Storyteller Matt
Storyteller Matt
- Time of past OR future Camino
- 2021
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- I never had any one single moment that approached anything transcendental. The sum total of the walk did, though.
That truth is infrequently found in the Forum! Somehow the Camino has gotten the reputation of being easy. Maybe the bouncy stride of the aged Martin Sheen contributed to that!This is one of the hardest things I have ever done.
Maybe he did! While his wanderings, if any, are unknown, they are likely to have ranged in the area of Galicia. His remains supposedly arrived in the vicinity of Padron, a city much closer to Santiago de Compostela than Sarria. If being carried is still a "pilgrimage," then Santiago did not go far!!!"St James didn't start in Sarria"
I am day 2 on the Camino. Started in Sarria. Right now in an albergue in Ventas de Narón. Can't sleep. 1:30 am.
I don't know what I'm feeling at the moment. This is one of the hardest things I have ever done. The film The Way, and all the talk of spiritual connection on the Camino, do romanticize the experience. But it is bloody hard work.
I have had my moments, of course. And there are times when the exhaustion and pain bring me closer to the Spirit of the Universe (as I understand it). Other times, the pain makes me stop and shout aloud to no one, "This is the worst idea I've ever had."
The worst part of this journey is that I feel alone. I haven't bonded with anyone yet, and both nights so far, the pilgrims haved "cliqued up" and I'm kind of left out. This is odd because I am a social creature in the "real" world, able to assimilate into any group. The Camino has brought out different aspects of my personality.
All this time, I have walked alone. Other pilgrims are faster or slower than I want to go. I am okay with this. I talk to the Camino, my late father (whom I walk to honor), the beloved cat that I lost this summer, the Higher Power of my understanding. I don't really feel their presence, but I talk to them.
I will finish my modest 114 km to Santiago. I will earn my Compostela, although that seems less important to me now. I will press on, and I will finish. I'm not sure why I'm doing this now. I'm not sure why I started. But I'm here, and as the AA Big Book says, more will be revealed to us later.
PS: The Wise Pilgrim Guide, sold on this site, has been a lifesaver. There you go, Ivar. Free promotion!
Nothing wrong with starting in Sarria, it's a lovely walk from there to Santiago.My condolences to you for starting in Sarria. When I do it again, I’ll skip that stretch.
As a 36 yr friend of Bill W, I assure you more will be revealed.
My suggestion is to finish this year, go home and think it over. Come back and start at the other end, you’l get a different perspective.
Tonight, I was the first to check into the albergue in Palas de Rei. They showed me to my bed, then put everyone who checked in after in the opposite room! So again, I have a room to myself.
I shouldn't complain about that, because it's kind of nice, but two nights in a row tells me the universe wants me to do this alone.
.
I always say that trees are old souls. I truly believe that. Tomas was one of those old souls.Hey @Storyteller Matt . You might come across an old friend of mine in the next day or two. I'm sure he'll raise your Spirits. Look out for him just after Amenal I think. He'll put a smile on your face and into your heartYou'll know him when you see him. He's always there. Rain or shine.
Other Forum members will know of him and will have read this story of my first meeting with him.....
Tomas had a profound impact on me when I first met him in 2015.
But Sharing Camino friends later, with others, might not always work.
If you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, you probably have your own friends as well as mutual friends. And your friends are probably quite different from your partner’s friends. …
I’m sure the same happens on the Camino. You ‘click’ with others of a certain type.
But what if you walked your first Camino alone. And your second with your ‘life partner’? And along the way you dropped in to visit a really good friend. This happened to me last month.
Would Pat like him? Or just think he was some ancient weirdo that she could not really engage with? That was my dilemma.
But I took a chance. And a degree of risk. After all, introducing those with whom we’ve formed strong bonds, is really a reflection of us too, isn’t it?
For the sake of telling the story I’ll change names and places to avoid hordes of people seeking out Tomas. I’m not sure he would appreciate all the attention.
I met him during my first Camino last year. I walked a very slow Camino. I mean really slow.
It took me 40 days to get from St Jean to Santiago. And even then I had to jump forward a day to make up time.
But it was the walk of a lifetime. Sure I was injured. I was actually carrying injuries at the start that were caused during training. The dreaded Achilles tendonitis. But I coped.
Some days were like heaven. If you have walked a Camino yourself, you’ll know what I mean. Life just seems so damned good! I felt on top of the world Probably the happiest in my life.
But other days were the pits. Walking alone perhaps added to the gloom. Pits of pain and despair. Wondering why I was doing this? Should I go home? Was it all worth it?
There were a few days or part days like that. More than a few actually. And 2 or 3 ‘bad’ days in a row were really hard to snap out of.
But something always did snap me out of it. Either a self-inflicted ‘kick up the backside’ or sometimes an incident or a ‘Camino Angel’ (1) changing the mood dramatically.
I called these my Camino ‘moments’.
They were often moments of great peace and enhanced spirituality. Or moments involving places of immense beauty or often through chance encounters with others along the way….
And so it was when I met Tomas. …
It was during the last 100 km of the Camino Frances. My injuries had got worse. I was down to walking only 10-12 km per day and was eager to finish and go home. Every day was painful.
And every day I was trying to come to terms with how the ‘final 100’ was so different from the earlier stages of the Camino Frances.
I was trying to embrace the difference.
The crowds, the heightened level of commercialism, the hordes of ‘whooping’ cyclists.
And I managed. …. on the whole. I accepted that this section was just different and was to be appreciated for different qualities and experiences.
And Tomas was part of that learning process. I met him in the last few days. I won’t say where.
I saw him from a distance. He looked as old as the hills themselves.
Weathered by who knows how many winters and summers.
I was having a tough day when I stopped to spend time with Tomas. But I was drawn to him in some way. Perhaps the sense that he would somehow share with me the wisdom of the ages or make everything better like a welcome hug from a dearly loved grandfather. Yes….we hugged. Tomas is like that. And we spent quite a while enjoying each other’s company.
I left promising to visit him on my next Camino and with my spirits soaring all the way into Santiago.
And so a year passed. Almost to the day.
I was now walking my second Camino. This time with my wife Pat.
I wasn’t sure if I was going to mention Tomas or not. Maybe just ‘drop in’ and see if she enjoyed his company as much as I did.
But then I was no longer worried about what she might think of my old friend. After all, who wouldn’t love Tomas? OK, there was a small amount of trepidation. What if she thought I was weird being drawn to a friend like Tomas?
And then I could not remember exactly where he lived! But I knew I would recognise the place as soon as I saw it. And him.
So I told Pat about Tomas as we were walking. “I think we’ll meet Tomas today I told her. But I was wrong. It was the next day….
I spotted the curve in the path and knew this was where he lived.
“He’s just around that corner” I told Pat. “You’ll know him when you see him” I told her. And she did….
“Is that Tomas” she cried out, her face lighting up with joy. We were still 200 meters away …. “Yes”, I said. “That’s him”.
I spent a moment with him getting reacquainted and then introduced Pat.
I sat back and just watched…. After all, who could not love Tomas. And she did too. It was that obvious.
And she got a hug! A long lasting one that she didn’t want to break from. I took a picture of them together.
Her spirits lifted. Just like mine had the year before. She was almost skipping along the path and for the first time…. started talking about our ‘next’ Camino.
It was almost as if by meeting Tomas, she now understood what the Camino is really all about.
Tomas must have seen hundreds of thousands of pilgrims pass by. And I’m sure quite a few got hugs just like we did……
I asked Pat what it was like hugging Tomas.
She thought for a moment, and said. “It was like hugging God“. And you know, that’s exactly what I felt. Last year and this.
I’d love to know how old Tomas is.
If I had to guess? 200….
you see Tomas is a tree.
A huge, strong, beautiful tree.
My fried took a picture if itView attachment 47748
Is that the one?
Great stuff Robo! You nailed it. I think your explanation of the differences between starting in Sarria and someplace further away from Santiago are spot on and good advice. It is important to understand the pros and cons of a decision to start in Sarria. Thanks!You are only on Day 2 @Storyteller Matt
It generally takes me a few days to get into the Groove. You need to get used to the routine etc.
By the last day, you should be loving itThis is unfortunately the problem with a relatively short Camino I think. You don't get time to get used to it and go through those 3 phases. Physical, Emotional, Spiritual...... Each can take a few days in my experience.
The loneliness can be tough. Never so lonely as in a crowd. I often feel the most lonely on Camino when I'm in a really full/busy place. Just a deep sense of sadness sometimes.....
You need to snap out of it buddy. And that's not easy. I have found myself in a a bit of a funk for 2 or 3 days a couple of times.
Things I find that help:
When you are stopping for a break or a meal and someone is alone, ask if you can join them. Often they will be glad of the company too!
Make a point to say Hi to people along the way. Conversations will often start, really interesting ones!
Stick with it
Just as an afternote (1): IMHO the section from Sarria does have a very different 'vibe' from the earlier Frances section. Not bad, just different.
The people starting in Sarria are often part of a Group. Sometimes very large noisy groups. And quite naturally they tend to stick to themselves. Though this year we had fun chatting to a group of ladies who were part of the church group from the USA, complete with gigantic support bus!
The people walking from further away may have already formed friendships and 'camino families' by the time they reach Sarria. So they havev their own social group too.
And for others walking from further away, they may view the section from Sarria as merely the final straight! I felt a bit like that the first time. When you have walked almost 700 kms already, on reaching Sarria, you are 'almost there' and maybe are just looking forward to finishing.
But having said all that. The part from Sarria is really nice. Lovely scenery, and a real 'buzz' in the air. It can just be a bit busy depending on the time of year.
My first time walking that section, I made a point of talking to new people every day, so that I wouldn't slide into the long walker v short walker mentality. The 'long walkers' are easy to spot and are often just head down trying to finish. The 'short walkers' are full of energy and enjoying every step
I made sure I chatted with a few 'short walkers;' every day. Their energy was infectious. And I needed it!
I mean no disrespect using the terms short and long walkers! It's an easier way to describe the dynamics that's all.
And an after note (2) I was just re reading a similar post from way back and someone used a wonderful phrase.
Embrace the Suck!
Don't fight it. go with the flow. And the big secret for me? Start each day looking for something really good! Anything. A place, a view, a cute dog, an amazing building, a quiet church in which to think, an interesting person to say hello to, a nice rock to sit on whilst you sit to listen to the wind blow through the trees. It's all there...............you just need to be looking for itThese things feed the soul and your spirits.
I am day 2 on the Camino. Started in Sarria. Right now in an albergue in Ventas de Narón. Can't sleep. 1:30 am.
I don't know what I'm feeling at the moment. This is one of the hardest things I have ever done. The film The Way, and all the talk of spiritual connection on the Camino, do romanticize the experience. But it is bloody hard work.
I have had my moments, of course. And there are times when the exhaustion and pain bring me closer to the Spirit of the Universe (as I understand it). Other times, the pain makes me stop and shout aloud to no one, "This is the worst idea I've ever had."
The worst part of this journey is that I feel alone. I haven't bonded with anyone yet, and both nights so far, the pilgrims haved "cliqued up" and I'm kind of left out. This is odd because I am a social creature in the "real" world, able to assimilate into any group. The Camino has brought out different aspects of my personality.
All this time, I have walked alone. Other pilgrims are faster or slower than I want to go. I am okay with this. I talk to the Camino, my late father (whom I walk to honor), the beloved cat that I lost this summer, the Higher Power of my understanding. I don't really feel their presence, but I talk to them.
I will finish my modest 114 km to Santiago. I will earn my Compostela, although that seems less important to me now. I will press on, and I will finish. I'm not sure why I'm doing this now. I'm not sure why I started. But I'm here, and as the AA Big Book says, more will be revealed to us later.
PS: The Wise Pilgrim Guide, sold on this site, has been a lifesaver. There you go, Ivar. Free promotion!
Just a note. The graffiti I saw said JESUS DIDN'T START IN SARRIA.
I haven't seen the one pertaining to St. James.
The graffiti seems to be the work of some poor insecure soul who wants recognition for his labors and resents that those who start in Sarria get a Compostela same as those who start further out.
Seems his Jesus told a parable about the man who hired workers at various times of the day and paid the same wages to each. Matthew 20: 12-16:
"‘These who were hired last worked only one hour,’ they said, ‘and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the work and the heat of the day.’ But he answered one of them, ‘I am not being unfair to you, friend. Didn’t you agree to work for a denarius? Take your pay and go. I want to give the one who was hired last the same as I gave you. Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?’ So the last will be first, and the first will be last.
I mean, if he's going to invoke the name of the Carpenter, he should know the Carpenter's work.
I think I met that same opera-singing Italian guy in Roncesvalles in 2015. He serenaded the entire restaurant.End of day 3. A very good day.
I had two dreams last night. Not sure if I mentioned them. In one of them, my late father was telling me, "You don't listen, you're not listening." When I insisted that I was, he said, "No, you're not listening."
So I listened today. I heard a lot of wind whispering in the trees. It occurred to me that the original root of "spirit" is "breath," and in the AA Big Book, four times God is referred to as the Spirit of the Universe. Perhaps upon listening, I was hearing the universe breathing?
The second dream was about being followed by giant ants. I had no idea I would see giant ants for real at Portos later that day. Weird.
I thank you for your comments, especially the admission by one of you that you actually excluded another pilgrim on your first walk. I don't judge you, man, because I was once the same way. Today, I'm the opposite. My close friends even tease me because when we're out in public, the misfits and lost souls are drawn to me because they sense that I accept them. My buddies will say, "New best friend tonight, Matt?"
With no tribe on the Camino, I don't really have too many opportunities to connect with outcasts looking for an in. I did have one cool moment day one where a bizarre Italian man who acted like Ramon in The Way was singing Opera and so I joined him in the final strains of "Nessum Dorma."
Anyway, today I was mostly alone and okay with it. I'm beginning to think it is supposed to be that way. At the albergue in Ventas de Narón, I offered to provide ear plugs since I snored, and someone said, "Why don't you sleep in the next room? No one else is using it."
So I was exiled from the room, set apart from everyone else.
Tonight, I was the first to check into the albergue in Palas de Rei. They showed me to my bed, then put everyone who checked in after in the opposite room! So again, I have a room to myself.
I shouldn't complain about that, because it's kind of nice, but two nights in a row tells me the universe wants me to do this alone.
Nonetheless, a good walk today. We shall see what tomorrow brings.
Seems to me that your Camino is having just the right effect on you. This is what it is all about. For the introvert, it provides bonding, the extrovert, detachment. Solitude, a blessing. Relish in every wayward emotion. The journey is the destination.I am day 2 on the Camino. Started in Sarria. Right now in an albergue in Ventas de Narón. Can't sleep. 1:30 am.
I don't know what I'm feeling at the moment. This is one of the hardest things I have ever done. The film The Way, and all the talk of spiritual connection on the Camino, do romanticize the experience. But it is bloody hard work.
I have had my moments, of course. And there are times when the exhaustion and pain bring me closer to the Spirit of the Universe (as I understand it). Other times, the pain makes me stop and shout aloud to no one, "This is the worst idea I've ever had."
The worst part of this journey is that I feel alone. I haven't bonded with anyone yet, and both nights so far, the pilgrims haved "cliqued up" and I'm kind of left out. This is odd because I am a social creature in the "real" world, able to assimilate into any group. The Camino has brought out different aspects of my personality.
All this time, I have walked alone. Other pilgrims are faster or slower than I want to go. I am okay with this. I talk to the Camino, my late father (whom I walk to honor), the beloved cat that I lost this summer, the Higher Power of my understanding. I don't really feel their presence, but I talk to them.
I will finish my modest 114 km to Santiago. I will earn my Compostela, although that seems less important to me now. I will press on, and I will finish. I'm not sure why I'm doing this now. I'm not sure why I started. But I'm here, and as the AA Big Book says, more will be revealed to us later.
PS: The Wise Pilgrim Guide, sold on this site, has been a lifesaver. There you go, Ivar. Free promotion!
I am day 2 on the Camino. Started in Sarria. Right now in an albergue in Ventas de Narón. Can't sleep. 1:30 am.
I don't know what I'm feeling at the moment. This is one of the hardest things I have ever done. The film The Way, and all the talk of spiritual connection on the Camino, do romanticize the experience. But it is bloody hard work.
I have had my moments, of course. And there are times when the exhaustion and pain bring me closer to the Spirit of the Universe (as I understand it). Other times, the pain makes me stop and shout aloud to no one, "This is the worst idea I've ever had."
The worst part of this journey is that I feel alone. I haven't bonded with anyone yet, and both nights so far, the pilgrims haved "cliqued up" and I'm kind of left out. This is odd because I am a social creature in the "real" world, able to assimilate into any group. The Camino has brought out different aspects of my personality.
All this time, I have walked alone. Other pilgrims are faster or slower than I want to go. I am okay with this. I talk to the Camino, my late father (whom I walk to honor), the beloved cat that I lost this summer, the Higher Power of my understanding. I don't really feel their presence, but I talk to them.
I will finish my modest 114 km to Santiago. I will earn my Compostela, although that seems less important to me now. I will press on, and I will finish. I'm not sure why I'm doing this now. I'm not sure why I started. But I'm here, and as the AA Big Book says, more will be revealed to us later.
PS: The Wise Pilgrim Guide, sold on this site, has been a lifesaver. There you go, Ivar. Free promotion!
I am day 2 on the Camino. Started in Sarria. Right now in an albergue in Ventas de Narón. Can't sleep. 1:30 am.
I don't know what I'm feeling at the moment. This is one of the hardest things I have ever done. The film The Way, and all the talk of spiritual connection on the Camino, do romanticize the experience. But it is bloody hard work.
I have had my moments, of course. And there are times when the exhaustion and pain bring me closer to the Spirit of the Universe (as I understand it). Other times, the pain makes me stop and shout aloud to no one, "This is the worst idea I've ever had."
The worst part of this journey is that I feel alone. I haven't bonded with anyone yet, and both nights so far, the pilgrims haved "cliqued up" and I'm kind of left out. This is odd because I am a social creature in the "real" world, able to assimilate into any group. The Camino has brought out different aspects of my personality.
All this time, I have walked alone. Other pilgrims are faster or slower than I want to go. I am okay with this. I talk to the Camino, my late father (whom I walk to honor), the beloved cat that I lost this summer, the Higher Power of my understanding. I don't really feel their presence, but I talk to them.
I will finish my modest 114 km to Santiago. I will earn my Compostela, although that seems less important to me now. I will press on, and I will finish. I'm not sure why I'm doing this now. I'm not sure why I started. But I'm here, and as the AA Big Book says, more will be revealed to us later.
PS: The Wise Pilgrim Guide, sold on this site, has been a lifesaver. There you go, Ivar. Free promotion!
The fact that you are finding the Camino different to what you expected is a great place to start. You can look at your presumptions. Most people who started earlier just felt pain, from blisters, from shin splints, painful muscles. We started knlwing that we were day one...day 2...day????, after a while not knowi ng what day or date it is. Letting go of the boundaries, the shoulds and shouldn'ts and all that is left is walking...walking..walking. then you see the inner strength jn yourself and in the people that you pass or that pass youI am day 2 on the Camino. Started in Sarria. Right now in an albergue in Ventas de Narón. Can't sleep. 1:30 am.
I don't know what I'm feeling at the moment. This is one of the hardest things I have ever done. The film The Way, and all the talk of spiritual connection on the Camino, do romanticize the experience. But it is bloody hard work.
I have had my moments, of course. And there are times when the exhaustion and pain bring me closer to the Spirit of the Universe (as I understand it). Other times, the pain makes me stop and shout aloud to no one, "This is the worst idea I've ever had."
The worst part of this journey is that I feel alone. I haven't bonded with anyone yet, and both nights so far, the pilgrims haved "cliqued up" and I'm kind of left out. This is odd because I am a social creature in the "real" world, able to assimilate into any group. The Camino has brought out different aspects of my personality.
All this time, I have walked alone. Other pilgrims are faster or slower than I want to go. I am okay with this. I talk to the Camino, my late father (whom I walk to honor), the beloved cat that I lost this summer, the Higher Power of my understanding. I don't really feel their presence, but I talk to them.
I will finish my modest 114 km to Santiago. I will earn my Compostela, although that seems less important to me now. I will press on, and I will finish. I'm not sure why I'm doing this now. I'm not sure why I started. But I'm here, and as the AA Big Book says, more will be revealed to us later.
PS: The Wise Pilgrim Guide, sold on this site, has been a lifesaver. There you go, Ivar. Free promotion!
No regrets. It is neither better nor worse; it is just different.Now I'm sorry I started in Sarria.
Day four was my day. Something clicked. Met good people. Had a good walk. An Aussie I dined with was on his sixth Camino. His words of why he loved it made something click. Now I'm sorry I started in Sarria. I want a longer Camino.
I will be back.
I'll share more later.
Day four was my day. Something clicked. Met good people. Had a good walk. An Aussie I dined with was on his sixth Camino. His words of why he loved it made something click. Now I'm sorry I started in Sarria. I want a longer Camino.
I will be back.
I'll share more later.
Oooooh you’ve been bitten ! I’m so very happy. The Camino has moved me to a new depth of “spiritual awakening” after 18 solid years with Bill. Maybe our Caminos will cross one day as I plan on walking for as long as possible. Buen camino!Day four was my day. Something clicked. Met good people. Had a good walk. An Aussie I dined with was on his sixth Camino. His words of why he loved it made something click. Now I'm sorry I started in Sarria. I want a longer Camino.
I will be back.
I'll share more later.
Day four was my day. Something clicked. Met good people. Had a good walk. An Aussie I dined with was on his sixth Camino. His words of why he loved it made something click. Now I'm sorry I started in Sarria. I want a longer Camino.
I will be back.
I'll share more later.
It is optional! Even the last 100km.I can't imagine doing more
Not to dismiss how you feel, Matt...and...you did. In fact, it sounds like you've had a more intense pilgrimage than most. There are people in Santiago who've gone throigh that mill themselves and will understand: @SYates and @natefaith for starters as well as the good people upstairs at the Pilg!rim Office.So it doesn't even feel like I had a real Camino
Hi Matt,In Santiago!
i must be honest, I'm not sure how I feel. I have not been to the Cathedral yet. The Compostela seems almost a moot point. My last few days have been rough.
Day five was on a Sunday. I arrived in Arzúa and most everything was closed. I found a little albergue with 15 beds. I was the first to arrive... also the last. The only one in the albergue, which everyone tells me is a blessing, but it just felt... weird. Like the Camino, or the universe, was trying to isolate me.
That night, my back seized up. Worst back pain I have ever felt. At one point, I was screaming with even the slightest movement. Screaming. Not a little groan or an "oof" but full-on screams like when Martin Riggs is being tortured with electric shock in Lethal Weapon. Part of me is glad no one was there to witness the drama, but another part wishes I was not alone. Maybe someone could have worked the pressure points or provided some assistance, I don't know.
I went downstairs with a little baggie and asked one of the few open bars if I could have some ice. Ice and ibuprofen worked a bit, plus intense yoga stretches. There for a time, I feared I would not get to Santiago, and the thought was so overwhelming that I wept.
Next day, Monday (yesterday), I was able to walk, thankfully. I placed an ice bag against my back, under my backpack. I stopped a lot to do stretches. Last night, I stayed in a lovely albergue in O Pedrouzo. I went out to eat, consumed something rich and awful, however, and...
I woke up sick to my stomach. The walk today reminded me of the time I got food poisoning in Cameroon and collapsed in the jungle. I remember feeling close to death, actually sensing myself leaving my body, and I felt peace. The only thing that made me fight to get up and keep marching was I didn't want to leave my wife in Africa with a dead husband.
Today, I felt sick like that. I drank a lot of water. I stopped a lot. I tried to throw up but had only dry heaves. When I got to Santiago, I went straight to the hotel room I booked to take a hot bath.
Now, I'm awake from a nap, sore as hell, and feeling rather pathetic. I'm normally very strong, you see. I don't get back pain. I don't get sick. I take excellent care of myself. I'm fit. I've trained for this, and I'm used to hiking with a pack. All of this is new to me. It was as if the Camino was trying to break me, which it did, but to what end?
What makes it worse is that I only hiked from Sarria. Over and over, I had long walkers telling me how you can't get the full sense of the Camino unless you walk at least two weeks. The message, while not stated, seemed to be clear: "You're doing it wrong."
So it doesn't even feel like I had a real Camino; I just dipped my toe in something that was too big for me and found the water to be so hot that I collapsed. All you joyful pilgrims, talking wistfully about your pilgrimages. I had joyous moments, but I am suffering eo much at the moment that I can't call them up as treasured memories.
I am so miserable right now, I don't know if I'll try this again. 114 almost killed me. I can't imagine doing more or, heaven forbid, the full 800. But the only way I will come back is if I can walk a longer walk. So it's a double-edged sword. Anyway, I feel like a loser that I let 114 kick my guts out like that.
I'm resting now. I will go to the Cathedral tomorrow. We will see how I feel then.
Since reading your story Ian and I made every effort to greet and speak to every peregrino who was walking alone, thinking it might be you. Or even just to break the ice. We usually do, but now we did it mindfully. We will still be in Santiago for another two days. Perhaps we can meet?
Hi Matt, so glad you made it to Santiago.
Do you know of the Pilgrim House, it is a lovely place with friendly people. You have had a very difficult camino and maybe it will help you talking to the staff in Pilgrim House.
All the best to you.
Since reading your story Ian and I made every effort to greet and speak to every peregrino who was walking alone, thinking it might be you. Or even just to break the ice. We usually do, but now we did it mindfully. We will still be in Santiago for another two days. Perhaps we can meet?
I'm normally very strong, you see. I don't get back pain. I don't get sick.
You don't say what hotel, but across from the Last Stamp Albergue near Cervantes Plaza on Rue do Peregrinos there is a laundromat.need to find a laundromat nearby the hotel.
Thanks for the support. I've been looking back over the photos, and an awareness of "I just did that" flooded over me. I think I have found enough peace to fall asleep.
By the way, did I make a wrong turn somewhere and miss the metal statues of the pilgrims be holding Santiago? You know, the ones they showing the movie? Or are they even real? Were they just a Hollywood accoutrement? Whatever the case, I was looking forward to seeing them and I never did.
You mean these? Some pictures in this thread. Yes Monte de Grazo satutues are to the far left of the path you took downhill. Opposite hill side to the statue dedicated by Pope John PaulThanks for the support. I've been looking back over the photos, and an awareness of "I just did that" flooded over me. I think I have found enough peace to fall asleep.
By the way, did I make a wrong turn somewhere and miss the metal statues of the pilgrims be holding Santiago? You know, the ones they showing the movie? Or are they even real? Were they just a Hollywood accoutrement? Whatever the case, I was looking forward to seeing them and I never did.
PS Open House will continue to run at least through November Monday to Friday 16:00 to 18:00!
Also, need to find a laundromat nearby the hotel.
You SOOOOO did it!!! Seems like there was a ton of emotion, pain, suffering, insights, getting lost, getting found, learning to be "alone" with yourself.....wow did you cram alot into very little time. Kinda like a "flash" Camino. I'm so sorry to hear of your suffering at the end when you should get to revel and rejoice; hoping that you are feeling much better for your final time there. And, you are also in big, deep trouble like all of us who went once (yep, I only did about 8 days) and are now forever hooked on this site, each other, the IDEA of more camino-ing....See you over there again at the very next opportunity. Heal and travel safely my friend.Thanks for the support. I've been looking back over the photos, and an awareness of "I just did that" flooded over me. I think I have found enough peace to fall asleep.
By the way, did I make a wrong turn somewhere and miss the metal statues of the pilgrims be holding Santiago? You know, the ones they showing the movie? Or are they even real? Were they just a Hollywood accoutrement? Whatever the case, I was looking forward to seeing them and I never did.
Hey @Storyteller Matt . You might come across an old friend of mine in the next day or two. I'm sure he'll raise your Spirits. Look out for him just after Amenal I think. He'll put a smile on your face and into your heartYou'll know him when you see him. He's always there. Rain or shine.
Other Forum members will know of him and will have read this story of my first meeting with him.....
Tomas had a profound impact on me when I first met him in 2015.
But Sharing Camino friends later, with others, might not always work.
If you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, you probably have your own friends as well as mutual friends. And your friends are probably quite different from your partner’s friends. …
I’m sure the same happens on the Camino. You ‘click’ with others of a certain type.
But what if you walked your first Camino alone. And your second with your ‘life partner’? And along the way you dropped in to visit a really good friend. This happened to me last month.
Would Pat like him? Or just think he was some ancient weirdo that she could not really engage with? That was my dilemma.
But I took a chance. And a degree of risk. After all, introducing those with whom we’ve formed strong bonds, is really a reflection of us too, isn’t it?
For the sake of telling the story I’ll change names and places to avoid hordes of people seeking out Tomas. I’m not sure he would appreciate all the attention.
I met him during my first Camino last year. I walked a very slow Camino. I mean really slow.
It took me 40 days to get from St Jean to Santiago. And even then I had to jump forward a day to make up time.
But it was the walk of a lifetime. Sure I was injured. I was actually carrying injuries at the start that were caused during training. The dreaded Achilles tendonitis. But I coped.
Some days were like heaven. If you have walked a Camino yourself, you’ll know what I mean. Life just seems so damned good! I felt on top of the world Probably the happiest in my life.
But other days were the pits. Walking alone perhaps added to the gloom. Pits of pain and despair. Wondering why I was doing this? Should I go home? Was it all worth it?
There were a few days or part days like that. More than a few actually. And 2 or 3 ‘bad’ days in a row were really hard to snap out of.
But something always did snap me out of it. Either a self-inflicted ‘kick up the backside’ or sometimes an incident or a ‘Camino Angel’ (1) changing the mood dramatically.
I called these my Camino ‘moments’.
They were often moments of great peace and enhanced spirituality. Or moments involving places of immense beauty or often through chance encounters with others along the way….
And so it was when I met Tomas. …
It was during the last 100 km of the Camino Frances. My injuries had got worse. I was down to walking only 10-12 km per day and was eager to finish and go home. Every day was painful.
And every day I was trying to come to terms with how the ‘final 100’ was so different from the earlier stages of the Camino Frances.
I was trying to embrace the difference.
The crowds, the heightened level of commercialism, the hordes of ‘whooping’ cyclists.
And I managed. …. on the whole. I accepted that this section was just different and was to be appreciated for different qualities and experiences.
And Tomas was part of that learning process. I met him in the last few days. I won’t say where.
I saw him from a distance. He looked as old as the hills themselves.
Weathered by who knows how many winters and summers.
I was having a tough day when I stopped to spend time with Tomas. But I was drawn to him in some way. Perhaps the sense that he would somehow share with me the wisdom of the ages or make everything better like a welcome hug from a dearly loved grandfather. Yes….we hugged. Tomas is like that. And we spent quite a while enjoying each other’s company.
I left promising to visit him on my next Camino and with my spirits soaring all the way into Santiago.
And so a year passed. Almost to the day.
I was now walking my second Camino. This time with my wife Pat.
I wasn’t sure if I was going to mention Tomas or not. Maybe just ‘drop in’ and see if she enjoyed his company as much as I did.
But then I was no longer worried about what she might think of my old friend. After all, who wouldn’t love Tomas? OK, there was a small amount of trepidation. What if she thought I was weird being drawn to a friend like Tomas?
And then I could not remember exactly where he lived! But I knew I would recognise the place as soon as I saw it. And him.
So I told Pat about Tomas as we were walking. “I think we’ll meet Tomas today I told her. But I was wrong. It was the next day….
I spotted the curve in the path and knew this was where he lived.
“He’s just around that corner” I told Pat. “You’ll know him when you see him” I told her. And she did….
“Is that Tomas” she cried out, her face lighting up with joy. We were still 200 meters away …. “Yes”, I said. “That’s him”.
I spent a moment with him getting reacquainted and then introduced Pat.
I sat back and just watched…. After all, who could not love Tomas. And she did too. It was that obvious.
And she got a hug! A long lasting one that she didn’t want to break from. I took a picture of them together.
Her spirits lifted. Just like mine had the year before. She was almost skipping along the path and for the first time…. started talking about our ‘next’ Camino.
It was almost as if by meeting Tomas, she now understood what the Camino is really all about.
Tomas must have seen hundreds of thousands of pilgrims pass by. And I’m sure quite a few got hugs just like we did……
I asked Pat what it was like hugging Tomas.
She thought for a moment, and said. “It was like hugging God“. And you know, that’s exactly what I felt. Last year and this.
I’d love to know how old Tomas is.
If I had to guess? 200….
you see Tomas is a tree.
A huge, strong, beautiful tree.
You are amazing and don't think anything else. I'm sure I would have got an ambulance out and ended up in hospital and not finished the camino. How many people would have soldiered on in your condition ? I'm so sorry you had a hard time . Perhaps you can join a party next time or co ordinate your trek on this forum . My motto is to always try something twice if it didn't go right so the good memories outweigh the older bad ones. I went to Japan to work and found the first time isolating . I decided I had to Trump those memories so changed tactics ( yes what did I do wrong) changed location and now I can't get enough of Japan and all the friends I made !!!In Santiago!
i must be honest, I'm not sure how I feel. I have not been to the Cathedral yet. The Compostela seems almost a moot point. My last few days have been rough.
Day five was on a Sunday. I arrived in Arzúa and most everything was closed. I found a little albergue with 15 beds. I was the first to arrive... also the last. The only one in the albergue, which everyone tells me is a blessing, but it just felt... weird. Like the Camino, or the universe, was trying to isolate me.
That night, my back seized up. Worst back pain I have ever felt. At one point, I was screaming with even the slightest movement. Screaming. Not a little groan or an "oof" but full-on screams like when Martin Riggs is being tortured with electric shock in Lethal Weapon. Part of me is glad no one was there to witness the drama, but another part wishes I was not alone. Maybe someone could have worked the pressure points or provided some assistance, I don't know.
I went downstairs with a little baggie and asked one of the few open bars if I could have some ice. Ice and ibuprofen worked a bit, plus intense yoga stretches. There for a time, I feared I would not get to Santiago, and the thought was so overwhelming that I wept.
Next day, Monday (yesterday), I was able to walk, thankfully. I placed an ice bag against my back, under my backpack. I stopped a lot to do stretches. Last night, I stayed in a lovely albergue in O Pedrouzo. I went out to eat, consumed something rich and awful, however, and...
I woke up sick to my stomach. The walk today reminded me of the time I got food poisoning in Cameroon and collapsed in the jungle. I remember feeling close to death, actually sensing myself leaving my body, and I felt peace. The only thing that made me fight to get up and keep marching was I didn't want to leave my wife in Africa with a dead husband.
Today, I felt sick like that. I drank a lot of water. I stopped a lot. I tried to throw up but had only dry heaves. When I got to Santiago, I went straight to the hotel room I booked to take a hot bath.
Now, I'm awake from a nap, sore as hell, and feeling rather pathetic. I'm normally very strong, you see. I don't get back pain. I don't get sick. I take excellent care of myself. I'm fit. I've trained for this, and I'm used to hiking with a pack. All of this is new to me. It was as if the Camino was trying to break me, which it did, but to what end?
What makes it worse is that I only hiked from Sarria. Over and over, I had long walkers telling me how you can't get the full sense of the Camino unless you walk at least two weeks. The message, while not stated, seemed to be clear: "You're doing it wrong."
So it doesn't even feel like I had a real Camino; I just dipped my toe in something that was too big for me and found the water to be so hot that I collapsed. All you joyful pilgrims, talking wistfully about your pilgrimages. I had joyous moments, but I am suffering eo much at the moment that I can't call them up as treasured memories.
I am so miserable right now, I don't know if I'll try this again. 114 almost killed me. I can't imagine doing more or, heaven forbid, the full 800. But the only way I will come back is if I can walk a longer walk. So it's a double-edged sword. Anyway, I feel like a loser that I let 114 kick my guts out like that.
I'm resting now. I will go to the Cathedral tomorrow. We will see how I feel then.
Wow
I’ve been reading and coming back to reading your post every day now
And it still moves me
Thank you for showing me that it’s not just about the people you meet. It’s about who you meet!
Thank you
I am day 2 on the Camino. Started in Sarria. Right now in an albergue in Ventas de Narón. Can't sleep. 1:30 am.
I don't know what I'm feeling at the moment. This is one of the hardest things I have ever done. The film The Way, and all the talk of spiritual connection on the Camino, do romanticize the experience. But it is bloody hard work.
I have had my moments, of course. And there are times when the exhaustion and pain bring me closer to the Spirit of the Universe (as I understand it). Other times, the pain makes me stop and shout aloud to no one, "This is the worst idea I've ever had."
The worst part of this journey is that I feel alone. I haven't bonded with anyone yet, and both nights so far, the pilgrims haved "cliqued up" and I'm kind of left out. This is odd because I am a social creature in the "real" world, able to assimilate into any group. The Camino has brought out different aspects of my personality.
All this time, I have walked alone. Other pilgrims are faster or slower than I want to go. I am okay with this. I talk to the Camino, my late father (whom I walk to honor), the beloved cat that I lost this summer, the Higher Power of my understanding. I don't really feel their presence, but I talk to them.
I will finish my modest 114 km to Santiago. I will earn my Compostela, although that seems less important to me now. I will press on, and I will finish. I'm not sure why I'm doing this now. I'm not sure why I started. But I'm here, and as the AA Big Book says, more will be revealed to us later.
PS: The Wise Pilgrim Guide, sold on this site, has been a lifesaver. There you go, Ivar. Free promotion!
Something it may be worth recalling, Matt, is that many pilgrims find the first week the most physically challenging. It is a trope of the Camino Frances that the first third is the physical challenge, Many find that it gets better (physically) after that. I know that was the case for me. After the first week or so I had found ways to reduce and mitigate the physical issues that at one point I thought would keep me from reaching Santiago.I am so miserable right now, I don't know if I'll try this again. 114 almost killed me. I can't imagine doing more or, heaven forbid, the full 800. But the only way I will come back is if I can walk a longer walk. So it's a double-edged sword. Anyway, I feel like a loser that I let 114 kick my guts out like that.
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