- Time of past OR future Camino
- Frances SJPP to SdC Oct/Nov 2015
Frances Burgos toSdC March/April 2016
W. Highland Way August 2016
Camino Somewhere September 2017
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Not to make light of your situation but I've loved all of your post since you became a Forum member.
After the death of my father while on vacation in France with my daughter in 2007 we jointly deciding to continue our trip for 2 more weeks. Then the untimely death of my daughter came several years later.
I am reminded of the Beatles famous words: ".....Ob-la-di, ob-la-da, life goes on,....."
Exactly.It's best to just let her be.
@Viranani --In past years, I would have called the cruel daughter, and begged her to come to her father's bedside. Now that I'm older, I have taken a different approach. You just can't whitewash a black fence in one go.
There is no way that phoning her would have helped. She would have gotten furious at me, and further sidetracked. It's best to just let her be.
Your equanimity at this distressing time is a gift to us all - and to yourself. It means that you will hold no regrets from how you behaved during a time that makes embarassments of many.
Volunteering in hospices and aged care/dementia homes for many years means that I have witnessed some truly awful behaviours by family and friends.
I've also seen amazing instances of kindness, forgiveness and understanding as well.
Hold strong. Grieve when you have to, rage to an understanding friend if you need to but keep that marvellous gentle perspective and you'll see the journey through.
Thank you. I too can behave poorly, but my poor behavior is never, ever aimed at the weak and dying, and I have a very strong sense of loyalty toward family.
Dear Deb:Thank you. I too can behave poorly, but my poor behavior is never, ever aimed at the weak and dying, and I have a very strong sense of loyalty toward family.
Debra
Sorry for your loss.
Respectfully...
Is it your sense of Honor that is driving the anger to a degree?
That this person should treat a loved one
One so close to you that your heart breaks
Has done a dishonorable act toward them?
Let them burn in their own purgatory
Let those fires cleanse the dross
Yours is to walk with sadness for the proper time..and distance
Then you will lay it aside one day.
And smile in the Sun
Her faults are not yours to carry
Her acts are hers alone.
The world has seen her qualitys and will judge them so.
We..have seen your Stirling Soul
And rejoice in your company
Welcome the entrance of our Deb
Raise a glass at your entry
And smile at the thought.
Let yours be the emerald fields beside the roads
Let yours be the sound of laughter from yon lit window
Let yours be the whispered name in winds near and far
Let yours be the circle yet closed
Let yours be the River of Stars sprung from youthfilled breast
Let yours be poetry,songs and wine
Let yours be sure steps upon any road
Let yours be unclouded eyes on far horizons
Let yours be Forever Green,Forever Strong
Forever Young.
As for the rest?
Leave them behind on the Way.
Be Blessed
Your words are incredible !My stepdad died today.
My family is so intertwined with people who aren't blood related with me, but who have become my family through marriage or love.
Wayne married Mom in 2001. I knew they were ecstatic to have found each other. They "got" each other's senses of humor. My mom glowed--glowed!--around him. She suddenly loved baseball; never had she loved baseball. She suddenly wore his company t shirts; Mom had never worn t shirts. She couldn't get a sentence out that didn't have his name in it, what he liked, what he wanted to do, what he had bought her or cooked for her.
She died in 2011, and left Wayne behind. I'll never forget her giving him advice: get married again! I have a list of potential girlfriends! You are lovable! Don't you dare stay single! She loved him that much.
He remarried Patricia, and I fell in love with her too. Feeling Mom's loss was easier knowing that my stepdad had a companion again.
But today he died, at 3 PM. All the hard things, the old good habits. I bought groceries for Grandma, his 98-year-old mom. Can you imagine, losing your only son? He's 78, you're 98? So not right. Heartbreaking to see her petting his forehead, as he lay dying.
I did the old habits, the writing of the obituary. Then I drove home.
And creeping out of nowhere: be in the moment. Enjoy this time, now. Right now. Look at those clouds. Wow, just like Spain! The new habits of the Camino. What would Vira advise? Could I ever do the prolonged sitting of a Buddhist practitioner? And two of my good friends on the forum have shared so much about their losses. We are all going through this together. These--my friends--are new thought habits, created and born while doing Camino Frances.
The moral of the story: the practice of God-walking is a healthy, helpful and mindful practice. I'm so glad I can fall back onto that pillow when hard times come.
Buen Camino---
Debra.I am so honored by you. Thank you, prophetic advisor poet.
Deb
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