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Indeed, it's this exaggerated idea of the importance for first-timers that I'm hoping to address. I remember stressing about this, wondering if/how/when I would find my family... So silly in retrospect.The "Camino family" has never been a feature of my own walks. First-timers can sometimes have an exaggerated idea of its importance and stress about not being included. I read a startling post online a few years ago when someone asked if you were allowed to choose your Camino family or were you simply assigned to one in SJPDP....
On both my Caminos this year I ended up part of such groups, the first it was I that bought the various people together, the second, an Italian woman that was the 'glue'. I don't think we saw ourselves as a family (although others might have), it was just that we all liked each other, occasionally walked together (in various combinations) and often ended up stopping in the same cafe's. Often some - but not all - of us would meet for dinner. And yes, we definitely looked out for each other. But then, complete stranger's also look out for other pilgrims on the trail, too.did meet some pilgrims who were walking with much less rigid family rules, in which they had a loose group of people that they kept in touch with along the way, usually by Whatsapp, but they didn't necessarily stay at the same albergues or eat their meals together. That to me seemed like a much better situation.
I never felt any pressure to be part of a camino family before any of my pilgrimage walks, but I think it is one of those things that I regularly see mentioned on this forum. And I think you are right that these discussions might create an expectation that this needs to be part of one's camino experience. Clearly many don't. I have walked with others with mixed results, and have shared some of the ups and downs of that over the years. Suffice to say that I enjoy the company of fellow pilgrims when we are together in albergues, cafes and the like, and find it a great treat to meet up with them again in the Praza do Obradorio if we are there together.One aspect of the camino that I found interesting during the 3 years I spent planning and researching, was this notion of "camino families". The idea seemed nice, and also seemed to be quite important to many pilgrims. But I did worry a little bit leading up to my departure. Will I meet others and form a "family"? What if I don't?
You define yourself as to who you truly are; do not let others or the outside world attempt to define you. Stay true to yourself and do not concern yourself with 'conforming.'One aspect of the camino that I found interesting during the 3 years I spent planning and researching, was this notion of "camino families". The idea seemed nice, and also seemed to be quite important to many pilgrims. But I did worry a little bit leading up to my departure. Will I meet others and form a "family"? What if I don't?
After walking the CF this spring, my thinking around camino families has evolved a bit, no doubt based almost solely on my own personal experience.
I didn't stop in Orrison, or attend any communal dinners for the first few days, so that may have been a factor in my not hooking up with a group of people at the beginning. But I suppose that beyond that it's also a simple fact that I'm not always the most social or outgoing of people, and tend to be a bit introverted. So I never formed a "family", however I did of course tend to bump into some of the same people over and over, and therefore developed a bit of a friendship with them individually.
Some of the so-called families that I met along the way also put me off on the notion of belonging to such a group. One in particular that I kept running into for the first couple weeks were a bit cringey... And by that I mean they were just a little bit over-the-top at the albergues with regards to the fact that they were walking together (like they were in some sort of bubble where the rest of the people didn't exist). Shades of high school cliques all over again...
And there were a couple times that I met someone while making up my bed at the albergue, and invited them to have dinner together, only to be advised that they'd love to, but they have to wait for the rest of their "family" to arrive so that they can decide together where they are going to eat. Again, shades of high school cliques.
I did meet some pilgrims who were walking with much less rigid family rules, in which they had a loose group of people that they kept in touch with along the way, usually by Whatsapp, but they didn't necessarily stay at the same albergues or eat their meals together. That to me seemed like a much better situation.
Please note I'm not knocking the notion of camino families, and I get that for many it's perhaps the best part of their camino. But I suspect there are others that haven't yet walked who are concerned - like I was - about this aspect of the camino. To those I would say don't sweat it, and don't feel like there's a requirement to form a group. Plenty of pilgrims (most?) don't walk with a camino family, so it certainly isn't required.
No, thanks!It was indeed high school all over.
Sounds more like basic trainingThe "Camino family" has never been a feature of my own walks. First-timers can sometimes have an exaggerated idea of its importance and stress about not being included. I read a startling post online a few years ago when someone asked if you were allowed to choose your Camino family or were you simply assigned to one in SJPDP....
Well articulated @JustJack. When I am walking next year, it will partly be in celebration of nearly thirty years of raising a family - my youngest will turn 18 while I am gone. I am leaving my family behind - husband, eight kids, father-in-law, parents - if I were on the Frances, I would actively resist joining a family. As it is, I'm planning the Mozarabe to Merida, Via de la Plata to Astorga, only a couple of days on the Frances to get me to the Invierno and then on out to Muxia. My troubling thought is that there will be just one other pilgrim walking the same stages I do when I am looking for a solitary walk. I really don't want to feel compelled to be sociable in the evenings when I'd rather be writing! It feels selfish to state it so blatantly like that, yet if I frame it that I'm working on a project and I need this space to be able to work, somehow it feels not quite so bad. And at the same time I am conflicted with the thought of wanting it to be solo - I want to be open to whatever comes my way. Complicated beings!
I blame the English language. We lack a word that captures the whole range of relationships and and quality of bonds (acquaintances to life-long friends to something even more). Family is loaded with freight, inadequate, and better than any other word I can think of. Camino relations? Camino kinfolk? Clan of loose associations? Bah, I got nothin'.
I call them Companions of the Way.I blame the English language. We lack a word that captures the whole range of relationships and and quality of bonds (acquaintances to life-long friends to something even more). Family is loaded with freight, inadequate, and better than any other word I can think of. Camino relations? Camino kinfolk? Clan of loose associations? Bah, I got nothin'.
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