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I travelled my first camino (Francés) on my own in 2014 from SJPdP to Santiago. I met wonderful friends and enjoyed the special ways I learned about myself while I was there "alone".
Next year, my husband and my brother want to go with me on the Camino. I would have preferred another route so it would be new for me but I'm totally alright doing the Francés again so they can experience it. (Important note: we all get along very well and are good about not "clinging" to each other. But, I watched dear friends struggle on the route when I was there. so i'm a little concerned.
I'm curious what advice others may have about traveling with family/friends. What do you wish you had done differently? What worked well?
Going alone allowed me to walk away when I was growing tired of a dynamic or needed time to myself. How can I still enjoy the spirituality and quiet of the Camino while traveling along with people who expect to stay with me much of the time?
Further info about our situation- My Spanish is more than passable but not fluent. Their Spanish is non-existant. I've traveled extensively outside of the US. My brother never has, my husband has only once.
I really look forward to your ideas and advice. I know there will be struggles and joys. It's nice to hear from others who've been there.
Sandi
I suggest that first, you teach them HOW to find a taxi in case they need it. Have rendezvous towns, and everyone have wifi on their phone so you can reconnect when you separate for awhile.
I would make clear that separations are very likely, and in fact, healthy.
Others have suggested this, and I will too. Walk your OWN pace. No one should speed up. No one should slow down. Begin together perhaps, and then agree to meet up on Logrono at day's end. Agree to meet at a cafe, or an albergue, or somewhere---if you want to sleep at the same place. But make sure everyone knows they may be responsible for their own bed, right?
You may stay at different places. It won't hurt! Then have breakfast, and begin again.
If someone really wants four or five days of solitude, that should be ok. No one walking El Camino needs total proficiency. Learn the words for cafe con leche, bread, bocadillo, servicios (bathroom), etc. Google translate will help. Let them become self sufficient.
Have boundaries in place, and let them know that to really enjoy some solitude, you will need some. So will they!
Are these helpful for you? If not, just ignore them!
Buen Camino---
Deb
I'm curious what advice others may have about traveling with family/friends. What do you wish you had done differently? What worked well?
Sandi
...but I discovered that you can get along very well in daily life, but walking together many days is a completely different thing. Especially, food, lodgments and preferred distances may differ a lot. Some previous warnings (you know, not every experience and moment is great and rosy in the Camino) and agreements would be advisable.
Buen (shared) Camino!
As I lowered my personal expectations, things were smoother and, actually, I started to enjoy much more my walk.
I agree with @filipe however would change the wording slightly to say "as I adjusted my needs and expectations...".
I agree with @filipe however would change the wording slightly to say "as I adjusted my needs and expectations...". I knew from the beginning my wife would not be comfortable on her own so I made a conscious decision that I would use this opportunity to make this Camino more about her needs than my needs. I know I will return and have more wonderful experiences so was happy that she was happy and together we had a great experience.
I think it's important for those who have travelled extensively to try and remember the challenges and insecurities we had in the beginnings of our travels. I know it's not terribly tough to communicate with people along the Camino however if it makes your significant other less comfortable, why would you want that?
There is still a great Camino ahead for you. It's just going to be different and from my experience, that's ok!
Buen Camino!
Amazing!so guess who is now putting his hand up?
How can I still enjoy the spirituality and quiet of the Camino while traveling along with people who expect to stay with me much of the time?
I recently finished walking from SJPdP to SdC with my other half; Peregrino Tez.
Your record on this sort of prediction is not good!I know she won't want to do a 'long' one again
Your record on this sort of prediction is not good!
We are likely to disagree at times. We may argue at times.
Yes! Walking together can bring all sorts of things up. It helps to expect this, and to understand that while the journey may sometimes be fraught with disagreements, they can actually be the doorway into a more heartfelt connection if both parties are willing to do the work of working through whatever it is. Compassion and honesty and mutual respect are the keys. The camino can nudge relationships into a different, and deeper, places that way. Good relationships can get even better - at least that was my experience after my first camino, which I did with an old and good friend.What also helped was talking to each other honestly.
Exactly.And I'll need to learn and grow in a different way this time. To focus on the well being of another person. And that in itself will be a very worthwhile and valuable experience
!He now has two friends who want to walk the Camino Frances, and so guess who is now putting his hand up?
That walking alone is just plain 'easier' and can be far more 'fulfiling'.
Whilst walking with someone else, actually requires considerably more 'effort'.....
Well, as I see it, it's a matter of having different means to the same end.
Walk alone and there's the opportunity to do solitary 'inner work.'
Walk in company and there's the opportunity to use relationship as a way to learn about old habits and habitual reactions and communication and letting go. All of that is 'inner work' too, but coming from another direction.
I have to say that I find both equally fulfilling. And equally challenging.
It's just a different flavour of challenge.
[Edit - And some people may gravitate to the solitary way, while others find company is more useful the inner exploration. Both are equally good!]
Thank you. That's wonderful advice. I've recently come to the same conclusion about letting the two of them mold a bit more of the flow . But it's good to hear that you were able to make that plan work out for you.Well, I had a "not so wonderful" experience with a second Camino with dear ones. At the end it was good, but I discovered that you can get along very well in daily life, but walking together many days is a completely different thing. Especially, food, lodgments and preferred distances may differ a lot. Some previous warnings (you know, not every experience and moment is great and rosy in the Camino) and agreements would be advisable.
As you are the experienced one, and the only one that can speak Spanish, you will tend fo fall inevitably into the role of guide, organizer and mediator -which could be quite taxing. I was frustrated at the beginning, until I decided that I already had had a solo pilgrimage, and probably would have others -so, this time, I should care for somebody else's preferences and likings, not mine. As I lowered my personal expectations, things were smoother and, actually, I started to enjoy much more my walk.
Buen (shared) Camino!
what a great idea. I'll pass it along to my brother and husband.My first Camino I started alone and met many people.
My second Camino I walked with a friend, it was very nice but having a nice companion in someway influenced the intensity and quantity of contacts with others.
Regarding learning Spanish language. In preparation for my last Camino Everyday I walked 1,5 -3 hours. I walked with a headphone and listened to a Spanish course " language transfer". It is free and available on the web. I liked it very much, it emphasizes understanding the language in stead of memorising. As much as possible it starts with words that are similar in English and Spanish and builds up from there.
For me it served 3 purposes : while physically training I improved my knowledge of spanish and I could catch up on my english.
I looked online and found the Language Transfer site. Thanks for the heads up! My husband is planning to listen and do what he can. Not sure about my bro. He doesn't live nearby so we'll see. I'm not too worried about it. I've decided to let that part go. I'm a professional sign language interpreter so I know my limits and when to say no. I'll just need to take those skills with me.My first Camino I started alone and met many people.
My second Camino I walked with a friend, it was very nice but having a nice companion in someway influenced the intensity and quantity of contacts with others.
Regarding learning Spanish language. In preparation for my last Camino Everyday I walked 1,5 -3 hours. I walked with a headphone and listened to a Spanish course " language transfer". It is free and available on the web. I liked it very much, it emphasizes understanding the language in stead of memorising. As much as possible it starts with words that are similar in English and Spanish and builds up from there.
For me it served 3 purposes : while physically training I improved my knowledge of spanish and I could catch up on my english.
Thanks. These are great points. I loved walking alone and with my new friends the first time. This is just going to be a little different experience. Not better or worse...just different.Having done 3 Camino's with friends (all still friends), my advice would be to discuss mutual expectations before you go. Some things to consider:
1) We found that after the first few days, we enjoyed walking on our own schedule. Some were early risers, others were barely out the door at 8:00 a.m. We also definitely had different paces. Some days we started together and spread out after 2nd breakfast, some days we didn't walk together at all, and a few days mostly in the beginning and end we walked together the entire day.
2) Walking separately encouraged us to spend more time alone reflecting as well as more time with other Pilgrims. We enjoyed reuniting at the end of the day; sharing experiences and introducing our new friends.
3) Traveling together, but walking separately did mean that we usually had to pick a stopping place. This worked well for us as we were not in a hurry. The more people in a party can present issues with getting beds in the same albergue.
4) Discuss what you will do in case someone needs to stop for a day or two in case of injury or blisters. Will you go ahead and have them bus to you, or will you wait on them. We decided it was best to discuss this issue before we were in the heat of the moment. You may change your mind but at least everyone is on the same page before you start.
5) Be sure everyone has the tools they need...apps and maps...so they don't become dependent on you.
I found that just having discussed these things before starting the Camino made it easy. Everyday was different just the way it should be.
I loved my Camino's and developed even closer relationships with my friends. It can definitely be a wonderful and fulfilling experience. Buen Camino!
Let me know how it goes for you.Good luck Sandi.
For what it's worth I'm in more or less exactly the same situation. I walked my first Camino alone in 2013, and learned a lot about myself on the way (including, apparently, that I can be much more social among strangers than I had realised!) Next month I will be walking the Camino Portugues with my partner. I will be emphasising a different set of personal goals this time, and my partner is recovering from some mental health issues, so will have their own very distinctive experience.
I'm a little nervous because last time, I witnessed the end of a close friendship between some people I met on the way who were journeying together, but also saw others draw closer together.
So I suppose the main thing is for all parties to be compassionate and flexible in their approach.
Please do let us know how it goes!
...I also think that we can overanalyse things at times and worry too much.
On your own, with family, with friends... what's the worst that can happen?
(Divorce aside).
Whatever happened, we would not be the subject of an online story!
"You'll never guess what we just saw"!
I'm guessing you've never walked with a six year old;-)
Not brave? You're one of The Bravest.No. And I never would! I'm not that Brave...
I walked the Camino Frances last summer with my son, who turned 16 on July 25th in Carrion de los Condes. I realize it isn't the same as walking with someone closer to your own age for whom you are not responsible so there will be differences.
We each had a cell phone and we had Spanish SIM cards so we could call each other. We had agreed at the outset that we would each walk at our own pace but if we separated we would wait at the next village for whomever was lagging. I tried to make sure he had enough money with him so that if he were waiting for me he could buy a coffee and a snack or something.
Early on, when I was having knee problems, he would often walk ahead of me, chatting with other pilgrims. I must admit to feeling a bit of envy at the time. Later, when my knees were more manageable and he had blister problems, I would walk ahead of him and wait for him at the next village. After a few days of this he confessed to me that he was struggling when left behind. He doesn't have the Spanish that I do and was feeling really alone. I made much more of an effort to walk with him after that.
Others above have talked about centering one's camino around your companion's needs. This experience helped to crystallize something I was learning on the Camino as a whole. We are all there to help and support our fellow pilgrim's along. Whether they are permanent family, a Camino "family" or fellow pilgrims we only see once or twice the support we give each other is a major part of the Camino magic. It is true that "everyone walks their own Camino" in that our experiences and needs are all unique. But it is also true (at least on the Frances) that nobody really walks alone. The pilgrim community is a key part of the experience and a major way that "the Camino provides".
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