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I joined this forum a month ago straight after doing my first camino. I'm pretty familiar with the rough and tumble of forums but I didn't anticipate the level of toxicity from the get go on here. It has been a real shock and unsettling to say the least. Dare I say it feels really negative on here, though there are a number of members trying valiantly to inject a bit of positivity into the forums. I have ventured into participating but I've gone away one too many times feeling a bit crappy from the experience. My experience is that anything that smacks of a novel idea will draw on the trolls. It is difficult to describe the sanctimoniousness of many members without coming off like that myself. I just hope the people online are not like this in real life. So goodbye to this forum! I wish you all well! Life is too short to surround oneself with negativity. Shaking the dust off my feet and moving on. Please people think before you post hurtful comments.
I think when I was a few years younger I'd have enjoyed all the combative snarkiness and given as good as I got but I have since seen what a waste of time and energy the trolling activity is. I run a YouTube channel and keep a very positive vibe amongst the community in the comment section. Without giving the channel name a way, it deals with a lot of hot button issues and has a much more religious diverse viewers than on here but there isn't the tangible lack of respect that is evident on this forum. It is a real shame. I think maybe people think that I was just annoyed that any ideas I proposed got shot down as if I'm precious about them. That's not the case. I dislike the way people engage with each other on the forum. One forum post, I saw earlier today which was thankfully closed, began with a polite request as regards whether unvaccinated people are allowed in the albergues. The response was pretty typical: he was immediately labelled as selfish for daring to risk infecting the vaccinated (who says irony is dead?) and that he should just stay at home. Where was the sense of charity? Where was the sense that everyone is equal or that people have the right to be different? I don't want to get side-tracked with that example but it seems to occur a lot. It is a habitual kneejerk reaction. I can imagine in the virtual world of this forum, if someone sheepishly asked for directions, they'd be quickly told by two thirds of the forum, that they were stupid for not having a map and a compass. For me the best thing about the camino is the camino; this is at the other end of the spectrum.Sorry to hear that you are leaving.
Forums are fickle places at times.
Full of a broad cross section of people, many with quite strong views and opinions that they like to share now and again!
I remember many years ago when venturing onto a Forum, being given the advice that it was rather like wandering into the local village pub in the UK.
Those not from the UK will be unfamiliar with the concept.
But maybe think of the bar in Cheers, where "everyone knows your name" as the theme song goes. But on steroids. Everyone really knows everyone.
Most of the active members know each other here, and have shared many conversations over the years.
Many will know of the personal trials and tribulations that certain members of the community have gone through. The relationship break-ups, the major health issues, the bereavements. The personal demons they have struggled with. It's that kind of community. Very caring, once you get to know them.
Having been a member of various forums over the years, that covered a range of topics, and having even run my own for 10 years (business related), I have to say I find this one unique.
It really is a 'community'. And sure, like any community or family, there are a few oddballs, the ones who speak without thinking sometimes, the ones who speak more than 'listen'. And the ones who speak very rarely, but when they do, share something quite profound. We know who they are, but they are family.
It's a real melting pot here. And @ivar and the moderators do a great job keeping the 'kids' under control most of the time.
Sometimes there is an argument here and there, some harsh words, maybe some thoughtless words.
And sometimes the first reaction is to leave the Forum, because it somehow feels hostile, or we don't feel heard.
I have done that myself.........
But I calmed down, and came back. Because if there is one thing the Camino has taught me, it's to be more tolerant of others and not to judge too harshly. And Yes, you may feel you were judged quickly and treated harshly.
Coming back to the Cheers analogy, when we find this great community, we might jump in a bit too quick. Sometimes in our enthusiasm to share, or suggest things, particularly new things that look obvious to 'us', we might tread on the toes of those who have been coming to this bar for 20 years or more. We might tread on their beliefs, values and views of how things are or should be. Often a shared view, because maybe that's what drew them to this bar in the first place. They felt at home, and safe.
So in a new city, in a new bar, it can make sense to spend a while 'lurking' and 'watching'. Getting a sense of the vibe, and how the community 'thinks' and who are the ones with the strong opinions, or wrong opinions! That way we can 'ease' into the community, and start to become part of it, and then.........start suggesting new ideas and ways of doing things.
I'm sorry that your initial experience was not good
Thanks! I will start using the ignore button. That should make the experience a little bit less emotionally corrosive.PS @Mel C if you're still there.. A while back I confided privately with a forum member after witnessing some really unkind, patronising and judgemental remarks (not to me but to another member). The forum member told me that there is an 'ignore' button - which allows you to ignore any posts or comments from particular members - much as you might avoid that behaviour in real life, where possible. There are a couple who fall into this category for me - and now that I don't see their comments, I find the forum a more positive space.
I joined this forum a month ago straight after doing my first camino. I'm pretty familiar with the rough and tumble of forums but I didn't anticipate the level of toxicity from the get go on here. It has been a real shock and unsettling to say the least. Dare I say it feels really negative on here, though there are a number of members trying valiantly to inject a bit of positivity into the forums. I have ventured into participating but I've gone away one too many times feeling a bit crappy from the experience. My experience is that anything that smacks of a novel idea will draw on the trolls. It is difficult to describe the sanctimoniousness of many members without coming off like that myself. I just hope the people online are not like this in real life. So goodbye to this forum! I wish you all well! Life is too short to surround oneself with negativity. Shaking the dust off my feet and moving on. Please people think before you post hurtful comments.
I've found some really wonderful people on this forum who are endlessly patient, helpful and even inspiring. Really lovely folks. Only one offended me - or I should say was apparently offended by what I thought were innocent posts of mine. I found this person's responses to me inexplicable and hurtful. With that person ignored, the problem is solved.PS @Mel C if you're still there.. A while back I confided privately with a forum member after witnessing some really unkind, patronising and judgemental remarks (not to me but to another member). The forum member told me that there is an 'ignore' button - which allows you to ignore any posts or comments from particular members - much as you might avoid that behaviour in real life, where possible. There are a couple who fall into this category for me - and now that I don't see their comments, I find the forum a more positive space.
This all happened while I was in the land of Nod!I joined this forum a month ago straight after doing my first camino. I'm pretty familiar with the rough and tumble of forums but I didn't anticipate the level of toxicity from the get go on here. It has been a real shock and unsettling to say the least. Dare I say it feels really negative on here, though there are a number of members trying valiantly to inject a bit of positivity into the forums. I have ventured into participating but I've gone away one too many times feeling a bit crappy from the experience. My experience is that anything that smacks of a novel idea will draw on the trolls. It is difficult to describe the sanctimoniousness of many members without coming off like that myself. I just hope the people online are not like this in real life. So goodbye to this forum! I wish you all well! Life is too short to surround oneself with negativity. Shaking the dust off my feet and moving on. Please people think before you post hurtful comments.
If anyone feels that they have been treated rudely or that a response to a post is a personal attack please use the "Report" button. The moderators cannot read every post, we are volunteers, and we depend on reports to give us a heads up when things stray off the straight and narrow.And although I can’t speak for @Mel C, I do think the issue is not that people disagree - it’s good to have diverse opinions - but that some choose to express their opinions in a scathing, sarcastic, rude way, which is surely unnecessary. It’s often jarring for some forum members (it is for me) and may be especially so for new members.
Mel , treat the forum like you would treat the Camino , if you meet someone interesting you walk awhile with them .I joined this forum a month ago straight after doing my first camino. I'm pretty familiar with the rough and tumble of forums but I didn't anticipate the level of toxicity from the get go on here. It has been a real shock and unsettling to say the least. Dare I say it feels really negative on here, though there are a number of members trying valiantly to inject a bit of positivity into the forums. I have ventured into participating but I've gone away one too many times feeling a bit crappy from the experience. My experience is that anything that smacks of a novel idea will draw on the trolls. It is difficult to describe the sanctimoniousness of many members without coming off like that myself. I just hope the people online are not like this in real life. So goodbye to this forum! I wish you all well! Life is too short to surround oneself with negativity. Shaking the dust off my feet and moving on. Please people think before you post hurtful comments.
That's flaming gaslighting! Being rude and discourteous is being rude and discourteous regardless of whether it is agreeing or disagreeing.I’m sorry you feel that way but if it’s best for you to leave then Buen Camino. You do need to take an open mind to others opinions here, even if people don’t agree with you—people disagreeing aren’t trolls, they disagree with you.
Probably for the umpteen time, I have no problem with disagreement, it is the preachy, condescending, moralising backlash I so frequently experience that is uniquely and awfully an element on here. I've been told there is an ignore button so I will see if that filters the worst of it.Hi Mel, I understand how you feel but I do think that you should reconsider ... you have done a Camino so you have the ability to help others.
The moderators are pretty good at what they do and will delete posts when they see that they are not kind but, it is a forum, an open market place, filled with all types of humans .... expect tensions sometimes.
I looked through your posts but it seems that responses that upset you have been removed as I couldn't find any.
The problem seems to be that we aren't at a pub table, we can't see expressions, hear the tone of things said, we are without that human toing and froing .. what can seem cold and rude in text can be different at table .. but you know this.
The thing is, Mel, you cannot have the forum that you want, one where you can state your views and no one disagrees with you, forums, people, are just not like that.
Mel, stay ... bend with that breeze, help others.
Buen Camino
Thanks @wayfarer None of my posts have ever attracted such responses - but I've certainly been appalled by some I've seen - so much so that a few times I have felt the need to make an observation about that. So, I very much appreciate the time and effort of the volunteer moderators. And indeed have appreciated seeing that moderators have closed some threads that had become particularly nasty. Muchas gracias.If anyone feels that they have been treated rudely or that a response to a post is a personal attack please use the "Report" button. The moderators cannot read every post, we are volunteers, and we depend on reports to give us a heads up when things stray off the straight and narrow.
You can report an aggressive, snsrky, or out of bounds post whether it's a reply to one of yours or not. That'll alert the mods so they can decide what to do with it.I've certainly been appalled by some I've seen - so much so that a few times I have felt the need to make an observation about that.
That's flaming gaslighting! Being rude and discourteous is being rude and discourteous regardless of whether it is agreeing or disagreeing.
Probably for the umpteen time, I have no problem with disagreement, it is the preachy, condescending, moralising backlash I so frequently experience that is uniquely and awfully an element on here. I've been told there is an ignore button so I will see if that filters the worst of it.
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