Post Pilgrimage Musings

[NHDori]

Almost exactly a year from the time I learned about the Camino de Santiago, I stepped out of St. Jean Pied de Port with my pack on my back. I didn't have any idea what to expect. Well, that's not true. I'd done plenty of research to know what the physical part of my Camino entailed, but the emotional piece, I was not prepared for. I had a friend who told me the Camino was going to "kick my backside." It did, and in doing so, it changed my life.

When I set out for my first ever trip to Europe, I knew all the answers as to why I was walking, and what I hoped to accomplish. I was wrong on both counts. But I didn't realize that until Cruz de Ferro. Standing at the cross, waiting for that moment, I realized that I did not set out to finally let go of my late husband, or to come to terms with what my life was. I set out to find me, to find my own balance in life, to figure out what I want to do. My walk was everything I could've hoped for and more. I've been home now for five months. I've let go of my need to control everything. I've learned to be happy, truly happy. I have a stronger relationship with my two girls and I've found that making friends is much easier. I've learned to let go, to live in the moment. But most importantly, I've learned to follow my dreams. When I forget, I take myself back to an early morning visit to Cruz de Ferro, where my friend and I were the only two people on the mound of rocks, beneath a clear sky, with shooting stars streaming across the vastness of the Milky Way above us.

When I came home, I immediately started planning my next Camino, but soon realized that another Camino is not in my cards for the near future. It didn't have the same sense of immediacy as my first did. Instead, I've taken a teaching position in Shanghai China for August of this year. I'm selling everything I own and restarting my life at 46 years old. A year ago, if someone said they were doing this, I'd think they were crazy. Today I think I'M crazy, but I'm excited about the new adventure.

Post Camino, I've learned to live, not only my life, but my dreams as well. Something happened to me during those hours and days on the trail. Something amazing and crazy and magical. It was, without question, the best thing I've ever done for myself.

Anyone else change their life after their walk?

 

[rometimed]

Inspiring direction!

I actually did 7 long distance walks in 2015 book-ended by the French and English Caminos. I met my current girlfriend (and likely fiance) as a result of her becoming obsessed with my blog updates about my adventures and we actually lived across the street from each other when we were 9-14 years old but never knew one another.

Since then I've fallen out of my long term career aspirations and am also in the process of slowly trying to figure out where I am going but as you've mentioned a lot of hang-ups have fallen away.

 

[nycwalking]

Yesterday, I read an email from a young German woman I'd met on CF February 2014. On that camino, she met a young man I dubbed Mississippi, because he hailed from said state. They had a quickie wedding 2015 and just had a formal one this year. She wrote to thank me for taking her dreams to heart and encouraging her in her desire to become a wife and now she is. The camino just reaffirms who I am.

 

[OLDBIKERIDER]

Your Camino continues through China, but I am sure it ends at the horizon. Continue to look up and practice your emotional Camino skills, you have an exciting future ahead. Love and Peace are there for you.

 

[kaixo]

@NHDori I am inspired by your journey and impressed with the rate you make things happen. Buen camino on your new adventure.

 

[pilgrim b]

Wow I'm impressed, may you receive many Blessings in Shanghai, so keep living in the present moment just one at a time ....... "Beun Camino"

 

[DurhamParish]

Wow!!!! The best of luck to you Dori.