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Likewise, when I first arrived in Ireland and the people who were supposed to 'welcome' me greeted me with a handshake (instead of the 2 kisses that are normal in Spain)... if they had slapped me I wouldn't have felt worse.Yes, it seems that the further you move south (in Europe) the more common touching is as a means of communication. I remember when, many years ago, I stayed for a longer period in Turkey/Türkiye and made some good friends, there were some situations that initially made me feel a bit uncomfortable.
Yes, it seems that the further you move south (in Europe) the more common touching is as a means of communication. I remember when, many years ago, I stayed for a longer period in Turkey/Türkiye and made some good friends, there were some situations that initially made me feel a bit uncomfortable.
Luckily the Dutch habit of kissing 3x on the cheek went out with Covid. Fine when it's done with close friends and family but it was getting a bit out of hand. I was even surprised recently when visiting a young orthopedic surgeon in a hospital that he didn't even shake my hand.It is even a difference here in Belgium between the Flemish and the Walloon part. The French speaking community is much quicker with kissing " strangers " than we here in the North.
I am a US citizen from the south. I am a hugger, as are many southerners. When comforting someone who is grieving, when seeing a friend, or someone who seems like they need a hug. Of course, I read the body language to see if they are open to it.A recent post in a different thread mentioned that when the pilgrim involved was talking to a hospitalero the Spanish person touched them. In this particular case the pilgrim interpreted that as aggression. This may have been the case and I don't want to be part of that seperate discussion.
What did occur to me though is that in some cultures touching someone without specific permission is seen as akin to assault. This also comes up often when there are posts about snorers being woken up.
In Spain, however, I have found that it is relatively common for a local that I am speaking with socially (admittedly a special case) to touch me on the arm, shoulder or if we are seated, on the leg while speaking.
Initially I was a little surprised at this and wondered if the touch was signalling something else.
After discussing this with a number of Spanish people I now realise that this is simply the Spanish way of connecting.
It is not sexual nor is it usually aggressive, just another way of allowing people to connect at a slightly deeper level.
I thought that there had been another recent thread about this Spanish cultural artefact but when I searched for it I couldn't find it and so perhaps I am conflating something that I read elsewhere with this forum.
Anyway, something to be aware of and something that I personally enjoy when it is done to me but I am not yet sufficiently localised to do this myself unless I knew the other person very well.
Ah, us Anglos and our hangups but that conversation belongs to a different forum I think.
Sorry I did not have the chance to meet you! Come back, do come back!Likewise, when I first arrived in Ireland and the people who were supposed to 'welcome' me greeted me with a handshake (instead of the 2 kisses that are normal in Spain)... if they had slapped me I wouldn't have felt worse.
Luckily the Dutch habit of kissing 3x on the cheek went out with Covid. Fine when it's done with close friends and family but it was getting a bit out of hand. I was even surprised recently when visiting a young orthopedic surgeon in a hospital that he didn't even shake my hand.
I often touch someone when talking to them, friends and family that is, not usually with perfect strangers but that may be due to my background as a physiotherapist. Touching just comes natural.
While a hospi in Grañón with 3 Spanish woman I remember making a comment to them that we could tell the Northern Europeans from the Southern by how they said good-bye in the morning. The former would give us a handshake and the later a big hug. I found it heartwarming.
In the south of France I witnessed a greeting with four kisses. Four! From cheek to cheek, cheek to cheek. I wondered how do people know when to stop. I think I’d rather give a hug and be done with it.
In France I remember it being 4x! I wonder if that has changed since Covid.A cultural minefield also with the choice between 1 , 2 or 3 kisses depending on the social settings here...
In France I remember it being 4x! I wonder if that has changed since Covid.
In my experience in France, it very much depends on the region as @SabsP says. We are in the south-west - 2 is usual - one on each cheek. But it's only with people you know - not with those you have just met or have only met a few times. Exceptions would be, for example, when you meet for the first time the partner or parent of a good friend or family member.In France I remember it being 4x! I wonder if that has changed since Covid.
It's 2, 3, or 4 regionally -- and up North, can even be zero !!In the south of France I witnessed a greeting with four kisses. Four!
Well i don’t entirely agree! I’m Swedish , so from the north, and here we are lots of touchers and huggers. Kisses haven’t been the thing here but has spread (in some groups of younger people mostly) from further south. Mostly air kisses. I’m seventy plus ( age just to show that that isnt so important) and a person that likes to touch, arm, shoulder etc while talking with people And hug when meeting or parting. But not everyone! It takes some caution as some person’s borders are far out. So I think even if culture is involved its more about who you are as a person. I have friends that I seldom touch as I can feel it in the air that they don’t like it and they don’t do it themselves. And so I have f ex new pilgrim friends on the Camino that I can be physically closer to.The further north in Europe you go the less touch. Could be that even friends don't do handshakes. Once at introduction and never again. Although I'm fine with the Spanish friendliness too, it's natural.
It's beautiful -- the single kiss on the cheek in Mediterranean Europe is an expression of deepest personal respect, and usually only between friends of many decades. Not family -- friends.It can be hard to get your head around. On the Frances I was sitting at a table outside a bar near a Spanish family. The man asked if I was a peregrino, I said yes and we had a brief conversation. As I got up to leave the young daughter, about 6 years old, grabbed my hand and kissed my cheek amid 'Buen Caminos' from the rest of the family. I was very surprised and somewhat embarrassed. No way at home would a child have kissed a complete stranger with the encouragement of her parents. A bit of a culture shock.
Yup, I, being a Finn, was quite surprised in 2017 after having talked about my camino plans with a Spanish squash player living in Santiago, I was leaving the tournament (ETC 2017) banquet, he met me and didn't ask, but just hugged me… A quite warm memory for meA recent post in a different thread mentioned that when the pilgrim involved was talking to a hospitalero the Spanish person touched them. In this particular case the pilgrim interpreted that as aggression. This may have been the case and I don't want to be part of that seperate discussion.
What did occur to me though is that in some cultures touching someone without specific permission is seen as akin to assault. This also comes up often when there are posts about snorers being woken up.
In Spain, however, I have found that it is relatively common for a local that I am speaking with socially (admittedly a special case) to touch me on the arm, shoulder or if we are seated, on the leg while speaking.
Initially I was a little surprised at this and wondered if the touch was signalling something else.
After discussing this with a number of Spanish people I now realise that this is simply the Spanish way of connecting.
It is not sexual nor is it usually aggressive, just another way of allowing people to connect at a slightly deeper level.
I thought that there had been another recent thread about this Spanish cultural artefact but when I searched for it I couldn't find it and so perhaps I am conflating something that I read elsewhere with this forum.
Anyway, something to be aware of and something that I personally enjoy when it is done to me but I am not yet sufficiently localised to do this myself unless I knew the other person very well.
Ah, us Anglos and our hangups but that conversation belongs to a different forum I think.
Another great example of Cultural difference. Acceptance of nudity, either complete or partial, varies greatly from culture to culture. As a Kiwi with a fairly conservative background I’ve had to adjust somewhat throughout the years. Age helps!I spent a couple of weeks in Barcelona at a Spanish school back in 2015. One day I took the train to Sitges with one of my classmates. Her Spanish friend was spending the weekend there, and we went to the beach to meet her. We found her sunbathing on the beach. I was a bit embarrassed to be hugging and receiving three kisses from a topless woman!
You count to 4....and...just stop!In the south of France I witnessed a greeting with four kisses. Four! From cheek to cheek, cheek to cheek. I wondered how do people know when to stop. I think I’d rather give a hug and be done with it.
You count to 4....and...just stop!
Smile is optional
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