Last minute jitters

[Kerstinh47]

Hi
Tonight I find myself looking back over my day - full of making sure I have life's details worked out as an individual, a wife, and a parent (I'm leaving for my solo/1st camino in 5 days time) and I'm feeling so scattered! It's not 'like' me to feel like this. I want to (& imagined I would) feel prepared, confident, and peaceful at this point - yet I find I am worrying about minutia.....will the plants get a drink of water, will the icky things get cleared out of the nether regions of the refrigerator while I'm away....as well as the profound; have I left myself time and space not for packing and weighing and worrying, but for spiritual reflection and guidance before I begin the physical and emotional journey I'm so close to getting started on? Like a dream in which I've prepared for a big moment, only to find that I've taken the spotlight in my undies....I'm feeling vulnerable.
It's funny how I can stress about what will be out of my control at home while I'm away- yet not have purchased a ticket from Paris to St Jean Pied de Port on Thursday and I think that'll work itself out.
So, all forum-hugs accepted and pre-camino-jitter-stories welcome....

Scattered yet ready- Kerstin.

 

[RobertS26]

It's funny how I can stress about what will be out of my control at home while I'm away- yet not have purchased a ticket from Paris to St Jean Pied de Port on Thursday and I think that'll work itself out. Scattered yet ready- Kerstin.

It's all going to work out just fine. I promise.

 

[Kerstinh47]

thanks Robert

 

[gerardcarey]

Just remember how many of us there are that are envious of your imminent departure.
Buen Camino
Gerard

 

[Kerstinh47]

Gerardcarey-
Just reading your 'buen camino' is really wonderful =)

 

[JohnMcM]

Que sera, sera Kerstin.
You sound like any other 'right-minded' person might sound.
Try not to worry, you are starting something that will most likely be very special for you for the remainder of your life.
Buen Camino

 

[Olivares]

Hi
Tonight I find myself looking back over my day - full of making sure I have life's details worked out as an individual, a wife, and a parent (I'm leaving for my solo/1st camino in 5 days time) and I'm feeling so scattered! It's not 'like' me to feel like this. I want to (& imagined I would) feel prepared, confident, and peaceful at this point - yet I find I am worrying about minutia.....will the plants get a drink of water, will the icky things get cleared out of the nether regions of the refrigerator while I'm away....as well as the profound; have I left myself time and space not for packing and weighing and worrying, but for spiritual reflection and guidance before I begin the physical and emotional journey I'm so close to getting started on? Like a dream in which I've prepared for a big moment, only to find that I've taken the spotlight in my undies....I'm feeling vulnerable.
It's funny how I can stress about what will be out of my control at home while I'm away- yet not have purchased a ticket from Paris to St Jean Pied de Port on Thursday and I think that'll work itself out.
So, all forum-hugs accepted and pre-camino-jitter-stories welcome....

Scattered yet ready- Kerstin.

I would be more worried if I wasn't feeling scattered!

 

[Sheffield James]

A camino hug from me. You sound soo ready to me!

 

[pbucilla]

Of course you feel jitters and feel vunerable. You are taking a risk setting out on this journey, where we all know we can't really prepare for everything, as much as we try. I think the definition of courage is taking a risk in spite of feeling those jitters and vulnerability. You Kerstin, are courageous! How many people never take risks, never face fears, and miss out on opportunities and a life more fulfilled. You Kerstin, won't be one of those people! Vulnerability is really about allowing people to see who we are as real people, not the image we try to project but REAL. You Kerstin are being real! What an exciting adventure you're taking! Buen Camino! Pennie

 

[Jabaldo]

Hi
Tonight I find myself looking back over my day - full of making sure I have life's details worked out as an individual, a wife, and a parent (I'm leaving for my solo/1st camino in 5 days time) and I'm feeling so scattered! It's not 'like' me to feel like this. I want to (& imagined I would) feel prepared, confident, and peaceful at this point - yet I find I am worrying about minutia.....will the plants get a drink of water, will the icky things get cleared out of the nether regions of the refrigerator while I'm away....as well as the profound; have I left myself time and space not for packing and weighing and worrying, but for spiritual reflection and guidance before I begin the physical and emotional journey I'm so close to getting started on? Like a dream in which I've prepared for a big moment, only to find that I've taken the spotlight in my undies....I'm feeling vulnerable.
It's funny how I can stress about what will be out of my control at home while I'm away- yet not have purchased a ticket from Paris to St Jean Pied de Port on Thursday and I think that'll work itself out.
So, all forum-hugs accepted and pre-camino-jitter-stories welcome....

Scattered yet ready- Kerstin.

A boss I had many years ago told me there are two thing to worry about, those you can change and those you can not. He went to tell me to focus on only those thing that one can change. Like did I purchase my travel tickets yet, did I make the reservation for the albergue? The rest of the stuff is just that stuff that you can not change. You walked at 4:15 am a charity walk. A walk you said you would not have done if it weren't for St James. Trust in the fact you are prepared and He will show you the way.
Buen Camino.

 

[santiago_67]

As Winston Churchill once said,
“When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened”
Kerstin, don't worry - you are going to have an incredible experience. Buen Camino!

 

[Rosemaryk1]

I leave in two weeks and feel exactly like you! You will be fine and life at home will go on... (With or without us!)
Buen Camino!

 

[Kerstinh47]

What lovely words from each of you! Just waking, reading these words and drinking a lovely cup of coffee - and I know I'll be a calmer pre-camino-gal today. Thank you all so very much

 

[xin loi]

Same as you--Have 7 different backpacks scattered around my bedroom and keep packing and unpacking. Easy to get backpacks at yard sales and I think I have too many! One thing I just found--my sewing kit is made in China and none of the needles have holes for the thread! Have to replace with a HEAVY American needle! Will arrive in Madrid , May 14 and probably start hoofing it up hill out of SJPDP on the 16th. Pack only weights 10 kilos so I think I'll start throwing some more stuff in it as I've found that humping 15 kilos of sand uphill is not a problem.

 

[Kanga]

One thing I just found--my sewing kit is made in China and none of the needles have holes for the thread! Have to replace with a HEAVY American needle! .

If you are flying you can ask the flight attendant for a sewing kit - all the airlines have those tiny ones, just a piece of card with a few needles, some thread, a couple of small safety pins and a few buttons. That is all I take. Weighs nothing.

 

[Kanga]

Hi
Tonight I find myself looking back over my day - full of making sure I have life's details worked out as an individual, a wife, and a parent (I'm leaving for my solo/1st camino in 5 days time) and I'm feeling so scattered!

...I'm feeling vulnerable.
It's funny how I can stress about what will be out of my control at home while I'm away- yet not have purchased a ticket from Paris to St Jean Pied de Port on Thursday and I think that'll work itself out.
So, all forum-hugs accepted and pre-camino-jitter-stories welcome....

Scattered yet ready- Kerstin.

Once you get on the plane there will be nothing more you can do at home so you may as well relax. And when you get to SJPDP, if you have a panic attach (unlikely, but some people do) all you have to do is walk. Just walk.

 

[Carlos Madero]

Buen Camino Kerstin: it all works out the way it was supposed to work, the trick is that you can get a map of the trail you do not get a map of the way things are supposed to work. As another of the posters said only worry about what you can change. And I' pretty sure you can't reach into the nether regions of your fridge from El Camino, so let it go...
As Kanga said: Walk, just walk...
Buen Camino, Carlos

 

[Mark Lee]

I jumped into it head first without any real plan last summer. No guidebook or map. No train ticket to St. Jean from Paris.
Things work-out as you will see and once you take your first steps on the Camino it kind of gets a rhythm of its own.

 

[Nova Green]

Kerstin, we are also leaving SJPP on Friday this week. If it is any consolation we feel exactly the same way. I hope we will meet up somewhere before Santiago and reflect on how silly we were to be so worried about the small things!

 

[WanderingMind]

I sympathize guys! I leave this Monday(5/12) and will be begin walking probably towards the end of the week. I am surprisingly calm but there is an underlying anxiousness. I don't think anyone quite knows what they are getting themselves into when doing it the first time. I really have no plans other than getting to SJPP, I look forward to seeing where the Camino takes me.

I always remind myself that the most memorable moments in life are often times the ones where you put yourself in an unusual and/or uncomfortable situation. Doing only what you know is boring! I hope to see you all out there.

-David

 

[Kanga]

Yes, you are all right, the first is scary. I remember my second Camino as being so much more relaxed because I knew basically what I was in for and could do it. But I still get uncertain when facing a new Camino. It's good, I think, prevents complacency. Have to say the plane trip still terrifies me - I've been travelling on long distance flights since a child and my spouse has a pilots licence, but if I could go by boat I would! Most of us have an irrational fear of something or other.

 

[Maya2]

This is likely the "worst" part of your journey. It's amazing the calm I feel once I get through airport security and walk on that plane! Aaaaah.

 

[Kerstinh47]

I used a good portion of my original post in my blog - & shared the link on Facebook - and got responses from friends...one response in particular is so on point:

"It is good ol' Father Time that is playing a trick on you! You have plenty of time to prepare yourself with 5 days left but he wants to make sure you feel discombobulated so that the moments within are not just numbers ticking away, but decisions about significance. Are they worthy of treating with notice or are they to be filled with meaningless acts to be forgotten? Time is a sneaky punk that way, always willing to question your interpretation of his value."

So well written, and I wanted to share it

Kerstin

 

[Larry from Sydney]

I sympathize guys! I leave this Monday(5/12) and will be begin walking probably towards the end of the week. I am surprisingly calm but there is an underlying anxiousness. I don't think anyone quite knows what they are getting themselves into when doing it the first time. I really have no plans other than getting to SJPP, I look forward to seeing where the Camino takes me.

I always remind myself that the most memorable moments in life are often times the ones where you put yourself in an unusual and/or uncomfortable situation. Doing only what you know is boring! I hope to see you all out there.

-David

We leave Sydney on 12/5 for Paris and then on to SJPDP to start walking on the 16th so may see you on the way


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[WanderingMind]

Hope to see you there Larry! I am taking a bus from Madrid to Pamplona and depending on how I feel, may continue on to SJPP. Getting there late in the day the 13th.

 

[Larry from Sydney]

We arrive in SJPDP on the 15th May so hopefully we will see each other on the trail


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[Kuznitz]

Buen Camino Larry. Wishing you the best on your upcoming journey.

 

[Larry from Sydney]

Thankyou just a little apprehensive but will do what The Way allows


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[Natasha Siemens]

Kerstin,

Thank you!! This post was exactly what I needed to read, the thread has saved my day. I can relate to the jitters completely. I haven't been able to focus or be myself the past week, and I still have to wait until the 19th to fly out. I keep telling people I am in limbo-land awaiting my departure. I truly hope you find peace one your adventure! Buen Camino, *hugs*

 

[Anne-Bente]

This is a little bit funny...or maybe peculiar? For some months I could read the Calender, and found it peculiar that so many were starting their Camino in May, and almost "noone" in June. I did not understand why, and still don´t. Today I read about a bed-race, and a crowded Camino. I get a bit disappointed and a little worried. I am leaving for Bilbao in 19 days, and will be in SJPP in 20 days. I do hope for a wonderful walk. A meeting with nice people from all over the world, and a bed to sleep in when I´m tired and in the need of rest.

 

[Kanga]

I could read the Calender, and found it peculiar that so many were starting their Camino in May, and almost "noone" in June. I did not understand why, and still don´t. Today I read about a bed-race, and a crowded Camino. I get a bit disappointed and a little worried.

A meeting with nice people from all over the world, and a bed to sleep in when I´m tired and in the need of rest.

Anne, there are always less people starting from SJPDP in June than in May (some good statistical analysis somewhere on the forum if you search). It's mainly, I think, a June start means being on the meseta in summer, when it can get very hot. But don't let that concern you, I've walked it at that time of the year with my daughter. We found that as long as we started early each day, stopped walking early and drank lots water it was fine. On the meseta there always seemed to be a nice breeze in the morning. We were very grateful we had an umbrella, for shade, we should have taken two - we took turns. It was also useful when it rained but was too hot to put on waterproofs.
Even though it is quieter you will still meet people but have the advantage of more beds. Take your time.

 

[cherie]

Hope to see you there Larry! I am taking a bus from Madrid to Pamplona and depending on how I feel, may continue on to SJPP. Getting there late in the day the 13th.

Hi wandering mind, we may be on the same bus. Mine departs at 10:45am. See you on the Camino although I won't recognise you from your photo, ha ha

 

[Anne-Bente]

Anne, there are always less people starting from SJPDP in June than in May (some good statistical analysis somewhere on the forum if you search). It's mainly, I think, a June start means being on the meseta in summer, when it can get very hot. But don't let that concern you, I've walked it at that time of the year with my daughter. We found that as long as we started early each day, stopped walking early and drank lots water it was fine. On the meseta there always seemed to be a nice breeze in the morning. We were very grateful we had an umbrella, for shade, we should have taken two - we took turns. It was also useful when it rained but was too hot to put on waterproofs.
Even though it is quieter you will still meet people but have the advantage of more beds. Take your time.

Thank you for answering. Now I understand why most people starts in May, and I`m pleased that there will be less walkers at that time.....and also prepare for hot days