YasminVdC
New Member
- Time of past OR future Camino
- Camino Leon to Compostela (September 2015)
Camino SJP to Burgos (July 2017)
Why does one walk the Camino?
Why does one walk at least 100 kilometres through sun, rain, grief, pain, anger, frustration, blisters, doubts and a million more things to then just take a plane/bus or train home to what we call 'real life'?
Do we do it to try and find some sort of release?
Maybe relief?
Purpose?
Excellence?
Humility?
Comradery?
Memories?
Maybe all of the above? Or none of the above?
I do remember what I sought when I first walked the Camino. I sought peace.
Peace in my mind. Peace in my heart.
I had just lost my mom one year prior. She had committed suicide and i forcefully found myself at a new beginning. Because for so long I had walked her path. Chased her down the twist and turns of life to, in the end, only find myself lost with her.
And that is when she chose to leave.
I chose to stay and walk my own path.
But no matter how much I searched, I must say I found no peace on the Camino. None to stash away in my already far to heavy backpack and take home with me.
But I did find other things along the way:
Forgiveness: for what I had tried but failed to do. And for all the things I didn't do.
Kindness: from other people, but also from within.
Perseverance: the kind of toughness that does not numb you down.
And perspective. Because to look back is to look ahead.
And though I still don't really know why I walked the Camino, I can say I did walk it. 300 godforsaken kilometres of it.
And believe me: there wasn't one day that went by where I didn't seriously considered quitting. Or stopping indefinitely.
But I didn't. I crept one. And I walk it.
I remember counting down the kilometres. 300 more to go. 20 more to go. 1 more to go.
When I found myself looking at the cathedral of Santiago, I felt no release. Nor relief. I only felt my tired body, my aching feet and my sweaty face.
It wasn't until several hours later after bathing, resting and eating in a nice little hotel I booked myself 1 week prior, that I felt it.
I felt gratitude.
And I think that is why we walk it.
To find all the things we weren't' looking for.
And to let go of all the things we think we are trying to find.
When I stepped out of the plane back home, for the first time in so many years, I was glad to be home. And when I looked into my fathers' and stepmothers' eyes I felt nothing but love, happiness and gratitude to see them again.
The next days, the same feeling oozed out of me every time I did something I had done for years or met someone I had known forever.
I felt happiness. Happiness for what I had, without it being affected with the sadness I felt for what I had lost.
I never really spoke about my Camino. I showed pictures. Told a few nice-to-know facts I had learned along the way. But I never really spoke about it in depth.
I didn't need to.
And now the Camino is calling me again.
Only this time I will leave with the gratitude I found last time I walked it.
God only knows what I will find this time.
And to all of you out there, walking your own path, I would like to wish you well and
Buen Camino.
Why does one walk at least 100 kilometres through sun, rain, grief, pain, anger, frustration, blisters, doubts and a million more things to then just take a plane/bus or train home to what we call 'real life'?
Do we do it to try and find some sort of release?
Maybe relief?
Purpose?
Excellence?
Humility?
Comradery?
Memories?
Maybe all of the above? Or none of the above?
I do remember what I sought when I first walked the Camino. I sought peace.
Peace in my mind. Peace in my heart.
I had just lost my mom one year prior. She had committed suicide and i forcefully found myself at a new beginning. Because for so long I had walked her path. Chased her down the twist and turns of life to, in the end, only find myself lost with her.
And that is when she chose to leave.
I chose to stay and walk my own path.
But no matter how much I searched, I must say I found no peace on the Camino. None to stash away in my already far to heavy backpack and take home with me.
But I did find other things along the way:
Forgiveness: for what I had tried but failed to do. And for all the things I didn't do.
Kindness: from other people, but also from within.
Perseverance: the kind of toughness that does not numb you down.
And perspective. Because to look back is to look ahead.
And though I still don't really know why I walked the Camino, I can say I did walk it. 300 godforsaken kilometres of it.
And believe me: there wasn't one day that went by where I didn't seriously considered quitting. Or stopping indefinitely.
But I didn't. I crept one. And I walk it.
I remember counting down the kilometres. 300 more to go. 20 more to go. 1 more to go.
When I found myself looking at the cathedral of Santiago, I felt no release. Nor relief. I only felt my tired body, my aching feet and my sweaty face.
It wasn't until several hours later after bathing, resting and eating in a nice little hotel I booked myself 1 week prior, that I felt it.
I felt gratitude.
And I think that is why we walk it.
To find all the things we weren't' looking for.
And to let go of all the things we think we are trying to find.
When I stepped out of the plane back home, for the first time in so many years, I was glad to be home. And when I looked into my fathers' and stepmothers' eyes I felt nothing but love, happiness and gratitude to see them again.
The next days, the same feeling oozed out of me every time I did something I had done for years or met someone I had known forever.
I felt happiness. Happiness for what I had, without it being affected with the sadness I felt for what I had lost.
I never really spoke about my Camino. I showed pictures. Told a few nice-to-know facts I had learned along the way. But I never really spoke about it in depth.
I didn't need to.
And now the Camino is calling me again.
Only this time I will leave with the gratitude I found last time I walked it.
God only knows what I will find this time.
And to all of you out there, walking your own path, I would like to wish you well and
Buen Camino.