Gardener59
New Member
- Time of past OR future Camino
- Hoping (2016)
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I would be grateful for any guidance on how I can achieve my first pilgrimage, please.
I am a 57 year old with some health issues, although I've spoken with my doctors have been given the okay. I feel drawn to walk from St Jean to Santiago alone and slowly, soaking up all the path has to offer. I am no longer working so won't be pressured by an end date, though I have been expecting I would need around 60 days to complete the journey. Understandably, my family are concerned about me being a lone, rickety female and, as this is something I feel a pull to do, I wouldn't expect any of them to have to undertake such a journey unless it was their dream as well. I wouldn't feel right to leave them worrying as it would probably mean an unpleasant 8 weeks for them and a lesser experience than I would've hope for myself - worrying about them worrying about me! Somehow I need /intend to walk the pilgrimage, but, while recognising there can be no guarantees, I need to offer my loved ones some level of reassurance that I am being as sensible as possible / have opted for the best plan I can manage, and am not having a mid-life crisis and being reckless.
I would like to go May / Jun (this year, once I have completed jury service) or Sept / Oct, if I'm able to get flights, etc. I have been preparing by walking (not fanatically), just upping my stamina, mileage etc., and using the forum to guide me on what gear to take (a big thank to you all for this).
Is there anyone out there in a similar position?
Does anyone have any advice how I can make this work for both me and my family?
Many thanks for any tips or guidance.
Gardener59
wonderful advice has been given by others already....I completed a solo walk last fall at the age of 76....fabulous experience and I can't wait to do it again. one thing that helped my husband was dropbox...a program that daily sent all my photos from my cell phone/camera to his computer at home as soon as I connected to wifi which was daily. we also texted often thru the day. I sent a text every morning as I left the albergue and a final one before I turned my phone off at night. I also used a program called map my walk and each day they could see my journey for that day online. Facebook was fabulous...I posted a brief paragraph about my day and added about 30 photos....all my friends and family followed my route daily.I would be grateful for any guidance on how I can achieve my first pilgrimage, please.
I am a 57 year old with some health issues, although I've spoken with my doctors have been given the okay. I feel drawn to walk from St Jean to Santiago alone and slowly, soaking up all the path has to offer. I am no longer working so won't be pressured by an end date, though I have been expecting I would need around 60 days to complete the journey. Understandably, my family are concerned about me being a lone, rickety female and, as this is something I feel a pull to do, I wouldn't expect any of them to have to undertake such a journey unless it was their dream as well. I wouldn't feel right to leave them worrying as it would probably mean an unpleasant 8 weeks for them and a lesser experience than I would've hope for myself - worrying about them worrying about me! Somehow I need /intend to walk the pilgrimage, but, while recognising there can be no guarantees, I need to offer my loved ones some level of reassurance that I am being as sensible as possible / have opted for the best plan I can manage, and am not having a mid-life crisis and being reckless.
I would like to go May / Jun (this year, once I have completed jury service) or Sept / Oct, if I'm able to get flights, etc. I have been preparing by walking (not fanatically), just upping my stamina, mileage etc., and using the forum to guide me on what gear to take (a big thank to you all for this).
Is there anyone out there in a similar position?
Does anyone have any advice how I can make this work for both me and my family?
Many thanks for any tips or guidance.
Gardener59
You don't need to convince them this is a great idea, and probably won't. But you do need to have a level of confidence in yourself and your preparations, and a plan for communication. I assume that you are at the stage of life where people are not depending on you for their own welfare. So, I like what @Aidan21 said: "first and foremost do this for you when you still can. Do not let this life changing opportunity pass you by because of the concerns (loving no doubt) of others."I wouldn't feel right to leave them worrying as it would probably mean an unpleasant 8 weeks for them and a lesser experience than I would've hope for myself - worrying about them worrying about me! Somehow I need /intend to walk the pilgrimage, but, while recognising there can be no guarantees, I need to offer my loved ones some level of reassurance that I am being as sensible as possible / have opted for the best plan I can manage, and am not having a mid-life crisis and being reckless.
I would be grateful for any guidance on how I can achieve my first pilgrimage, please.
I am a 57 year old with some health issues, although I've spoken with my doctors have been given the okay. I feel drawn to walk from St Jean to Santiago alone and slowly, soaking up all the path has to offer. I am no longer working so won't be pressured by an end date, though I have been expecting I would need around 60 days to complete the journey. Understandably, my family are concerned about me being a lone, rickety female and, as this is something I feel a pull to do, I wouldn't expect any of them to have to undertake such a journey unless it was their dream as well. I wouldn't feel right to leave them worrying as it would probably mean an unpleasant 8 weeks for them and a lesser experience than I would've hope for myself - worrying about them worrying about me! Somehow I need /intend to walk the pilgrimage, but, while recognising there can be no guarantees, I need to offer my loved ones some level of reassurance that I am being as sensible as possible / have opted for the best plan I can manage, and am not having a mid-life crisis and being reckless.
I would like to go May / Jun (this year, once I have completed jury service) or Sept / Oct, if I'm able to get flights, etc. I have been preparing by walking (not fanatically), just upping my stamina, mileage etc., and using the forum to guide me on what gear to take (a big thank to you all for this).
Is there anyone out there in a similar position?
Does anyone have any advice how I can make this work for both me and my family?
Many thanks for any tips or guidance.
Gardener59
Gardener, hello. I am sorry but I disagree with a lot of the advice above. You are an adult, a free adult. You aren't even old! There are pilgrims out there in their 60's, 70's, 80's, 90's!
What is being displayed by your relatives as love is two things, one it is fear, and, two, it is control. It is dysfunctional. You have to knock it on the head right now!
No pandering to it, no giving in, no allowing yourself to be controlled.
If you go on Camino and die that is alright you know - we all die. You most likely won't die
If you set up a schedule to keep in touch then three things - one, you will be like a child attached to apron strings, and, two, if you miss a call they will all panic and be calling in helicopters and who knows what else. The third thing is this - it is utterly in error to keep in touch with 'home' or 'loved ones'. It is a pilgrimage, a chance - perhaps for only once in your life! - to be free of that world, to leave it behind. To stay in touch is to not be on pilgrimage but to be out for a walk talking about what Susan did in the drug store yesterday - don't do it.
Tell them that you are carrying ID and phone numbers so if anything awful happens they will be contacted, then break all these ties and go on Camino - you know it is your hearts desire - do it.
You could tell everybody NOT to phone you but to send a text ONLY if it is an emergency, then switch your phone on once each evening to check, then switch it off again.
Oh, and you won't be alone, you will be with hundreds, thousands, of marvellous pilgrims - enjoy!!
But I say again - stand up for yourself and knock this controlling behaviour that is labelled 'love' and 'concern' on the head right now!!!
As for health care. Spain is ranked 7th in the world. Canada comes in at 30th and the USA at 37th!!
I walked the Camino Francés this fall for the first time at 57 and solo. As others have said, you needn't be alone unless hat is what you prefer. There are plenty who take a slower pace. Regarding health care, it is available along the way. The Spanish pharmacies (Farmacia) are great resources, serving the function of mini-clinics. This is not a wilderness trek where you are completely out of touch and out of reach. I'd get a phone that functions over there so you can communicate. I put an intl SIM in my iPhone. I Facetimed with my wife almost every day. During the day we would text. Facebook is another great way to keep in touch with those back home.I would be grateful for any guidance on how I can achieve my first pilgrimage, please.
I am a 57 year old with some health issues, although I've spoken with my doctors have been given the okay. I feel drawn to walk from St Jean to Santiago alone and slowly, soaking up all the path has to offer. I am no longer working so won't be pressured by an end date, though I have been expecting I would need around 60 days to complete the journey. Understandably, my family are concerned about me being a lone, rickety female and, as this is something I feel a pull to do, I wouldn't expect any of them to have to undertake such a journey unless it was their dream as well. I wouldn't feel right to leave them worrying as it would probably mean an unpleasant 8 weeks for them and a lesser experience than I would've hope for myself - worrying about them worrying about me! Somehow I need /intend to walk the pilgrimage, but, while recognising there can be no guarantees, I need to offer my loved ones some level of reassurance that I am being as sensible as possible / have opted for the best plan I can manage, and am not having a mid-life crisis and being reckless.
I would like to go May / Jun (this year, once I have completed jury service) or Sept / Oct, if I'm able to get flights, etc. I have been preparing by walking (not fanatically), just upping my stamina, mileage etc., and using the forum to guide me on what gear to take (a big thank to you all for this).
Is there anyone out there in a similar position?
Does anyone have any advice how I can make this work for both me and my family?
Many thanks for any tips or guidance.
Gardener59
For the most part, pilgrims are the most caring and helpful bunch of people anywhere.
The original post implied that the concern was all about her welfare, not that anyone at home was needing her. She was worried about their worrying, and was finding it hard to break free to follow her own dream. This is not uncommon for women of a certain age who are used to making sure everyone else is comfortable. I say "go for it" but take a cell phone and good medical insurance.if the OPs parents are being affected...
Another good resource is the documentary "Walking the Camino." This movie gives a good accounting of the actual hiking and living conditions. Plus, nobody dies! One of the parties chronicled is a couple early-seventies Canadian guys.Hi All,
I am overwhelmed with all your fantastic responses - too many to list individually, but I've taken something from everything advised even where you didn't agree.
The very second I heard about the Camino I knew somehow was going to do it (or at least make a very good attempt) and immediately (secretly) immersed myself on all things Camino. The more I read the more certain I became that this was happening. But when I raised my head and announced my intentions I hadn't stop to recognise the discrepancy between my understanding of the Camino and my family's. So I will put that right straight away by taking the advice of several of you and introducing them to this forum, 'The Way', YouTube videos and they'll see for themselves that not only am I indeed a spring chicken, but they'll read and hear about about the various adventures and see the fantastic amount of advice - practical and even other type I've been offered here.
Yes, I am 57 and don't need to ask anyone's permission to do anything. But it's a lesson I've learnt late in life so I accept I am suddenly bucking the trend - yes, it's probably about time. I did nearly die last year so my family are understandably nervous (and yes, there is also definitely some control in the mix)), but I would rather drop dead on the trail than look back from the safety of my deathbed not having spoken up about why I need to do this, gotten myself organised and found some way to meet my family half way.
My sister had already offered to come out with me, get me started, and to meet me in Santiago. So I will accept her kind offer, for me and for my family. It looks like compromise is the way to go.
The Camino has already provided because this thread contains all I need to say, for example, okay yes I'll stay in touch via so and so, but not every day.
Perhaps I'll meet one or two of you along the way.
Thank you again, very much appreciated
Gardener59
I don't see a family's concern for their loved one's safety while that person walks hundreds of miles across a country as dysfunctional or controlling - I think it's pretty natural actually. I travel a lot by myself (mostly for work, but sometimes for fun too), and my family used to be very concerned for me when I was gone. They've all basically gotten over it because I go and come back in one piece over and over again, but it took time. Neither of my parents travel, so they can't relate - no personal frame of reference.
The last time I walked the Camino I didn't tell anybody in my family until the day before I left and that's only because I needed a ride to the airport and someone to watch my pickup truck while I was gone, ha ha.Hi, I am 65, female and will be walking my first camino in june. Honestly, I haven't told my family yet because I don't want to hear what they will say. They already think I'm crazy for moving to the woods, off the grid and 4 hours away. They didn't believe I would last more the a year but it has been 4 now. I totally understand how you are feeling and admire you for telling them and not taking the cowards way out like I have, for the moment. Buen camino!
I would be grateful for any guidance on how I can achieve my first pilgrimage, please.
I am a 57 year old with some health issues, although I've spoken with my doctors have been given the okay. I feel drawn to walk from St Jean to Santiago alone and slowly, soaking up all the path has to offer. I am no longer working so won't be pressured by an end date, though I have been expecting I would need around 60 days to complete the journey. Understandably, my family are concerned about me being a lone, rickety female and, as this is something I feel a pull to do, I wouldn't expect any of them to have to undertake such a journey unless it was their dream as well. I wouldn't feel right to leave them worrying as it would probably mean an unpleasant 8 weeks for them and a lesser experience than I would've hope for myself - worrying about them worrying about me! Somehow I need /intend to walk the pilgrimage, but, while recognising there can be no guarantees, I need to offer my loved ones some level of reassurance that I am being as sensible as possible / have opted for the best plan I can manage, and am not having a mid-life crisis and being reckless.
I would like to go May / Jun (this year, once I have completed jury service) or Sept / Oct, if I'm able to get flights, etc. I have been preparing by walking (not fanatically), just upping my stamina, mileage etc., and using the forum to guide me on what gear to take (a big thank to you all for this).
Is there anyone out there in a similar position?
Does anyone have any advice how I can make this work for both me and my family?
Many thanks for any tips or guidance.
Gardener59
HI Gardener59. I am a woman who walked the French Camino solo when I was 65 and never felt alone. Since then I had Some medical issues. I was determined to walk the Camino and last year, 5 years later at 70 and solo I walked the last 200K of the Poetuguese Camino. My family was so concerned. I solved it by using my 'Find iPhone' app. . At home on the iMac, they could see where I was each day. They found this such a relief and I didn't have to check in so much. No one knows how it feels to worry as much as our loved ones. Hope this helped. Best to your Camino. ElinI would be grateful for any guidance on how I can achieve my first pilgrimage, please.
I am a 57 year old with some health issues, although I've spoken with my doctors have been given the okay. I feel drawn to walk from St Jean to Santiago alone and slowly, soaking up all the path has to offer. I am no longer working so won't be pressured by an end date, though I have been expecting I would need around 60 days to complete the journey. Understandably, my family are concerned about me being a lone, rickety female and, as this is something I feel a pull to do, I wouldn't expect any of them to have to undertake such a journey unless it was their dream as well. I wouldn't feel right to leave them worrying as it would probably mean an unpleasant 8 weeks for them and a lesser experience than I would've hope for myself - worrying about them worrying about me! Somehow I need /intend to walk the pilgrimage, but, while recognising there can be no guarantees, I need to offer my loved ones some level of reassurance that I am being as sensible as possible / have opted for the best plan I can manage, and am not having a mid-life crisis and being reckless.
I would like to go May / Jun (this year, once I have completed jury service) or Sept / Oct, if I'm able to get flights, etc. I have been preparing by walking (not fanatically), just upping my stamina, mileage etc., and using the forum to guide me on what gear to take (a big thank to you all for this).
Is there anyone out there in a similar position?
Does anyone have any advice how I can make this work for both me and my family?
Many thanks for any tips or guidance.
Gardener59
I put off walking the Camino for over 20 years because I was afraid of doing pretty much anything alone. Finally, when I was 49, my son was available to go with me. The very first day I met a 60 year old woman walking alone. Later I met a 74 year old woman alone. I was absolutely amazed! I saw both of those women - and many other peregrinas a sola I had met along the way - in Santiago.Gardener 59 -- I am 70 and doing my first camino alone in two months. I am not afraid. I am a widow, I am growing older, even if I do nothing I can't stop the process of aging and ultimately dying. I want to live while I am alive, if that makes sense. As far as notifying people goes, I think it is good not to promise something too exact. Keep in touch as you can, but it doesn't work for people back home to panic when what could have happened is no wifi, no cell service, couldn't start your phone, etc etc etc. I have a mother (yes she is still alive) who always, when someone was 10 minutes late, would start imagining the person was in a car accident or something. Your family needs to relax and trust you to do what you need to on the Camino, and be happy for you that you have undertaken a pilgrimage. Buen Camino!
Maybe that would be good. On the other hand, if the two of you stay together in a private room in SJPP and she waves you off on the path in the morning, you would have missed the first opportunity to make friends with other pilgrims in the albergue the night before, a wonderful start to Day 1. Maybe you should wave her off at the train station and you stay an extra night on your own! Make it your own pilgrimage from that day.My sister had already offered to come out with me, get me started
I would be grateful for any guidance on how I can achieve my first pilgrimage, please.
I am a 57 year old with some health issues, although I've spoken with my doctors have been given the okay. I feel drawn to walk from St Jean to Santiago alone and slowly, soaking up all the path has to offer. I am no longer working so won't be pressured by an end date, though I have been expecting I would need around 60 days to complete the journey. Understandably, my family are concerned about me being a lone, rickety female and, as this is something I feel a pull to do, I wouldn't expect any of them to have to undertake such a journey unless it was their dream as well. I wouldn't feel right to leave them worrying as it would probably mean an unpleasant 8 weeks for them and a lesser experience than I would've hope for myself - worrying about them worrying about me! Somehow I need /intend to walk the pilgrimage, but, while recognising there can be no guarantees, I need to offer my loved ones some level of reassurance that I am being as sensible as possible / have opted for the best plan I can manage, and am not having a mid-life crisis and being reckless.
I would like to go May / Jun (this year, once I have completed jury service) or Sept / Oct, if I'm able to get flights, etc. I have been preparing by walking (not fanatically), just upping my stamina, mileage etc., and using the forum to guide me on what gear to take (a big thank to you all for this).
Is there anyone out there in a similar position?
Does anyone have any advice how I can make this work for both me and my family?
Many thanks for any tips or guidance.
Gardener59
I would be grateful for any guidance on how I can achieve my first pilgrimage, please.
I am a 57 year old with some health issues, although I've spoken with my doctors have been given the okay. I feel drawn to walk from St Jean to Santiago alone and slowly, soaking up all the path has to offer. I am no longer working so won't be pressured by an end date, though I have been expecting I would need around 60 days to complete the journey. Understandably, my family are concerned about me being a lone, rickety female and, as this is something I feel a pull to do, I wouldn't expect any of them to have to undertake such a journey unless it was their dream as well. I wouldn't feel right to leave them worrying as it would probably mean an unpleasant 8 weeks for them and a lesser experience than I would've hope for myself - worrying about them worrying about me! Somehow I need /intend to walk the pilgrimage, but, while recognising there can be no guarantees, I need to offer my loved ones some level of reassurance that I am being as sensible as possible / have opted for the best plan I can manage, and am not having a mid-life crisis and being reckless.
I would like to go May / Jun (this year, once I have completed jury service) or Sept / Oct, if I'm able to get flights, etc. I have been preparing by walking (not fanatically), just upping my stamina, mileage etc., and using the forum to guide me on what gear to take (a big thank to you all for this).
Is there anyone out there in a similar position?
Does anyone have any advice how I can make this work for both me and my family?
Many thanks for any tips or guidance.
Gardener59
WOW - an emergency locator beacon, maybe a bit "over the top". Yes (imho) a GPS might be useful on some of the lesser travelled caminos, but on the Frances not really!My wife is concerned about me walking by myself, and in fact has only agreed to let me go if I take my SPOT Gen3. This is a device that pings my location up to a satellite and shows it online so she can see where I am -- or at least where I was the last time I was pinged, which can be set for every 5, 10, 30 or 60 minutes. The device also has an SOS button, which sends a message to the local emergency services, with your GPS coordinates. Maybe something like this will help ease your family's mind (and yours too, perhaps)?
Hi trafferty - if you're ever down towards the Albany area let me know - anything I can help you with in planning your trip I would be more than glad to do. Just pm me - Cherry"Yes, I am 57 and don't need to ask anyone's permission to do anything. But it's a lesson I've learnt late in life so I accept I am suddenly bucking the trend - yes, it's probably about time. I did nearly die last year so my family are understandably nervous (and yes, there is also definitely some control in the mix)), but I would rather drop dead on the trail than look back from the safety of my deathbed not havingspoken up about why I need to do this,gotten myself organised and foundsome way to meet my family half way."
So still haven't told my family but I went for a physical last week and my doctor was very excited for me and asked about my training. I got a huge smile and told him I was afraid he was going to be very negative and tell me I couldn't go. He said "nobody can tell you you can't go.. " it really hit me that that's what I have been feeling. Not that that has ever stopped me from doing what I really want to do, but I think it's the feeling of family trying to tame me because I "should" live a certain way. My father rode his Harley from Las Vegas back home to ny when he was 83. I thought he was going to kill himself but understood he would rather die that way than sitting in his lazy boy. I'm a lot more like my father than I ever realized.....
WOW - an emergency locator beacon, maybe a bit "over the top". Yes (imho) a GPS might be useful on some of the lesser travelled caminos, but on the Frances not really!
I thought going on pilgrimage was a way of escaping from "home issues"- not having big brother/sister/partner looking over your shoulder 24/7. As for walking by yourself - well if you start in St Jean - by Pamplona you will established a lose knit "camino family" that you will see three or four days per week and who will be able to support you (mentally and physically) on your journey to Santiago. Buen Camino and Good Luck. Cheers for now!
It's for my wife's peace of mind. What kind of husband would I be if I spend a month walking across Spain without considering her feelings and thoughts on the matter?
I did not tell my wife that I wanted to do the Camino de Santiago until after I had already bought airline tickets to Europe...luckily she was very supportive but also very concerned...and this would be my first vacation alone in 25-years of marriage...but my wife looked into my eyes and knew that I was serious and had to try the Camino...that type of family support was not the case with many solo Pilgrims I met on the Camino...the good news is that you don't have to journey alone on the Camino because there are many other solo Pilgrims like you that are looking for travel partners...but if you decide to journey alone I guarantee you on your worst day if you fell on the Camino another Pilgrim will be there to help you in less than an hour...after returning my mother asked me why I wanted to travel on the Camino de Santiago and not somewhere else in the world...I told her "Because on the Camino even when I was alone...I was never alone."
I am sorry David, but if the OPs parents are being affected, rightly or not by the OP's walk, and if the OP gives it a hoot, than any ways to manage that concern is legit. Especially if their wellbeing depends on the OP one way or
Another. The CF is mostly a daily walk in the park, but day after day. And yet a friend of my fathers litterally dropped dead on it. Fine one day, dead the next. Luckily with his wife by his side to manage the paper work, inform the family, etc. Had he been walking alone it would have bee a nightmare for those back home. This is a legitimatr concern with great answerss at the start of the thread.
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