NJoisygirl
Please enlighten me!
- Time of past OR future Camino
- Camino (2013)
… My Camino would start even before I laid foot on Spanish soil.
I have known about the Camino Santiago de Compostela since I was small, I just always thought/assumed it was out of my reach. Four to five years ago a series of events began that pushed me back towards considering making this pilgrimage.
When I told my husband I needed to DO THIS he immediately told me he wanted to go as well. I was happy he wanted to go. Lately it is becoming evident to me he has NO idea what he is getting himself into. I think he thinks our Camino will be just like the movie, The Way.
Over the past few years I have told him how far things are, how crowded the albergues are; how hot, wet and cold a day walking can be. I have bought books, asked them to read them, left them on his bedside table, then moved them to the bathroom when they went untouched there. When I recently talked about the first stage out of SJPdP over Napoleon’s Way, he seemed stunned that it was 29k. I was shocked! Then mad… did he not listen to one word I said over the years… did he not read ONE word…watch one YouTube link I sent him, join me in any significant time to train?
So I inwardly sulked. I’ve walked almost every morning and evening over the past four years, skipped lunch to save money for our Camino Fund… I could go on and on. Did he not see how much this meant to me? It became very obvious to me that I will not be walking the Camino that I have dreamed and anticipated I would walk. I will most likely not even finish it… my one chance was being ruined (severely compromised) by my husband. I was feeling quite sorry for myself.
A conversation I had with my daughter is helping me snap back into reality… Maybe this IS a “Camino Lesson” for me. Maybe this is not MY Camino, but me being on my husband’s Camino or, better yet, it is US making OUR Camino together. Looking back, I had given him every opportunity to back out of this journey and he insisted he wanted to go… he does seem to be excited about going. Maybe my Camino will come at another time, maybe it will not. Maybe I am just supposed to have a nice, unwinding time walking through the beautiful Spanish countryside at HIS pace and who is to say what is the finish line?
I am an imperfect person, and I am still a bit sad with the reality of the shift in my Camino dream. But I do feel better beginning to view things through a different perspective. Things will be fine and I think it is just the beginning of what I am to learn about myself and my husband.
Please forgive rant, I am not as shallow as re-reading this post makes me seem.
My question is how have others managed to blend two (or more) Camino visions?
I have known about the Camino Santiago de Compostela since I was small, I just always thought/assumed it was out of my reach. Four to five years ago a series of events began that pushed me back towards considering making this pilgrimage.
When I told my husband I needed to DO THIS he immediately told me he wanted to go as well. I was happy he wanted to go. Lately it is becoming evident to me he has NO idea what he is getting himself into. I think he thinks our Camino will be just like the movie, The Way.
Over the past few years I have told him how far things are, how crowded the albergues are; how hot, wet and cold a day walking can be. I have bought books, asked them to read them, left them on his bedside table, then moved them to the bathroom when they went untouched there. When I recently talked about the first stage out of SJPdP over Napoleon’s Way, he seemed stunned that it was 29k. I was shocked! Then mad… did he not listen to one word I said over the years… did he not read ONE word…watch one YouTube link I sent him, join me in any significant time to train?
So I inwardly sulked. I’ve walked almost every morning and evening over the past four years, skipped lunch to save money for our Camino Fund… I could go on and on. Did he not see how much this meant to me? It became very obvious to me that I will not be walking the Camino that I have dreamed and anticipated I would walk. I will most likely not even finish it… my one chance was being ruined (severely compromised) by my husband. I was feeling quite sorry for myself.
A conversation I had with my daughter is helping me snap back into reality… Maybe this IS a “Camino Lesson” for me. Maybe this is not MY Camino, but me being on my husband’s Camino or, better yet, it is US making OUR Camino together. Looking back, I had given him every opportunity to back out of this journey and he insisted he wanted to go… he does seem to be excited about going. Maybe my Camino will come at another time, maybe it will not. Maybe I am just supposed to have a nice, unwinding time walking through the beautiful Spanish countryside at HIS pace and who is to say what is the finish line?
I am an imperfect person, and I am still a bit sad with the reality of the shift in my Camino dream. But I do feel better beginning to view things through a different perspective. Things will be fine and I think it is just the beginning of what I am to learn about myself and my husband.
Please forgive rant, I am not as shallow as re-reading this post makes me seem.
My question is how have others managed to blend two (or more) Camino visions?