mexicokid99
New Member
- Time of past OR future Camino
- 2014
For 2024 Pilgrims: €50,- donation = 1 year with no ads on the forum + 90% off any 2024 Guide. More here. (Discount code sent to you by Private Message after your donation) |
---|
I felt nothing
Memories from first arriving in Santiago de Compostela, November 16, 2004. --
My camino had now become a memory, but a memory I shall treasure forever.
Margaret Meredith
You are not alone. I, too, dragged myself into Santiago that last day. I had not slept well the night before, I was suffering from a sore throat and, what I learned later, was ‘the Camino cough’. It was raining, and had been for days. It was definitely culture shock seeing the crowds in front of the Cathedral and that in-your-face guy selling CD’s. I had walked from SJPP, with the exception of a taxi / bus ride from Villalcázar to Leόn, and another taxi ride from Villafranca to Laguna, but I still felt a fraud collecting my Compostela because I could not summon up the emotion that I probably should have felt upon receiving it. (I realize this last bit must seem blasphemous to some, but it probably had more to do with what I was dealing with at the time, than any attitude one might attribute to me.) Having said all this, I will admit that the highlight of my stay in Santiago was the Mass at the Cathedral the next day, hearing the nuns practice their singing in a nearby convent, the camaraderie I shared with my Camino family, and the wonderful interaction we had with the locals, including the very understanding young lady at the travel agency when, in my effort to flee the ceaseless rain (and I am no stranger to rain) I asked her to please get me to Barcelona the following day – where, by the way, I enjoyed three days of glorious sunshine before I got my flight home.I am a fit 66 year old and just finished my first Camino 844 km from Irun on the Northern Way...I have been so strong and so great until the very last day I had 18 km to do to get to the Cathedral and I dragged my sorry body every single km when I rounded the corner into the square saw the hordes of tourists and pilgrims and the whole front of the church covered in scaffolding all emotions all thoughts of an accomplishment left me I felt nothing. I stayed a minute then went to my hotel where i spent two days really just sleeping and I have still not been inside the church....I am going to the coast by bus on sunday but just wondered if others had these feelings Les
Hola Mexico kidI am a fit 66 year old and just finished my first Camino 844 km from Irun on the Northern Way...I have been so strong and so great until the very last day I had 18 km to do to get to the Cathedral and I dragged my sorry body every single km when I rounded the corner into the square saw the hordes of tourists and pilgrims and the whole front of the church covered in scaffolding all emotions all thoughts of an accomplishment left me I felt nothing. I stayed a minute then went to my hotel where i spent two days really just sleeping and I have still not been inside the church....I am going to the coast by bus on sunday but just wondered if others had these feelings Les
Margaret, what a beautiful post.And there it was! The cathedral! Here I was at last! Oh happy, happy day! . . .
Overcome with emotion I put my hand on the stone. Suddenly the giant bells began to ring; the sound was majestic. . .
My camino had now become a memory, but a memory I shall treasure forever.
Margaret Meredith[/QUOTE
We were told on our roof tour that the North entrance (the one you come to first, on the left side of the catedral), is actually the original pilgrim's entrance (and the south door is the Pilgrim's exit). I'm assuming that is why the Botafumeiro swings that way (to fumigate us!). The West doors (the main entrance off the Plaza de Obradoiro) is the one we associate with arrival now. And it did take a couple days for me to feel like I'd really arrived. I was glad we had a few days in Santiago (including a bus tour to Finesterre and the Costa de Muerte).I'm sure everyone's is different and I sort of agree about the crowds but I remember the day vividly. It had poured all day, we were drenched, but even after stopping at our hotel (it was on the way) I felt the need to "finish" that day. We didn't go around to the front so entered by the side door. As I went down the steps I could feel my legs starting to shake and feel unsteady. I didn't make it much past the outside door, knelt in one of the pews and sobbed for at least 10 minutes. Yes, there were others around but somehow it didn't matter. I was there and had fulfilled my promise to myself to walk the entire way. I'll never forget it.
I am a fit 66 year old and just finished my first Camino 844 km from Irun on the Northern Way...I have been so strong and so great until the very last day I had 18 km to do to get to the Cathedral and I dragged my sorry body every single km when I rounded the corner into the square saw the hordes of tourists and pilgrims and the whole front of the church covered in scaffolding all emotions all thoughts of an accomplishment left me I felt nothing. I stayed a minute then went to my hotel where i spent two days really just sleeping and I have still not been inside the church....I am going to the coast by bus on sunday but just wondered if others had these feelings Les
Same for me Kanga. I was close to tears talking to the two Irish Amigos in the Pilgrim's office after receiving my first Compostela. I spent most of the service with mixed emotions but when I visited the tomb all was good in my life. Kneling there and praying you are sometimes consious of the parade of people passing behind you, some hardly breaking stride. What are they gaining I wonder? Are they just doing it as a tourist and missing out?For me there is never a let-down because the point of my whole Camino is to worship at the tomb of St James.
Yes, I know the doubts, I know it is quite illogical, quite lacking in reason, but that is what I choose to believe. So really, nothing else matters; not the place itself, nor the con artists, nor whether the liturgy is uplifting, nor the banality of tourists buses and scaffolding. Superstitious nonsense but to see the sarcophagus and give the Apostle a hug always brings me joy.
Margaret: That was beautiful.Memories from first arriving in Santiago de Compostela, November 16, 2004. --
Up before dawn for this conclusive day I hoisted my pack and excitedly set off to cover the final 18 k. The camino led through the woods and on country lanes. Villages appeared more frequently and grew larger. At Lavacolla the pilgrims’ world and the contemporary collided. Named for the act of washing one’s bottom, during the Middle Ages this riverside was the last cleansing place, before entry into the great city. The obligatory stop was a pilgrim rite, both physical and spiritual. Today the trail still passes the river, but both abut one runway of the international airport! Culture shock!
At Vilamayor two teenagers tended an information bureau. Noticing my bruised forehead and broken glasses they asked “how long have you been walking?” “Seven weeks exactly” I replied. Delighted, they smiled broadly, clapped hands and said “Oh, happy, happy day! You are almost there! Buen Camino!”
I climbed the last hill, Monte del Gozo or Mount Joy. Across the centuries pilgrims arriving here with great happiness saw at last the cathedral towers on the horizon. Sadly what had been a verdant hillside is now a giant complex with 3000 beds for pilgrims. Quickly rushing past in search of my first view of the city I was chagrined to realize that today this eastern approach is filled with post war construction, hardly a legendary ‘city on the hill’.
The Camino followed the calle de los Concheiros (after conca or shell), rua de San Pedro and finally entered the medieval city through the Puerta del Camino. My heart beat faster as I hurried along the narrow pedestrian lanes, rua Casas Reales, rua das Animas and plaza Azabacheria (after jet jewelry craftsmen).
And there it was! The cathedral! Here I was at last! Oh happy, happy day!
Overcome with emotion I put my hand on the stone. Suddenly the giant bells began to ring; the sound was majestic. I did not enter then, but searched for the pilgrim office. The assistant reviewed my Credencial with all its varied stamps representing each day’s stop on my journey, marked it with one final stamp, and issued the treasured Compostela which stated in Latin that I had devotedly completed the pilgrimage.
Again I cried.
When at last I entered the cathedral through the great western portal I walked down the dim barrel-vaulted nave towards the altar. The congregation was assembling for mass. Other pilgrims whom I had met along the camino were present; we nodded, silently smiled and gestured a euphoric thumbs up, not wanting to break the sacred silence. ...After mass I sat alone in the cathedral for a long time and slowly began to realize that my dream was fulfilled. My camino had now become a memory, but a memory I shall treasure forever.
Margaret Meredith
"Camino is not captured easily in words, . . ". I would go even further and say, "The Camino can not be captured in words".Hello everyone and especially Mexicokid,
The Camino world changed for me at about Sarria. The feel of the villages changed. They were no longer as Camino centric; less isolated from the global business world. Fewer little Churches and less often open. Many more short trippers and tour groups. Groups of Spanish teens partying their way to Santiago.
I adjusted. We (I came to think of my camino family as the pilgrims on camino for a month already by then) all adjusted and turned inward a bit more.
Santiago did not flash for us at first but we gave it time. We Visited the cathedral repeatedly and stopped to say hello and congratulations to anyone we recognized. We started talking camino talk to anyone and everyone who wanted to talk. We gave wide berth to the jarring too loud street musicians and sat quietly with St James. We took a guided tour of the portico of glory. Then it really hit us in a deep but quiet and subtle way.
We were pilgrims of St James.
It was not tears and revelation. It is deep sensations and experiences felt in wordless ways. It was the gift of time and being on camino.
It is not just you. Camino is not captured easily in words, is not easily understood or felt and not completed just by arriving in Santiago.
Linda
Margaret: That was beautiful.
Robert Fernandez
Well it is now exactly one week since i walked into the square and wrote that post...I leave tomorrow until Monday I did not go into the cathderal...Yesterday I took the bus to Muxia and it was a wonderful day most of my gear found it's way into the ocean and i cried for over an hour...tears of joy and I sand Amazing grace as loud as I could...this morning i took the self aduio tour, attened the 12 noon Mass which included the swinging and i am at peace...I know now why I did the Camino and I know now what it has done and will do for me...thanks for all your replies as a side note i just wonder if my lack of strength last week was due to three bed bites I received one is still very nasty but happy to report that I feel strong and 100 % again and ready to walk but just not going to yet................les"Camino is not captured easily in words, . . ". I would go even further and say, "The Camino can not be captured in words".
This is a great thread. Wonderful human stories.
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?