For 2024 Pilgrims: €50,- donation = 1 year with no ads on the forum + 90% off any 2024 Guide. More here. (Discount code sent to you by Private Message after your donation) |
---|
I think from now on, instead of giving an answer to the question "how long have you been walking?", I'll ask: why does it matter?
What is it with these people and their big need to run the camino instead of walk it?
Hahaha, you're not the only one out there. I have never started walking before 8am not even on Levante when I had the highest at approx.40C for almost 2 weeks. And rarely stop much before 5pm because I could say about my walking that I "camino rapido pero descanso lentamente"Hey pelgrims,
There is one thing that's been an annoyance to me ever since I started. The Camino itself is all good and it unfolds. However, almost every time I rest somewhere I get one of the following comments:
"you took 4 months out to walk? my such-and-so cousin did it in 30 days!"
"you can walk from Nijmegen to Saint Severin in 4 days easy!"
Aside from being idiotic (why would you want to walk from Nijmegen to St Severin in 4 days), I am really tired of the feedback.
I am doing this at my own pace. I loathe any sort of forced schedule. Sometimes I walk at 05:00 and see the sunrise and other times it's too warm to even walk.
What is it with these people and their big need to run the camino instead of walk it?
Don't get me wrong. If you want to run it, you run it. To each his own. But I am here to enjoy my life, not race anywhere.
I think from now on, instead of giving an answer to the question "how long have you been walking?", I'll ask: why does it matter?
Hey pelgrims,
There is one thing that's been an annoyance to me ever since I started. The Camino itself is all good and it unfolds. However, almost every time I rest somewhere I get one of the following comments:
"you took 4 months out to walk? my such-and-so cousin did it in 30 days!"
"you can walk from Nijmegen to Saint Severin in 4 days easy!"
Aside from being idiotic (why would you want to walk from Nijmegen to St Severin in 4 days), I am really tired of the feedback.
I am doing this at my own pace. I loathe any sort of forced schedule. Sometimes I walk at 05:00 and see the sunrise and other times it's too warm to even walk.
What is it with these people and their big need to run the camino instead of walk it?
Don't get me wrong. If you want to run it, you run it. To each his own. But I am here to enjoy my life, not race anywhere.
I think from now on, instead of giving an answer to the question "how long have you been walking?", I'll ask: why does it matter?
Amen!Hey pelgrims,
There is one thing that's been an annoyance to me ever since I started. The Camino itself is all good and it unfolds. However, almost every time I rest somewhere I get one of the following comments:
"you took 4 months out to walk? my such-and-so cousin did it in 30 days!"
"you can walk from Nijmegen to Saint Severin in 4 days easy!"
Aside from being idiotic (why would you want to walk from Nijmegen to St Severin in 4 days), I am really tired of the feedback.
I am doing this at my own pace. I loathe any sort of forced schedule. Sometimes I walk at 05:00 and see the sunrise and other times it's too warm to even walk.
What is it with these people and their big need to run the camino instead of walk it?
Don't get me wrong. If you want to run it, you run it. To each his own. But I am here to enjoy my life, not race anywhere.
I think from now on, instead of giving an answer to the question "how long have you been walking?", I'll ask: why does it matter?
Totally disagree, when someone says To each his own. But I am here to enjoy my life, not race anywhere, that is clearly judgmental.I don't find the OP judgmental at all. He is just annoyed with judgmental comments by others about his way of walking. At least that's what I understand from it
I wonder whether you are getting these comments from people who have never walked long distance in their lives, and I guess, based on where you are right now, you've met very few pilgrims who walked as far as you are planning to do. "How long have you been walking?" is a standard question from people who've never done anything like this before and most likely never will. Regard it as small talk and not as criticism based on any knowledge or understanding. "How long did it take you?" is a standard question that I get all the time.There is one thing that's been an annoyance to me ever since I started. The Camino itself is all good and it unfolds. However, almost every time I rest somewhere I get one of the following comments:
"you took 4 months out to walk? my such-and-so cousin did it in 30 days!"
"you can walk from Nijmegen to Saint Severin in 4 days easy!"
(...)
I think from now on, instead of giving an answer to the question "how long have you been walking?", I'll ask: why does it matter?
Nothing. Nor is there anything wrong with going slowly.What is wrong with going fast?
Does "I like to drink beer" (it pictures me 105%, BTW) implies that others don't like it?
And no, I don't want to pick up a fight. I found @C clearly post quite sensible and amusing too!Bad analogy. You just want to pick a fight.
...
Well, both analogies don't quite do it for me, Laurie and K1.
Because there are no 'loaded' words in there.
Some words in and of themselves have positive or negative connotations: for example, 'hurry' and 'rush' on the negative side and 'linger' and 'savor' on the pleasant side.
So if you said, " I like to savor my beer," that could be distinctly judgemental depending on to whom it was directed and under what circumstances (eg., if you said it with a particular tone of voice to someone who'd just guzzled a whole beer in a short period of time). But it could be completely neutral.
Context and tone count for a lot - and words with positive connotations can be easily used sarcastically or pointedly. And if you use the ones with negative overtones, the message is often one of judgement.
What is it with these people and their big need to run the camino instead of walk it?
Don't get me wrong. If you want to run it, you run it. To each his own. But I am here to enjoy my life, not race anywhere.
Oy, what a lesson. Thank you for these wordsAnd it's worth saying that judgement can be hidden, mostly from ourselves.
So when someone goes by me on the camino and I say to myself even "What's the hurry?" I imply that the other person is hurrying. And if I were to say "I'm not racing anywhere" I'd be implying that the other person is - when maybe they just have longer legs and younger bodies. But to me it may not feel judgemental.
Which is not to say that the OP's annoyance is hard to understand. It's not, at all. Nor is @peregrina2000 's.
I hate it when people do this to me. These days I am walking more on the slower side than I used to, and I notice that there can be an air of superiority that some people (not ever you @peregrina2000!) get when they think their longer days are somehow better. The thing I have to pay attention to is that if I'm not careful I can take that and sling it right back, making my shorter days better or somehow more virtuous.
We can't control what other people think, do, or say - or even whether those thoughts arise in ourselves. But at least internally we have some agency about where we go with it. And what's completely possible is to notice that comparing thought, and let it go right by without by taking it seriously abnd giving it life.
In particular, and I agree with your reading of the OP, he appears to be mainly annoyed because others seem to expect him to walk faster than he has chosen to walk. So the issue is not that others walk fast or walk long distances per day, compared to him, at least not primarily.Poor OP when he'll read all this
Gee. I must be doing it wrong.Not walking for a day or more, or not moving forwards in any way, can apparently never be part of a pilgrimage
I think from now on, instead of giving an answer to the question "how long have you been walking?", I'll ask: why does it matter?
That thought stayed with me last night. I re-read the thread and see that I was being overly sensitive. I’ve gotten so many of those “it’s not a race” and “why don’t you take time to smell the roses” comments that they now get right under my skin and trigger an almost involuntary reaction. I apologize for that.Poor OP when he'll read all this
Short answer: It’s your Camino; it’s no one else’s. Who gives a flip what others think?Hey pelgrims,
There is one thing that's been an annoyance to me ever since I started. The Camino itself is all good and it unfolds. However, almost every time I rest somewhere I get one of the following comments:
"you took 4 months out to walk? my such-and-so cousin did it in 30 days!"
"you can walk from Nijmegen to Saint Severin in 4 days easy!"
Aside from being idiotic (why would you want to walk from Nijmegen to St Severin in 4 days), I am really tired of the feedback.
I am doing this at my own pace. I loathe any sort of forced schedule. Sometimes I walk at 05:00 and see the sunrise and other times it's too warm to even walk.
What is it with these people and their big need to run the camino instead of walk it?
Don't get me wrong. If you want to run it, you run it. To each his own. But I am here to enjoy my life, not race anywhere.
I think from now on, instead of giving an answer to the question "how long have you been walking?", I'll ask: why does it matter?
I begin my 5th Camino the middle of August. I am planning on 60 days to walk from SJPP to Astorga and then south to walk the Sanabres Camino to Santiago. Then out to Muxia and Finnesterra. I am taking my time. For a return ticket reasons I will average about 19 kms day. I want to stop, smell the roses, take plenty of photos, talk to people and enjoy to bliss that God gives me while walking the Camino. I am a motorcycle rider and the saying is "ride your own ride" now it is "Walk your own Walk/Camino." This is my Camino and I will do it my way. You do it yours. My walk will be a walk of "tranquillity" and enjoyment. this may be my last time on the Camino so I intend to enjoy ever centimeter of it. Buen Camino.Hey pelgrims,
There is one thing that's been an annoyance to me ever since I started. The Camino itself is all good and it unfolds. However, almost every time I rest somewhere I get one of the following comments:
"you took 4 months out to walk? my such-and-so cousin did it in 30 days!"
"you can walk from Nijmegen to Saint Severin in 4 days easy!"
Aside from being idiotic (why would you want to walk from Nijmegen to St Severin in 4 days), I am really tired of the feedback.
I am doing this at my own pace. I loathe any sort of forced schedule. Sometimes I walk at 05:00 and see the sunrise and other times it's too warm to even walk.
What is it with these people and their big need to run the camino instead of walk it?
Don't get me wrong. If you want to run it, you run it. To each his own. But I am here to enjoy my life, not race anywhere.
I think from now on, instead of giving an answer to the question "how long have you been walking?", I'll ask: why does it matter?
You are right that some people are judgmental and say disparaging things about those who walk short distances. But that side of the equation has no monopoly on the judgment. The judgment extends both ways. I LIKE to walk 30-40 km, and this is a habit I acquired at age 64, after almost 15 years of walking much shorter stages on the Camino. I feel alive and in touch with myself and my body. I am smelling the roses, I am enjoying the solitude. I am enjoying the effort and the sense of self-sufficiency, When I am walking and in sync with the universe, the thought of stopping early has no appeal at all. And for me, the thought of sitting in a cafe for three hours or waiting in line for an albergue to open just drives me crazy. That’s just me. You are obviously different. That’s great.
But if you think you aren’t being judgmental, read what you wrote again.
If you want to run it, you run it. To each his own. But I am here to enjoy my life, not race anywhere.
I don’t mean to sound defensive, but I can assure you that I am ALSO here to enjoy my life and not to race anywhere. We do caminos differently. Whether I walk faster or for longer hours, that’s what works for me.
I’ve been on this soapbox before, but I always feel the urge to jump to the defense of those who thrive on walking longer stages and would not enjoy it any other way. This is like the cyclist vs. pedestrian debate or the carry your own bag vs. Jacotrans debate — the judgment is frequently there beneath the surface. It’s not a bad thing to call it out, IMO.
Very true, and it can't be repeated enough. And..."Suffering or happiness is created through one's relationship to experience, not by experience itself."
Maybe.ie: your reactions to others comments are more important than the comments themselves. And you have a large control over your reactions.
Everyone walks their own Camino but I am with you...Why hurry? Maybe time might be limited and not everyone has the luxury of time. Just enjoy the Camino no matter what pace you walk it.Hey pelgrims,
There is one thing that's been an annoyance to me ever since I started. The Camino itself is all good and it unfolds. However, almost every time I rest somewhere I get one of the following comments:
"you took 4 months out to walk? my such-and-so cousin did it in 30 days!"
"you can walk from Nijmegen to Saint Severin in 4 days easy!"
Aside from being idiotic (why would you want to walk from Nijmegen to St Severin in 4 days), I am really tired of the feedback.
I am doing this at my own pace. I loathe any sort of forced schedule. Sometimes I walk at 05:00 and see the sunrise and other times it's too warm to even walk.
What is it with these people and their big need to run the camino instead of walk it?
Don't get me wrong. If you want to run it, you run it. To each his own. But I am here to enjoy my life, not race anywhere.
I think from now on, instead of giving an answer to the question "how long have you been walking?", I'll ask: why does it matter?
I think that is exactly what you should say. I say that too but have to work really hard to resist the pressure to keep up with all the rushers. LHey pelgrims,
There is one thing that's been an annoyance to me ever since I started. The Camino itself is all good and it unfolds. However, almost every time I rest somewhere I get one of the following comments:
"you took 4 months out to walk? my such-and-so cousin did it in 30 days!"
"you can walk from Nijmegen to Saint Severin in 4 days easy!"
Aside from being idiotic (why would you want to walk from Nijmegen to St Severin in 4 days), I am really tired of the feedback.
I am doing this at my own pace. I loathe any sort of forced schedule. Sometimes I walk at 05:00 and see the sunrise and other times it's too warm to even walk.
What is it with these people and their big need to run the camino instead of walk it?
Don't get me wrong. If you want to run it, you run it. To each his own. But I am here to enjoy my life, not race anywhere.
I think from now on, instead of giving an answer to the question "how long have you been walking?", I'll ask: why does it matter?
This was the first post on this thread that resonated with me. My response to earlier posts was: If I ever stop competing with myself, I'll maybe find space in my life to compete with someone else. I am feeling highly embarrassed that this fall's camino will only be about 750 km, my shortest yet. And I realize that just to say that is a kind of bragging. That is one of the things that I cherish about the camino, and this forum, that coming up against others' and our own, foibles and frailties can be a significant way towards self-knowledge and maybe even acceptance of self and others.Wow, quite a thread!! But I learned something from all this: I rationally and logically believe strongly in the 'smell the roses' approach. But in reality, my inner self is quite competitive. So I want to get where I'm going early, I want to be respected for how fast I can walk (at the tender age of 70) and my logic flies away.
This past camino I was stopped by sciatica. I was the grasshopper and was forced to be a turtle. That was harder than the pain involved.
I'm trying to embrace my inner turtle these days in real life, but those old habits die hard.
If people want to get somewhere fast, they should drive. Walking is meant to be slow travel - they slowest there ever was, actually!Hey pelgrims,
There is one thing that's been an annoyance to me ever since I started. The Camino itself is all good and it unfolds. However, almost every time I rest somewhere I get one of the following comments:
"you took 4 months out to walk? my such-and-so cousin did it in 30 days!"
"you can walk from Nijmegen to Saint Severin in 4 days easy!"
Aside from being idiotic (why would you want to walk from Nijmegen to St Severin in 4 days), I am really tired of the feedback.
I am doing this at my own pace. I loathe any sort of forced schedule. Sometimes I walk at 05:00 and see the sunrise and other times it's too warm to even walk.
What is it with these people and their big need to run the camino instead of walk it?
Don't get me wrong. If you want to run it, you run it. To each his own. But I am here to enjoy my life, not race anywhere.
I think from now on, instead of giving an answer to the question "how long have you been walking?", I'll ask: why does it matter?
Posted by HURRY KrishnaIf people want to get somewhere fast, they should drive. Walking is meant to be slow travel - they slowest there ever was, actually!
Hey, no problem in "short" Camino. Majority of people couldn't even imagine walking 5km per day. Without backpackThis was the first post on this thread that resonated with me. My response to earlier posts was: If I ever stop competing with myself, I'll maybe find space in my life to compete with someone else. I am feeling highly embarrassed that this fall's camino will only be about 750 km, my shortest yet. And I realize that just to say that is a kind of bragging. That is one of the things that I cherish about the camino, and this forum, that coming up against others' and our own, foibles and frailties can be a significant way towards self-knowledge and maybe even acceptance of self and others.
he is being critcised for things he did not even write, it takes a peculiar kind of mindset to read his words as criticism of long distance hikers.
I was hoping someone would get itPosted by HURRY Krishna
I love it!
"you took 4 months out to walk? my such-and-so cousin did it in 30 days!"
"you can walk from Nijmegen to Saint Severin in 4 days easy!"
Aside from being idiotic (why would you want to walk from Nijmegen to St Severin in 4 days), I am really tired of the feedback.
Amazing development. The OP writes about people who tell him he might walk more, and faster than he wants to do.
Give the guy a break, will you? He has had a difficult start of his Camino and he could do with a little support from this community. Instead he is being critcised for things he did not even write, it takes a peculiar kind of mindset to read his words as criticism of long distance hikers.
Walk a while in his shoes.
My friend, when you get this question, I would offer only that we each walk our own Way.Hey pelgrims,
There is one thing that's been an annoyance to me ever since I started. The Camino itself is all good and it unfolds. However, almost every time I rest somewhere I get one of the following comments:
"you took 4 months out to walk? my such-and-so cousin did it in 30 days!"
"you can walk from Nijmegen to Saint Severin in 4 days easy!"
Aside from being idiotic (why would you want to walk from Nijmegen to St Severin in 4 days), I am really tired of the feedback.
I am doing this at my own pace. I loathe any sort of forced schedule. Sometimes I walk at 05:00 and see the sunrise and other times it's too warm to even walk.
What is it with these people and their big need to run the camino instead of walk it?
Don't get me wrong. If you want to run it, you run it. To each his own. But I am here to enjoy my life, not race anywhere.
I think from now on, instead of giving an answer to the question "how long have you been walking?", I'll ask: why does it matter?
I always had to think about how long I had been walking. I usually just tell them when I started.Hey pelgrims,
There is one thing that's been an annoyance to me ever since I started. The Camino itself is all good and it unfolds. However, almost every time I rest somewhere I get one of the following comments:
"you took 4 months out to walk? my such-and-so cousin did it in 30 days!"
"you can walk from Nijmegen to Saint Severin in 4 days easy!"
Aside from being idiotic (why would you want to walk from Nijmegen to St Severin in 4 days), I am really tired of the feedback.
I am doing this at my own pace. I loathe any sort of forced schedule. Sometimes I walk at 05:00 and see the sunrise and other times it's too warm to even walk.
What is it with these people and their big need to run the camino instead of walk it?
Don't get me wrong. If you want to run it, you run it. To each his own. But I am here to enjoy my life, not race anywhere.
I think from now on, instead of giving an answer to the question "how long have you been walking?", I'll ask: why does it matter?
What is wrong with going fast? During my camino I would walk really fast on Fridays, this was my weekly work out, I would try to keep heart rate up in the 150 160s for up to 2 hours at a stretch, I hate running but would use my poles to increase my speed to 6.to 7 kph pulling my self up hills. I found it necessary to work out as I tend to get fat if I don't exercise sufficiently. The rest of the week I would just amble along. This strategy seemed to work ok as my weight after 4 weeks on the CF was 300g less than when I started.
Hey pelgrims,
What is it with these people and their big need to run the camino instead of walk it?
So asking someone whose pace is different from yours, "What's the hurry?" is not being judgmental? Suggesting that everyone should saunter, like you do, is not being judgmental?Fast walking, to me, is hurrying. This is not judgemental but what I perceive when they zoom past. I have a pal who walks and his pace is about three times mine so he has to sort of circle me like a Collie dog. Thing is, he does all this mindfulness and meditation but when I ask him 'what's the hurry, we are already here - we are here!' he gets all huffy.
So asking someone whose pace is different from yours, "What's the hurry?" is not being judgmental? Suggesting that everyone should saunter, like you do, is not being judgmental?
I agree. It's just small talk among people who are walking the same route."how long have you been walking?" Is not asking how fast you're walking, nor how far you're walking, nor how slow you're walking, it's just small talk about exactly that, how long have you been walking.
Bit of a mountain out of a molehill me thinks.
They are only competitive questions if you take them that way.I don't think Gwaihir was being judgemental, just letting off a little steam produced by the endless competitive questions.
Fast walking, to me, is hurrying.
Not to take those quotes out of context. Slow is not always better.So judgemental, these Buddhist masters
Why don't you try: "I made my first steps when I was 13 months old..." I am sure they will understand what you meanI think from now on, instead of giving an answer to the question "how long have you been walking?", I'll ask: why does it matter?
Hey pelgrims,
There is one thing that's been an annoyance to me ever since I started. The Camino itself is all good and it unfolds. However, almost every time I rest somewhere I get one of the following comments:
"you took 4 months out to walk? my such-and-so cousin did it in 30 days!"
"you can walk from Nijmegen to Saint Severin in 4 days easy!"
Aside from being idiotic (why would you want to walk from Nijmegen to St Severin in 4 days), I am really tired of the feedback.
I am doing this at my own pace. I loathe any sort of forced schedule. Sometimes I walk at 05:00 and see the sunrise and other times it's too warm to even walk.
What is it with these people and their big need to run the camino instead of walk it?
Don't get me wrong. If you want to run it, you run it. To each his own. But I am here to enjoy my life, not race anywhere.
I think from now on, instead of giving an answer to the question "how long have you been walking?", I'll ask: why does it matter?
Don’t take it personally. Those questions are about those people. Let it wash over you like water, certainly do not attach to resentment or annoyance. Find a nice neutral answer and let go. It depends on if you want to engage.Hey pelgrims,
There is one thing that's been an annoyance to me ever since I started. The Camino itself is all good and it unfolds. However, almost every time I rest somewhere I get one of the following comments:
"you took 4 months out to walk? my such-and-so cousin did it in 30 days!"
"you can walk from Nijmegen to Saint Severin in 4 days easy!"
Aside from being idiotic (why would you want to walk from Nijmegen to St Severin in 4 days), I am really tired of the feedback.
I am doing this at my own pace. I loathe any sort of forced schedule. Sometimes I walk at 05:00 and see the sunrise and other times it's too warm to even walk.
What is it with these people and their big need to run the camino instead of walk it?
Don't get me wrong. If you want to run it, you run it. To each his own. But I am here to enjoy my life, not race anywhere.
I think from now on, instead of giving an answer to the question "how long have you been walking?", I'll ask: why does it matter?
Your friend gets huffy because you are criticizing his speed and implying that he is motivated to get somewhere faster. Circling you like a Collie is not "hurrying"! It is the opposite - he is walking at his comfortable speed and trying NOT to hurry because he wants to accommodate your natural speed. It is unkind to admonish and embarrass him for it.Fast walking, to me, is hurrying. This is not judgemental but what I perceive when they zoom past. I have a pal who walks and his pace is about three times mine so he has to sort of circle me like a Collie dog. Thing is, he does all this mindfulness and meditation but when I ask him 'what's the hurry, we are already here - we are here!' he gets all huffy.
C'mon @David . I am dismayed by this presumptuous and unwarranted suggestion.You carry so much anger
I know that this might be hard to understand, but it's difficult, and sometimes even painful for a person who has a naturally fast pace to slow down. I know that my back can start to hurt when I'm trying to walk at someone else's slower pace. Your friend obviously values time spent with you, and is doing his best to accommodate your walking pace so that he can do so.Fast walking, to me, is hurrying. This is not judgemental but what I perceive when they zoom past. I have a pal who walks and his pace is about three times mine so he has to sort of circle me like a Collie dog. Thing is, he does all this mindfulness and meditation but when I ask him 'what's the hurry, we are already here - we are here!' he gets all huffy.
You've nailed it, Claire.There are times I see someone sprinting athletically around me and I have a short-lived rush of envy and resentment. Other times, I pass someone sauntering along with a beatific grin and I have a similar rush of envy and resentment. I try not to share those particular internal experiences because I know they are about me - not them.
This is an easy problem to solve - wear a scowl or a sign that says "Don't ask me any questions." Then you will avoid judgement about your answers.
It actually isn't, really. Most of us are faster than someone, and they may be thinking that we are rushing, when we're not. And you're right, @trecile, it's painful to walk anyone elses's pace.I know that this might be hard to understand, but it's difficult, and sometimes even painful for a person who has a naturally fast pace to slow down.
Wow, heal well, David. All good wishes...On Monday I had an operation and he postponed some jobs and drove 150 miles to come and stay with me, collect me from hospital, keep an eye on me. I am encouraged to walk but cannot lift anything or drive for six weeks.
I like this forum and love the Camino. Some people just like walking and look forward to the next day. Not a race but natural energy and enthusiasm to walk the next chapter. This can result in a 31 day journey. Some need time to sit and think and some need to walk and think. Some just love to walk and not think. Some are just at peace with the pack on your back waiting for the sun to rise behind you. No time, no clock just the daily blessing of sunshine on your shoulders. My wish is for people too share their stories and not judge someones pace. Quick or slow it does not matter as long as its right for you.Hey pelgrims,
There is one thing that's been an annoyance to me ever since I started. The Camino itself is all good and it unfolds. However, almost every time I rest somewhere I get one of the following comments:
"you took 4 months out to walk? my such-and-so cousin did it in 30 days!"
"you can walk from Nijmegen to Saint Severin in 4 days easy!"
Aside from being idiotic (why would you want to walk from Nijmegen to St Severin in 4 days), I am really tired of the feedback.
I am doing this at my own pace. I loathe any sort of forced schedule. Sometimes I walk at 05:00 and see the sunrise and other times it's too warm to even walk.
What is it with these people and their big need to run the camino instead of walk it?
Don't get me wrong. If you want to run it, you run it. To each his own. But I am here to enjoy my life, not race anywhere.
I think from now on, instead of giving an answer to the question "how long have you been walking?", I'll ask: why does it matter?
Yes, I think "circling like a collie" is a funny image. Nice to see your explanation and yes, I have noticed that men often insult their friends - all in love. So do service members and some women - it's a thing. I remember standing in line for dinner at an albergue in Estella, jokingly insulting a fellow American I had just met. A couple behind us commented she knew we were Americans by the insults."Your friend gets huffy because you are criticizing his speed and implying that he is motivated to get somewhere faster. Circling you like a Collie is not "hurrying"! It is the opposite - he is walking at his comfortable speed and trying NOT to hurry because he wants to accommodate your natural speed. It is unkind to admonish and embarrass him for it."
Sometimes I really should not make comments.
The situation isn't quite as it seems. Dave is my oldest friend, we met back in 1967. I have an injury to my right knee (and right arm) from an accident in '68 and was registered disabled for eight years before I tore up the card and threw it away. Nowadays it hardly bothers me but it does mean that I have to walk slowly on hikes. Dave knows this, makes fun of me as being a tortoise or an old man, and I make fun of him for his need to disappear over the horizon.
On Monday I had an operation and he postponed some jobs and drove 150 miles to come and stay with me, collect me from hospital, keep an eye on me. I am encouraged to walk but cannot lift anything or drive for six weeks. He came out with me on my first slow and painful walking exercises (with a stick) and stayed patiently with me - he is a good man and my best pal.
The thing is, and many women don't seem to ever get this - Men, if they like each other, insult each other - it is our humour and also our bonding, it is what men do. We don't do it unless we like the person.
It may seem an odd way to feel included, true, but it is what men do. Look at the practical jokes men get up to in all-male working environments - and although he doesn't actually do it, 'circling like a collie' is a funny image, don't you think?
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?