
Suzanne is right. Give him his space.Firstly, respect to Suzanne!
asked him where his dad was and he replied "Dunno, but we're meeting in Ave Fenix". I then asked if they had fallen out and got the following reply: "shit no man, like, these days we trust each other".
J I 14:...I could have done this Camino thing easy." Not so ..........
Ah you know, on the Camino you never come back the same personSuzanne you have great wisdom for a sixteen yr old. The Camino has obviously had a great and positive effect on you.
I couldn't agree more. My son struggled with tendinitis (arguably because he refused to listen to what I had to teach about proper climbing and descending technique, so he over stressed his knees in the process). In many respects it was the classic case of youthful exuberance not knowing how to pace itself for a marathon rather than a sprint, and nothing I could say would change his approach until he learned the lesson the hard way. Suddenly, he recognized my advice as a necessity for his own well being. Just the other day, I overheard him in the other room saying to our middle son, who is making his camino in 2015, "You'll be surprised at just how much Dad knows. If he gives you advice, listen to it." My wife and I just smiled at each other, and my heart swelled with pride for him.I don't want to take away from what is in your heart for your son but having just gone through this with my 22 year old daughter last year I am compelled to to respond. We all think "boy when I was young I could have done this Camino thing easy." Not so .......... if you are not use to walking long distances this journey is a physical shocker. You might consider how you are going to deal with the stress he will be under - which in my opinion made the relationship with my daughter stronger than ever. We went through a sort of a emotional cycle where she was mad at me for putting her through this - all way to tears of joy for completing it. The Camino didn't make parenting easier in my opinion it made it better. To this day we still struggle to communicate but we always have this bond now ........ which I think made the entire experience worth it. Enjoy and have fun !
That was exactly my experience, and much of his growth was organic in the very process of struggling and triumphing against the Camino itself. My growth was in giving him the space to learn on his own, without pulling so far back that he failed altogether and gave up.As parents, I think we often forget to talk to our kids in a way to get them to open up. That really is the reason for this thread. We are always feeling like we need to motivate, counsel, preach, or remind them on all those subjects that are going to be so important for them in the future. But we don't often ask the questions that others, often outside the family, may bring up that open a whole different part of our children up that we did not know.
We tend to not ask open ended questions and go to the same well worn paths that we have been down so many times. I don't want to do that, and especially with him, it is easy to do.
I'm so very sorry for your loss, Lisa. I hope the Camino provides you with lasting solace.Dear Rambler,
ENJOY IT,
Enjoy every blessed second of it.
Embrace all of his immaturity and goofiness and teenage moments.
Love his incredible appetite and newly deep loud voice.
Love the stinky feet and bad jokes and worse music.
PLEASE< please.
TRUST me.
I hesitate to answer your question honestly, but feel compelled to do so. Forgive me...
For many years, my almost 17 year old son and I (see Avatar) had the blessed opportunity to travel together all over the world, mostly on Cruise ships (long story.) Usually these trips were 2-3 weeks with lots of activities. By far, our favorites were always the transatlantics when we were together for 7-9 days at a time before the crazy port- a- day part of the trip--which then became a special extension of our time. I also homeschool Trey and my two younger daughters. So we already had lots of time together. Me always pushing him. Sometimes too hard.
Anyway....last year we had a chance to spend many long days together. We realized we had been to Rome and Isreal, but not yet Santiago de Compestela which we had learned about while travelling on the Costa del Sol, and began planning our trip. Sadly, the reason we were together was that Trey was in the hospital and on the ninth day he had a pulmonary embolism and after fighting bravely for six hours, my sweet boy died.
Yesterday was the one year anniversary of the beginning of hell for us. I have been considering walking the Camino myself, alone. and just found this forum. This is my first post. Part of the issue is that because of MY health reasons, Trey said he would carry my pack...God bless him. Now that he is gone, I will have to find another way.
So my most humble advice is to get on your knees and thank God for every moment you have with your son on and off the Camino. Every day.
Sincerely,
Lisa
Forgive me for bringing such drama to your thread. Here is a picture of us in St. Petersbug.
Dear Rambler,
ENJOY IT,
Enjoy every blessed second of it.
Embrace all of his immaturity and goofiness and teenage moments.
Love his incredible appetite and newly deep loud voice.
Love the stinky feet and bad jokes and worse music.
PLEASE< please.
TRUST me.
I hesitate to answer your question honestly, but feel compelled to do so. Forgive me...
For many years, my almost 17 year old son and I (see Avatar) had the blessed opportunity to travel together all over the world, mostly on Cruise ships (long story.) Usually these trips were 2-3 weeks with lots of activities. By far, our favorites were always the transatlantics when we were together for 7-9 days at a time before the crazy port- a- day part of the trip--which then became a special extension of our time. I also homeschool Trey and my two younger daughters. So we already had lots of time together. Me always pushing him. Sometimes too hard.
Anyway....last year we had a chance to spend many long days together. We realized we had been to Rome and Isreal, but not yet Santiago de Compestela which we had learned about while travelling on the Costa del Sol, and began planning our trip. Sadly, the reason we were together was that Trey was in the hospital and on the ninth day he had a pulmonary embolism and after fighting bravely for six hours, my sweet boy died.
Yesterday was the one year anniversary of the beginning of hell for us. I have been considering walking the Camino myself, alone. and just found this forum. This is my first post. Part of the issue is that because of MY health reasons, Trey said he would carry my pack...God bless him. Now that he is gone, I will have to find another way.
So my most humble advice is to get on your knees and thank God for every moment you have with your son on and off the Camino. Every day.
Sincerely,
Lisa
Forgive me for bringing such drama to your thread. Here is a picture of us in St. Petersbug.
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