I know this may seem heretical to some, especially since I write this during Holy Week, but being unable to actually touch the spot on the lovely Jesse Tree in the Cathedral in Santiago did not disappoint me. I was grateful to finally see it with my own eyes and felt blessed that I had arrived.
I knew that touching the pillar was a tradition. But I had arrived in the House of God, the point of my journey, and that was the bigger picture and more important to me.
I arrived in Santiago in the evening. The majority of pilgrims had arrived earlier in the day and were, by then, settling down in their albergues and having celebratory dinners with friends.
Still carrying my backpack, I walked into the Cathedral and found a deserted pew. I knelt and prayed in gratitude for all the people I had met, the struggles I had survived, the loved ones who had supported me, the kindness of strangers. I felt surrounded by good will and peace.
I thanked the Saints who had been "with" me throughout the trip and provided good directions, humor, and faith through my journey. I asked for help to figure out how to put what I had gotten from my Camino into the life I would soon return to.
There is a tradition of leaving a stone representing all your troubles and cares in front of various crosses you encounter along the way. I didn't do that, either. By the time my journey ended, I felt that I had no need to leave my burdens, represented by a stone. My burdens were a part of me I could joyfully carry and would almost miss if I didn't have them with me - it would leave me somewhat off balance, if that makes any sense.
Without burdens pulling you down, how do you gain the strength to stand up straight?
That stone, which I had carried from Paris, is on my dresser.
By the way, I returned to the Cathedral a few more times before it was time for my return trip home. The crowds were such that NO WAY would anyone have a chance to crawl on their hands and knees to the pillar, unless they wanted to be the cause of an inadvertent stampede, with people tripping over them right and left, LOL.