Mana di Castanja
Castanja di Mana
- Time of past OR future Camino
- Frances 2018
Lebaniego / Picos / 2022
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But i remember them now when i see the pictures on my screensaver
Perhaps the Camino's greatest gift is that once you have begun, it seems to never stop. The lessons and experiences we have on Camino seem to be carried with us and shape our new thinking long after we have returned home. Indeed some of us have a whole new way of looking at life. And perhaps this realisation of regrets you are having is simply the Camino continuing to give you momentum. Momentum in your thinking and consequently your life.
Morgan, thank you! A wonderful post.On my first Camino (I leave for the second soon) my regret was bound up with a certain wisdom. Let me try to explain.
I probably hurt myself physically more than was necessary (it may even have been entirely avoidable -- there is no way to know) because I kept travelling with the same two men who had much longer strides than I. I felt safe with them. They were both significantly older than I, and when I was ignored in taverns for the first several days, they were happy to take my euros and purchase for me... We became a trio who would share the cost of snacks and lunches, and they would obtain all the service -- at least when we were in regions that seemed to have a problem with my travelling alone as a woman (side note: I 'd had not idea that was a thing until it was explained to me that in some rural-ash areas there is a view that a married woman should not leave her family, and a single woman should not be 'in the streets')...
But by Castrojirez I could hardly walk and I had to say good-bye to my friends. 2 days later, having expected never to see them again, we were reunited in a square and I whimpered about my destroyed knees to one of the fellows. He replied to me that I should just push through, that I could have surgery later but that the Camino might only happen once.
As the mother of a young adult, I thought on that advice and I realized I would never tell my child to destroy his knees (or anything) and get surgery later. Once again, I bid the fellows adios.
Only 2 days after that, the more reasonable fellow of the two texted me to see how I was doing and to tell me that his own legs were buckling under shin-splints. I offered to wait for him to catch up to me in Sahagún so I could give him some K-tape.
He and I walked much of the rest of the route together, at least meeting on most evenings.
One day out from Santiago, there was a catastrophe at home that tore my heart from my rib-cage. Only my friend made it possible for me to limp emotionally into Santiago, find a place to stay, find a train back to France, cancel my plans for Portugal... and so on.
We remain very good friends and I value his gentle humour. When he travelled to Canada 2 years post Camino, he came to visit and to meet my family, my son and spouse and mother.
I regret that I hurt myself because I was afraid to be alone, but I do not regret that I gained a wonderful friend.
I think that is the thing about life. We try to remove the bad from it, but sometimes its strands are bound up in the very best that the cosmos have to offer.
We learn nothing by doing everything "right".
Well done Moni!I went alone (by choice) to the Camino in 2012 and although I reached out to people and made friends along the way, I lamented for three weeks about how sad I was that I was alone. Poor me, right?
Then one day I met up with a group of acquaintances and all five of us decided to walk together. Finally I had people to walk with but had a hard time keeping up. I found myself saying,”God, you finally gave me someone to walk with and I can’t keep up!” I was mad!
God responded,”You don’t have to walk alone.”
I realized I had a choice. So I asked them to wait for me if I lagged behind, and they did! We walked together for two weeks, and their presence changed my Camino.
Now, six years later, when I’m feeling sorry for myself and feeling alone, I remember, “You don’t have to walk alone.”
Take the lesson when it comes. Be grateful for each experience with no regrets.
Moni
Yes, every time.I've walked from april 27, till 27 may this year from St Jean to Santiago.
I'm already a few weeks on to my normal life at home.
At work i made a screensaver with all the pictures of the camino, well the most pictures i loved.
I found myself everyday at work staring at my screensaver for a couple of minutes, till a co-worker pushed me to wake me up again.
I have regrets at some pictures from pelgrims who asked me for a drink or something to eat, wich i denied cause i was, i dont know in a hurry? or i was to tired i dont know anymore, maybe i wasn't ready..
But i remember them now when i see the pictures on my screensaver....José from Brasil, Pieter from Poland, Ryan from america, Spencer from south Africa...etc all the people who wanted to share something with me wich i denied for some reason i can't explain.
I still remember the moments and even there faces when they asked me to.
And now when i see theire pictures i have regrets and wished i had joined them.
Even an Italian woman who took a break under a tree, wanted to share her chocolate with me, i refused and thank her for that and passed her. But that moment when i passed her i already regret it. Sometimes i could bang my head on a tree!
Does anyone also have regrets, that they missed some moments with a pelgrim that you wished you could turn back in time.
Regrets of walking maybe a little longer with someone, or just talk a little bit longer or just forget to ask her/his name.
Maybe its a lesson for me for the next time, to take more time with the people..
Or maybe i must delete my camino screensaver..
(lets not talk about my shoes..)
You were right to refuse. A pilgrimage is a private matter not a group walk. I am always asked what camino i walked and i always reply i was on a pilgrimage to Santiago . Take down your screen saver and No regretsYou said no for a reason, perhaps you were very deep in thought and needed your private time? I would suggest you show some compassion for yourself and instead of seeing it as a 'regret' maybe see it as a lesson. In the future, maybe you will be ready to stop and talk to people, but we can't talk to everyone all the time. I am an introvert and need to guard my private time carefully or I get tired. Maybe those people weren't the right person for you at that time? Everything happens for a reason. Buen Camino.
Perhaps it is a lesson for your everyday life. Where is this showing up now? Will you have regrets about the relationships you missed by not taking the time in your life as you are living it. Your Camino continues at home.I've walked from april 27, till 27 may this year from St Jean to Santiago.
I'm already a few weeks on to my normal life at home.
At work i made a screensaver with all the pictures of the camino, well the most pictures i loved.
I found myself everyday at work staring at my screensaver for a couple of minutes, till a co-worker pushed me to wake me up again.
I have regrets at some pictures from pelgrims who asked me for a drink or something to eat, wich i denied cause i was, i dont know in a hurry? or i was to tired i dont know anymore, maybe i wasn't ready..
But i remember them now when i see the pictures on my screensaver....José from Brasil, Pieter from Poland, Ryan from america, Spencer from south Africa...etc all the people who wanted to share something with me wich i denied for some reason i can't explain.
I still remember the moments and even there faces when they asked me to.
And now when i see theire pictures i have regrets and wished i had joined them.
Even an Italian woman who took a break under a tree, wanted to share her chocolate with me, i refused and thank her for that and passed her. But that moment when i passed her i already regret it. Sometimes i could bang my head on a tree!
Does anyone also have regrets, that they missed some moments with a pelgrim that you wished you could turn back in time.
Regrets of walking maybe a little longer with someone, or just talk a little bit longer or just forget to ask her/his name.
Maybe its a lesson for me for the next time, to take more time with the people..
Or maybe i must delete my camino screensaver..
(lets not talk about my shoes..)
Thanks for sharing this, Morgan. I think that regrets can be great teachers -- and what a gift your regrets have given you -- a new window for your way of seeing the world we inhabit.
May you cherish your photos as reminders that we are always learning and growing.
My biggest regret was not exchanging contact information with any of the Camino amigos we met along our journey. In hopes of facilitating not repeating the mistake, I'm getting a personal sello made to take with me on my next camino, to more easily share that kind of information.
I just re-read your having a hard time post. I note that you live just up the road from the “Camino”. I love that you have now written: Well actually no, I have no regretsI’m not sure. I tried to be nice and helped where I could. Now I have to walk again because instead of walking my camino I turned into a nurse, shrink, packing mule and conflict mediator. And I really needed some time for myself...... I made a mess somehow.
Well actually no, I have no regrets
I just re-read your having a hard time post. I note that you live just up the road from the “Camino”. I love that you have now written: Well actually no, I have no regrets. So, when is your next Camino going to happen?!!!
Well done! Delighted to see the positive effects your camino has wrought in you. Ultreia!Im also volunteering down here, so really I am already back on the caminoill walk a mini pilgrimage with a group of kids few times in january. They walk from school to an auberge here in the Netherlands and get questions on the way that they need to discus. More or less an introduction to become a pilgrim after that ill be a hospitalero for a week in the same auberge.
It really is life changing! I guess I had to endure the pain before I was given the opportunity, its the camino hey
Well done! Delighted to see the positive effects your camino has wrought in you. Ultreia!
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