allmost gave up on the camino today

[Peachy]

After witnessing an act of what to me was cruelty, uncalled for, and came on the tail of some really great personal insights in which i had allready decided its fine if i choose to leave some time,

life is a camino itself after all.


but I've been struggling with not speaking spanish and feeling as if i was losing confidence along with a 'voice', I didnt have time to learn as this was a spontaneous decision, the camino, i allmost felt called to do it.


today i was walking along and had this beautiful experience of a little creature wander onto my path, it intrigued me, so i took my pack off and knelt in the dust to look closer,,.a tiny lobster, obviously a river one?..and it had a damaged tail, ..i communed with it a little and admired its form and it waved its little claws up in the air at me and came towards me, ..i filmed it for a moment.

then, a woman,..german i believe, came along and she hit it with her hiking pole, not once, several times..into the scrub,..i would have happily picked it up and moved it carefully if it was deemed so offensive.

but to whack a injured small creature? and after seeing a person obviously caring for it?

i felt really angry as to me how you treat a small thing is reflective of how you treat big things, people, the world at large.

it really was like a kick in the guts as i've been really struggling the last few days, and this was a beautiful moment for me, ..it made me question alot about even continuing

anyway, walked 29 kms today and feeling really happy, so continuing for now.

http://youtu.be/OwFHC0wWqi8

I guess i relate to the lobster as i know what it's like to be injured and thrown aside,..after a major spinal injury i feel happy i have averaged 24 kms per day the last ten days, and navigated a new country so far from home.

 

[mralisn]

"...life is a camino itself after all."

I fully agree with this. How awful to have someone do this and being completely oblivious to your moment. Yes, we have this all the time in our own lives away from the Camino. What do we do? Just as you did; have peace with yourself and continue to move on one step at a time.

And there is something else you must be overcoming as you move along. Despite "losing your voice", I bet your spirit speaks volumes no matter the language. On the Camino, it's nice to know we're all in this together in times of wanting company and times in not. Same language or not.

A smile, shared chocolate, an ear to lend, an open heart. All translate well.

I hope you find more of these "beautiful moments" on your way to SdC and beyond.

 

[Peachy]

thanks for the kind thoughtfull words

it was more that she wasnt oblivious that hurt me some how, it was that she saw me having this moment and when she hit it she gave me a look that spoke volumns,..and it felt more as if it was me she whacked in spirit.
anyway, ..you are right...move on with peace and try to keep some grace depsite feeling small here.

thanks again.

 

[Al the optimist]

Everyone's camino is a different experience. One of the joys for me is that "at oneness" with life and oneself that you describe. I have come to feel that I am fortunate that my caminos have given me that in my life. I am now more philosophical about things when something like this happens. I now wonder many things about the person involved. What in that person's life causes this behaviour? Have they a phobia? How long have they been walking, has it had an effect upon them yet, and will they be lucky enough for it to do so?
Take heart, this is surely be unusual behaviour on the camino. You will encounter many positives to counteract this one negative.
Buen Camino

 

[Tortuga9]

Thank you for sharing Peachy!

 

[David]

Don't give up - don't give up. All is well.

You had a distressing experience, and right in front of your face too .. you know, she might have thought that she was protecting you as it sounds like you had found a scorpion.
Even so, a scorpion has the same right to live as us.

The Camino, the universe, has presented you with something painful and distressing - this is not a reason to give up, it is a reason to ponder on what happened - you may be able to forgive her, if you do you will have won whatever battle is currently within you.

It isn't all flowers, as you know - and the universe always presents you with things you need to experience - all is well, don't give up

Buen Camino, you good pilgrim :wink:

 

[Peachy]

hey thanks,..i really appreciate all the kindness here,..and food for thought,..wisdom given ..i did think it was a scorpion at first but it wasnt ,..for sure, ...maybe she thought it was though also.
I was over reacting a bit as i was feeling sensitive.

i did let it go pretty quick after it giving me momentum,nothing like anger/passion to spur one on....i had to channel the energy somewhere.

I think it was just a bit personal for me and really a reflection of something i had just realised in my self before the punctuation of this experience.

I actually 'flew' today for the second day on my time here,..the last time i walked thirty kms and felt like i was in some transcendent state where i crossed worlds, times and spaces

I realised the power of breath, ..true deep breath ...and i got alot of inner work done, so i feel satisfied that i am in the right place for now.

I'm well aware life isn't a bed of roses and have experienced hard times,..it was more i felt responsible as if i had drawn attention to the creature, and i had this feeling of...immense sadness to do with my own experiences of peoples lack of compassion at times, and having to rise above it and learn compassion for myself.

a deep day and i am gratefull. also gratefull for this cold beer and a really nice place to recharge

thanks so much everybody , you've been really helpfull

 

[newfydog]

i communed with it a little and admired its form and it waved its little claws up in the air at me and came towards me, ...

You have the good heart of a newfydog! {note: these were not out of the water long, and dispatched instantly for a dinner. I went to school in Maine, and have great respect for lobsters.}

 

[David]

I know how you feel Peachy. Some years ago, on a straight country road near a river I came across a mother duck and her little babies, walking along the middle of the road in a line. I stopped my car and got out, other cars behind me stopped. I was shepherding them to the safe side of the road to see them off to the river bank when I saw a mini approaching me from the other direction. When the driver (it was full of young men) saw the duck and ducklings he accelerated.
I jumped to one side and he drove right through them, on purpose.
He killed all the ducklings except two were unharmed and two were squashed and nearly dead. There was nothing I could do for them.
I picked up the two surviving ducklings and put them on the grass bank with the distraught mother duck.
I got back in my car and drove away.

I am not a violent man, not at all, but for a few moments I nearly turned my car around and chased after them. I wanted to kill, really, at that moment, I was so distraught - it was terrible, such a terrible emotion. But I didn't - so glad - and now I hope that the young man at some time since then has become aware of what he had done and feels as awful about it as I still feel .... what can you do .. :|

 

[Deleted member 3000]

Storks pick up these crayfish in the swampy areas, and sometimes drop them. They do not crawl into the pathway of their own accord. Crows are around to make pretty fast work of the storks' leavings.

I am sorry to hear of your distress. Keep walkin"!!

 

[newfydog]

Same story David....I once drove clear into the other lane to miss a large king snake across the road...only to see the next car go into the other lane to run it over. May an over population of rodents invade his house!

 

[supersullivan]

Definitely a crayfish, never saw one out of water before but Falcon's suggestion sounds very likely.

If you were to focus on the acts of mindless ignorance that go on about you every day you will end up in a very negative frame of mind, find and cherish those acts of kindness and care that are there in even more frequent abundance.

Buen camino

Seamus

 

[peregrina2000]

Brilliant, Seamus. That is such excellent advice, and so appropriate for both the Camino and life in general! Laurie

 

[Apple1954]

Hi Peachy,
I hope I meet people like you on the Camino when I go this Oct. Don't lose faith and keep on walking. I saw your youtube video! I thought of this hymn...

All creatures great and small
All thing wise and wonderful
twas God that made them all

Each little flower that opens,
each little bird that sings,
He made their glowing colors,
He made their tiny wings

The purple-headed mountain,
the river running by,
the sunset and the morning
that brightens up the sky

The cold wind in the winter,,
the pleasant summer sun
the ripe fruits in the garden
He made them every one

The tall trees in the green wood,
the meadows for our play
the rushes by the water
to gather every day

He gave us eyes to see them
and lips that we might tell
how great is God Almighty
who has made all things well.

Buen Camino Peachy!

 

[Peachy]

I'm so enjoying each and every one of your posts here, ....infact something to savour and linger over ...as the one thing i wish i had brought was a book,..at times before sleep or maybe in quiet moments..a book would be nice i have thought.

allready, my path has opened up by my opening up, here,on this forum..and i've met and had some really nice connections since, and even a glorious swim in a pool...heaven for my body.

i shall savour your words, stories, poetry, wise words


its a really nice thing, for someone like me who tends to be a little introspective..

wow, ..just as i wrote this,..this lovely young woman i met while washing clothes,..briefly..i had been then sitting near her soon after, when i heard her crying into the phone, she had experienced a family loss suddenly and just found out, ..I didnt want to intrude, but when she got off the phone i got the courage to go gently up to her and say' i heard you just had a loss and i wont intrude but i'm so sorry about that'..or words to that effect and placed a hand on her shoulder in light support. She just now came up and gave me a special gift, of thanks, and she asked me to pick from a little stack of cards, and it came with a message...all of her own design,very cool

the message was beautiful, the angel of relaxation and to go flowing like a river,...a chocolate river infact...it has a little dog on it with a halo, she gave it to me to keep,

it is hard to articulate of course and might sound somewhat strange, bit random..but...also leaning towards a sort of mysticism , the 'oracle' of life speaks once more and i feel surrounded by lifes love and beauty.

gratitude

 

[amykate]

Peachy your post reminded me of my experience in Santiago Cathedral waiting for the pilgrims mass to start. I was feeling happy and reflective and enjoying the moment of contemplation when i became aware of two woman talking behind me. one of the woman, who was either a teacher or a classroom assistant ,began talking about a little boy in her class and how there was nothing nice about this child and it was not wonder because his mother was...., the language used about a child in any setting would have been completely unacceptable. I was upset that the best thing she could think of to discuss at such a moment was to talk about this child in such a demeaning way and I was really upset that she was spoiling my precious moment and i struggled about whether or not to say something. I did n,t for a number of reasons. Towards the end of the mass, someone, who i think had a learning disability ,lost their way back to their pew and everyone in that row had to stand up and let her past,again the woman behind me used language to express her view in a way which was outrageous.

What do i think about it now?, I think that I was lucky to have had the experiences that I had and the opportunity to arrive at the cathedral in a mellow and contemplative state. On other days, i could have been/and probably have been that unkind woman. So cherish the moment, who knows what is going to happen next

 

[lotti on the Camino]

Peachy hang in there! Today you had a Camino experience that was beautiful in that you were touched by this little creature...I feel those moments all of the time and like you have had them crushed. The good news is the times when I have been crushed have been way fewer than the times I have bonded.

I got out of my car once to save a box turtle from the road and sure enough a car swerved to hit it as I was waiting for the car to pass so I could run out to the street. It was devastating to me.

I connected with nature so much on the Camino...one day a bird just sat there and sang to me and my friends. I walked almost breaking my ankle at times as I skipped over ants in my path who I looked at as having their own pilgrimage.

I can't tell you how many huge black slugs I moved from the path ... my dear friend and I joked she would say, "don't put your slug hand into my potato chips"...she in turn put bird feathers in her hair (which always freaks me out I think of little bugs in those feathers), and I joked, "don't put your bird feather hands in my chips"...

My last day in pouring rain walking to Muxia there was one of these black slugs EATING a mushroom...I got it on video, a beautiful image of him biting the mushroom and chewing it and biting it more. That moment convinced me that the time I took to save all of those slugs was well worth it.

Shame on that person for not appreciating all of the gems along the Camino! Remember the connection you made and know there are many more to be had along the way.

Buen Camino! and stick with it!!!!!

 

[Stephen Nicholls]

Hi Peachy!
I am a committed Christian, yet sometimmes feel I have something of the Budhist in me - I take great care not to put my foot down on anything living as I walk! Sometimes I "rescue" a creature found wandering across a busy road and toss them into the verge.
I wonder what goes through a worm's brain when it finds itself flying through the air - not realising it may have been saved from being squashed on the road. Maybe the same appplies to us. Sometimes we find ourselves doing things we have no wish to do - "flying" through the air metaphorically - and maybe - just maybe - it's because we're being 'saved' from something infinitely worse!
On my walks, insects give me great pleasure: I have been known to talk to butterflies, and sheep and wild flowers. Yes, I have even been known to hug a tree! That's one reason I always walk alone.
I met the beautiful creature below on my first camino in 2011...
All we can do is pray for those who have no respect for the life of all created things.
In conclusion - what a lovely story about the card given to you as a 'thanks' for your compassion. What a wonderful souvenir of your camino.
God bless you, Peachy!
Buen camino!

 

[daesdaemar]

Unfortunately, there are many people in this world who consider animal life worthless and of no meaning. I have witnessed and heard of episodes of animal cruelty far too many times in my life. As I grow older, I become very uncomfortable even with the idea of killing insect pests.

 

[ramonvanderburgt]

I saw one of those! Luckily, a man walked by, picked it up and safely put it back into the bushes, right next to the water. I don't know what I would've done if someone just killed it.

 

[Deleted member 3000]

Crayfish in Louisiana, USA:

 

[NoQ]

I sympathise with the OP. On my current camino I have felt so guilty when I have heard a crunch as Ihave stood on another snail on the path.

Mind you, at least it is a quick and sudden dmise, unlike the halal slaughter that Europe has to tolerate nowadays.

Falcon, your dinner looks yummy. !

 

[Peachy]

mmmmmmmm,..yum,...i am pretty partial to seafood qnd after thelast couple days on the camino could really munch on those crayfish,..delicious,..maybe seems odd after carying on about my experience the other day.
.walked 34 kms yesterday, about 20 today and food is on my mind!!!!

yesterday was from hontanos, to fromista...stunningly beautiful,..azure skies,..acres of yellow sunflowers, golden hay stacks..poppies and cornflowers sprinkled,..but also pretty tough...the last five kms.

I'm enjoying all the shared stories here while my body recovers in rest before looking for food,

thankyou all


oh....I saw a nest big enough for a human yesterday, with storks ...upon a turreted old building...wow...quite freaky!!! they are allmost intimidating!

so still on the camino,..giant blisters too..as every one knows here this is a unique experience,thanks for helping me through that patch of ill temper.

 

[stevenjarvis]

Peachy, hope you're feeling stronger and recovered from that horrible experience.
One thing for sure, your voice has been heard LOUD AND CLEAR
I wish you all the very best on your journey to Santiago de Compostela, and beyond !

Ps and thank you for your videos, they're brilliant.

 

[newfydog]

Crayfish in Louisiana, USA:

crawfish_boil.gif

I didn't want to post one of those until he had a chance to recover......

I usually leave these to the otter, but this Deschutes monster swam right over to me:

 

[Say Simba]

Take it as part of your Camino. You learned something. As Paolo Coehlo said in his book of the journey along the Camino many years ago, you do not stop walking the Camino except for cases of illness.

Continue on.

 

[Franpio]

It's unbelievable how some people are so unconscious and so unaware of the consequence of their actions. Sad.

 

[Peachy]

Peachy, hope you're feeling stronger and recovered from that horrible experience.
One thing for sure, your voice has been heard LOUD AND CLEAR
I wish you all the very best on your journey to Santiago de Compostela, and beyond !

Ps and thank you for your videos, they're brilliant.

thankyou

my inner experiences here are very reflective of where my life is at thats for sure.

 

[Peachy]

Crayfish in Louisiana, USA:

crawfish_boil.gif

I didn't want to post one of those until he had a chance to recover......

I usually leave these to the otter, but this Deschutes monster swam right over to me:

yum!

 

[Peachy]

Take it as part of your Camino. You learned something. As Paolo Coehlo said in his book of the journey along the Camino many years ago, you do not stop walking the Camino except for cases of illness.

Continue on.

thats the one thing i wish i had, a book like that which i could read as an accompanionment!! I feel it would give me a good compass. I am travelling very light,.only about six kgs with water, but a book..thats the one thing i missed packing!!!

..and a tent, maybe some camping things, i think that would be nice to sleep outdoors, ..for me

i've added my blog here, amongst the many !..but the truth is, it has not been very deep or well done,..time, access to wifi, energy...has to go into the walk and any insights i have had have not made it ,instead it has become a jumble of not much really. I enjoy looking at others at times i must say,..it can be helpfull, and interesting!< on second thoughts i removed it, if you dont know me it might come across as offensive as i do softly use the f word on occassion, and can come across as tempestuous,. i must just be struggling more than others on this walk!