what i have been learning as a forum member

[Nanc]

hmm i think i have too much time on my hands. I've got all the gear I need. The training hikes that used to be a challenge are easier and over faster. So I think about you guys as I walk. There are a couple of threads running through my mind. This is one.

what i have learned as a forum member:

Keep an open mind to others' ideas that challenge you.

When an OP asks a question, they need a sharing of one's experience, not a judgment about the question or warnings about presumed ancillary thoughts. Just answer the question.

When responding to a post, check the date. Some posts get resurrected by a search and may be years old.

When responding to a post, read the whole thing. Many posters with questions or a dilemma, have all ready resolved their problems, when someones comes up with a no-longer- needed sound bite.

Sarcasm, flippancy, and innuendo are very hard to take as intended through so many translations, nationalities and cultures. They don't translate well in print. Just say what you really mean. It will save a lot of apologies.

Do not disregard what you already know about yourself. If you know a larger pack fits your frame, or trail shoes suck, or if you are always cold, do not allow another individual's passion about what worked for them, take you away from your own instincts. Sure give it a try but you don't have to force their solution on yourself.

If you are tried of a thread, just don't read it. If someone irritates you, put them in the ignore list. If in the midst of a thread you suddenly have a desire to talk to someone about a non related topic, use PM.

and finally. We're all human, and like any family we can get irritated and irritable, affronted and affronting, tired and tired of it. And we have the compassion to be there for each other when the fears set in, when the pain, mental, emotional or physical, gets to be too much, and when we want to cry from relief and from being touched so deeply inside.
thank you family
Nanc

 

[RobertS26]

I would like to add one thing to your excellent list: Put your answers to questions in context.

If the question is, "Should I fly into Paris or Madrid?", your answer should not be, "Madrid is the only way to go!" if you have never accessed the Camino from both Paris and Madrid.

If the question is, "Is getting over the Pyrenees difficult?", your answer should not be, "The Pyrenees were very easy!" if you have been walking since Paris and your leg muscles are fully developed.

If the question is, "Is the snoring in albergues at night bothersome?", your answer should not be, "It never bothered me!" if you wear a hearing aid and remove it at night.

I think we owe it to each other to put our answers in context. For example, on my last Camino, I met a pilgrim who was making it clear to anyone who would listen that a particular albergue was horrible and no one should ever stay there again. I was curious as to what made it so bad, so I inquired. Was it dirty? No, it was very clean. Was it over priced? No, it was very affordable. Was there no hot water? No, it had an excellent shower room with plenty of hot water. Was the food bad? No, it was one of the best meals along the Camino. Did it have bed bugs? No, the mattress and pillow were immaculate. Was the hosptialero rude? No, he was very accommodating and funny. Was there no facility to wash clothing? No, there was a brand new washing machine and dryer. Was there no internet connection? No, it had super fast Wifi. Dumbfounded, I asked, "What made it so bad that it warranted you giving it such a bad review?" "Well," the other pilgrim replied, "The guy next to me snored all night."

 

[Rebekah Scott]

Remember too, that this is a forum. All kinds of opinions are expressed here, all of them are equally valuable, even if some are **&ing worthless!
We are from all parts of the world, and cultural differences can make one person's "sharp" or "flippant" comment a commonplace somewhere else.
Compassion, kindness, thoughtfulness. Give everyone the benefit of a doubt.
(This from someone who sometimes lacks all the above.)

 

[NualaOC]

I would like to add one thing to your excellent list: Put your answers to questions in context.

If the question is, "Should I fly into Paris or Madrid?", your answer should not be, "Madrid is the only way to go!" if you have never accessed the Camino from both Paris and Madrid.

If the question is, "Is getting over the Pyrenees difficult?", your answer should not be, "The Pyrenees were very easy!" if you have been walking since Paris and your leg muscles are fully developed.

If the question is, "Is the snoring in albergues at night bothersome?", your answer should not be, "It never bothered me!" if you wear a hearing aid and remove it at night.

I think we owe it to each other to put our answers in context. For example, on my last Camino, I met a pilgrim who was making it clear to anyone who would listen that a particular albergue was horrible and no one should ever stay there again. I was curious as to what made it so bad, so I inquired. Was it dirty? No, it was very clean. Was it over priced? No, it was very affordable. Was there no hot water? No, it had an excellent shower room with plenty of hot water. Was the food bad? No, it was one of the best meals along the Camino. Did it have bed bugs? No, the mattress and pillow were immaculate. Was the hosptialero rude? No, he was very accommodating and funny. Was there no facility to wash clothing? No, there was a brand new washing machine and dryer. Was there no internet connection? No, it had super fast Wifi. Dumbfounded, I asked, "What made it so bad that it warranted you giving it such a bad review?" "Well," the other pilgrim replied, "The guy next to me snored all night."

And another one ... if a question or a request for information seems silly, repetitive, lazy, annoying or whatever, a good rule of thumb before composing an answer is 'What would @mspath do?' Respond helpfully and with good grace, or say nothing. This is of course easier said than done at times

 

[Waka]

Good advice above.

 

[Nanc]

[QUOTE="Rebekah Scott, ]Remember too, that this is a forum. All kinds
We are from all parts of the world, and cultural differences can make one person's "sharp" or "flippant" comment a commonplace somewhere else.
Too true Rebekah. I UNDERSTAND that those making comments in that mode are communicating in a way they know. So it is not a judgement of "bad person" when i say this. But wr see the affront, hurt shutting down that occurrs when this hapoens. I have learned to modify my physicallity ( hugs etc) to accomodate friends of cultures that are not so huggie in public.

And an opinion is just an opinion , take it or leave it
Nanc

 

[dougfitz]

I would like to add one thing to your excellent list: Put your answers to questions in context.

If the question is, "Should I fly into Paris or Madrid?", your answer should not be, "Madrid is the only way to go!" if you have never accessed the Camino from both Paris and Madrid.

If the question is, "Is getting over the Pyrenees difficult?", your answer should not be, "The Pyrenees were very easy!" if you have been walking since Paris and your leg muscles are fully developed.

If the question is, "Is the snoring in albergues at night bothersome?", your answer should not be, "It never bothered me!" if you wear a hearing aid and remove it at night.

Hear, hear.

I would add that there two other important bits of context information - the time of year you walked when offering advice about gear, and your walking weight when offering advice about pack size or overall gear weight.

 

[Mark Lee]

Hear, hear.

I would add that there two other important bits of context information - the time of year you walked when offering advice about gear, and your walking weight when offering advice about pack size or overall gear weight.

Mama taught me never to discuss age or weight with the ladies. That advice has served me well through the years.
Ladies, I for one am not interested in knowing your weight.

 

[VNwalking]

Good reflections, @Nanc and others, thank you.. I just hit 'like' a bunch of times.
The Forum's definitely a kind of family, and we argue, laugh, and cry together here. Everyone has an opinion, and almost all of us share them. Some more freely than others.
There are also magical connections made here--that sometimes flow out into the 'real world.'

We affect each other more than we know. So here are a few things to add to the list:
If you start a conversation, it's a kindness to come back to it--especially if there's information in the OP that can cause communal concern, or start a heated discussion.
And if you post a lot and then disappear suddenly without warning, don't be surprised if people wonder where you've gone. A short "bye for now" post is a kindness that goes a long way.
Said as one who's trying to learn from mistakes.

 

[dougfitz]

Mama taught me never to discuss age or weight with the ladies. That advice has served me well through the years.
Ladies, I for one am not interested in knowing your weight.

It's good to see there are still some old fashioned chauvinists around. If men or women want to provide advice they should be courteous enough to provide context, irrespective of their gender.

 

[Kanga]

Oh dear @Viranani I plead guilty. I disappear without warning quite often - just recently to walk the Camino, but also when family commitments intervene. I don't follow up on threads in which I've posted, because there are so many new ones each day, unless someone uses the magic @ symbol before my name. Then I get alerted by the system. It's a useful tool when replying to a post.

 

[VNwalking]

Oh dear @Viranani I plead guilty.

Well, @Kanga, me too! Mea culpa. Well, usually it's obvious when someone's walking into the sunset somewhere in Spain, so in that case they're not a concern except as an object of envy...

unless someone uses the magic @ symbol before my name. Then I get alerted by the system.

Oh, that's what that's for! (I had noticed it will give you a list of possible user names but didn't know it would be useful on the other end as well....)

 

[Mark Lee]

It's good to see there are still some old fashioned chauvinists around. If men or women want to provide advice they should be courteous enough to provide context, irrespective of their gender.

I'm 55 years old, 6'1" tall, 220-225 pounds. I don't run sub 45:00 10k's anymore but I can still bench 250 lbs.
Can I give advice/information now?