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Remember.....this is your Camino! If you have envisioned yourself doing the Camino alone, I personally think you should. Perhaps in a year or two if you and your girlfriend are still together, you can walk a different route with her. You will most likely have a very different experience if she accompanies you than the one that you have been envioning. Not necessarily bad, but different. I vote with going it alone.Hi I've got a bit of a dilemma, mostly in my head I think but still a dilemma all the same. I have wanted to do the camino for a few years now but things have gotten in the way a bit. Now I have been with a girl for a while and she wants to come with me but my problem is I've always envisioned doing the camino by myself, well at least the first time. My question is, what would you do in my situation? And for those who have been in my situation, what did you do???
I too have been working through a dilemma such as this.
The outcome is that my first pilgrimage will be solo.
The key to this decision was my realisation of a fear that it would be too much for me to make a million steps (walking 500 miles) unless I was totally focussed on the pilgrimage and to be able to absorb all the lessons of the camino without distraction.
My concern was simple - did I have the confidence in my own ability, physically and spiritually to do all that and maybe for my companion, who I would wish to support if the need arose.
I was found to be wanting.
And I have grappled with the flip side of this too - what if I became the person needing the support and I couldn't wear the responsibility of that.
Solo is the right option for my first time!
The Way will educate me, I trust!
Dax
Sorry to change the subject, but gmonkey I don't see you on our Sept. forum page. When are you leaving?There are a lot of things to take into consideration: has she already heard of the Camino and has thought of doing it herself already? Or does she just want to to do it because you're doing it? Does she like to even walk? But the fact that you've already expressed hesitation and have even taken to posting on a forum about it kind of tells how you feel about her coming along.
Though I have yet to go on my first Camino (September here I come!), I have had a friend horn in on travel plans I made for myself. I didn't say no even though my gut was screaming that I should have--and subsequently she made my trip miserable. Go with your instincts.
The best you can do is be honest and explain to her this is something you've always envisioned doing solo, and that maybe you two can do something else special together.
If she's cool, she'll understand this has been a dream of yours for a long time and that it's important to you. If not, then that says more about her.
Sorry to change the subject, but gmonkey I don't see you on our Sept. forum page. When are you leaving?
Hi I've got a bit of a dilemma, mostly in my head I think but still a dilemma all the same. I have wanted to do the Camino for a few years now but things have gotten in the way a bit. Now I have been with a girl for a while and she wants to come with me but my problem is I've always envisioned doing the Camino by myself, well at least the first time. My question is, what would you do in my situation? And for those who have been in my situation, what did you do???
Do you love this woman ? Do you think you might meet someone better on the camino. Real love is a commitment more than a feeling. Now you choose for yourself, you look old enough to do so.Hi I've got a bit of a dilemma, mostly in my head I think but still a dilemma all the same. I have wanted to do the camino for a few years now but things have gotten in the way a bit. Now I have been with a girl for a while and she wants to come with me but my problem is I've always envisioned doing the camino by myself, well at least the first time. My question is, what would you do in my situation? And for those who have been in my situation, what did you do???
No she never heard of the camino before we got together though she back packed around europe for a few years.There are a lot of things to take into consideration: has she already heard of the Camino and has thought of doing it herself already? Or does she just want to to do it because you're doing it? Does she like to even walk? But the fact that you've already expressed hesitation and have even taken to posting on a forum about it kind of tells how you feel about her coming along.
Though I have yet to go on my first Camino (September here I come!), I have had a friend horn in on travel plans I made for myself. I didn't say no even though my gut was screaming that I should have--and subsequently she made my trip miserable. Go with your instincts.
The best you can do is be honest and explain to her this is something you've always envisioned doing solo, and that maybe you two can do something else special together.
If she's cool, she'll understand this has been a dream of yours for a long time and that it's important to you. If not, then that says more about her.
When she feels left behind, what then?I have wanted to do the camino for a few years now but things have gotten in the way a bit. Now I have been with a girl for a while and she wants to come with me
Well I hope she doesn't take it that way considering she is going to Bali in October without me and I'm completely fine with thatWhen she feels left behind, what then?I guess you HAVE made up your mind.
"who's Richard?I enjoyed my first Camino by myself as I was able to make all decisions without worrying about anyone else's state of mind or body. It also gave me the opportunity to talk to more people. I did meet Richard who started out by himself but them met up with his partner in Leon and I believe they completed the rest of the walk together. Good luck with your decision; I'm sure you've already made it as you have identified how you feel.
How do I access this page please I leave SJPD Sept 11 and would like to see if others have the same starting timeSorry to change the subject, but gmonkey I don't see you on our Sept. forum page. When are you leaving?
How do I access this page please I leave SJPD Sept 11 and would like to see if others have the same starting time
Cheers
I too am going in September and at first I angled one or two friends to come with me, now I am glad I am doing it alone - I realise that it is an opportunity for me to discover my own resilience and not lean on another. I have also taken heart from reading all the various blogs of this that I have made the right decision - good luck with yoursThere are a lot of things to take into consideration: has she already heard of the Camino and has thought of doing it herself already? Or does she just want to to do it because you're doing it? Does she like to even walk? But the fact that you've already expressed hesitation and have even taken to posting on a forum about it kind of tells how you feel about her coming along.
Though I have yet to go on my first Camino (September here I come!), I have had a friend horn in on travel plans I made for myself. I didn't say no even though my gut was screaming that I should have--and subsequently she made my trip miserable. Go with your instincts.
The best you can do is be honest and explain to her this is something you've always envisioned doing solo, and that maybe you two can do something else special together.
If she's cool, she'll understand this has been a dream of yours for a long time and that it's important to you. If not, then that says more about her.
-go by yourself.....or go with her.Hi I've got a bit of a dilemma, mostly in my head I think but still a dilemma all the same. I have wanted to do the camino for a few years now but things have gotten in the way a bit. Now I have been with a girl for a while and she wants to come with me but my problem is I've always envisioned doing the camino by myself, well at least the first time. My question is, what would you do in my situation? And for those who have been in my situation, what did you do???
I did exactly the same thing last year. We walked from Sarria to Santiago together. I walked to from SJPdP to Sarria alone and with whomever happened to be along side that day. They were both wonderful; they were as different as night and day!My good lady joined me in Sarria (I had started in SJDPP). It was great to walk that part with her. So good we did that part again a year later. She loved the fact that although I had originally planned to go it alone, I wanted her with me for the end...
LesBrass, I think you need, hastily to edit the fourth to last word in the first sentence!
Hi I've got a bit of a dilemma, mostly in my head I think but still a dilemma all the same. I have wanted to do the Camino for a few years now but things have gotten in the way a bit. Now I have been with a girl for a while and she wants to come with me but my problem is I've always envisioned doing the Camino by myself, well at least the first time. My question is, what would you do in my situation? And for those who have been in my situation, what did you do???
Hi I've got a bit of a dilemma, mostly in my head I think but still a dilemma all the same. I have wanted to do the Camino for a few years now but things have gotten in the way a bit. Now I have been with a girl for a while and she wants to come with me but my problem is I've always envisioned doing the Camino by myself, well at least the first time. My question is, what would you do in my situation? And for those who have been in my situation, what did you do???
Depends on whether doing it solo is worth losing her. I just completed a solo 205 miles on the Camino. I have also soloed the Appalachian Trail and countless other jaunts. (My wife of 45 years and counting thinks that the outdoors is the space between her car door and the mall door). Count your blessings. I'd love to have a lady to hike with but not instead of the one I have been with for going on 5 decades.Hi I've got a bit of a dilemma, mostly in my head I think but still a dilemma all the same. I have wanted to do the Camino for a few years now but things have gotten in the way a bit. Now I have been with a girl for a while and she wants to come with me but my problem is I've always envisioned doing the Camino by myself, well at least the first time. My question is, what would you do in my situation? And for those who have been in my situation, what did you do???
Hi I've got a bit of a dilemma, mostly in my head I think but still a dilemma all the same. I have wanted to do the Camino for a few years now but things have gotten in the way a bit. Now I have been with a girl for a while and she wants to come with me but my problem is I've always envisioned doing the Camino by myself, well at least the first time. My question is, what would you do in my situation? And for those who have been in my situation, what did you do???
There are a lot of things to take into consideration: has she already heard of the Camino and has thought of doing it herself already? Or does she just want to to do it because you're doing it? Does she like to even walk? But the fact that you've already expressed hesitation and have even taken to posting on a forum about it kind of tells how you feel about her coming along.
Though I have yet to go on my first Camino (September here I come!), I have had a friend horn in on travel plans I made for myself. I didn't say no even though my gut was screaming that I should have--and subsequently she made my trip miserable. Go with your instincts.
The best you can do is be honest and explain to her this is something you've always envisioned doing solo, and that maybe you two can do something else special together.
If she's cool, she'll understand this has been a dream of yours for a long time and that it's important to you. If not, then that says more about her.
So I talked about it with my partner and I didn't even really have to explain much she was pretty much all for me doing it alone, she said it's something I need to do so do it, she also said we'd do one together another time, though I think I might do it forwards and backwards by myself and then she will meet me at the start and wr will walk it togetherI think my camino is going to be amazing, first to walk it alone and experience it for myself then experience it with her straight afterwards is going to be great, tough on my body but great all the same thank you everyone for your input, I showed her all the replies and she was amazing
The most important part is that the "decision" was both individual and mutual. You will really have two Caminos. For the most benefit to you both, keep them as separate as possible.So I talked about it with my partner and I didn't even really have to explain much she was pretty much all for me doing it alone, she said it's something I need to do so do it, she also said we'd do one together another time, though I think I might do it forwards and backwards by myself and then she will meet me at the start and wr will walk it togetherI think my camino is going to be amazing, first to walk it alone and experience it for myself then experience it with her straight afterwards is going to be great, tough on my body but great all the same thank you everyone for your input, I showed her all the replies and she was amazing
Mike,So I talked about it with my partner and I didn't even really have to explain much she was pretty much all for me doing it alone, she said it's something I need to do so do it, she also said we'd do one together another time, though I think I might do it forwards and backwards by myself and then she will meet me at the start and wr will walk it togetherI think my camino is going to be amazing, first to walk it alone and experience it for myself then experience it with her straight afterwards is going to be great, tough on my body but great all the same thank you everyone for your input, I showed her all the replies and she was amazing
I started out with my son, he went home after two weeks, I finished with a guy from the Netherlands who has become a lifelong friend. You may walk on your own but you are never alone. Although I was always with someone at night for dinner, pilgrims from all over the world, I walked most days with just my own company. If your girlfriend wants to go, why stand in her way of doing her own Camino just because you want to be on your own. Agree where you will meet every evening but keep your distance while walking. It worked for me except my companions were usually male. On one day when I felt the need to walk with someone else, I walked with a lovely lady from Leitrim in Ireland. Just go and take each day as it comes, it will work out for youHi I've got a bit of a dilemma, mostly in my head I think but still a dilemma all the same. I have wanted to do the Camino for a few years now but things have gotten in the way a bit. Now I have been with a girl for a while and she wants to come with me but my problem is I've always envisioned doing the Camino by myself, well at least the first time. My question is, what would you do in my situation? And for those who have been in my situation, what did you do???
Mike, I've walked with my husband and without. Both good and very different.
If you go with someone you assume some responsibility for that person and they for you. Do you want that? It also means that decisions must be negotiated - or at least they should be, and even that can become contentious. There is someone to share the good outcomes, which can be great, but also someone to blame for all the ills that are par for the course. When you are by yourself you make the decisions, no consultation, and you are responsible for the consequences. It is common sense really but takes on intensity on the Camino, with the physical and mental testing it involves.
The good side of having a companion is the wonderful shared experiences and the deeper understanding of each other.
There are other considerations that I think are of lesser importance in making the decision, but may be useful to think about. Your walking speed and endurance will vary (not a big issue IMO - you can always meet up at the next bar). You may want solitude and meditation time (again not a big issue - it tends to happen anyway, see previous point). Generally a shared private room will cost very little more than 2 places in a private albergue. Pack weight can be less as you can share the soap, toothpaste, sunburn cream. One person can do the washing while the other cooks a meal. If something goes wrong, injury or illness, help is on tap.
I'm inclined to agree you should go with your gut instinct but it's tricky if that threatens the relationship. Compromises are possible; I nearly always used to walk part of my Caminos with my husband, and part alone, as he could not take as much time away from work. It worked well for us.
I'm having the same dilemma. I've decided to walk the Camino alone next year starting at the end of May. This past weekend, I shared this with my good friend, who in fact told me about the Camino years ago. She asked if she can come along as it's been her dream. I didn't say no, but for me it's something I've wanted to do alone for many reasons. I am still conflicted and will need time to sort this out as I can see the benefit to walking with a friend and how difficult it can be as well. Purposely my husband is not joining me on my very first solo adventure as I don't want to lean on him for any decisions, support, and so on. Venting on this forum, as I really am struggling with this one. Gut feeling says go alone, but I don't want to upset a friendship.
I'm having the same dilemma. I've decided to walk the Camino alone next year starting at the end of May. This past weekend, I shared this with my good friend, who in fact told me about the Camino years ago. She asked if she can come along as it's been her dream. I didn't say no, but for me it's something I've wanted to do alone for many reasons. I am still conflicted and will need time to sort this out as I can see the benefit to walking with a friend and how difficult it can be as well. Purposely my husband is not joining me on my very first solo adventure as I don't want to lean on him for any decisions, support, and so on. Venting on this forum, as I really am struggling with this one. Gut feeling says go alone, but I don't want to upset a friendship.
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