Making friends along the way?

[WayWalker63]

I am posting this question here because I don't know where else to put it.

I will be walking some portion of the Camino Frances in the early autumn 2013. I will only have about 3 weeks vacation. Nowhere near enough time to walk the whole way from SJPP. So I will probably start somewhere west of Leon. I will be a slow walker and don't intend to push myself beyond what I think I can reasonably do each day.

I was just reading on another thread that it is sometimes hard for someone walking alone to make friends along the way. Particularly if they did not start in SJPP. How true is this?

While I have a couple of interested family members, chances are good that I will be walking this Camino alone. I wouldn't mind it too much during the day but would enjoy socializing and being part of a group (even a small one) in the evenings.

I admit I am not the most outgoing person around but do tend to do better if I am on my own. I am not shy about coming to the aid of someone else or inviting them to sit down with me. But on the other hand I would never ask to sit with someone else or another group. I never presume I am welcome.

For those of you who made solo treks. How difficult was it to socialize when you wanted to? Or form some sort of friendships with your fellow Caminos?

 

[CaminoGen]

DOn't worry. A lot of people start in Leon so you will not be the sole "new kid" on the Camino. Take me, I started in SJPdP and made friends with a bunch of people, like 15! While I walked alone, some tended to walk in groups but we would often sleep in the same albergue. However, in Burgos, a lot stayed there a bit nursing injuries, others went home because their vacation was over; I left Burgos alone. That didn't last long because this happened to other people and they were alone too, I met a new group of people and made friends with them. The same thing happens in Leon, some people leave, others start...

My best advice would be to smile and say hello. One easy way to get to know people is to cook a pack of pasta and open a bottle of wine, declare that you have left-overs and offer to share. Of course, if you just stay on your bed and sleep, you'll never meet people.

 

[tyrrek]

Hi WayWalker!

People along the Camino are generally in a good disposition to be friendly, in my experience. You also have a great advantage in that you're an English speaker, as it's often the common language.

As CaminoGen says, you can walk at whatever pace you like and catch up with others in the evening. If you're getting along with someone during the day but you're about to get separated for whatever reason you can suggest having dinner in the evening and get their mobile number so you can send a text when you arrive.

While walking, you often find you're bumping into the same people all the time - maybe you'll pass them while they're stopped for a break then they'll pass you later etc. As you recognise each other more conversation becomes natural either while walking or in the evening.

Remember that groups which appear to have known each other from birth have probably only really known each other for days.

Buen Camino!

 

[Abbeydore]

My best advice would be to smile and say hello. One easy way to get to know people is to cook a pack of pasta and open a bottle of wine, declare that you have left-overs and offer to share. Of course, if you just stay on your bed and sleep, you'll never meet people.

Yes a great idea, 'cook a big meal' early in the evening because you booked in early, you could easily do this in Rabinal, pick-up economical food from deli, walk 100yds to albergue start cooking, you'll have friends before you know it! When we were there, a dutch lady did this she bought loads of potatoes & made a curry, everyone who was around got some; Brazilian contingent did the same, many courses, wonderful, they walked to fast for us, we only saw them again because we got up early & because they stayed in the next bar longer!

Keep saying hello with a smile, Buen Camino.
David

 

[crisnelson]

I have the same concerns as you do, because I am walking alone (beginning in Leon on 28 August till the 14th of September) and also I'm on the shy side. While I am happy to join others if they ask me, I would find it hard to try & join a group. I think the idea of sharing food is a good one. I'm not planning on cooking, but I can always share a bag of dried fruit, some carrots, a parcel of cookies, or a big bar of chocolate - come to think of it, chocolate speaks the universal language.

I also have a few safety concerns. I am reading a Camino book right now, _I'm Off Then_ by Hape Kerkeling, and he mentions running into what he calls "weirdos" and also mentions some assaults agains women on the Camino. "Weirdos" I think I can deal with, but the prospets of hiking through a forest or a field w/ no one in sight is a little daunting. Can anyone address the question of women's safety on the Camino?

another concern is getting lost - I understand that some trail signs are faded, or hard to see, or easy to miss - I would hate to walk lots of miles out of my way. That is another reason why I would love to walk with someone - two pairs of eyes are better than one.

But I see I have digressed from the original topic. ...

 

[SabsP]

I have the same concerns as you do, because I am walking alone (beginning in Leon on 28 August till the 14th of September) and also I'm on the shy side. While I am happy to join others if they ask me, I would find it hard to try & join a group. I think the idea of sharing food is a good one. I'm not planning on cooking, but I can always share a bag of dried fruit, some carrots, a parcel of cookies, or a big bar of chocolate - come to think of it, chocolate speaks the universal language.

I also have a few safety concerns. I am reading a Camino book right now, _I'm Off Then_ by Hape Kerkeling, and he mentions running into what he calls "weirdos" and also mentions some assaults agains women on the Camino. "Weirdos" I think I can deal with, but the prospets of hiking through a forest or a field w/ no one in sight is a little daunting. Can anyone address the question of women's safety on the Camino?

another concern is getting lost - I understand that some trail signs are faded, or hard to see, or easy to miss - I would hate to walk lots of miles out of my way. That is another reason why I would love to walk with someone - two pairs of eyes are better than one.

But I see I have digressed from the original topic. ...

Don't worry about the assaults / safely : there's generally always someone in sight on the Camino Frances. So the same answer for the trail signs : plenty of them too! Only time I missed a sign was somewhere before Najéra in the Rioja, after that I never got lost.

 

[pusser]

As has been written previously, meeting people is not a problem. In fact, I found that on the odd occasion when I wished to walk alone with my thoughts I had to fend off politely people who wished to engage in conversation. Even though you will not be walking the complete St Jean Pied de Port to Santiago route, you will meet many people who are walking at the same pace as you and therefore stopping in the same albergue regularly. Almost by definition, people walking the camino are friendly and, although shy, will readily socialise. This outlook crosses age, national, ethnic and religious divides and is an aspect that makes the camino so special.

Please do not be concerned about safety. Many females walk alone and the incidence of problems is probably far rarer than in any so called safe town or city anywhere in the world. Again, the fellowship enjoyed by those walking the camino is evident in the help and assistance offered willingly by other perigrinos.

Buen camino.

 

[texastrekker]

i think there are many more folks on the camino now thean when hape kerkeling did the camino in 2001 (he may have had something to do with the huge increase)--i love his book and am re-reading it now since i understand a little more about the cities/villages he travels through.

i too will be traveling solo--i don't cook but i can bring chocolate & wine--as you said the universal foods!

you can do this!
what was that song?--------------I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR............

 

[ksam]

I'm not planning on cooking, but I can always share a bag of dried fruit, some carrots, a parcel of cookies, or a big bar of chocolate - come to think of it, chocolate speaks the universal language.

"Weirdos" I think I can deal with, but the prospets of hiking through a forest or a field w/ no one in sight is a little daunting. Can anyone address the question of women's safety on the Camino?

I think you really hit on something there...chocolate!! Don't think I would have ever refused it if offered! And can't say I ever had my offers of pasta refused!

I started in SJPP and someone I met later who began in Leon, is still, to this day a year later, someone I talk to frequently! So don't worry about meeting people just be open to being there, being on the road.

On the flip side as some have mentioned, there are times when you want to walk alone. So leave very early in the morning...adn you can always carry a rosary! Funny how that seems to give you breathing space. People respect that your in your own space then! :wink:

Weirdos...can't say they were ever a problem, truly. Actually the single biggest scare/weirdo I ever encountered was not a living being. It was a talking (motion detector activated) sign for an alburgue. I encountered it in the dark on my last days push into Santiago last year. I was alone in the dark in the forest...and then a voice from nowhere!! So relax... enjoy!

Buen Camino, Karin

 

[CaminoGen]

Weirdos...can't say they were ever a problem, truly. Actually the single biggest scare/weirdo I ever encountered was not a living being. It was a talking (motion detector activated) sign for an alburgue. I encountered it in the dark on my last days push into Santiago last year. I was alone in the dark in the forest...and then a voice from nowhere!! So relax... enjoy!

Buen Camino, Karin

That thing nearly gave me a heart attack! Kudos to the pilgrim who disconnects it.

 

[Abbeydore]

I was sort of prewarned, & then it happened, looked around & then the penny dropped! :roll: :arrow:

 

[WayWalker63]

Thanks everyone for their replies. They were very helpful.

Like Chrisnelson I hadn't planned on cooking but I do love to cook and a simple pasta with a salad or bread wouldn't be hard or take much time. So that is a great idea. It might be nice to eat in every so often. Thanks, CaminoGen for that suggestion. :idea:

I may not be a beauty but I have been told I have a nice smile and as a southerner I am in the habit of using it pretty frequently.

Chris- I am happy you were able to air your concerns here as well.

Tyrrek- I am going to try to learn more Spanish before I go as well. I don't speak another language but find that I have a knack for understanding what is being said and for making myself understood, usually. Something to do with body language and intuition I think.

Thanks to everyone you have put my mind at rest on this subject.

 

[WayWalker63]

CaminoGen- Just a note on staying in my bed sleeping.
Unless I am sick or very, very tired I won't be found in my bed. I am too curious to go to bed if people are up, conversation is going or something might just happen and I might miss it. My favorite times have been spent around a table or campfire just talking. If I have or am company I am usually the last to bed and often the 1st one up. I love to sleep but if something else is going on I will usually be up. I can sleep when I am dead.

 

[Pieces]

Its not really hard to meet people on the camino. One doesn't even have to go to measures such as cooking or inviting oneself to sit at the table. I get that some people will find it hard to invite themself into a group but I find that if you just walk and smile and say hi to everybody you encounter and then at reststops, make polite & short conversation or ask questions with the people at the bar/table next to you/bathroom line/whatever. Then a lot of times the short will turn longer and people will come over or invite over. Next rest stop you will see the same people and eventually you will not sit alone and if you do offer the next solo walker a chair...

Also, we hear all this stuff about the "camino families" (had one myself on the portuguese, and we still talk all of us occationally) but it is not a given. I think what is important is not to try too hard or worry too much. We all know of those desperate mateseeking people (who sometimes may be ourselves) and how everybody takes off and runs, same thing with friendseeking people really...

Also, I find that the occational chat at reststops and the greeting & repeat greeting of people on the way, will go a long way towards fulfilling the human contact need, top up with hanging at the albergue common room and chatting to the hospitalero and you are mostly doing quite well and it will give you patience while waiting for the more substantial connections to happen (which they may not, but you will be ok cause the basics were met)

But above all, smile...

A smile is the shortest distance between two people
(Victor Borge)

(and actually smiling also makes you happy)

 

[tyrrek]

On my last Camino someone thought my walking partner and I were husband and wife. We were quite taken aback, as we thought we were getting on quite well! :lol:

 

[WayWalker63]

CaminoGen- Very Funny!

 

[Mony Dojeiji]

I agree wholeheartedly with what everyone else has said - you will not have problems making friends or socializing on the camino.

I would like to offer a perspective that I hope you don't find intrusive... that is not at all my intention. I'm not sure if you know that, in some circles, the camino is known as the Way of Strength (or the Way of the Sword). It is the place where you face your deepest fears so that you may heal them. The path runs directly underneath the Milky Way, and is believed to be imbued with energy. You can interpret that in many ways. In my case, it amplified my fears, especially that of ridicule or the opinion that others have of me. The camino revealed to me that fear in the most innocuous of manners - it wasn't an overt hit on the head, but a subtle whisper and a repitition of a pattern over and again. It gave me what I needed (in terms of people and situations) to help me let go of this need for approval. The camino is filled with a Loving energy, and it is from this place of Love that you are offered the gift of confronting and healing your deepest fears. That was my experience.

I obviously don't you know you enough to know your intentions for walking or your fears, but your entry triggered this reflection in me. I hope you will accept it in the spirit with which it was offered.

Buen camino!

 

[Abbeydore]

So that's why there's lots of Chocolate on the Camino (hate milky way) Love the Milky Way, & lay lines? Gosh this is very heavy for me, probably wont sleep tonight now!

I'm a very simple person really! It's just got too exciting.
I too mean this in a nice way.

David

 

[Mony Dojeiji]

Abbeydore - As I said, it can be interpreted in many ways :wink:

 

[LTfit]

I never felt more safe and protected than along the Camino.
(middle-aged woman who walked the first Camino alone)

 

[Deleted member 3000]

Ley lines. Connect two points, and you have one. The trick is assigning significance. Like the line of zero longitude through Greenwich, most are arbitrary.

 

[Abbeydore]

Ley lines. Connect two points, and you have one. The trick is assigning significance. Like the line of zero longitude through Greenwich, most are arbitrary.

I know you to well falcon, you are such a tease.............did you know they were going to move it, well one country did:
http://wwp.greenwichmeantime.com/time-z ... /index.htm

I bet you've walked along a few ley-lines in your time!

 

[Deleted member 3000]

The ley line from my easy chair to my refrigerator is my favorite, David. :wink:

 

[Abbeydore]

The ley line from my easy chair to my refrigerator is my favorite, David. :wink:

Becareful, moved my washing machine & fridge recently,
well you can guess all the combinations:lol:

ps & I thought you would have you single malt cabinet high up there

 

[Jeff Stys]

I am a fairly strong introvert but on the Camino I fascinate myself that I become an extrovert. I think nothing of talking to a total stranger, asking to join others at dinner or saying "good morning" in several languages (with a big smile on my face, no less).

I find it so easy to engage others because we are all sharing a common experience. i'm generally not very good at small talk but you can always ask a total stranger "where did you start?" or "how are your feet?".

One of the beauties of the camino is the diversity....I spent time with a 22 year old and his grandfather from Norway. I spent the most time with a delightful 71 year old Australian guy. I met him early in my trip and met him (and walked with him) at least five seperate times throughout the trip. He was the first one to greet me in Santiago and the last one I saw before walking off to Finesterre.

The Camino will provide.

Jeff

 

[Deleted member 3000]

Perhaps I will draw a ley line to the Fisherman's Retreat:

Whisky

We’re as famous for our Whisky as we are for our food. Our fantastic whisky bar is one of the best stocked bars in the world – with over 500 Scottish single malt whiskies, all available as a dram or bottle. We also host regular whisky tastings with with our resident experts.

Whisky Shop

The Fisherman’s Retreat, home of the ‘Whisky Cellar’ where 500 single malt whiskies are all available to purchase by the bottle. If you are not sure which one you like, all of the selection are available to taste at the bar in the restaurant

Struggling to find that ‘special’ whisky? We'll do our best to get hold of it via our extensive Whisky suppliers.

Call 01706 825314

Whisky Tasting Nights

During the winter months we hold single malt whisky tasting evenings. Your hosts are Hervey Magnall, owner of The Fisherman’s Retreat, and 'uncle' Ken Leach, close family friend and local whisky expert. Occasionally, we have guest speakers from the whisky industry. We invite you to join us at The Fisherman's Retreat on one, or all, of our famous whisky tasting evening adventures.

The Evening Includes:

A ‘taste tour’ through six fine single malt whiskies
A bagpipe player heralding the entrance of your traditional Haggis, Neeps and Tatties supper

The evening is ended by a charity auction, with all proceeds raised donated to a local charity.

 

[Larazet]

On my last Camino someone thought my walking partner and I were husband and wife. We were quite taken aback, as we thought we were getting on quite well! :lol:

Love it!

 

[Al the optimist]

As someone who was married for over 30 years I have to I love your comment Tyrek! :lol:
allan

 

[cheesepeter]

I walked alone St Jean to Santiago May/June 2009. I knew only one other Australian man who started the same day but we were not walking together. All the way I met many fine friendly people from many countries. I am quite strong on the Introvert end of the spectrum, no matter. Expect that that if you are politely friendly and respectful to people they will be O K to you . Common sense though; if you feel uncomfortable with particular persons or situations, move off. Listen to your intuition. That said I think you will find many walkers on the road, stay within sight of others when alone and meet all with a smile. It usually works a treat. I am going again in May 2013 on the Camino Frances, alone. I expect to get to Santiago in mid June so you see a lone pilgrimage is not a threat to me but a glorious oppurtunity to meet others.
Walk safely. Buen Camino,
CHEESEPETER, SYDNEY.

 

[antjie]

beautifully said....thank you Mony. Starting "my journey" in May.

 

[Mony Dojeiji]

Buen camino antije!