The battle between nervousness and excitement

[walksolo]

Hi everyone,

Ever since deciding that I was going to walk to camino alone from SJPP a month ago, virtually everyone that I've mentioned it to has in some way or another implied that attempting this is on my own is insane. I've done a fair bit of traveling and have never been afraid of afraid to venture off on my own...until now!! With exactly a week left before I depart the excitement that I initially had when I was planning it now fusing with the nervousness of reality settling in.
Am I the only one that experiences this? Any comments would be appreciated.

Steven

 

[peregrina2000]

Hi, Steve
Your comments really struck a chord with me. I've walked a camino or some part of a camino in 9 of the past ten years and every time I have the same mixture of excitement, nervousness, anxiety, anticipation, giddiness, and probably a couple of other emotions I can't identify. And even though I know that once I take my first step all of that will disappear and I will be totally "enveloped" in the Camino, I still get those feelings for weeks before I leave. So I would say that it's a perfectly normal and to-be-expected way to feel.

But with regards to the comments of all the people you meet, I would bet that not one of them has actually walked the Camino. Because anyone who has walked will tell you, and I'm sure many will here, that it is not insane to walk alone. My 19-year old son walked it alone and it was an incredible experience for him. When my friends would ask me, "aren't you worried about him walking across Spain all by himself?" I had to tell them I couldn't imagine a safer place for a solo 19 year old (male or female) to be.

And when it comes to you on the camino, if you want company, you will find it. Though pilgrim traffic may be less on the Camino Frances now that we are in late September than it was during the high season, there will be many many people walking. But you may well discover, as I have, that it's a real joy to walk alone. But at the end of the day, I really like having companionship, so I stay in albergues, and -- presto-- lots of people to interact with.

So, in a nutshell, I would say, don't worry about what your friends and acquaintances say, and don't worry about those pre-camino jitters. It's all part of the process. Buen camino, Laurie

 

[lynnejohn]

Your comments resonated for me as well. I have found that some folks are over-concerned because walking the camino is outside their experience or imagination. Their opinion doesn't matter - you've imagined it, you're preparing for it, and you will do it!

In any case, your post made me think of this quote by Kierkegaard:

To dare is to lose one's footing momentarily.
Not to dare is to lose oneself.

So sure, every time I begin a camino, I feel a little nervous and sick with trepidation. But I also feel incredibly alive, energetic and hopeful. It's fantastic and I can hardly wait for my next one.

Your feelings are part of your preparation - just go with them and take that first step - dare! It will be the best thing you've ever done!

Be open to the gifts of the camino, particularly other peregrinos. You will only be as alone as you wish.

Buen camino, Steve! Keep in touch.

lynne

 

[KiwiNomad06]

Steven,
The people who think it is insane won't have walked it, and quite probably don't know anyone who has. I actually think walking the Camino was one of the sanest things I have ever done.

When you walk out on the path that first morning, you are almost certain to have a mixture of nervousness and excitement. I remember seeing the first distance sign, taking a wee gulp, and carrying on, just putting one foot in front of the other. And eventually, with one foot in front of the other, I reached Santiago...
I know that on that first morning also, I had a definite feeling of 'rightness' about the whole walk. I hope you know that too.
Margaret

 

[Anniesantiago]

I double the comments by the previous posters. In my experience, MOST people who have not walked the Camino tell me I'm crazy!!! :lol:

They ask "WHO will walk with you? Will you really walk alone? And there is no way to explain to them that you are NEVER alone on the Camino. The Camino is a mystical place where you get in touch with your own inner strength. All you have to do is express a need, and answers appear, as if from nowhere. There are almost always friendly pilgrims in front of you or behind you within sight. And those precious times you are truly walking by yourself, you are not alone, you are with YOU!

They ask "WHAT is this Camino all about??" and you can't find the words to explain it. You just tell them, "I have to do it myself, then I'll know."

They ask "WHERE is this Camino, " and the real answer, which you cannot explain until you've walked it, is "It's in my heart!"

They ask "WHEN are you leaving? WHEN will you return? WHEN will you call me and let me know you are safe?" You must tell them, "As soon as I can save the money and prepare myself. I'm sorry to inform you that my body may return, but my heart will remain in Spain. I can't call you because ... well... I don't want to; I need to be alone with my thoughts. Trust God, the Universe, and me. I will be fine."

They want to know, "Is it safe???" And there is no way to convince them that most people are good, and that the danger is in our minds. They have been brainwashed and paralyzed into FEAR by the press, and by our governments.

They ask "WHY are you doing this??? " And there is no way to explain the wanderlust to someone who has never experienced its call. The only true answer is "Because I have to."

I want to thank you for your post. It's given me some food for thought. I think I'll expound on this in my blog today.

Have a blessed Buen Camino!
I look forward to following your journey.
I hope you will post a blog!

 

[Nandy61]

OMG! Safe?! Couldn't be safer!! I walked with my daughter and even still have some regrets that I didn't go totally alone. I'd let any of my kids (all 18 and under) walk it -alone. Anniesantiago had some great insight in her post. The only thing in danger is losing your heart to Spain! Just wait- after a few days on the Camino you will think back, as I did, on how silly all your worrying was. Where will I stay? What should I bring? As echoed over and over in this forum, the Camino does provide. You will also feel totally justified in your nervous excitement: the Camino is so very special and so very uplifting. And that spirit, that warmth in your heart when you think of your time on the road, stays with you for a long time afterward. When I was in Los Arcos, I signed up for a massage. Afterwards, the masseuse said to me "It is a great gift you give to yourself" I thought he meant the massage, as it was a bit of a splurge for me. He said "no, no, the Camino! It is a wonderful gift you give to yourself; you will have it with you always." I was told this several more times over the next couple of weeks. They were all so very right.

 

[skilsaw]

Anniesantiago, Your note is beautiful.

Steven,
You are worrying... very natural. I was filled with trepidation and excitement.

Pack light! You don't want too heavy a packsack.
Take a light toque and a pair of gloves. Mornings can be quite cold at this time of year.

The Camino will unfold as it should for you.

You will be fine. Very enriched I hope by the experience.

David

 

[Roamer35]

I walked the Camino alone from Roncesvalles to Santiago in April 2009, and although I had had some experience with solo travelling I was embarking on the biggest adventure yet. I recall that first night in the alberque in Roncesvalles. Everything was strange: stange food, strange languages,strange people. "I gotta nuts," I thought. "There's no way I can walk 800 kilometres. What if I get sick or have an accident? What if I get lost? What if this and what if that....? I know about ten words of Spanish." It took about four days for my anxiety to cool off. Thirty-one days later, striding into Santiago I was filled with confidence and the pleasure one feels in a "job well done." I was also planning my next trips and went back and did the Camino Portuguese and the Camino Finisterre in September. I'm now planning the the Via de la Plata for next year.
You're never alone on the Camino Frances. Hang in there amigo. You'll be fine.

 

[StorkRN]

No need to be nervous! I just returned home last week from walking the Camino Frances from SJPP by myself and I'm a single gal! Aside from one early morning hearing wild dogs in the distance (I decided after that not to walk in the dark!), I never felt unsafe. You will meet SO many people along your journey and even when you're alone, you will not feel lonely! I met so many great people from around the globe. Once you're done walking for the day, you have the rest of the day to do your "chores" (showering/washing) and to hang out with the the people you meet in your albergue! I was a little nervous setting out, but now I'm already planning my next route! What a journey! Buen Camino!