2 week split Camino Frances with the family - April 2019

[Beeks]

HI!

Been lurking since 2016. All sorts of awesome people and information here! I tend to ramble, so apologies.

My wife and I have wanted to walk the Camino Frances with the kids for quite some time. We had originally planned to walk the Sarria - SDC section this year.. WE'D BE WALKING RIGHT NOW! Things fell through and we weren't able to make it this year.

Our reason for walking: spiritual, historical. Compestela - yes please!

We're now planning to go around spring break time next year. Yes, we're going as a family - 54 year old dad, 40-something year old wife with a back injury, an 11 year old daughter, and sons 16 and 18 next year. The kids have traveled with us since my first born was 13 months old (England / Scotland), again when my two boys were 3 and 2 (England / Scotland / France) and various lengthy road trips in Canada and the States. I know parents who travel and leave the kids with grandma. Our kids have always traveled with us and this time will be no different. We've spoken with them extensively about the spiritual nature of walking the Camino and how this is very different from our other trips. My 11 and 16 year old are pretty excited, while my 18 year old thinks it's going to be a lot of walking... kids these days. My 18 year old tends to warm up to things once he actually gets involved. He grumbled about our 25 day Europe trip in 2016 but he had a ton of fun.

So I know a lot of people have said your first walk should be solo for the "supreme life changing experience" or "It's YOUR Camino, not theirs, do it alone" or whatever. While I respect the opinions of those who have actually walked the Camino while I have not, this raises a confusing paradox: If my wife wants to walk the Camino as much as I, do I leave her at home? Or should she leave me at home? I hear so much about the intense Camino friendships and the bond between pilgrims - are these detrimental to the "solo" Camino experience or does the shared hardship bring people closer together, strengthening their relationship? If my opinion on this changes after our Camino, I'll post it here!

So it goes with the family. I'll try to "Dad" less and "peregrino" more... I think when all is said and done, this will be a great family experience. I know many are cringing at the thought! Team Beeks is going to the Camino Frances! I plan on retiring in 3 years or so, and I do plan a solo, complete Camino Frances then. Heck, I wish my parents had taken me on Camino when I was a teen!

We have roughly 2 weeks to actually walk, with some travel days and some days in Madrid post-walk. We originally thought of flying to Madrid, taking the train to Ponferrada the next day, and start our walk day 3. Ponferrada is about the right length, plus my wife is dying to check out the Templar castle there. I really wanted the challenge and beauty of the Pyrenees with a traditional start in St Jean PDP.

Here's the tentative plan: Fly to Madrid, make our way to St. Jean. Start from St. Jean with overnight stops in Orrison, Roncesvalles, Zubiri and Pamplona. Rest day in Pamplona, then train to Sarria. Then, Sarria to SDC with overnight stops in Portomarin, Palas de Rei, Melide, Arzua, O Pedrouzo, then SDC. Rest day in SDC, possibly take the bus to Finisterre to see the lighthouse and explore. Then, train to Ponferrada, then train to Madrid.

Issues: My wife had career ending back surgery in 2009. She is limited on what she can carry and general stress on her back. Considered a bag carrying service, but I want to be flexible in case we need to stop short on any leg of our walk. My daughter is a trooper, for sure, but she will have a light backpack as well, so I'm going to carry extra weight, which I'm glad to do. As a former infantry Marine, carrying a ridiculously heavy backpack while wearing crappy boots is second nature. Of course, that was many moons ago... Conditioning walks starting this summer.

Semana Santa during our walk - should be interesting! Getting a grip on my poor Spanish, should be semi-fluent by then...

My boss thinks I'm being so productive - sorry boss! Anyways, this is my long-winded introduction. I look forward to hearing from y'all - even the flaming posts!

Thanks to Ivar and the moderators for all they do for the community!

Beeks

 

[Deleted member 67185]

Having had two back surgeries on the lower lumbar area, I can attest to the fact that long days of walking -- with or without a pack -- can be painful; the core muscles, including those in the back which support the walking posture and function, are under heavy exercise and stress. Carrying 10 pounds of gear is a separate physical issue from the act of walking. It took me a good deal of time to recover function, and where any significant pain during a long hike or backpacking trip was fairly minimal.

You may have already been doing this, and what I'm saying may be old news, but be sure to gauge how well your wife can handle multiple day walks in a row at the target distance you plan to walk on Camino each day. That will give you a good indication of her reserves.

Surgeries and therapy and recovering muscle function took about two years. I celebrated by backpacking the entire Pacific Crest Trail. Recovery does happen; especially if training is done in conjunction with physical therapy and targeted exercise.

 

[Iriebabel]

Buen Camino hope it will be a fun experience for you and your family

 

[Beeks]

Having had two back surgeries on the lower lumbar area, I can attest to the fact that long days of walking -- with or without a pack -- can be painful; the core muscles, including those in the back which support the walking posture and function, are under heavy exercise and stress. Carrying 10 pounds of gear is a separate physical issue from the act of walking. It took me a good deal of time to recover function, and where any significant pain during a long hike or backpacking trip was fairly minimal.

You may have already been doing this, and what I'm saying may be old news, but be sure to gauge how well your wife can handle multiple day walks in a row at the target distance you plan to walk on Camino each day. That will give you a good indication of her reserves.

Surgeries and therapy and recovering muscle function took about two years. I celebrated by backpacking the entire Pacific Crest Trail. Recovery does happen; especially if training is done in conjunction with physical therapy and targeted exercise.

Dave... Wise words from a fellow back surgery veteran... She walks a lot... She says "We were covering lots of miles in Europe, I'll be fine." I told her this is a much different style of walking, much more intense. She really wants to do this, for a variety of reasons. She may even walk without a pack, with her contents split amongst the men. She's waiting to see how she does on her training walks.

A tip of my cap for completing the PCT!

 

[Beeks]

Buen Camino hope it will be a fun experience for you and your family

Thank you!

 

[Kiwi-family]

My 85yo father-in-law walked post-spinal-surgery and an infection/abcess that nearly killed him. Make sure your wife is walking the distances you plan to cover BEFORE you go at home. F-i-l/Grandpa took months to work up to being able to walk.
Enlist your kids to carry your wife's gear (our kids aged 11-15 helped me carry Grandpa's gear).
Absolutely take your kids. We took all (eight) of ours for our first camino and are so glad to have done so as they are not all in a position to join us anymore (at the moment anyway).
I then returned with four of them a couple of times (and daddy joined us for a couple of weeks each time), plus I walked with just hubby for our 25th wedding anniversay (different routes/combinations of routes each time - Frances, Voie de la Nive, Baztan, Salvador, Primitivo, Finisterre, Portuguese).
In September I get to do my first SOLO camino (Madrid) and then the youngest three kids and Daddy join me for another Salvador/Primitivo (first time for Daddy).
A solo camino will wait. Your kids will not - they grow up. I would not have any hesitancy about taking them in your situation right now.
I would suggest walking an extra day instead of taking the bus to Finisterre. (Perhaps because I live by the sea, it was not all that spectacular to me, but I think it is better arrived at on foot - save it for your solo walk!)

 

[VNwalking]

Welcome out of the shadows, Beeks!

If my wife wants to walk the Camino as much as I, do I leave her at home? Or should she leave me at home? I hear so much about the intense Camino friendships and the bond between pilgrims - are these detrimental to the "solo" Camino experience or does the shared hardship bring people closer together, strengthening their relationship?

NO! ( Sorry to yell...but...) Please: no-one should leave anyone at home, especially as you both want to go! Don't worry. Together or separately you will bond with people.

I can't speak to relationship, but I can to friendship - and it's definitely a 'bonding' experience!
But it can be confronting; with the relentlessness of the daily walking, all sorts of snakes can come out of holes. But if you are willing and able (and both open enough) to constructively process this stuff together - great.

One compromise that I have found helpful is to start and end the days (or at least mornings) together but maybe not to walk together if you have different paces and rhythms - for example, maybe one person wants to power through and have a long time at the day's destination, while the other wants to stop at every possible place and arrive later. Or maybe one person loves to sleep late and have a slow morning while the other is an early-bird who's out the door 5 minutes after getting up.
There are a lot of little differences that can grate after a while. So each day you can decide how to work with that. 'Meet you for lunch at Xxxx town' or 'See you tonight at Yyyy Albergue...' can reduce a ton of potential friction.

Absolutely take your kids.
A solo camino will wait. Your kids will not - they grow up.

I have no idea about walking with kids, but @Kiwi-family surely knows whereof she speaks.

 

[Beeks]

My 85yo father-in-law walked post-spinal-surgery and an infection/abcess that nearly killed him. Make sure your wife is walking the distances you plan to cover BEFORE you go at home. F-i-l/Grandpa took months to work up to being able to walk.
Enlist your kids to carry your wife's gear (our kids aged 11-15 helped me carry Grandpa's gear).
Absolutely take your kids. We took all (eight) of ours for our first camino and are so glad to have done so as they are not all in a position to join us anymore (at the moment anyway).
I then returned with four of them a couple of times (and daddy joined us for a couple of weeks each time), plus I walked with just hubby for our 25th wedding anniversay (different routes/combinations of routes each time - Frances, Voie de la Nive, Baztan, Salvador, Primitivo, Finisterre, Portuguese).
In September I get to do my first SOLO camino (Madrid) and then the youngest three kids and Daddy join me for another Salvador/Primitivo (first time for Daddy).
A solo camino will wait. Your kids will not - they grow up. I would not have any hesitancy about taking them in your situation right now.
I would suggest walking an extra day instead of taking the bus to Finisterre. (Perhaps because I live by the sea, it was not all that spectacular to me, but I think it is better arrived at on foot - save it for your solo walk!)

Wow...8 kids? You're my hero! Yeah, the oldest is probably headed to the military in the summer next year, then my other son will start college the year after... Our last family vacation for some time, I'm sure!

Thanks for the inspiration and great advice!

 

[Beeks]

My 85yo father-in-law walked post-spinal-surgery and an infection/abcess that nearly killed him. Make sure your wife is walking the distances you plan to cover BEFORE you go at home. F-i-l/Grandpa took months to work up to being able to walk.
Enlist your kids to carry your wife's gear (our kids aged 11-15 helped me carry Grandpa's gear).
Absolutely take your kids. We took all (eight) of ours for our first camino and are so glad to have done so as they are not all in a position to join us anymore (at the moment anyway).
I then returned with four of them a couple of times (and daddy joined us for a couple of weeks each time), plus I walked with just hubby for our 25th wedding anniversay (different routes/combinations of routes each time - Frances, Voie de la Nive, Baztan, Salvador, Primitivo, Finisterre, Portuguese).
In September I get to do my first SOLO camino (Madrid) and then the youngest three kids and Daddy join me for another Salvador/Primitivo (first time for Daddy).
A solo camino will wait. Your kids will not - they grow up. I would not have any hesitancy about taking them in your situation right now.
I would suggest walking an extra day instead of taking the bus to Finisterre. (Perhaps because I live by the sea, it was not all that spectacular to me, but I think it is better arrived at on foot - save it for your solo walk!)

Oh yeah, my wife is a lighthouse aficionado and seeing a lighthouse in Spain is a must! We live by the ocean as well

 

[Beeks]

Welcome out of the shadows, Beeks!

NO! ( Sorry to yell...but...) Please: no-one should leave anyone at home, especially as you both want to go! Don't worry. Together or separately you will bond with people.

I can't speak to relationship, but I can to friendship - and it's definitely a 'bonding' experience!
But it can be confronting; with the relentlessness of the daily walking, all sorts of snakes can come out of holes. But if you are willing and able (and both open enough) to constructively process this stuff together - great.

One compromise that I have found helpful is to start and end the days (or at least mornings) together but maybe not to walk together if you have different paces and rhythms - for example, maybe one person wants to power through and have a long time at the day's destination, while the other wants to stop at every possible place and arrive later. Or maybe one person loves to sleep late and have a slow morning while the other is an early-bird who's out the door 5 minutes after getting up.
There are a lot of little differences that can grate after a while. So each day you can decide how to work with that. 'Meet you for lunch at Xxxx town' or 'See you tonight at Yyyy Albergue...' can reduce a ton of potential friction.

I have no idea about walking with kids, but @Kiwi-family surely knows whereof she speaks.

Wise advice...thank you!

 

[VNwalking]

By the way, Beeks...Your avatar?
Heee heeeee heeeeeeee.

(Another Gary Larson fan here)

 

[Miki Goldie]

A great scenario.......very exciting for you all. Take the whole family....what a hoot it'll be for your once in a lifetime pilgrimage. My son asked me to go with him last year . Now we have given 4 library talks together to encourage others. He gives the " what's App" version & I give the more mature walkers' view of things. He needed to do a lot of healing....I would also recommend viewing a "you tube" series of a family of four who will show you how they did it. 'Worldtowning'. I have no affiliation with them but they were insightful.
Buen Camino mi amigo....
Love

 

[Beeks]

Miki... how old is your son...? Hopefully, this is just the first of many caminos...! Retiring in a few years, and already looking forward to a full and proper camino. I'm hoping the kids get inspired and will return!

Thanks for the Youtube tip...!

 

[Kiwi-family]

Suggestion: why not train to Ponferada from Pamplona and then to Sarria? Will save you travel time and money.
Maybe try to have enough time to walk between Finisterre and Muxia after your Camino and your wife will be happy to see two lighthouses!

 

[Beeks]

Kiwi... We considered that... however, our current schedule has us arriving in SDC on Saturday April 20, and the following day celebrating Easter in SDC.

Seems the lighthouses are going to wait until a full camino after I retire in a few years!

 

[C clearly]

So I know a lot of people have said your first walk should be solo

This advice is often given to people who either are nervous about walking alone, or are trying to convince someone else who is less enthusiastic, and they need the encouragement to understand that walking alone is a special experience. Walking with family would also be a special experience - an opportunity to walk with them should not be passed up! I don't remember anyone ever suggesting that a family member be left at home if they really want to come, and can do so! [Edited to add: An exception could be when an individual has a strong and sincere "need" to walk alone, for whatever reason.]

"supreme life changing experience"... intense Camino friendships ... shared hardship

This would be an over-statement for many of us, even those of us who come back every year and spend hours here in the forum. Don't go expecting it.

 

[vegoodrich]

Hi Beeks! I've been fortunate enough to do a solo and family trip on the Frances. They were both wonderful and different. I met an amazingly diverse crowd of people both times. Go with the family ;-)

If you are interested I shared our journey in this post, your kids might enjoy seeing pictures of other kids on the Camino ;-)
https://www.caminodesantiago.me/community/threads/frances-in-october-with-2-daughters.51610/

If you have any questions specific to traveling as a family, kids gear, etc, just let me know! Both of my girls want to go back, I consider that a successful trip.

Buen Camino!
Val

 

[Via2010]

Hi,

I have done various Caminos. Some with my parents, then in their late 60s/early 70s. One with my mom and my nephew (10 years at that time) and two on my own. Everyone had its own merits.

I really enjoyed being that close to my parents though it meant that the weakest of us determined the daily stages and that we were to reflect and to discuss some of my less favourable childhood memories (e.g.. my mum never understood why it was so important for me to have clothes of the brand "all" other children at school had; she put much effort in sewing beautiful dresses and skirts for me and my sister which made us feel like fallen out of time/space; I suffered a lot when I was a teenager but nowadays I think it made me stronger and more independent of the opinion of others). I never spend that much time with my dad before and we built a really good relationship while walking together.

Walking with my nephew was also a great experience. We repeated a part of the CF which I had walked with my parents before. It showed me that children have a different sight on things and it showed me that walking the way a second time is a different thing. You can not repeat emotions/expierences.

So was the experience on my first solo camino. I walked the Camino Portugues from Porto a second time. Feeling only responsible for myselves gave me an incredible freedom but also some frightening experiences of lonelyness. After 3 days - on my birthday - I wanted to return home and later I was glad that I did not.

This year, the Camino Primitivo was the first camino which I walked on my own and had not walked before. So it was a completely new experience and gave me a lot of self-confidence.

BC
Alexandra

 

[Miki Goldie]

Miki... how old is your son...? Hopefully, this is just the first of many caminos...! Retiring in a few years, and already looking forward to a full and proper camino. I'm hoping the kids get inspired and will return!

Thanks for the Youtube tip...![/QUOTE
Hi there Beeks
My son was 34 and turned 35 in October...I was basically there for the dinero backup for him but for me he was very kind as I twisted my knee and had to finish my quest after Leon/ St Martin. I then bused to different spots and waited for him. He was amazing and once did 50 klms near the end. He always regrets not walking to Muxia- Finistere as we flew out to Zurich from SdC. He got his Compostela & 800 distance certificate. He was grieving for 4 miscarriages from 2016_2018. He now has a new baby girl born in August this year.
So I walked the whole 920 klms this year from SJPdP on my own. He knew exactly where I was & what it was like. I've become addicted to the Caminos since retiring & have done 3 in a row. Next year Lisboa to SC. BOM Caminho
Love

 

[notion900]

I like your plan to start at Ponferrada better. The Pyrenees may be just too hard for someone with a bad back.

 

[Former member 49149]

HI!

Been lurking since 2016. All sorts of awesome people and information here! I tend to ramble, so apologies.

My wife and I have wanted to walk the Camino Frances with the kids for quite some time. We had originally planned to walk the Sarria - SDC section this year.. WE'D BE WALKING RIGHT NOW! Things fell through and we weren't able to make it this year.

Our reason for walking: spiritual, historical. Compestela - yes please!

We're now planning to go around spring break time next year. Yes, we're going as a family - 54 year old dad, 40-something year old wife with a back injury, an 11 year old daughter, and sons 16 and 18 next year. The kids have traveled with us since my first born was 13 months old (England / Scotland), again when my two boys were 3 and 2 (England / Scotland / France) and various lengthy road trips in Canada and the States. I know parents who travel and leave the kids with grandma. Our kids have always traveled with us and this time will be no different. We've spoken with them extensively about the spiritual nature of walking the Camino and how this is very different from our other trips. My 11 and 16 year old are pretty excited, while my 18 year old thinks it's going to be a lot of walking... kids these days. My 18 year old tends to warm up to things once he actually gets involved. He grumbled about our 25 day Europe trip in 2016 but he had a ton of fun.

So I know a lot of people have said your first walk should be solo for the "supreme life changing experience" or "It's YOUR Camino, not theirs, do it alone" or whatever. While I respect the opinions of those who have actually walked the Camino while I have not, this raises a confusing paradox: If my wife wants to walk the Camino as much as I, do I leave her at home? Or should she leave me at home? I hear so much about the intense Camino friendships and the bond between pilgrims - are these detrimental to the "solo" Camino experience or does the shared hardship bring people closer together, strengthening their relationship? If my opinion on this changes after our Camino, I'll post it here!

So it goes with the family. I'll try to "Dad" less and "peregrino" more... I think when all is said and done, this will be a great family experience. I know many are cringing at the thought! Team Beeks is going to the Camino Frances! I plan on retiring in 3 years or so, and I do plan a solo, complete Camino Frances then. Heck, I wish my parents had taken me on Camino when I was a teen!

We have roughly 2 weeks to actually walk, with some travel days and some days in Madrid post-walk. We originally thought of flying to Madrid, taking the train to Ponferrada the next day, and start our walk day 3. Ponferrada is about the right length, plus my wife is dying to check out the Templar castle there. I really wanted the challenge and beauty of the Pyrenees with a traditional start in St Jean PDP.

Here's the tentative plan: Fly to Madrid, make our way to St. Jean. Start from St. Jean with overnight stops in Orrison, Roncesvalles, Zubiri and Pamplona. Rest day in Pamplona, then train to Sarria. Then, Sarria to SDC with overnight stops in Portomarin, Palas de Rei, Melide, Arzua, O Pedrouzo, then SDC. Rest day in SDC, possibly take the bus to Finisterre to see the lighthouse and explore. Then, train to Ponferrada, then train to Madrid.

Issues: My wife had career ending back surgery in 2009. She is limited on what she can carry and general stress on her back. Considered a bag carrying service, but I want to be flexible in case we need to stop short on any leg of our walk. My daughter is a trooper, for sure, but she will have a light backpack as well, so I'm going to carry extra weight, which I'm glad to do. As a former infantry Marine, carrying a ridiculously heavy backpack while wearing crappy boots is second nature. Of course, that was many moons ago... Conditioning walks starting this summer.

Semana Santa during our walk - should be interesting! Getting a grip on my poor Spanish, should be semi-fluent by then...

My boss thinks I'm being so productive - sorry boss! Anyways, this is my long-winded introduction. I look forward to hearing from y'all - even the flaming posts!

Thanks to Ivar and the moderators for all they do for the community!

Beeks

A wonderful introduction, thanks for that! You will have already got lots of suggestions. i have just this to say: go as you can. You are already a camino family! Don’t force it - your contribution to the camino - big idea! - will become clear as you walk together. you will give, without even noticing it, to others and you will also receive, by observing and welcoming those you meet. I wish you all the best camino when it happens.

 

[C clearly]

Don’t force it -

Good advice!

 

[Beeks]

C clearly - ["supreme life changing experience"... intense Camino friendships ... shared hardship] - I'll settle for 1 out of 3...?

Val - Awesome photos! You've got the photographer's eye! I think there were only two photos I went "meh"...! I hope to do as well...! Thanks for sharing!

Alexandra - Great experiences, great memories!

Miki - I'm so looking forward to retirement...!

Notion900 - We're breaking up the Pyrenees with a stop at Orisson... Ponferrada will wait until after our walk to visit the castle. Starting at Ponferrada was a consideration: start 10 days out, forget the Pyrenees, and get the compostela. Or, start at St Jean and walk 10 days. Pyrenees. Wine fountain! But, no compostela. Our split plan was a compromise of both plans. The kids also wanted to conquer the mountain!

Kirkie - Thanks for your input!