Some folks just really don't get it ....

[MichaelC]

Here's a conversation I just had with some of my family that caught me totally off guard - and I'm willing to bet I'm not the only one who's had this!

The relative: Are you really planning on walking again?
Me: Definitely. It was a special time. I really want to walk again.
Relative: Let me know. I'd love to go with you.
Me: That would be amazing. (Thinking: I needed to walk alone the first time, but I would love to walk with family a second time). I'm thinking about doing a couple weeks on the Via Francigena in Italy soon ...
Sister: I'm in!
Cousin: I'm in!
Brother: I'm in!

So I put together some potential plans, and presented it to them.

Sister: You mean we walk every single day?
Cousin: You mean we would walk for two weeks???
Brother: I could join you for a day ...

And I think: what exactly did they think I was doing for three months last year???

 

[Robo]

Here's a conversation I just had with some of my family that caught me totally off guard - and I'm willing to bet I'm not the only one who's had this!

The relative: Are you really planning on walking again?
Me: Definitely. It was a special time. I really want to walk again.
Relative: Let me know. I'd love to go with you.
Me: That would be amazing. (Thinking: I needed to walk alone the first time, but I would love to walk with family a second time). I'm thinking about doing a couple weeks on the Via Francigena in Italy soon ...
Sister: I'm in!
Cousin: I'm in!
Brother: I'm in!

So I put together some potential plans, and presented it to them.

Sister: You mean we walk every single day?
Cousin: You mean we would walk for two weeks???
Brother: I could join you for a day ...

And I think: what exactly did they think I was doing for three months last year???

Always better on your own I think

 

[alaskadiver]

Yeup. 3 coworkers said they wanted to walk in 2019. So they dragged me to dinner and asjed nme to tell them about planning and details. None of them has ever hiked in their lives and all were out of shape and overweight. So I started by emphasizing that they needed to change some things in their lives and start working out.
Here we are 6 months later and not one of them has made any plans. But they keep “talking” about it.

Lol!

 

[Robo]

Yeup. 3 coworkers said they wanted to walk in 2019. So they dragged me to dinner and Gad je tell them about planning and details. None of them ever hiked in their lives and all were out of shape and overweight. So I started by emphasizing that they needed to change some things in their lives and start working out.
Here we are 6 months later and not one of them has made any plans. But they keep “talking” about it.

Lol!

As with all things in life. there is Talk and there is Do

Or as one little guru put it, a few years ago.........

"Do or Do Not, there is no Try"

 

[alaskadiver]

As with all things in life. there is Talk and there is Do

I am disappointed for them. They seemed so sincere and the spiritual aspect really resonated with them. They were never going to walk with my husband and me, but I had hoped they’d at least try a short Camino on their own. I gave them short easy options. Oh well.

 

[tomnorth]

Funny, I’ve only had one person express sincere interest in walking. Most just think it’s crazy and something they’d never want to do.

 

[Robo]

I am disappointed for them. They seemed so sincere and the spiritual aspect really resonated with them. They were never going to walk with my husband and me, but I had hoped they’d at least try a short Camino on their own. I gave them short easy options. Oh well.

Some people just want to jump in head first like many of us here.
Maybe we felt a 'calling'.

For those who feel less 'compelled' to go, maybe they need a small 'taster'?
My wife Pat did that. We walked a short section over the cruz de ferro, dropped in on a couple of places like Molineseca, O Cebriero and Samos, and then started walking from Sarria.

It was slow and steady and by the time we got to Santiago she loved it.
And 2 years later walked she from St Jean.

Perhaps for some, the thought of walking hundreds of kms and walking day after day for weeks on end is a bit scary ?

 

[KinkyOne]

Funny, I’ve only had one person express sincere interest in walking. Most just think it’s crazy and something they’d never want to do.

I really hope s/he will eventually go for it.

I have this experience which actually isn't experience but I can't persuade my mom to go and continue the CF from Logrono where we stopped in 2009 due to my injury. OK, there's care for my father but she is saying even apart from that she would not go. I mean she would, but in next minute she wouldn't. What to do...


PS (Maybe some longtime forum members remember my story about that but I have absolutely no intention of forcing my mom walking the Camino. She is seasoned yes, but she's also seasoned mountaineer and she did enjoy Camino for that short stretch from SJPdP to Logrono immensely. It's not my whim at all...)

 

[David]

My 'potential' future Camino friends all say "I would really like to do it some day" - some day being the key ....

... but, just the thought of joyriders jumping on to my next Camino?? I shudder, I really do!

 

[Paladina]

Be patient with the non starters. Some seeds need a period of winter dormancy before they germinate, and winter can last a long time.

 

[Deleted member 73526]

I put together some potential plans, and presented it to them.

Sister: You mean we walk every single day?
Cousin: You mean we would walk for two weeks???
Brother: I could join you for a day ...

And I think: what exactly did they think I was doing for three months last year???

I'd be happy for a sibling or parent to join me for a day of a Camino. I'd be careful to choose a stage where the walk would be pleasant and not too long for them. The thought of adjusting my pace and preferences to walk with them for a week or more doesn't appeal. Perhaps you could coordinate dates to have a family member (or members) join you for a short day of walking, and then let them go do the touristy things that interest them in whatever city or region you choose, while you continue to walk?

 

[seashell]

A close friend and his wife joined us en route at Leon and walked with us for three days leaving us near Rabanal. They enjoyed the experience more than they expected and are I think, intending to join us on the short Mozarabe from Almeria to Grenada in March and possibly even walking with us on the Frances in the summer from SJPDP. From small acorns oak trees do indeed grow

 

[t2andreo]

As with all things in life. there is Talk and there is Do

Or as one little guru put it, a few years ago.........

"Do or Do Not, there is no Try"

Ah, a Yoda reference... Loved it!

 

[DonnaS18]

Yeup. 3 coworkers said they wanted to walk in 2019. So they dragged me to dinner and asjed nme to tell them about planning and details. None of them has ever hiked in their lives and all were out of shape and overweight. So I started by emphasizing that they needed to change some things in their lives and start working out.
Here we are 6 months later and not one of them has made any plans. But they keep “talking” about it.

Lol!

Hmmm don’t be too quick to judge. When planning for my first Camino I read on the net that 90% of people never train at all. I Kinda wish I’d never read that.
I trained 1x week for 8 Weeks before leaving, with my longest walk being 2.5 hrs wearing a waterpack.
My first day on the Camino I walked 24k with a 7kg pack. Over the 16 days I walked between 16-32 k /day. I’d never walked before and am about 8kgs overweight. I got one blister, one black toenail and I found up to 22ks easy, up to 32ks was a little taxing. It took me 5 days to get comfortably into stride. On The Way I met a very walk experienced fit lady in her 60’s who comfortably walked 32-36k/day. She said it always takes her the first week to “adjust” wherever she walks.
So don’t discount your friends for not training to your method, Providing they have a good attitude not training won’t be an issue.

 

[David Tallan]

In general, most who are attracted don't talk about doing it with me some day but that it would be nice to do. A much more abstractly expressed desire. There were two exceptions.

About five years ago, I started talking about walking the Camino when I retired. My fourteen year old son said he would like to do it with me. I had promised him a trip with me when he was sixteen. He suggested walking the Camino then and walked the whole way with me to Finisterre in 2016.

After I got back, I wrote an article about the experience in the newsletter at work. I did get an interesting response from one person. Not the usual "I'd like to do that some day" but "You mean you are allowed to take rest days and don't have to walk the Brierly stages exactly as written?". She had started walking the Camino but had pushed herself too hard and had to stop at Leon due to medical issues. She talked about trying again sometime, with this new knowledge, if she could get the time off work.

 

[DonnaS18]

My 'potential' future Camino friends all say "I would really like to do it some day" - some day being the key ....

... but, just the thought of joyriders jumping on to my next Camino?? I shudder, I really do!

I really get that. Half the fun for me is being solo.

 

[DonnaS18]

In general, most who are attracted don't talk about doing it with me some day but that it would be nice to do. A much more abstractly expressed desire. There were two exceptions.

About five years ago, I started talking about walking the Camino when I retired. My fourteen year old son said he would like to do it with me. I had promised him a trip with me when he was sixteen. He suggested walking the Camino then and walked the whole way with me to Finisterre in 2016.

After I got back, I wrote an article about the experience in the newsletter at work. I did get an interesting response from one person. Not the usual "I'd like to do that some day" but "You mean you are allowed to take rest days and don't have to walk the Brierly stages exactly as written?". She had started walking the Camino but had pushed herself too hard and had to stop at Leon due to medical issues. She talked about trying again sometime, with this new knowledge, if she could get the time off work.

Wow that’s kind of sad - she was beating to another drummer.

 

[Bradypus]

Wow that’s kind of sad - she was beating to another drummer.

Sadly not that uncommon. Many people walking the Caminos have little previous experience of long-distance walking and lack the experience or confidence to plan their own stages. As it is the most popular English-language guide they often assume that Brierley's stages are the norm and manageable for a newcomer. I have met a number of people who struggled with them but had already committed themselves to Brierley's stages by pre-booking accommodation and their travel home.

 

[David Tallan]

I thought so, too. I told her that if she didn't think she could get a long enough vacation to walk the whole thing again, she could also consider picking up from Leon where she left off with her new knowledge and completing her Camino.

 

[Felipe]

After my first Camino I talked about my experiences to many relatives and friends. The answers were varied. Most people were just polite listeners, with variations of "congrats, good for you"; a few expressed a mild interest, and a few seemed interested, asked for more info, how it was, etc. None of them have actually gone....so far.
I think that the Camino is not for everybody, and probably not for every moment of life. And remember, not everybody has the privilege of many weeks’ vacation, or can let easily their familiar or professional responsibilities. I, actually, thought about going for many years, first as just a vague interest, then a more serious intention, until finally my resolution and personal circumstances were right.
And who knows? Maybe this friend, this happy and sedentary couch potato, will surprise us next year with a photo in O Cebreiro.
.

 

[Michael-FL]

MichaelC: I can relate, but don’t let it bring you down. Having walked the CPortugues last year and shared my stories with family and friends, there are some who have expressed walking the CF/Salvador/Primitivo with me in the holy year 2021. I don’t fully expect all to follow through. Since for me at least, the Camino is a deeply personal, spiritual experience, for which some may feel “called”, I’ve come to believe that they may walk it someday, perhaps not on my time, but in their time and in God’s time. Anything else, and it would be forced, or simply not the right time. Last year I walked solo, but met some really beautiful, fascinating, wonderful people on the Way. So, in a sense, no one is truly lonely on the Camino, unless they choose to be. If my family members and friends actually join me in ‘21, great; if not, then that’s OK too.

 

[Nanc]

let's just accept that the reasons, the joy, the satisfaction/ peace/ connection we all have found in our Caminos is not meant for every one
Like pushing love and marriage because we are so happy, or the latest book or ... we were called or found ourselves on the Way, but not every one has to find THEIR way on The Way

people can be pulled into our excitement especially if they have not found their own solution. It is temping to try and suck that energy up from someone else who has the passion and drive. But as we know, someone's energy will not sustain someone else

My suggestion? Let it be. They may not be mentally ready. They may not really want this at all even if it sounds good. And we may be trying to convince them of a Camino when their path is meant to be somewhere else
Nanc

 

[tomnorth]

Sadly not that uncommon. Many people walking the Caminos have little previous experience of long-distance walking and lack the experience or confidence to plan their own stages. As it is the most popular English-language guide they often assume that Brierley's stages are the norm and manageable for a newcomer. I have met a number of people who struggled with them but had already committed themselves to Brierley's stages by pre-booking accommodation and their travel home.

I found some of the best etapes were in non-Brierley villages. I learned to avoid Brierley stops wherever possible.

 

[gittiharre]

Seems like I have been lucky with others. My first 2 Caminos, Frances and Austria were solo, then my husband walked with me in the Czech Republic and the entire Le Puy route.
Another friend, first time pilgrim joined me for parts of the Via Regia, Jacobi, Madrid route and Le Puy Route and another friend again, also first time pilgrim walked the Via Baltica/scandinavica and Porto to Muxia with me. My stepson and his partner joined me on the Salvador this year. All without a hitch. I was so relieved, as it is always a bit of a risk setting off with another person.

 

[Simon B]

Here's a conversation I just had with some of my family that caught me totally off guard - and I'm willing to bet I'm not the only one who's had this!

The relative: Are you really planning on walking again?
Me: Definitely. It was a special time. I really want to walk again.
Relative: Let me know. I'd love to go with you.
Me: That would be amazing. (Thinking: I needed to walk alone the first time, but I would love to walk with family a second time). I'm thinking about doing a couple weeks on the Via Francigena in Italy soon ...
Sister: I'm in!
Cousin: I'm in!
Brother: I'm in!

So I put together some potential plans, and presented it to them.

Sister: You mean we walk every single day?
Cousin: You mean we would walk for two weeks???
Brother: I could join you for a day ...

And I think: what exactly did they think I was doing for three months last year???

I always explain that the only way to walk a Camino is on your own - I need to walk at my own pace and not have the distraction of being responsible for somebody apart from me. Obviously I will offer assistance to other Pilgrims if needed but on the whole walking alone is best as in reality on the Camino you are never alone.

 

[alaskadiver]

Hmmm don’t be too quick to judge. When planning for my first Camino I read on the net that 90% of people never train at all. I Kinda wish I’d never read that.
I trained 1x week for 8 Weeks before leaving, with my longest walk being 2.5 hrs wearing a waterpack.
My first day on the Camino I walked 24k with a 7kg pack. Over the 16 days I walked between 16-32 k /day. I’d never walked before and am about 8kgs overweight. I got one blister, one black toenail and I found up to 22ks easy, up to 32ks was a little taxing. It took me 5 days to get comfortably into stride. On The Way I met a very walk experienced fit lady in her 60’s who comfortably walked 32-36k/day. She said it always takes her the first week to “adjust” wherever she walks.
So don’t discount your friends for not training to your method, Providing they have a good attitude not training won’t be an issue.

You misunderstand. I wasn't judging them. It was an assessment based on knowledge. They just haven't done anything to plan and aren't going to actually go. And for them, yes, training is a big issue. You just don't have all the facts. The point is, many people say they want to walk and then realize how hard it is and don't get any further than just talking.

 

[Kiwi-family]

I’ll join @gittiharre providing encouragement for walking with others. When I did the VdlP with my four youngest kids we decided Daddy and Grandpa would join us for two weeks. Then an uncle said he wanted to come at that time too. I love him but he rarks the kids up like nothing else and never knows when to stop even though he’s the adult;-) so I was apprehensive. Oh, and he’s a real bouncy chatty extrovert which I find a bit tiring. Two weeks of this? I’m so glad we did it! By the second day he started walking alone a lot of the time, loving the silence. He was still fun but his relationship with the kids changed/matured. It was a really special time in the end.

 

[HeidiL]

My 22-year-old son, who has been walking with my husband and me since he was 8, walked Via Augusta with me in December. He is still planning to walk Inglés + Finisterre with us at Easter.

He is currently planning to take his girlfriend walking NEXT Easter - I think probably Francés from Astorga, so she will get a Compostela.

I think walking together is an excellent test for a relationship, and wish them good luck.

 

[MichaelC]

MichaelC: I can relate, but don’t let it bring you down. ... If my family members and friends actually join me in ‘21, great; if not, then that’s OK too.

I'm going to be bummed just a little bit, because I genuinely believe a camino would speak to them, and the twist to the story is: we decided to walk the Tour du Mont Blanc as a family instead. And that will be incredible. But I'm also bemused that they don't balk at an 11-day backpacking trip in the Alps, but that they were intimidated by the unknown of a "camino." I have a couple theories on why this is, but it'll be a long digression & I might make another thread on that.

I am disappointed for them. They seemed so sincere and the spiritual aspect really resonated with them. They were never going to walk with my husband and me, but I had hoped they’d at least try a short Camino on their own. I gave them short easy options. Oh well.

I can relate to this. I have certain friends who I feel would really relate to the Camino. Others who have a deep desire to walk but are intimidated. I try to give gentle support, and share stories about the wide variety of people I met. I hope some of them walk one day. But also ...

My 'potential' future Camino friends all say "I would really like to do it some day" - some day being the key ....

... but, just the thought of joyriders jumping on to my next Camino?? I shudder, I really do!

I've got those friends too! More of them than the spiritual kind, really. If I were to organize everything, and play team leader, I could rally an easy dozen to join me. And I genuinely like planning adventure vacations, and have friends who've followed me to jungles, mountains, and deserts ... but I also shudder at the idea of being any kind of team leader on a Camino*. It just doesn't feel right to me.

Always better on your own I think

Yeah. That'll be the plan when I venture out onto a pilgrim trail again!

*edit: unless it were my paying job - then I'd jump at the chance!!!

 

[tomnorth]

I'm going to be bummed just a little bit, because I genuinely believe a camino would speak to them, and the twist to the story is: we decided to walk the Tour du Mont Blanc as a family instead. And that will be incredible. But I'm also bemused that they don't balk at an 11-day backpacking trip in the Alps, but that they were intimidated by the unknown of a "camino." I have a couple theories on why this is, but it'll be a long digression & I might make another thread on that.

I can relate to this. I have certain friends who I feel would really relate to the Camino. Others who have a deep desire to walk but are intimidated. I try to give gentle support, and share stories about the wide variety of people I met. I hope some of them walk one day. But also ...

I've got those friends too! More of them than the spiritual kind, really. If I were to organize everything, and play team leader, I could rally an easy dozen to join me. And I genuinely like planning adventure vacations, and have friends who've followed me to jungles, mountains, and deserts ... but I also shudder at the idea of being any kind of team leader on a Camino*. It just doesn't feel right to me.

Yeah. That'll be the plan when I venture out onto a pilgrim trail again!

*edit: unless it were my paying job - then I'd jump at the chance!!!

Sleeping in albergues was one of the biggest "stepping outside my comfort zone" experiences for me on my Camino. Prior to my Camino, I'd never slept a night in a hostel of any sort, and the only experiences I'd had sleeping in bunks in a room with many other people hadn't gone so well. In retrospect, I'm so glad I stayed in albergues. All the close relationships I formed came from meeting people at albergues. My biggest fear in walking the Camino was that I'd be lonely. Staying in albergues helped ensure that that fear was never realized. That is hard to explain to people.

 

[Robo]

let's just accept that the reasons, the joy, the satisfaction/ peace/ connection we all have found in our Caminos is not meant for every one
Like pushing love and marriage because we are so happy, or the latest book or ... we were called or found ourselves on the Way, but not every one has to find THEIR way on The Way

people can be pulled into our excitement especially if they have not found their own solution. It is temping to try and suck that energy up from someone else who has the passion and drive. But as we know, someone's energy will not sustain someone else

My suggestion? Let it be. They may not be mentally ready. They may not really want this at all even if it sounds good. And we may be trying to convince them of a Camino when their path is meant to be somewhere else
Nanc

How very true.
I had never heard of the Camino until I watched 'that' movie.
Then I felt I had to go.
It was the emotional and spiritual aspect that drew me in.
And whilst that was 'only' a movie, the whole experience for me that first time, was very similar.

I think if people are not 'drawn' to it it some way, it will be hard for them to imagine what it will be like, and why they might enjoy the experience.

During summer, I see the beaches packed with people.
I just don't get it............
People actually go on holidays for weeks at a time, to sit on a beach
Go figure.............. I'd be bored senseless. (and Yes I've tried it)

It's funny, but people assume I must love bush walking back here in Australia.
Not really.
I do a short circuit near our home when Camino training, that's all.

Then they say, "But you must really enjoy walking"
And my response is generally something like..........
The Camino really isn't about walking.............

Maybe that's the 'disconnect' that many potential Pilgrims have.
That stops them trying it.
They think it's all about a long walk ........

 

[DonnaS18]

How very true.
I had never heard of the Camino until I watched 'that' movie.
Then I felt I had to go.
It was the emotional and spiritual aspect that drew me in.
And whilst that was 'only' a movie, the whole experience for that first time was very similar.

I think if people are not 'drawn' to it it some way, it will be hard for them to imagine what it will be like and why they might enjoy the experience.

During summer, I see the beaches packed with people.
I just don't get it............
People actually go on holidays for weeks at a time, to sit on a beach
Go figure.............. I'd be bored senseless. (and Yes I've tried it)

It's funny, but people assume I must love bush walking back here in Australia.
Not really.
I do a short circuit near our home when Camino training, that's all.

Then they say, "But you must really enjoy walking"
And my response is generally something like..........
The Camino really isn't about walking.............

Maybe that's the 'disconnect' that many potential Pilgrims have. That stops them trying it.
They think it's all about a long walk ........

 

[SeaHorse]

Yeup. 3 coworkers said they wanted to walk in 2019. So they dragged me to dinner and asjed nme to tell them about planning and details. None of them has ever hiked in their lives and all were out of shape and overweight. So I started by emphasizing that they needed to change some things in their lives and start working out.
Here we are 6 months later and not one of them has made any plans. But they keep “talking” about it.

Lol!

It took me 4 years from getting to know about Camino to actually doing it. I'm sure I was a pain in the backside for many friends and family pestering them for info and my achievements in preparation.

 

[Richard Smith]

This might be the first seed, and with the Camino many more will appear in their lives. They may make the choice or stay where they are.
This is what happened to me. When people ask why did you walk or how did you hear about it, the best answer is something like it started popping up gradually in my life - in various forms.

 

[Richmond Gardner]

Always better on your own I think

Yup, every complication becomes a distraction. Find your “family” where you encounter them, and then walk with or without them.

 

[annie.perso]

Funny, I’ve only had one person express sincere interest in walking. Most just think it’s crazy and something they’d never want to do.

Most people around me say that I am courageous because I walked everyday from Sept 28th to Nov 5th (a couple of stages in France + the Francés). I keep telling them I'm not courageous, but LUCKY.

 

[Jackieduda]

Here's a conversation I just had with some of my family that caught me totally off guard - and I'm willing to bet I'm not the only one who's had this!

The relative: Are you really planning on walking again?
Me: Definitely. It was a special time. I really want to walk again.
Relative: Let me know. I'd love to go with you.
Me: That would be amazing. (Thinking: I needed to walk alone the first time, but I would love to walk with family a second time). I'm thinking about doing a couple weeks on the Via Francigena in Italy soon ...
Sister: I'm in!
Cousin: I'm in!
Brother: I'm in!

So I put together some potential plans, and presented it to them.

Sister: You mean we walk every single day?
Cousin: You mean we would walk for two weeks???
Brother: I could join you for a day ...

And I think: what exactly did they think I was doing for three months last year???

Yes, i had that experience! Planned my camino only because two good friends agreed to be along. They dropped out, of course. So glad they did, enjoyed being alone so much. Besides, one is never truly alone on the camino! (So, do you want a walking partner, or are you just kidding?!)

 

[KYBirdman]

One day my husband declared we were going to walk the Camino de Santiago. This was beyond startling to me as he had never walked long distance at all and seemed to resent my long hikes. (My longest was 2200 miles 3540 km) Naturally I jumped at his suggestion and began to plan. At each stage of planning, I asked, are you sure you want to do this. Once we book the flights (or whatever) you must go. Planning progressed and when asked his input his remark was “are we there yet?”. In short before we left home he was told that on the Camino that phrase could only be used once and he needed to use it a good location. The first day from St Jean to Roncesvalles was his longest day walking EVER! His knees were ravaged but he bussed for a couple of days and re-joined me. It took a bit for me to realize he didn’t like walking for 5-6 hours without a stop and to adjust to walking with him. In short, we walked the entire Camino Frances and he loved it! By the way, never did he say “are we there yet?”

In short, it can work well. Be flexible.

 

[Jacobus]

Here's a conversation I just had with some of my family that caught me totally off guard - and I'm willing to bet I'm not the only one who's had this!

The relative: Are you really planning on walking again?
Me: Definitely. It was a special time. I really want to walk again.
Relative: Let me know. I'd love to go with you.
Me: That would be amazing. (Thinking: I needed to walk alone the first time, but I would love to walk with family a second time). I'm thinking about doing a couple weeks on the Via Francigena in Italy soon ...
Sister: I'm in!
Cousin: I'm in!
Brother: I'm in!

So I put together some potential plans, and presented it to them.

Sister: You mean we walk every single day?
Cousin: You mean we would walk for two weeks???
Brother: I could join you for a day ...

And I think: what exactly did they think I was doing for three months last year???

After 8 solo trips my then (2017) 20 year old daughter asked if she could join me. I booked the flight immediately and Santa brought everything she would need for the adventure. In May we did Porto to Santiago and she was amazing. Caught on to the bohemian lifestyle imposed by the Camino without any hesitation. Like all my other camino’s this was a completely different experience but somehow more satisfying.
So the moral I guess is if someone you want to do this with expresses an interest call their bluff and book the flight, train or camel, or whatever but solidify the commitment. You might be pleasantly surprised.

 

[Rusty walker]

I hear this a lot: "I'd like to do that with you some day." When I was walking the Camino Frances this past Spring, I thought over and over again how much I'd like to share some of it with my family. My wife joined the last stretch from Sarria and enjoyed it. While she doesn't like to be gone from home more than 2 weeks, I have a secret ambition to have her join me from St. Jean to Burgos. My hope is to walk again either next fall or the late spring of 2020. I'd like to see the same landscape in a different season.

 

[HADeWet]

Always better on your own I think

Agree wholeheartedly. Did my first Camino this year all on my own from Villaviciosa to Oviedo and then the Camino Primitivo to Santiago and on to Muxia and Finisterre. Also plan on doing mire, but if I ever walk with someone it will be a very careful selection to get the right partner.

 

[kdespot]

This is why we pilgrims feel such a special bond with one another... not only DID we walk the Camino, but we're the sort of person who WOULD. I don't even bother having the conversation any longer with most folks about why I want to do it again.

 

[Dandabika]

Here's a conversation I just had with some of my family that caught me totally off guard - and I'm willing to bet I'm not the only one who's had this!

The relative: Are you really planning on walking again?
Me: Definitely. It was a special time. I really want to walk again.
Relative: Let me know. I'd love to go with you.
Me: That would be amazing. (Thinking: I needed to walk alone the first time, but I would love to walk with family a second time). I'm thinking about doing a couple weeks on the Via Francigena in Italy soon ...
Sister: I'm in!
Cousin: I'm in!
Brother: I'm in!

So I put together some potential plans, and presented it to them.

Sister: You mean we walk every single day?
Cousin: You mean we would walk for two weeks???
Brother: I could join you for a day ...

And I think: what exactly did they think I was doing for three months last year???

You are currently in charge of your hiking destiny. Don't let anyone encroach on that liberty for any reason. And that's my final offer.

 

[trecile]

I don't get the need to encourage people to walk the Camino who really aren't inclined to do so. Just like I don't need anyone to encourage me to skydive, even if it's the most awesome experience ever.
I do love to help people who are truly motivated to plan their Caminos - just so long as they don't want to walk with me - I'm only partly kidding.

 

[loumura]

Funny, I’ve only had one person express sincere interest in walking. Most just think it’s crazy and something they’d never want to do.

Yes! All I hear is, "Why would you want to do that???" They think we are crazy for wanting to try it. They are comfortable in their daily routines and do not want to be uncomforable. But my husband and I are going to try it in March and we will see for ourselves. I guess some people don't care about the adventure.

 

[Grace3808]

Always better on your own I think

Most definitely!!! Learned that the hard way....but learned

 

[Jim_Hyde]

I've walked alone and with friends for around 40 years the best trips are to either walk solo all day and meet up at the end of the day and enjoy a few drinks and a meal or go solo and meet new friends on the trail and share a meal and a few drinks. Given that most people cover similar distances over a few days all be it at different speeds you get to see the same people over time you can soon spark up a conversation,

 

[Paulac]

Here's a conversation I just had with some of my family that caught me totally off guard - and I'm willing to bet I'm not the only one who's had this!

The relative: Are you really planning on walking again?
Me: Definitely. It was a special time. I really want to walk again.
Relative: Let me know. I'd love to go with you.
Me: That would be amazing. (Thinking: I needed to walk alone the first time, but I would love to walk with family a second time). I'm thinking about doing a couple weeks on the Via Francigena in Italy soon ...
Sister: I'm in!
Cousin: I'm in!
Brother: I'm in!

So I put together some potential plans, and presented it to them.

Sister: You mean we walk every single day?
Cousin: You mean we would walk for two weeks???
Brother: I could join you for a day ...

And I think: what exactly did they think I was doing for three months last year???

I was one of those people who if you asked me to hike for a couple of weeks 6-7 years ago I would probably have laughed I didn’t even have an interest in going to Europe but then I got a call from my brother he was doing TMB with his wife & a small group of friends & someone couldn’t go so I thought why not-best decision I ever made. Since then I’ve done the Inca trail. Then I remembered a fellow worker when they retired did Camino. So in August I’m heading for 2 weeks by myself then meeting up with my brother & his wife & doing more walking possibly in Portugal. The point of all this is you just need to give it a go take the first step if you don’t like it doesn’t matter at least you tried I for 1 can’t wait.

 

[Deleted member 67338]

Here's a conversation I just had with some of my family that caught me totally off guard - and I'm willing to bet I'm not the only one who's had this!

The relative: Are you really planning on walking again?
Me: Definitely. It was a special time. I really want to walk again.
Relative: Let me know. I'd love to go with you.
Me: That would be amazing. (Thinking: I needed to walk alone the first time, but I would love to walk with family a second time). I'm thinking about doing a couple weeks on the Via Francigena in Italy soon ...
Sister: I'm in!
Cousin: I'm in!
Brother: I'm in!

So I put together some potential plans, and presented it to them.

Sister: You mean we walk every single day?
Cousin: You mean we would walk for two weeks???
Brother: I could join you for a day ...

And I think: what exactly did they think I was doing for three months last year???

It’s all about motivation and reason, I did frances last year carrrying the Roll of Honour Afghanistan from the Australian War Memorial and laid 4 poppies for the 41 who dies. I herniated my L4-L5 disc in my back 5 km outside of Burgos and nothing was going to stop me laying those poppies on the shores of Finisterre

 

[jeffnd]

None of them has ever hiked in their lives and all were out of shape and overweight.

Neither had I.

So I started by emphasizing that they needed to change some things in their lives and start working out.

I saw many pilgrims, those who were in fantastic physical shape, real athletes. I saw them up at the crack of dawn each morning, breezing along the path like it was nothing, passing my fat butt who was huffing and puffing after half a mile on flat ground like I was standing still. I'd hear them say that the Camino was "too easy" and they wanted a real challenge. Then I'd see them a week later, ankles taped up, wearing knee braces, feet shredded from blisters, and catching a bus to the airport to take them back home.

Here we are 6 months later and not one of them has made any plans. But they keep “talking” about it.
Lol!

I decided to walk the Camino in 2012. It took me until 2014 to actually get there. Those 2 years were not spent diligently planning either. Most of it was just dreaming. I spent a lot of the previous year working long hours and overtime in hopes of going, but I didn't think I would actually go. But in February of that year, I looked at the calendar and at my bank account and decided that it might be now or never. So I booked a ticket that would take me to Paris. I knew to take the train to St. Jean Pied de Port. And I knew I had to be back in Paris in 43 days to get back home. But after I stepped off the train in St. Jean, I had no plans after that. But 35 days later, I walked into Santiago.

I guess what I'm saying is that sometimes you can plant a seed but it doesn't start to grow right away. It takes time. The Camino is one of those things where you have to put away all of your assumptions about everything, including about yourself.

 

[lt56ny]

Funny, I’ve only had one person express sincere interest in walking. Most just think it’s crazy and something they’d never want to do.

To my dear friend. Happy holiday and you obviously didn’t remember my invite to walk with my college buddies. I have 3 definite commitments and 1 maybe. Come on with us. Maybe a November Francis and home in time for Christmas shopping for your wife. I give Silvia and the girls cash. Sílvia says I am such a romantic but they all get what they need not what I want to give them. Just like the Camino!!!

 

[AlwynWellington]

@MichaelC , what an interesting thread you have started.

I prefer to walk alone at my own slightly faster pace over slightly longer stages and stopping when and where during the day that takes my interest.

But I was pleased when my adult son living in London) asked to join me on a non-challenging set of four relatively short stages from Paisley to Ayr (part of the Whithorn Way) in south-west Scotland. He was quite fit, had enough equipment and knew tramping from an early age.

While there is a lot of interest in what I do for one of my hobbies my friends and many neighbours have their own interests and hobbies and financial priorities. C'est la vie.

 

[David]

This is merely my personal opinion, but, to me there is a difference between pilgrimage alone (but not ever alone) and Camino with others ... I make no judgements, each are valid - but if someone needs 'pilgrimage' they need to travel alone. Starting with others is a tourist walk - enjoyable, and with wonderful memories, but not a pilgrimage.

From the beginnings of religious writings, some thousands of years ago, it was always made clear that pilgrimage is a solo journey - whether one lives or dies, a solo journey.

This is, of course, only my opinion, but it is backed up by a history of thousands of years of clear writings.

Buen Camino, to all xxx

 

[mike g]

Dr Phil is quotable on this "plans have timelines and consequences...pipe dreams do not". Show them your schedule and tell'em. "be there or be square". I've shoveled a vacation or two down the toilet...I no longer wait for Godot.

 

[David Tallan]

To me there is a difference between pilgrimage alone (but not ever alone) and Camino with others ... I make no judgements, each are valid - but if someone needs 'pilgrimage' they need to travel alone. Starting with others is a tourist walk - enjoyable, and with wonderful memories, but not a pilgrimage.

From the beginnings of religious writings, some thousands of years ago, it was always made clear that pilgrimage is a solo journey - whether one lives or dies, a solo journey.

This is, of course, only my opinion, but it is backed up by a history of thousands of years of clear writings.

Buen Camino, to all xxx

That's interesting. I've just finished reading the introduction by Melczer to his English translation of the 12th century pilgrims guide and according to his research, medieval pilgrims almost always travelled in groups. I wonder how you came to such different conclusions.

 

[trecile]

When I'm on the Camino I'm a pilgrim, but I've never been on a pilgrimage.

 

[David]

That's interesting. I've just finished reading the introduction by Melczer to his English translation of the 12th century pilgrims guide and according to his research, medieval pilgrims almost always travelled in groups. I wonder how you came to such different conclusions.

Hi David - true, in more dangerous times most pilgrims moved in groups for safety. Also, medieval pilgrimage was a different thing than today - Chaucer's Canterbury Tales shows that. I should have been more clear really. Since ancient times those on an 'inner journey' have travelled alone, even if they had joined a group for safety.
The outward journey may have seemed as a group but the inner journey was as a lone person. Even today a solo pilgrim moves as part of a loose group, from the other pilgrims we meet along the way.

If a person goes, say, on a religious retreat, they go alone and their electronic devices are taken off them on arrival - there is a reason for that. It is about giving oneself the time for introspection, silence, going through the 'boredom' to something else, and it works. Pilgrimage is, or should be, exactly the same, don't you think?

The thread is about taking friends and/or family along, so my point was that one cannot have an inner journey whilst talking about how Steve is doing with building his garage, or what Tracey said at work ... nor indeed by phoning home all the time, or checking emails and Facebook, posting another photo of another meal, ear-podding music ... one cannot be fully in two places at the same time, so one needs to leave home behind if one wants to be fully on pilgrimage - and - to me - this also goes with taking folk from home with you ... the experience is a different one, filled with chatter about what is going on at home .. filled with having to discuss every single choice ... so, again, to me, there is a difference between the two - and only one is a pilgrimage, the other is closer to a walking holiday.

They are equally valid of course, just that there is a difference and I prefer to go alone, walk alone, make my own decisions, and meet people along the way.

 

[David Tallan]

Hi David - true, in more dangerous times most pilgrims moved in groups for safety. Also, medieval pilgrimage was a different thing than today - Chaucer's Canterbury Tales shows that. I should have been more clear really. Since ancient times those on an 'inner journey' have travelled alone, even if they had joined a group for safety.
The outward journey may have seemed as a group but the inner journey was as a lone person. Even today a solo pilgrim moves as part of a loose group, from the other pilgrims we meet along the way.

If a person goes, say, on a religious retreat, they go alone and their electronic devices are taken off them on arrival - there is a reason for that. It is about giving oneself the time for introspection, silence, going through the 'boredom' to something else, and it works. Pilgrimage is, or should be, exactly the same, don't you think?

The thread is about taking friends and/or family along, so my point was that one cannot have an inner journey whilst talking about how Steve is doing with building his garage, or what Tracey said at work ... nor indeed by phoning home all the time, or checking emails and Facebook, posting another photo of another meal, ear-podding music ... one cannot be fully in two places at the same time, so one needs to leave home behind if one wants to be fully on pilgrimage - and - to me - this also goes with taking folk from home with you ... the experience is a different one, filled with chatter about what is going on at home .. filled with having to discuss every single choice ... so, again, to me, there is a difference between the two - and only one is a pilgrimage, the other is closer to a walking holiday.

They are equally valid of course, just that there is a difference and I prefer to go alone, walk alone, make my own decisions, and meet people along the way.

A monk, a hermit, and a friar sit down in a bar and talk about how to get closer to God.
"You have to be away from everyone else, living in complete solitude," says the hermit. "Only then will you have created the space for an encounter with the Divine."

"No, no," replies the monk. "Away from everyone else you will just go crazy. You need the support of a community of like minded individuals. It is through prayer in community that you will encounter the Divine."

"You are both wrong!", the friar responded. "You need to be out there in the world, with your fellow humans, doing the Lord's work. It is through good deeds and encounters with His children that you will encounter the Divine."

I guess my point is that we all have a tendency to take what works for us and think it is the only way to success. I have seen people who have been walking the Camino with family have deeply spiritual and transformative journeys that I would certainly call "pilgrimages". And I've seen people who set off alone do the same (whether or not they ended up that way). And I've seen people who set off on their own on what looks to me like a walking holiday. I've seen the transformation come from a deep journey within and I've seen it come from encounters with others.

I'm not ready to say only one way is a "real pilgrimage".

 

[John Crawford Howell]

Always better on your own I think

Alone does not work for everyone, but it is the only way for me. I enjoy the solitude of being alone, but never lonely. Along the way, I form many thoughts, discuss many matters, make many plans—all, without moving my lips.

 

[West Coaster]

I’ve led a number of adventures for groups of people. Some experienced and some not. I’ve learnt that there usually is one person with a grand idea that’s going to lead the rest. Many of the rest will just allow that one person to lead and have every bodies interests taken care of. This will end up in disaster because expectations never match reality. I’ve seen a lot of Camino parties end up in disaster because most of the people had no idea what they’re getting into.
If anybody is putting together a group or a family, don’t provide them a lot of information. Allow them to do their own research so they won’t be blaming you when it all goes wrong.

 

[tomnorth]

To my dear friend. Happy holiday and you obviously didn’t remember my invite to walk with my college buddies. I have 3 definite commitments and 1 maybe. Come on with us. Maybe a November Francis and home in time for Christmas shopping for your wife. I give Silvia and the girls cash. Sílvia says I am such a romantic but they all get what they need not what I want to give them. Just like the Camino!!!

Based on how 2019 is shaping up, my next Camino is looking to be Feb/Mar of 2020. You should join me!

 

[lt56ny]

Based on how 2019 is shaping up, my next Camino is looking to be Feb/Mar of 2020. You should join me!

I may be able to swing it. Given your pace and mine we start off in the morning together and the. Blow by me. We can meet for lunch and you can save me a lower bunk at night. Given I will be 66 in March 2020 I will only be doing 20-25k a day max! Speaking of Max maybe I can get our boy to join us. Then you can help me pay for part of his food when he is short on money and wants a third Pilgrim menu.

 

[John Crawford Howell]

I usually take the top bunk just to prove to myself I can still climb and descend indoor furniture

 

[Just Karin]

Ah, a Yoda reference... Loved it!

I thought it was Pooh who mentioned that long ago

 

[tomnorth]

I may be able to swing it. Given your pace and mine we start off in the morning together and the. Blow by me. We can meet for lunch and you can save me a lower bunk at night. Given I will be 66 in March 2020 I will only be doing 20-25k a day max! Speaking of Max maybe I can get our boy to join us. Then you can help me pay for part of his food when he is short on money and wants a third Pilgrim menu.

That would be outstanding! I'm not sure about the "blowing by you" part though. With a torn lateral meniscus on my left knee, I'm having to be more careful these days.

 

[Anamya]

Funnily enough, some people may actually end up changing their minds and going.

When I first heard of the camino, +- 30 years ago, my parents were worried and angry with a friend of theirs that went on this "crazy trip to Spain walking for a month". But episode planted the seed in me. Fast forward a few decades...

2015 I went for CF with my husband. My mom was curious, and started saying things like "ah, if i was younger... and I don´t like travelling to places where there is no bathroom".

2017 I walked CP. Mom looked at the photos, asked is we really walk every day, for how long, and if there are people her age on the camino. She's 60. She was shocked to hear that there were probably more people her age than any other age group.

2019 I just booked my tickets to walk the Lebaniego. Very little leave time, but I wanted a new camino and will do this short one. She started making questions about the route.

"Sounds tough, but interesting... Are there any other short trails that you considered?"

"Mmmm... The Primitivo from Lugo, I suppose".

"Would you take me with you? Now I believe I can do it."

I hope this happens. She started walking near her place (we live in different countries), is sending me links from Decathlon asking about equipment. So I will keep you informed. It may only have taken 30 years.

 

[DonnaS18]

It’s all about motivation and reason, I did frances last year carrrying the Roll of Honour Afghanistan from the Australian War Memorial and laid 4 poppies for the 41 who dies. I herniated my L4-L5 disc in my back 5 km outside of Burgos and nothing was going to stop me laying those poppies on the shores of Finisterre

I’m proud of you

 

[Michael-FL]

MichaelC: Just wondering if perhaps your family mbrs might be put off by the spiritual/religious connotations of the Camino as a pilgrimage. I’ve encountered that with some of my more agnostic LOs. For our upcoming Camino one brother, thankfully, is committed and is really stoked. The way I’ve couched it for others is as “an opportunity of a lifetime”. If they feel so moved, they’ll come; but if not, maybe it’s just not the right time. Sounds like you’ve planted the seed.

 

[Dandabika]

Very few of the trekkers are "outwardly religious". I've read that fewer than 6% of France has practicing Christians. My experience demonstrated that "pilgrims" from some countries other than France tend to be more "outwardly religious". All in all, agnostic seems to prevail. The GR65 Compostelle traffic has a high percentage of French people; the Camino(s) struck me as having more of an international flavor.

 

[MichaelC]

MichaelC: Just wondering if perhaps your family mbrs might be put off by the spiritual/religious connotations of the Camino as a pilgrimage. I’ve encountered that with some of my more agnostic LOs. For our upcoming Camino one brother, thankfully, is committed and is really stoked. The way I’ve couched it for others is as “an opportunity of a lifetime”. If they feel so moved, they’ll come; but if not, maybe it’s just not the right time. Sounds like you’ve planted the seed.

I think it's more that the ambiguity of the caminos is really foreign to most of us in America. We get hikes like the Tour du Mont Blanc. There's a set hiking trail. You meet other hikers on the trail. You hike to set stops. There are refugios geared towards hikers. These things are easy for us to conceptualize.

The caminos? We walk from town to town, and decide our stops the day in advance, or maybe that day. We stay in monasteries and farms and peoples houses and take rooms above bars (well, I did at least). It sounds much more ambiguous and foreign than a standard hike ... even though we all know here that there is just as much infrastructure on the main caminos as on any hiking trail, and maybe even more.

 

[hecate105]

Sometimes you can trick people into it...
A Thai friend we cycled across Wales with on a 'mini-camino' to St Davids really wanted to join us when we cycled the VdlP. She then asked to bring two American friends of hers with us too. We readily agreed and I found each of them a scallop shell to hang on their bikes - only to find when we met in Cadiz - that neither had a clue it was a Camino!! They declared they were 'accidental pilgrims'...!
One lady had to leave after two weeks - so she returned the following year with her husband and they did the whole pilgrimage together.
The other made it all the way -enjoying it so much - that she joined us again to cycle the Mary Michael Pilgrim's Way route across the UK the following summer! (She also cycled all the way to John O Groats - and got addicted to marmite and ale on the way!)
Many people are put off because it is a 'Christian' pilgrimage - but what they sometimes find is that pilgrimage is an important part of life - whatever your belief system or lack of it... So many of us have yearning to travel the landscape with sacred intent...
The difference between a pilgrim and a wannabe pilgrim - is that the pilgrim knows there will be suffering and that they will get thru it.... the wannabee hasn't yet found that out...