Tania Reano Veitch
New Member
- Time of past OR future Camino
- Camino Frances from SJPDP to Santiago (Fall 2013)
Camino del Norte from Irun to Santiago (May 6th, 2016 - ?)
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... I have time to kill between now and then. Part of me thinks I should go somewhere off the path and read a book on a beach for a few days or be in a garden or mountain retreat where I can recoup and figure out what happened. Walking to Finistere came to mind, but I'm not sure I want to.
Any insight or ideas? I really appreciate it.
Another extraordinary monastery is Sobrado dos Monaxes slightly off the beaten path just 20 km north of Arzua or Melide. This Cistercian complex is a Baroque masterpiece; when there I wandered through the many structures in awe. Visitors may stay in the hospederia. Evening vespers service was held in a splendid circular contemporary space. All was either painted white or natural wood and lit by thick candles. The monks wore their white robes and responded in unison. It was truly timeless and memorable. Here is their web http://www3.planalfa.es/sobrado/sobrado.htmThe small Benedictine monastery in Rabanal offers the possibility of staying several days for a retreat, perhaps that could be an option? Buen Camino de la Vida, SY
Hello everyone,
In September/October of 2013, I walked the Camino Frances from SJPDP to Santiago. It was a very special and life-changing experience. Ever since I got on the plane to come home I've wanted to return. Now I'm back and entirely lost.
On May 6th, I began walking the Camino del Norte from Irún. I got as far as Deba and didn't find what I was looking for, so I bussed to Pamplona and began walking from there. Everyday I would walk, see the beauty, but ask myself why the heck am I here? I've done this, it was special, it changed my life in big ways, but why am I here? I don't want to be here. Everything I remembered with rose coloured glasses was no longer 'rosey'.
I know I can't repeat the same journey, but I couldn't help, as I passed certain places, but miss the old journey. I tried changing it up...it's spring for starters, of course different people too, but I also stayed in different villages and at different albergues. Still, I would tell myself each day, I don't want to be here.
On my last day (yesterday), walking out of Logroño, all I could do was cry until I reached the tunnel that leads under the highway. I turned around and walked to the bus station and felt better. Now I am in Santiago picking up my suitcase. I don't want to be here either though. I am not ready to let go of the old journey or to have a new one. I want to flee the Camino. I have tears and a lump in my throat even now.
"So now what?" I am telling myself. I was very excited to be hospitalera in Grañon between June 15th and 30th before I left Canada. I don't want to quit that like I have quit this last Camino. I want to be 'good in my head' and ready to serve the pilgrims. I just feel so lost right now.
I have time to kill between now and then. Part of me thinks I should go somewhere off the path and read a book on a beach for a few days or be in a garden or mountain retreat where I can recoup and figure out what happened. Walking to Finistere came to mind, but I'm not sure I want to.
Any insight or ideas? I really appreciate it.
If you are still at Santiago, I recommend:
1. Walk to the Pilgrim House at Rua Nova 19. Speak to Gail, Ann, Faith or Niki. They trained to listen and understand. Ask to volunteer there if you have time remaining in your stay. Tell them Tom sent you. OR
2. Go to the new Pilgrim Office, at Rua do Carretas 33. Ask for Sister Katherine O'Flynn. She and her colleague, Sister Marian, operate a non-sectarian (though Catholic based) meditation and consulting program, all free of charge. It is called Camino Companions. Sister Katherine is a trained psychologist. They are there to HELP, not to preach. They listen compassionately to all, even to my whining and complaining... They CAN help you talk through this rough spot and come to a solid and healthy understanding and coping state. Yes, you can tell them that Tom sent you... FYI, they wear civilian clothing, not habits...To identify me to Sister Katherine, remind her the password is "Yann Derrien." She and I know what that pertains to...I was there in April for most of a week. OR
3. If you have, like lots of time, ask to see Ms. Montse Diaz at the Pilgrim Office. Explain that you are a pilgrim, have done at least one full Camino, and ask if you can volunteer in the Pilgrim Office for "x" days or weeks. They are always looking for volunteer help. When I work there each summer, they provide a free flat to live in. They may have space now, as they are currently receiving volunteers. You need to feed yourself, but with a full kitchen, that is easy and cheap. They require all volunteers to have done at least one full Camino, any recognized route will do. They mostly look for people with good "people skills," compassion, and the willingness to do almost anything to help. Again, tell them I referred you.
If you go to the Pilgrim Office for any reason, be sure to bring your pilgrim credential or the security folks will not permit you onto the grounds. No credential, no entry. It is 2016. The world is a dangerous place. They are now taking security very seriously.
But, PLEASE do not simply walk away from Santiago without first seeking help to reach a suitable understanding and closure on your current experience.
I hope this helps, and that you figure it all out. Sometimes, your answers are directly in front, but you cannot recognize them. These three ideas can help clarify matters, IMHO.
Hi Tania,Hello everyone,
In September/October of 2013, I walked the Camino Frances from SJPDP to Santiago. It was a very special and life-changing experience. Ever since I got on the plane to come home I've wanted to return. Now I'm back and entirely lost.
On May 6th, I began walking the Camino del Norte from Irún. I got as far as Deba and didn't find what I was looking for, so I bussed to Pamplona and began walking from there. Everyday I would walk, see the beauty, but ask myself why the heck am I here? I've done this, it was special, it changed my life in big ways, but why am I here? I don't want to be here. Everything I remembered with rose coloured glasses was no longer 'rosey'.
I know I can't repeat the same journey, but I couldn't help, as I passed certain places, but miss the old journey. I tried changing it up...it's spring for starters, of course different people too, but I also stayed in different villages and at different albergues. Still, I would tell myself each day, I don't want to be here.
On my last day (yesterday), walking out of Logroño, all I could do was cry until I reached the tunnel that leads under the highway. I turned around and walked to the bus station and felt better. Now I am in Santiago picking up my suitcase. I don't want to be here either though. I am not ready to let go of the old journey or to have a new one. I want to flee the Camino. I have tears and a lump in my throat even now.
"So now what?" I am telling myself. I was very excited to be hospitalera in Grañon between June 15th and 30th before I left Canada. I don't want to quit that like I have quit this last Camino. I want to be 'good in my head' and ready to serve the pilgrims. I just feel so lost right now.
I have time to kill between now and then. Part of me thinks I should go somewhere off the path and read a book on a beach for a few days or be in a garden or mountain retreat where I can recoup and figure out what happened. Walking to Finistere came to mind, but I'm not sure I want to.
Any insight or ideas? I really appreciate it.
Tania, you can come to Peaceable Kingdom in Moratinos. We can always find something for you to do here, or at one of the albergues. And we can leave you alone, too, if that's what you'd like.
Moratinos isn't huge - just ask for Los Americanos/Los extranjeros and any local will point you into the right direction. Actually asking for Rebekah and Paddy will do the trick also. But basically it is close to the end of the village, more or less on the right/opposite of Bruno's albergue. Or just follow the barking dogs. Lol. As you see, you can't really miss it. Buen Camino, SY
PS Don't forget to bring peanut butter (I think crunchy is preferred) and dog/cat treats ...
Rebekah, I would love to come out and help. I will make my way out your direction todayTania, you can come to Peaceable Kingdom in Moratinos. We can always find something for you to do here, or at one of the albergues. And we can leave you alone, too, if that's what you'd like.
Rebekah, I would love to come out and help. I will make my way out your direction today
Rebekah...the bus runs only once per day from Santiago to León leaving at 8:00am, so I missed it today. I will catch tomorrow's bus arriving in León at 2:00pm, then I will catch the connecting bus to Moratinos. I'm not sure what time I will arrive.Tania, you can come to Peaceable Kingdom in Moratinos. We can always find something for you to do here, or at one of the albergues. And we can leave you alone, too, if that's what you'd like.
Mary, I will be in Santiago today, but in and out of wifi range. If you are still around it would be great to have a glass of wine with you!If you're still around here in Santiago, perhaps you'd like to have a "cortado", or a glass of wine
+Tania, you can come to Peaceable Kingdom in Moratinos. We can always find something for you to do here, or at one of the albergues. And we can leave you alone, too, if that's what you'd like.
Moratinos isn't huge - just ask for Los Americanos/Los extranjeros and any local will point you into the right direction. Actually asking for Rebekah and Paddy will do the trick also. But basically it is close to the end of the village, more or less on the right/opposite of Bruno's albergue. Or just follow the barking dogs. Lol. As you see, you can't really miss it. Buen Camino, SY
PS Don't forget to bring peanut butter (I think crunchy is preferred) and dog/cat treats ...
Rebekah...the bus runs only once per day from Santiago to León leaving at 8:00am, so I missed it today. I will catch tomorrow's bus arriving in León at 2:00pm, then I will catch the connecting bus to Moratinos. I'm not sure what time I will arrive.
Life's twists and turns……..love it! So glad you're doing this. I hope I can do the same come Spring 2017.Rebekah, I would love to come out and help. I will make my way out your direction today
Where are you now? If you can, PM me, I'll be aroundMary, I will be in Santiago today, but in and out of wifi range. If you are still around it would be great to have a glass of wine with you!
Rebekah...the bus runs only once per day from Santiago to León leaving at 8:00am, so I missed it today. I will catch tomorrow's bus arriving in León at 2:00pm, then I will catch the connecting bus to Moratinos. I'm not sure what time I will arrive.
Sorry I missed you Mary. Got out of wifi range. Heading out this morning at 8am. Hope the rest of your stay in Santiago is wonderful!Where are you now? If you can, PM me, I'll be around
Thanks to both of you! Pilgrim House was there when I desperately needed it. You were a huge support in getting me to a positive place inside. You run a wonderful and much needed resource for pilgrimsTania, it was SO wonderful to meet you at Pilgrim House. Keep us updated on how you're doing. Enjoy the rest of your journey in Spain as well as getting home when the time comes. Seems like you're already learning a ton this Camino, even though it hasn't turned out exactly as you were expecting. Enjoy being with Reb!!
Big hugs!!!
Faith
I am on camino right now. I have been walking for about 15 days. I was excited to come but not enjoying the experience as I had hoped. The people are nice. Many beautiful views. Many laughs - but cold most of the time, uncomfortable, sore, tired, food is repetitive, boring and full of carbs. I can see beautiful views closers to home - meet nice people and get better food and have clean clothes daily - all closers to home. I can have a pilgrimage and pilgrim experience almost anywhere. I don't know if any of that helps you but I guess I feel not everyone is sharing all the truths of the camino....it's not for everyone and I for one do not feel uncomfortable about sharing my truth. I wished I was flying home tomorrow.Hello everyone,
In September/October of 2013, I walked the Camino Frances from SJPDP to Santiago. It was a very special and life-changing experience. Ever since I got on the plane to come home I've wanted to return. Now I'm back and entirely lost.
On May 6th, I began walking the Camino del Norte from Irún. I got as far as Deba and didn't find what I was looking for, so I bussed to Pamplona and began walking from there. Everyday I would walk, see the beauty, but ask myself why the heck am I here? I've done this, it was special, it changed my life in big ways, but why am I here? I don't want to be here. Everything I remembered with rose coloured glasses was no longer 'rosey'.
I know I can't repeat the same journey, but I couldn't help, as I passed certain places, but miss the old journey. I tried changing it up...it's spring for starters, of course different people too, but I also stayed in different villages and at different albergues. Still, I would tell myself each day, I don't want to be here.
On my last day (yesterday), walking out of Logroño, all I could do was cry until I reached the tunnel that leads under the highway. I turned around and walked to the bus station and felt better. Now I am in Santiago picking up my suitcase. I don't want to be here either though. I am not ready to let go of the old journey or to have a new one. I want to flee the Camino. I have tears and a lump in my throat even now.
"So now what?" I am telling myself. I was very excited to be hospitalera in Grañon between June 15th and 30th before I left Canada. I don't want to quit that like I have quit this last Camino. I want to be 'good in my head' and ready to serve the pilgrims. I just feel so lost right now.
I have time to kill between now and then. Part of me thinks I should go somewhere off the path and read a book on a beach for a few days or be in a garden or mountain retreat where I can recoup and figure out what happened. Walking to Finistere came to mind, but I'm not sure I want to.
Any insight or ideas? I really appreciate it.
@Debora:I can have a pilgrimage and pilgrim experience almost anywhere.
Tania, this whole thread beginning with your "lost in Santiago" post was the first long thread I have read on this website. I was moved by your courage to be vulnerable and honest and ask for help and moved by the humility, wisdom and kindness (and lack of intrusiveness) of the wonderful responders. What a great community of pilgrims. Also moved by your willingness and ability to take the advice given and run with it. Here I am inMuxia resting after my 2nd Camino Frances (this from Burgos, the first in 2012 fromSt. Jean, both with injuries, obstacles, paradoxes, gifts, confusions, etc ). Reading this thread was a gift and a blessing. Thank you all wet much.Thanks to both of you! Pilgrim House was there when I desperately needed it. You were a huge support in getting me to a positive place inside. You run a wonderful and much needed resource for pilgrims
Hi Tania. Sorry to hear of your disappointment. It is a harsh lesson to believe we can ever go back in time, yet I do believe you will gain some treasure. I am writing from Finisterre. I am walking to Muxia tomorrow. It is spectacular and a wonderful mini camino that is totally mine after walking the Camino Frances. XHello everyone,
In September/October of 2013, I walked the Camino Frances from SJPDP to Santiago. It was a very special and life-changing experience. Ever since I got on the plane to come home I've wanted to return. Now I'm back and entirely lost.
On May 6th, I began walking the Camino del Norte from Irún. I got as far as Deba and didn't find what I was looking for, so I bussed to Pamplona and began walking from there. Everyday I would walk, see the beauty, but ask myself why the heck am I here? I've done this, it was special, it changed my life in big ways, but why am I here? I don't want to be here. Everything I remembered with rose coloured glasses was no longer 'rosey'.
I know I can't repeat the same journey, but I couldn't help, as I passed certain places, but miss the old journey. I tried changing it up...it's spring for starters, of course different people too, but I also stayed in different villages and at different albergues. Still, I would tell myself each day, I don't want to be here.
On my last day (yesterday), walking out of Logroño, all I could do was cry until I reached the tunnel that leads under the highway. I turned around and walked to the bus station and felt better. Now I am in Santiago picking up my suitcase. I don't want to be here either though. I am not ready to let go of the old journey or to have a new one. I want to flee the Camino. I have tears and a lump in my throat even now.
"So now what?" I am telling myself. I was very excited to be hospitalera in Grañon between June 15th and 30th before I left Canada. I don't want to quit that like I have quit this last Camino. I want to be 'good in my head' and ready to serve the pilgrims. I just feel so lost right now.
I have time to kill between now and then. Part of me thinks I should go somewhere off the path and read a book on a beach for a few days or be in a garden or mountain retreat where I can recoup and figure out what happened. Walking to Finistere came to mind, but I'm not sure I want to.
Any insight or ideas? I really appreciate it.
I'm not at all surprised that your second pilgrimage is not living up to your expectations.
I have yet to walk the Camino, so I may be talking out of turn, but --- I don't understand "Camino fever," which seems to compel many people to walk the various Caminos over and over again. I plan to walk the Camino Frances one time. If I'm successful and complete the whole pilgrimage, I have no intention to do it again. There are so many other places in the world equally worthy of exploration. Attempts to replicate a unique and (what will be for me) a once-in-a-lifetime experience are confusing to me, although I do not in any way denigrate those who find fulfillment in multiple Camino pilgrimages.
Tania, the solution is simple. Spend the rest of your trip is whatever way seems best to you. When you return home, look into other pilgrimages or other explorations in other fascinating countries. For you, as I suspect it will be for me, the Camino is now a been-there, done-that experience. Well worth having done it, but not repeating.
@psychotic parrot:
That's exactly what I thought before I did my first camino. I don't think I am going back to attempt to replicate an earlier experience, but I don't suppose I shall know until after the second pilgrimage is over. But then I never have regarded the camino as a place in the world worthy of exploration. And I have never been on another journey with such a strong sense of calling. I don't feel that now, so I shall just have to try to be aware of the possibility of disappointment. I hope to be able to be of service to others and to be open to whatever happens. That is all.
100% agree with Tom. Thank you, Rebekah, for showing what it is to really live your faith while being real at the same time. Not to embarrass...but there's a special place in heaven for folks like you and Paddy. Just saying.Rebekah, thank you for being a friend to anyone who needs one. You are truly a Camino Angel.
I started to write something earlier, but stumbled on my words...trying to say - "Rebekha you are my new role model". How does that feel coming from an 80-yr old?? It is still my desire to serve as Hodpitalera in Spring 2017.Tania, thanks for the pics and for letting us all know how it's going for you. It's made my day!
100% agree with Tom. Thank you, Rebekah, for showing what it is to really live your faith while being real at the same time. Not to embarrass...but there's a special place in heaven for folks like you and Paddy. Just saying.
But a Camino pilgrimage is an exploration -- of the road, of Spain, of oneself. I too feel "called" to the Camino; why else would I want to eagerly subject myself to the time, expense, and potential pain of walking 500 miles? I am going to find out for myself what the Camino is all about and for what it might teach me. Perhaps I will learn nothing; perhaps it will be a life-changer. I have no expectations, just a willingness to learn.
The Shikoku temple pilgrimage also calls to me (http://www.walkjapan.com/tour/shikoku-88-temple-pilgrimage/), as stunning and life-changing as the Camino. The Camino is not the only "Way" in the world for a spiritual or religious pilgrimage. So many places are calling to me! I hope I live long enough to visit them all.
At the risk of embarrassing you, movinmaggie, you're definitely one of my role models. Thank you!How does that feel coming from an 80-yr old?
@Debora:
I am curious what the phrase "a pilgrimage and pilgrim experience" means to you.
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