Skandinaviangirl
Member
- Time of past OR future Camino
- Camino Frances 19th Aug - 19th September 2015
Camino Del Norte + Camino Primitivo in the summer of 2016
For 2024 Pilgrims: €50,- donation = 1 year with no ads on the forum + 90% off any 2024 Guide. More here. (Discount code sent to you by Private Message after your donation) |
---|
Do not discuss the Camino with your partner, friends or family, unless they raise the topic
Now I'm by myself and very upset. Well, if I can't share my thoughts and anecdotes from the way with him, then who?
AAww, SkandyGirl - this is real Agony Aunt column stuff! All the advice above is prefect - you are a Camino Addict, that is how it is .. your partner isn't, that is also how it is.
It isn't just the Camino addiction you know - there are couples where one is a golf addict, or tennis addict, or 1930's films addict - endless list, you just need to compartmentalise your life a bit .... build up a circle of pilgrims - why not start a pilgrim club where you are? There could be lots of pilgrims in your area who would love to meet and talk, away from their long-suffering partners ... a blog is a good idea, as is writing on here!
I am so much a talkative Camino addict that I could get a job as a room divider at parties!!
So, he went with you ... and why did he invite himself? To support you or .. hmm ..keep you away from strange men? haahahaha. Be honest here, with yourself, did you actually want him to go with you, or in your mind was this your own single personal thing that you wanted to do?
I don't know if I am being helpful at all .... look, the only thing you can do is to find others who are addicts and share with them and - and this is the really important bit! start planning and packing for another Camino all by yourself - the relationship will survive or it won't - there are billions of men, but only one Camino.
Hi everyone,
So I walked in aug-sep 2015 with my boyfriend, who I love very deeply. We have been together for 3 years.
I tend to be very enthusiastic about our trip and I love to relive memories with him, or share some news from the way and generally I just like to talk about it. It's becoming a very big part of me, because I grew a lot personally on the way and after, and I want to go again this summer.
But today he dropped this on me; "You talk too much about the Camino. You talk about it at least once every day and it annoys me every time. It makes me not wanting to go with you again." - I tried to explain that I have no other that him to share my thoughts with, because no other would understand. He became very angry and didn't want to talk with me.
Now I'm by myself and very upset. Well, if I can't share my thoughts and anecdotes from the way with him, then who?? I've talked with a lot of people about it, but they quickly change the subject, and I don't want them to be annoyed by me, so I don't do it too often either.
Am I crazy? The one man which I shared the whole experience with, which I actually CHOSE to share my experience with, because he asked me, if he could go with me, don't want to talk with me about it?
After we came home from the way, he spoke so rarely about it, every time he actually did surprised me. I didn't talk about it at that time either, but that was because I was afraid to be too much.
I didn't know I was a pain in the a** all this time.
Have some of you experienced this? What did you do?
Much love from Scandinavia.
Hi everyone,
So I walked in aug-sep 2015 with my boyfriend, who I love very deeply. We have been together for 3 years.
I tend to be very enthusiastic about our trip and I love to relive memories with him, or share some news from the way and generally I just like to talk about it. It's becoming a very big part of me, because I grew a lot personally on the way and after, and I want to go again this summer.
But today he dropped this on me; "You talk too much about the Camino. You talk about it at least once every day and it annoys me every time. It makes me not wanting to go with you again." - I tried to explain that I have no other that him to share my thoughts with, because no other would understand. He became very angry and didn't want to talk with me.
Now I'm by myself and very upset. Well, if I can't share my thoughts and anecdotes from the way with him, then who?? I've talked with a lot of people about it, but they quickly change the subject, and I don't want them to be annoyed by me, so I don't do it too often either.
Am I crazy? The one man which I shared the whole experience with, which I actually CHOSE to share my experience with, because he asked me, if he could go with me, don't want to talk with me about it?
After we came home from the way, he spoke so rarely about it, every time he actually did surprised me. I didn't talk about it at that time either, but that was because I was afraid to be too much.
I didn't know I was a pain in the a** all this time.
Have some of you experienced this? What did you do?
Much love from Scandinavia.
Yes,yes,yes,I just love this thread too.in almost every reply,I see in myself so many things and feel so many emotions pertinent to the camino subject. I could talk about it all day long to anyone that will listen but "theirin lies the madness"!! We met a guy in Italy this year with a shell around his neck and we greeted each other like long lost friends--- and no, we had never met before!!! I have replaced all the flowery and other dross around the house with lovely blue postcards, of the Camino, framed simply and impossible to ignore.thats apart from all the other Camino stuff. Ivan's shop isn't a patch on my place!! Even went so far as to give 5 copies of "The WAy" film to family and friends at Christmas. The daughter thought I was mad. " it's an illness mum"!! I don't talk to my husband too much about the Camino because to him walking is walking and we like to walk all over. To me not so. However it's in my head so much during the day and of course this forum does not help the detoxification programme either!! Stil I don't want to be cured of this! When we returned from the CF last year I found it so so hard to settle down and could cheerfully have walked out the front door again without unpacking a thing to start it all over again. We won't be doing the CF this year but I am working working working on us walking "the way of st.Francis in Italy.(cicerone book just published) As we mind some of the grandchildren 2 days a week, I have told my daughter that we will need at least 3 weeks off in 2017 for the CF again.i said Ghengis Khan can mind them but we are off and running!! BTW kerrychick, from a Limerick chick, I like the sound of the husband. We too love to sing out loud too. Best wishes too all AnnetteHi everyone,
So I walked in aug-sep 2015 with my boyfriend, who I love very deeply. We have been together for 3 years.
I tend to be very enthusiastic about our trip and I love to relive memories with him, or share some news from the way and generally I just like to talk about it. It's becoming a very big part of me, because I grew a lot personally on the way and after, and I want to go again this summer.
But today he dropped this on me; "You talk too much about the Camino. You talk about it at least once every day and it annoys me every time. It makes me not wanting to go with you again." - I tried to explain that I have no other that him to share my thoughts with, because no other would understand. He became very angry and didn't want to talk with me.
Now I'm by myself and very upset. Well, if I can't share my thoughts and anecdotes from the way with him, then who?? I've talked with a lot of people about it, but they quickly change the subject, and I don't want them to be annoyed by me, so I don't do it too often either.
Am I crazy? The one man which I shared the whole experience with, which I actually CHOSE to share my experience with, because he asked me, if he could go with me, don't want to talk with me about it?
After we came home from the way, he spoke so rarely about it, every time he actually did surprised me. I didn't talk about it at that time either, but that was because I was afraid to be too much.
I didn't know I was a pain in the a** all this time.
Have some of you experienced this? What did you do?
Much love from Scandinavia.
My backpack is ready!I'm loving this thread - all the positive replies, the humour and the caring - what has struck me is that we all write as if we are completely normal rather than completely insane - haahahaa
and, did anyone else notice, hidden in the middle of KerryChick's lovely post, she wrote "I have a backpack ready at all times" - oh dear, Camino addicts indeed!!
Hi everyone,
So I walked in aug-sep 2015 with my boyfriend, who I love very deeply. We have been together for 3 years.
I tend to be very enthusiastic about our trip and I love to relive memories with him, or share some news from the way and generally I just like to talk about it. It's becoming a very big part of me, because I grew a lot personally on the way and after, and I want to go again this summer.
But today he dropped this on me; "You talk too much about the Camino. You talk about it at least once every day and it annoys me every time. It makes me not wanting to go with you again." - I tried to explain that I have no other that him to share my thoughts with, because no other would understand. He became very angry and didn't want to talk with me.
Now I'm by myself and very upset. Well, if I can't share my thoughts and anecdotes from the way with him, then who?? I've talked with a lot of people about it, but they quickly change the subject, and I don't want them to be annoyed by me, so I don't do it too often either.
Am I crazy? The one man which I shared the whole experience with, which I actually CHOSE to share my experience with, because he asked me, if he could go with me, don't want to talk with me about it?
After we came home from the way, he spoke so rarely about it, every time he actually did surprised me. I didn't talk about it at that time either, but that was because I was afraid to be too much.
I didn't know I was a pain in the a** all this time.
Have some of you experienced this? What did you do?
Much love from Scandinavia.
Hi everyone,
So I walked in aug-sep 2015 with my boyfriend, who I love very deeply. We have been together for 3 years.
I tend to be very enthusiastic about our trip and I love to relive memories with him, or share some news from the way and generally I just like to talk about it. It's becoming a very big part of me, because I grew a lot personally on the way and after, and I want to go again this summer.
But today he dropped this on me; "You talk too much about the Camino. You talk about it at least once every day and it annoys me every time. It makes me not wanting to go with you again." - I tried to explain that I have no other that him to share my thoughts with, because no other would understand. He became very angry and didn't want to talk with me.
Now I'm by myself and very upset. Well, if I can't share my thoughts and anecdotes from the way with him, then who?? I've talked with a lot of people about it, but they quickly change the subject, and I don't want them to be annoyed by me, so I don't do it too often either.
Am I crazy? The one man which I shared the whole experience with, which I actually CHOSE to share my experience with, because he asked me, if he could go with me, don't want to talk with me about it?
After we came home from the way, he spoke so rarely about it, every time he actually did surprised me. I didn't talk about it at that time either, but that was because I was afraid to be too much.
I didn't know I was a pain in the a** all this time.
Have some of you experienced this? What did you do?
Much love from Scandinavia.
Hi everyone,
So I walked in aug-sep 2015 with my boyfriend, who I love very deeply. We have been together for 3 years.
I tend to be very enthusiastic about our trip and I love to relive memories with him, or share some news from the way and generally I just like to talk about it. It's becoming a very big part of me, because I grew a lot personally on the way and after, and I want to go again this summer.
But today he dropped this on me; "You talk too much about the Camino. You talk about it at least once every day and it annoys me every time. It makes me not wanting to go with you again." - I tried to explain that I have no other that him to share my thoughts with, because no other would understand. He became very angry and didn't want to talk with me.
Now I'm by myself and very upset. Well, if I can't share my thoughts and anecdotes from the way with him, then who?? I've talked with a lot of people about it, but they quickly change the subject, and I don't want them to be annoyed by me, so I don't do it too often either.
Am I crazy? The one man which I shared the whole experience with, which I actually CHOSE to share my experience with, because he asked me, if he could go with me, don't want to talk with me about it?
After we came home from the way, he spoke so rarely about it, every time he actually did surprised me. I didn't talk about it at that time either, but that was because I was afraid to be too much.
I didn't know I was a pain in the a** all this time.
Have some of you experienced this? What did you do?
Much love from Scandinavia.
Very, very true. And to Skandinaviangirl, I also go with the advice to write about it. Write a blog, write a book, post on the Forum, but do not stifle your wish to communicate your love, feeling, and experiences on the Camino. P. S. I am so fortunate that my husband is as enthusiastic about it as I am, whew!! I can't wait to hear more about your Camino!!
My wife tells me the same thing Now I only talk about the Camino three times a day with her and only three times per week with my work colleagues"..............
Look in the mirror each morning and repeat this Mantra.
My name is xxxx. And I am a Caminoholic.
Then look into your own eyes and smile
Do not discuss the Camino with your partner, friends or family, unless they raise the topic. And even then, mention it just briefly to answer their question.
When you feel the urge to talk Camino and share your experiences...........come here. With all the other addicts.
We understand what you are going throughAnd we love to talk Camino!
This regime is not foolproof, but with discipline and commitment it will be of great assistance to you and help you maintain your Camino passion.
But be careful. It's easy to fall off the wagon
Last night I had dinner in a fancy restaurant with a work colleague and his wife. I confess I talked Camino for a good hour
Buy hey. He works for me.....and I was paying !
And......I'm sure they were very interested. I'm sure. They were ..... Honestly.....
Yes join the Club...and such an exclusive Club it is. I having been walking the Camino from Le Puy to Finisterre on four separate occasions. I have now joined the dots...why do I go back?? Why do any of us go back.?Hi everyone,
So I walked in aug-sep 2015 with my boyfriend, who I love very deeply. We have been together for 3 years.
I tend to be very enthusiastic about our trip and I love to relive memories with him, or share some news from the way and generally I just like to talk about it. It's becoming a very big part of me, because I grew a lot personally on the way and after, and I want to go again this summer.
But today he dropped this on me; "You talk too much about the Camino. You talk about it at least once every day and it annoys me every time. It makes me not wanting to go with you again." - I tried to explain that I have no other that him to share my thoughts with, because no other would understand. He became very angry and didn't want to talk with me.
Now I'm by myself and very upset. Well, if I can't share my thoughts and anecdotes from the way with him, then who?? I've talked with a lot of people about it, but they quickly change the subject, and I don't want them to be annoyed by me, so I don't do it too often either.
Am I crazy? The one man which I shared the whole experience with, which I actually CHOSE to share my experience with, because he asked me, if he could go with me, don't want to talk with me about it?
After we came home from the way, he spoke so rarely about it, every time he actually did surprised me. I didn't talk about it at that time either, but that was because I was afraid to be too much.
I didn't know I was a pain in the a** all this time.
Have some of you experienced this? What did you do?
Much love from Scandinavia.
I'm loving this thread - all the positive replies, the humour and the caring - what has struck me is that we all write as if we are completely normal rather than completely insane - haahahaa
Love love love it! That really did make me LOL!
I'm already rabbiting on ad nauseam to all who care to listen (and probably many who don't!) and we haven't even started our first camino yet.......... a little concerning perhaps??
Or how would you react if I wanted to go the jungle, Antartic! What have you. Would you keep me company, like I kept you company, wether you wanted me to do so or not!Spouse and I went on the CF in 2014. It was life-changing. (As many of you know quite well!) We found ourselves wanting to go back again. And it fell out that we were able to go on the CP this past summer.
One of the blessings of the walk was meeting a wonderfully friendly older gentleman from Quebec. He talked of his prior Camino experiences, and how he talked of it when he got home and his family and friends were like, "Wow. It's great that you had a good trip." (With the subtext of "shut up already.") He and some other pilgrims in his area started a Camino club, so they can now talk to each other about the Camino and not drive everyone else around them crazy.
I find no one that lives very near me (Rio Grande Valley in Texas) who has gone on the Camino, except my wonderful spouse who talks about it with me. The ladies at church have an attraction-avoidance thing with it--sometimes one will ask me about it. Mostly they'd rather not hear about it. I think that, besides being something that I'm telling them and they don't actually share it with me already, there is maybe another issue, that when we blather on about our 4 - 6 week "vacation" as they see it, all they hear is "I get to take long vacations nya nya nya." Even though we don't have any such thoughts in our minds! So I try to put a cork in it with the other ladies. If it weren't for being able to talk to my sweetie I'd go plain crazy with keeping it in.
I second the wise advice the original poster has already received. And it may be that the trip was always hers and when they got there he discovered that he couldn't make it "his" too for some reason or other. Possibly the question could be asked, did we miss doing some things that you were really hoping to do (see a sight, make a side trip?) and maybe in future if we're still seeing each other we could go again and pick up those missed things? We did pay attention on ours to the areas that interest us and that helps the invitee spouse (me, in 2014) to make the pilgrimage their own.
Wishing for your way to be blessed,
Texas Walker
Lovely post Texas Walker….thank you. How blessed you are to be the couple you are. When folks ask me what makes me the happiest? I always answer; "Knowing that both my son and daughter have forever mates".Spouse and I went on the CF in 2014. It was life-changing. (As many of you know quite well!) We found ourselves wanting to go back again. And it fell out that we were able to go on the CP this past summer.
One of the blessings of the walk was meeting a wonderfully friendly older gentleman from Quebec. He talked of his prior Camino experiences, and how he talked of it when he got home and his family and friends were like, "Wow. It's great that you had a good trip." (With the subtext of "shut up already.") He and some other pilgrims in his area started a Camino club, so they can now talk to each other about the Camino and not drive everyone else around them crazy.
I find no one that lives very near me (Rio Grande Valley in Texas) who has gone on the Camino, except my wonderful spouse who talks about it with me. The ladies at church have an attraction-avoidance thing with it--sometimes one will ask me about it. Mostly they'd rather not hear about it. I think that, besides being something that I'm telling them and they don't actually share it with me already, there is maybe another issue, that when we blather on about our 4 - 6 week "vacation" as they see it, all they hear is "I get to take long vacations nya nya nya." Even though we don't have any such thoughts in our minds! So I try to put a cork in it with the other ladies. If it weren't for being able to talk to my sweetie I'd go plain crazy with keeping it in.
I second the wise advice the original poster has already received. And it may be that the trip was always hers and when they got there he discovered that he couldn't make it "his" too for some reason or other. Possibly the question could be asked, did we miss doing some things that you were really hoping to do (see a sight, make a side trip?) and maybe in future if we're still seeing each other we could go again and pick up those missed things? We did pay attention on ours to the areas that interest us and that helps the invitee spouse (me, in 2014) to make the pilgrimage their own.
Wishing for your way to be blessed,
Texas Walker
Hi everyone,
So I walked in aug-sep 2015 with my boyfriend, who I love very deeply. We have been together for 3 years.
I tend to be very enthusiastic about our trip and I love to relive memories with him, or share some news from the way and generally I just like to talk about it. It's becoming a very big part of me, because I grew a lot personally on the way and after, and I want to go again this summer.
But today he dropped this on me; "You talk too much about the Camino. You talk about it at least once every day and it annoys me every time. It makes me not wanting to go with you again." - I tried to explain that I have no other that him to share my thoughts with, because no other would understand. He became very angry and didn't want to talk with me.
Now I'm by myself and very upset. Well, if I can't share my thoughts and anecdotes from the way with him, then who?? I've talked with a lot of people about it, but they quickly change the subject, and I don't want them to be annoyed by me, so I don't do it too often either.
Am I crazy? The one man which I shared the whole experience with, which I actually CHOSE to share my experience with, because he asked me, if he could go with me, don't want to talk with me about it?
After we came home from the way, he spoke so rarely about it, every time he actually did surprised me. I didn't talk about it at that time either, but that was because I was afraid to be too much.
I didn't know I was a pain in the a** all this time.
Have some of you experienced this? What did you do?
Much love from Scandinavia.
I m with you - get a new BF. Someone as crazy for the Camino as you are. They will understand you way more.Hi Skandinaviangirl,
As a male, here are my thoughts, take them for what it's worth. I am a 'straight shooter' and tend not to 'fluff' my responses, calling a spade a spade. Please don't mistake that for insincerity, I still aim for peace on earth and want everybody to get along.
My 'tongue in cheek' ~ knee jerk response is to suggest getting a new BF . . . . But that is likely a bit overboard (?) . . . That said, writing in a journal and hoping it will go away is, from my perspective, not going to solve the issue either.
It seems that, between the two of you, you absorb and value experiences differently ? I'm not sure how much time you spend with him on a day to day basis, but these differences might become more obvious as time goes along. Was walking the Camino together one of the first times you were together 24/7 ? I perceive that kind of 'intense' exposure can bring things to the forefront that are not necessarily obvious compared to meeting up a couple of times a week for dinner/movies etc.
If you are thinking the BF might become your Life Partner in the future you want to make sure your values match, or at least you're able to respect each others . . . ?
I wish you all the best, health and above all, happiness !
Buen Camino
I like that Tom!I do not profess to having all the answers. I DO have a lot of questions though. Along the way, I learned that life is about finding answers to as many questions as possible while on "this side of the sod..."
It is nice to know that there are many, many affected folks around the world. Maybe we should form CA (Camino Anonymous)?
I am mostly serious.We could have friends of "Jim" (aka Santiago or St. James) in chapters all over the world. Hmmm?
On second thought, maybe we should start a CA (Camino Anonymous thread here in the Forum? Yes, I know that is what the Forum, writ large, is all about. What I am suggesting is a specific "place" in the Forum where all members (only) can come to share feelings, experienced adjustment problems and solutions. While there are specific threads for all type of rucksacks and gear, footwear, rain gear, directions; opinions on lodging, routes etc., I missed it if there is already a specific place to go to more privately to "share and vent" and to seek support for the psychological aspects of our shared "malady." I know about private conversations. But I am wondering where one might go on the Forum to share with only some members... Just thinking out loud...
Moreover, if a directory were made available here on the Forum, then affected members would know where to go to be supported and renewed wherever in the world they might be. Hmmm, note to Ivar, if such a place does not exist, perhaps one could be created, with an additional user ID and different password (an inner ring as it were) for Forum members who desire to register to get into the "CA circle."
This "inner ring" would need to be firewalled from being included in any search engine or social media content. If it cannot be so protected, we ought not do it. Privacy must be stronger. That is why I do not use my real name, but a different user ID here in the forum. When I discovered early on that using my name in a Google search would bring up every Forum post, I immediately changed my user name.
With all due respect to others dealing with substance addiction and abuse disorders, the emotional aspects of being affected by "Caminoitis" or "Sanitago Syndrome" can also be life-altering. Sometimes this is good. However, and as others have commented above, sometimes the results can be unpredictable on relationships, especially with others who have not done it, do not "get it," or who may have done it and not caught "the bug." I imagine that relationships have ended over Caminoitis.
In this vein, I have commented from time to time in carious threads and posts that, that doing a full full Camino for month or so, is not unlike having been in combat or some other dire, stressful situation. The common thread is that,unless you have experienced it first-hand, you cannot possibly understand.
I DO NOT mean to equate being a pilgrim with being a combat soldier. I DO intend to explain that the psychic affects of the month on The Way can affect you, and your outlook on life profoundly, and FOR LIFE. THAT is the common thread.
I have been there. I know from first-hand experience that there are things you can share with a military veteran that you cannot share with someone who has not "been there, done that." I hope you understand where I am coming from.
We ALL need an outlet for discussion and sharing these, sometimes more personal issues. The Forum could / maybe be used as a critical link in that personal support chain. If I did not have it, I do not know how I would make it from journey to journey. I NEED my daily dose of the Camino Fortum! I am compelled to help others and "keep my oar in..." It is just a thought...
I do not profess to having all the answers. I DO have a lot of questions though. Along the way, I learned that life is about finding answers to as many questions as possible while on "this side of the sod..."
As always, I hope this helps...
Hi everyone,
So I walked in aug-sep 2015 with my boyfriend, who I love very deeply. We have been together for 3 years.
I tend to be very enthusiastic about our trip and I love to relive memories with him, or share some news from the way and generally I just like to talk about it. It's becoming a very big part of me, because I grew a lot personally on the way and after, and I want to go again this summer.
But today he dropped this on me; "You talk too much about the Camino. You talk about it at least once every day and it annoys me every time. It makes me not wanting to go with you again." - I tried to explain that I have no other that him to share my thoughts with, because no other would understand. He became very angry and didn't want to talk with me.
Now I'm by myself and very upset. Well, if I can't share my thoughts and anecdotes from the way with him, then who?? I've talked with a lot of people about it, but they quickly change the subject, and I don't want them to be annoyed by me, so I don't do it too often either.
Am I crazy? The one man which I shared the whole experience with, which I actually CHOSE to share my experience with, because he asked me, if he could go with me, don't want to talk with me about it?
After we came home from the way, he spoke so rarely about it, every time he actually did surprised me. I didn't talk about it at that time either, but that was because I was afraid to be too much.
I didn't know I was a pain in the a** all this time.
Have some of you experienced this? What did you do?
Much love from Scandinavia.
Simple. Kick him into touch. You should be with somebody who makes you laugh,shares your experiences and loves you for the person you are. Just get rid and find someone nicer.hahaha! Join the club!
It is such a life-changing experience for some of us that we tend to just blather about it.
It's hard to rein in the enthusiasm.
I don't think you're a pain in the coo at all!
Keep on talking!
Maybe volunteer?
Help others?
I, and the others know EXACTLY what you are experiencing. There are several very good coping techniques here.
We have a saying here in the US...when the horse throws you off, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and BET BACK ON THE DAMN HORSE!
I do it every year. First, I do a Camino, by myself. Any duration will do, as long as it is a complete route. Then, I volunteer as long as I can spare (and my family will tolerate) at Santiago.
If the truth be told, I would relocate to Santiago and work as a volunteer, like forever, if I had my way. I always get more out of the experience than I put into it. This is true of BOTH the actual Camino and the volunteer work.
These activities help get me through my "off season." During the off season, I am always researching and planning for the next Camino. As you can see, I am also ever-present here in the Forum trying to share my experience and what I have experienced and learned. It is all part of giving back...
Presently, I am seriously thinking of flying into Madrid in early April or at the end of March and walking to Santiago from there. it should take a month, mas o menas...All plans are still TBD. I still need to coordinate my 2016 volunteer activities with he Pilgrim Office.
As I do this, I am trying to maximize my time in Spain without running afoul of the Schengen visa restrictions. As an American, I need a visa if I want to stay more than 90 days in any six-month period. Sheesh, I have independent means and do not need to work. Part of me wonders what all the fuss is about. My presence in Spain is a net gain to the economy. But, rules are rules...and I was always taught to obey the rules...
If anyone else is interested, send me a PM and we can discuss it off-line.
The answer to your dilemma is to be found simply by doing it again...walk another Camino.
I hope this contributes to the dialog.
Yea, me too, my wife says I never shut up about it. Not a day goes bye that I dont talk about it. Fortunately, my son also walked it so we like to talk about it but very quickly change the subject when my wife comes into the room. Even visitors to the house get it. Its a bit like the guy who always wants to show you his holiday snaps, a pain in the butt. Just learn to bite your tongue and talk about something else. Its difficult but it is possibleHi everyone,
So I walked in aug-sep 2015 with my boyfriend, who I love very deeply. We have been together for 3 years.
I tend to be very enthusiastic about our trip and I love to relive memories with him, or share some news from the way and generally I just like to talk about it. It's becoming a very big part of me, because I grew a lot personally on the way and after, and I want to go again this summer.
But today he dropped this on me; "You talk too much about the Camino. You talk about it at least once every day and it annoys me every time. It makes me not wanting to go with you again." - I tried to explain that I have no other that him to share my thoughts with, because no other would understand. He became very angry and didn't want to talk with me.
Now I'm by myself and very upset. Well, if I can't share my thoughts and anecdotes from the way with him, then who?? I've talked with a lot of people about it, but they quickly change the subject, and I don't want them to be annoyed by me, so I don't do it too often either.
Am I crazy? The one man which I shared the whole experience with, which I actually CHOSE to share my experience with, because he asked me, if he could go with me, don't want to talk with me about it?
After we came home from the way, he spoke so rarely about it, every time he actually did surprised me. I didn't talk about it at that time either, but that was because I was afraid to be too much.
I didn't know I was a pain in the a** all this time.
Have some of you experienced this? What did you do?
Much love from Scandinavia.
I would not worry about it; the best and most loving of couples sometimes have very few interests in common. Personalities can complement and enhance each other without sharing enthusiasms. My husband loves motorbikes and flying small planes. I like walking caminos. The friends we make doing those things (usually separately) enlarge our shared world.
AAww, SkandyGirl - this is real Agony Aunt column stuff! All the advice above is prefect - you are a Camino Addict, that is how it is .. your partner isn't, that is also how it is.
It isn't just the Camino addiction you know - there are couples where one is a golf addict, or tennis addict, or 1930's films addict - endless list, you just need to compartmentalise your life a bit .... build up a circle of pilgrims - why not start a pilgrim club where you are? There could be lots of pilgrims in your area who would love to meet and talk, away from their long-suffering partners ... a blog is a good idea, as is writing on here!
I am so much a talkative Camino addict that I could get a job as a room divider at parties!!
So, he went with you ... and why did he invite himself? To support you or .. hmm ..keep you away from strange men? haahahaha. Be honest here, with yourself, did you actually want him to go with you, or in your mind was this your own single personal thing that you wanted to do?
I don't know if I am being helpful at all .... look, the only thing you can do is to find others who are addicts and share with them and - and this is the really important bit! start planning and packing for another Camino all by yourself - the relationship will survive or it won't - there are billions of men, but only one Camino.
It seems that, between the two of you, you absorb and value experiences differently ? I'm not sure how much time you spend with him on a day to day basis, but these differences might become more obvious as time goes along. Was walking the Camino together one of the first times you were together 24/7 ? I perceive that kind of 'intense' exposure can bring things to the forefront that are not necessarily obvious compared to meeting up a couple of times a week for dinner/movies etc.
If you are thinking the BF might become your Life Partner in the future you want to make sure your values match, or at least you're able to respect each others . . . ?
- Og se så at komme afsted til Spanien igen !!!!
Skandinaviagirl:
I have a few questions for you. You can answer any, or all. In fact, any of the rest of you, I'd love to hear your ideas too. Just copy and paste the questions below and go for it.
1. Where is your favorite section of the Camino Frances? Why do you think it was your favorite?
2. Do you think you would do well walking alone, for hours? Or would you prefer to be with someone?
3. When you walked with your boyfriend, how did he treat others? how did he treat you?
4. Do you feel like you can make a plan to walk again? Where would you walk next time?
I can't wait to hear from you again.
Deb
@Skandinaviangirl Of course you do realise that this Forum is merely another form of the Camino addiction
As you can tell by the avalanche of posts. The members here will talk endlessly about any topic you care to mention, as long as the word Camino appears at least once
Visited Santiago as tourist 2004
Pilgrim 2005, 2006
Hospitalera training 2008
Volunteer hospitalera 2010, 2012
2016 still remembering, dreaming ...
...!
CanPete, thank you for your reply. We do not live together, but we do spend a lot of time together. Occasionally 24/7 for a period of time, sometimes only a few hours twice a week. We have a very different schedule, but we try to get as much time together as possible. We won't move in together before we are married. The Camino was intense for us, but not in a bad way. We loved it. I'm not saying we didn't fight at all, all couple do their lot of fighting, but most of the time we were very happy.
I think your observation about absorbing experiences differently is correct. We do have different perspectives and learned very different lessons, nevertheless we both feel like we had the time of our lives.
Yes, we are both thinking about becoming life partners, and our values do match (we did make sure of that a long time ago), I just think he doesn't have the same interest in re-living the whole thing again and again and again, as I do.
Again, thank you very much. Your reply made me reflect upon my relationship with him, and I found out, I'm totally sticking with him.
- Skandinaviangirl
Hi everyone,
So I walked in aug-sep 2015 with my boyfriend, who I love very deeply. We have been together for 3 years.
I tend to be very enthusiastic about our trip and I love to relive memories with him, or share some news from the way and generally I just like to talk about it. It's becoming a very big part of me, because I grew a lot personally on the way and after, and I want to go again this summer.
But today he dropped this on me; "You talk too much about the Camino. You talk about it at least once every day and it annoys me every time. It makes me not wanting to go with you again." - I tried to explain that I have no other that him to share my thoughts with, because no other would understand. He became very angry and didn't want to talk with me.
Now I'm by myself and very upset. Well, if I can't share my thoughts and anecdotes from the way with him, then who?? I've talked with a lot of people about it, but they quickly change the subject, and I don't want them to be annoyed by me, so I don't do it too often either.
Am I crazy? The one man which I shared the whole experience with, which I actually CHOSE to share my experience with, because he asked me, if he could go with me, don't want to talk with me about it?
After we came home from the way, he spoke so rarely about it, every time he actually did surprised me. I didn't talk about it at that time either, but that was because I was afraid to be too much.
I didn't know I was a pain in the a** all this time.
Have some of you experienced this? What did you do?
Much love from Scandinavia.
Hi. I'm doing the Camino Aug/Sept this year. Very excited. What was the weather like I'm hoping it won't be mid 30s every dayHi everyone,
So I walked in aug-sep 2015 with my boyfriend, who I love very deeply. We have been together for 3 years.
I tend to be very enthusiastic about our trip and I love to relive memories with him, or share some news from the way and generally I just like to talk about it. It's becoming a very big part of me, because I grew a lot personally on the way and after, and I want to go again this summer.
But today he dropped this on me; "You talk too much about the Camino. You talk about it at least once every day and it annoys me every time. It makes me not wanting to go with you again." - I tried to explain that I have no other that him to share my thoughts with, because no other would understand. He became very angry and didn't want to talk with me.
Now I'm by myself and very upset. Well, if I can't share my thoughts and anecdotes from the way with him, then who?? I've talked with a lot of people about it, but they quickly change the subject, and I don't want them to be annoyed by me, so I don't do it too often either.
Am I crazy? The one man which I shared the whole experience with, which I actually CHOSE to share my experience with, because he asked me, if he could go with me, don't want to talk with me about it?
After we came home from the way, he spoke so rarely about it, every time he actually did surprised me. I didn't talk about it at that time either, but that was because I was afraid to be too much.
I didn't know I was a pain in the a** all this time.
Have some of you experienced this? What did you do?
Much love from Scandinavia.
I have not even walked the Camino yet and I am an adict! I leave on March 15 from New England and head to Pamplona... it's all I can think and talk about! Great advice from the Camino Veterans... post in this most awesome forum... Here there are thousands of Camino adictsHi everyone,
So I walked in aug-sep 2015 with my boyfriend, who I love very deeply. We have been together for 3 years.
I tend to be very enthusiastic about our trip and I love to relive memories with him, or share some news from the way and generally I just like to talk about it. It's becoming a very big part of me, because I grew a lot personally on the way and after, and I want to go again this summer.
But today he dropped this on me; "You talk too much about the Camino. You talk about it at least once every day and it annoys me every time. It makes me not wanting to go with you again." - I tried to explain that I have no other that him to share my thoughts with, because no other would understand. He became very angry and didn't want to talk with me.
Now I'm by myself and very upset. Well, if I can't share my thoughts and anecdotes from the way with him, then who?? I've talked with a lot of people about it, but they quickly change the subject, and I don't want them to be annoyed by me, so I don't do it too often either.
Am I crazy? The one man which I shared the whole experience with, which I actually CHOSE to share my experience with, because he asked me, if he could go with me, don't want to talk with me about it?
After we came home from the way, he spoke so rarely about it, every time he actually did surprised me. I didn't talk about it at that time either, but that was because I was afraid to be too much.
I didn't know I was a pain in the a** all this time.
Have some of you experienced this? What did you do?
Much love from Scandinavia.
I walked the Camino Frances in May/June in 2014 and again last year. Both times it was mid 30's almost every day, so you can expect it much of the time in August/September too. That is why many people start early to be finished around lunchtime and avoid the really hot afternoons.Hi. I'm doing the Camino Aug/Sept this year. Very excited. What was the weather like I'm hoping it won't be mid 30s every day
Hi everyone,
So I walked in aug-sep 2015 with my boyfriend, who I love very deeply. We have been together for 3 years.
I tend to be very enthusiastic about our trip and I love to relive memories with him, or share some news from the way and generally I just like to talk about it. It's becoming a very big part of me, because I grew a lot personally on the way and after, and I want to go again this summer.
But today he dropped this on me; "You talk too much about the Camino. You talk about it at least once every day and it annoys me every time. It makes me not wanting to go with you again." - I tried to explain that I have no other that him to share my thoughts with, because no other would understand. He became very angry and didn't want to talk with me.
Now I'm by myself and very upset. Well, if I can't share my thoughts and anecdotes from the way with him, then who?? I've talked with a lot of people about it, but they quickly change the subject, and I don't want them to be annoyed by me, so I don't do it too often either.
Am I crazy? The one man which I shared the whole experience with, which I actually CHOSE to share my experience with, because he asked me, if he could go with me, don't want to talk with me about it?
After we came home from the way, he spoke so rarely about it, every time he actually did surprised me. I didn't talk about it at that time either, but that was because I was afraid to be too much.
I didn't know I was a pain in the a** all this time.
Have some of you experienced this? What did you do?
Much love from Scandinavia.
Original post here! Really Important!
FIY
...whether he likes my camino-blathering or not.
...He is not an addict, great (or maybe not?) for him!
Much love from Scandinavia!
Do you know you can get a one year visa for Spain for non-lucrative purposes? http://www.exteriores.gob.es/Consul...o/Documents/documentosvisados/nolucrativa.pdf Interestingly after one year you can apply to renew - renewals are good for 2 years each. After 5 years you can apply for permanent residency.
Hi Kanga, I am doing my first Camino this year starting on May 5 from SJPDP. I am going to the Pilgrim meeting in Sydney next Saturday. I would love to meet you. Will you be there ?My husband has walked many caminos with me but he is like your partner, @Skandinaviangirl - he is just not an enthusiast. He comes with me, he tells everyone, only because he loves me. And enjoys the food. And knows it is good exercise. That's it. So he is not at all interested in talking about it and warns people (and me) that I am a bore on the subject. Which is undoubtedly true; I have learnt to only "talk camino" with those contemplating going or who share my passion.
I would not worry about it; the best and most loving of couples sometimes have very few interests in common. Personalities can complement and enhance each other without sharing enthusiasms. My husband loves motorbikes and flying small planes. I like walking caminos. The friends we make doing those things (usually separately) enlarge our shared world.
David I have a question about the visual you posted. May I send you a PM? Thanks….Maggie
I have been involved in several spiritual journeys in my life that have effectively made changes in my life for the good and I get excited about it. I found after a while I was being a pain in the A**. What I have found in my years of experience I never speak of these things unless asked to do so. My immediate response is " Do you really want to talk about this or are you being polite". If they are truly interested we'll talk. I have traveled much Europe, middle east, Africa, I have a lot of stories, perhaps my children will read them in my journals after I am dead. By the way I am walking my first Camino in March.
I encourage you to write about your experience, thought and learning's. Leave them for others to read and learn about you in their time.
It's our differences, and our tolerance, that make our partnership work.
Like Leonard Cohen (and Lao Tsu) say, "forget your perfect offerings. There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in."
I was first inspired to walk the Camino by the Film "The Way" I couldn't think of anything else for the whole 13 months of planning.
I'd talk, dream, research and plan, impulse buy then change my mind and buy something different, but never really knew what was ahead of me... the emotional highs and lows the real feeling of muscle pain and blisters to be honest I had no idea why I had and still have such a passion for the Camino...
My first Camino was in May 2012 my second May 2015 and am planning my next Camino for June 2018 and I am as excited now as I was on my first.
I do find that people around me switch off, out of either not having done the Camino or and not understanding the passionate pull it has on me, whether it is the soul searching, fitness and self satisfaction of such an achievement or just the walking with like minded people or alone to reflect when the need takes you... "I haven't a clue" but the longing to be on the Camino is with me every day.
I can only explain my feelings and memories of the Camino... To me it's like falling in love for the first time and feeling of wanting to spend every minute of every day together and day dreaming of it when your apart...
What ever the thoughts and reactions of some of the people around you when your inner passion for the Camino flows can be a bit like a slap around the face with a wet fish..."Chin up...! take a Deep breath and carry on Planning your next Camino"
Buen Camino
Bryan
I am doing my first Camino this year starting on May 5 from SJPDP
I spent much of my US government career as an immigration officer.
@Misfitter, hi.
I plan to start at Le Puy in southern central France very early April.
And hope to pass through SJPdP late April/early May. I most probably will NOT have a glass (of cranberry juice, of course) held to my lips, except in the evenings. However my golden locks (as they were) will be visible, as will my full facial set. We may catch up.
Seeing you are from Sydney you may care to get quite a bit of hill work (both up and down) into your training schedule to help make the first few days a little bit easier.
Buen camino. Kia kaha.
Hi everyone,
So I walked in aug-sep 2015 with my boyfriend, who I love very deeply. We have been together for 3 years.
I tend to be very enthusiastic about our trip and I love to relive memories with him, or share some news from the way and generally I just like to talk about it. It's becoming a very big part of me, because I grew a lot personally on the way and after, and I want to go again this summer.
But today he dropped this on me; "You talk too much about the Camino. You talk about it at least once every day and it annoys me every time. It makes me not wanting to go with you again." - I tried to explain that I have no other that him to share my thoughts with, because no other would understand. He became very angry and didn't want to talk with me.
Now I'm by myself and very upset. Well, if I can't share my thoughts and anecdotes from the way with him, then who?? I've talked with a lot of people about it, but they quickly change the subject, and I don't want them to be annoyed by me, so I don't do it too often either.
Am I crazy? The one man which I shared the whole experience with, which I actually CHOSE to share my experience with, because he asked me, if he could go with me, don't want to talk with me about it?
After we came home from the way, he spoke so rarely about it, every time he actually did surprised me. I didn't talk about it at that time either, but that was because I was afraid to be too much.
I didn't know I was a pain in the a** all this time.
Have some of you experienced this? What did you do?
Much love from Scandinavia.
I have been involved in several spiritual journeys in my life that have effectively made changes in my life for the good and I get excited about it. I found after a while I was being a pain in the A**. What I have found in my years of experience I never speak of these things unless asked to do so. ....
maybe this should be by PM
You know what partially moved me towards going on my firat camino-starting apr.1,2016 ? None of my friends said so, but I realized , all I talked about before, to everyone, cuz it consumed my life, was my work, soooooo, you surround yourself with people who are happy to hear you talk about something that makes you happy!!! If not him, an old friend, a new friend, or a Camino Forum Friend. You Sing on Girl !!! It beats all the sadness in this world being spread!!! GypsywindHi everyone,
So I walked in aug-sep 2015 with my boyfriend, who I love very deeply. We have been together for 3 years.
I tend to be very enthusiastic about our trip and I love to relive memories with him, or share some news from the way and generally I just like to talk about it. It's becoming a very big part of me, because I grew a lot personally on the way and after, and I want to go again this summer.
But today he dropped this on me; "You talk too much about the Camino. You talk about it at least once every day and it annoys me every time. It makes me not wanting to go with you again." - I tried to explain that I have no other that him to share my thoughts with, because no other would understand. He became very angry and didn't want to talk with me.
Now I'm by myself and very upset. Well, if I can't share my thoughts and anecdotes from the way with him, then who?? I've talked with a lot of people about it, but they quickly change the subject, and I don't want them to be annoyed by me, so I don't do it too often either.
Am I crazy? The one man which I shared the whole experience with, which I actually CHOSE to share my experience with, because he asked me, if he could go with me, don't want to talk with me about it?
After we came home from the way, he spoke so rarely about it, every time he actually did surprised me. I didn't talk about it at that time either, but that was because I was afraid to be too much.
I didn't know I was a pain in the a** all this time.
Have some of you experienced this? What did you do?
Much love from Scandinavia.
For what it's worth, I relate my experience flying home from Madrid after the CF in 2014. First, it was apparently a time of heightened fussiness and passport-watching. (Fourth of July time frame.) Second, when they did pre-check in the airport line, it was an issue when they looked at our passports and saw that we'd checked in at Biarritz in France some 5 weeks or so previous, and now here we were in Madrid leaving and no passport stamps between. (Hey, they can always put a kiosk with an officer on that cattle guard in the Pyrenees if they want. I wouldn't mind!) But then the lady looked at our Camino Tee shirts and said, oh, the Camino. They asked for our Camino passports and then put their heads together over our passports and our Credeciales and then came back and said, It's OK. And gave our our collection of Security stickers. Which promptly tried to come off of the packs!Yes, I have “been there done that.” However, the application process is not easy or quick. I have researched the matter thoroughly. \
According to my research, you apply for a "visa for retirement." It allows you to live indefinitely in Spain, but as all other long-stay visas has to be renewed annually. There is (of course) a fee and a form attached. But the renewal is usually handled locally, likely at the police station. The major stipulation is that you must prove independent means, that you will NOT need to work in Spain.
Just obtaining the required police background check certification from the FBI, here in the US, can take from nine-months to a year. Then it must be translated into Spanish by an official, Embassy-approved translator. And THAT is exclusive of the Spanish visa process. But they will not accept your application package without the required certification.
The original application must be made at the Spanish Embassy or Consulate near where you live. When I lived in Northern Virginia, that would have been the Embassy in Washington. Now that I live in Southern Florida, I must go to the Consulate General at Miami. The Spanish Embassy website for your country will advise you where to make application according to your place of residence.
FTI / BTW: Here, in Florida, it is possible to hire an Embassy-approved attorney who can handle the entire visa process for me, at a significant cost...naturally. So, I am avoiding that if possible.
So, needs must. At least for this year, I choose to use my many frequent flyer miles to offset some of the costs involved in flying back and forth to Spain several times this year. I will confer with officials in Spain while I am there to find out if there is perhaps an easier, but legal way to obtain whatever permission I would need to remain for longer block of time, to work as a volunteer.
I spent much of my US government career as an immigration officer. So I well understand the rules, how to negotiate them, and when to comply rigidly with them. Perhaps Santiago has friends in far-away places? Who can say? But, I do prefer to stay on the sunny side of all laws. After all, we are all visitors in Spain. We are bound to comply with their laws.
In this regard, I have a simple, technical question. Perhaps one of our colleagues in Europe can answer the question, or can ask a friend or relative who can provide a clear answer. Here goes:
PREMISE:
I know for a fact, based on professional experience and research, that ALL persons entering the Schengen Area from outside the Schengen area have their identity checked against multiple, Schengen-wide, European-wide, and worldwide lists (databases) of "wanted persons." Countries share this information to form a “dragnet.” Interpol and Europe are key players in this effort.
I also know for a fact that all passport control officers are "supposed" to review ALL your entry and exit stamps every time you enter or lease the Schengen Area to identify visa overstays. Think so? Do pay attention next time!
POINT QUESTION:
Does anyone know for a FACT, if the passports of ALL persons entering ANY Schengen nation are electronically "read" against a master database, shared by ALL Schengen nations in real-time, of all travelers coming or going to or from any place in the Schengen area from outside the Schengen Area? This is exclusive of the database check to identify criminals or other wanted persons.
CLARIFIER:
We all know that one "swipe" or read of your passport can be used to compare the identity information against many databases at one time.
I am seeking to determine if the Schengen travel area, or the EU is currently maintaining a master database of ALL arrival and departure from all Schengen or EU countries in real-time.
FYI and by comparison, the UK, Canada, and the US (among many other nations around the world) maintain a master database that reads each document or arrival and (supposedly but not actually) on departure. The appropriate databases are checked to identify persons of interest. So too, are entry and exit dates checked and elapsed time in the country (area) computed and made available to the Passport Control Officer, in real time.
BOTTOM LINE:
I am assessing the overall Schengen Area passport control function to determine if, say Italy for example, is reporting all arrivals to a central database, and if another country, say Belgium for example, is also reporting all departures from the Schengen area at its airports, so a simple document to document match and date computation can be made.
Finally does anyone know, FOR A FACT, what the situation is regarding passport control at Spanish international airports.
You can draw your own conclusions, but this all relates to the Camino...
I have to laugh that one of the many oddities of the Camino (and incongruities of this forum) is that a quote urging one to go on pilgrimage comes from the same person (Nietzsche) who infamously declared,
For me, I have found this to be the way to go ~ key words being... in their time.I encourage you to write about your experience, thought and learning's. Leave them for others to read and learn about you in their time.
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?