Camino Ingles in April, should I take my 14 year old?

[caminowilts]

So I caught the Camino bug, after walking the Frances last August and September. I'm now thinking about doing the Camino Ingles from Ferrol to Santiago and then on to Finisterre over the Easter holidays. This time I am thinking of taking my 14 year old son? He is your normal teenager who plays on his xbox, with friends, most of the time. I am worried that he will hate it and neither of us will end up enjoying the time together. I'm interested to hear from anyone who has walked the camino with a teenager and what it was like? Also, I want him to socialise and mix with others (as do I ) so I am not sure if the Ingles will be too quiet at the beginning of April? Finally, I'd really welcome some feedback as to what weather to expect during April.

 

[SYates]

Have you asked him what he thinks about your plan? Buen Camino, SY

 

[Kiwi-family]

I see notes on a whiteboard at home - my son appears to be making a website to promote himself. One of his "Significant Life Experiences" (up there with a 15 month overlanding trip through Asia and Europe when he was 12) is the camino he walked four years later.
One group of Spanish teens I met in Santiago who had walked from Sarria for school included at least half a dozen who were going home to ask their dads if they could join them on their next camino - or to encourage their whole family to go together. They were 12-16 years.
If I were you, I'd invite my son and see what happens. Does he have a special mate who might join you?

 

[caminowilts]

I've not discussed him with him, because I suspect his reaction will be NO WAY! I was thinking of just me and him. He's got to that age where he keeps himself to himself, so I thought it would be a good opportunity to park the norms at home and spend time together. Kiwi family that's really good to hear teenagers really recognising their camino as a positive life experience. Obviously when you do it when you older your likely to value it for different reasons.

 

[cher99840]

I'm in the "ask him" camp. If he says "no way" you will be doing both of you a favor by leaving him behind.

 

[Devon Mike]

My 14 year old son and I spend a lot of time walking here in the UK. I have been on the Camino Frances 3 times and he keeps telling me he would love to do it with me, so we are planning to do it together next year.

He spends a lot of time on his computer games at home, but is happy to be without all that stuff when we walk the Camino.

Our plan is to spend 6 weeks in his Summer holiday walking from SJPP to SdC and then on to Finisterre and Muxia, averaging around 24kms/15 miles per day.

 

[dougfitz]

My wife and I walked the Milford Track a few years ago with my granddaughter when she was a similar age. We planned this months in advance, did training walks every couple of weeks, did load planning and meal planning together, etc, etc. By the time we started she was confident in doing the distances, able to help with meals and also had time to socialize with other walkers around her age. I wouldn't blame your son for saying 'no way' if you spring this on him with only a couple of months to go and little chance to get used to the idea and do much preparation.

If he wants to go, that's great. But be warned that the Ingles is relatively quiet.

As for a weather forecast, you will need to wait until closer to the time for anything accurate. Try one of the climate sites to get a reasonable understanding of conditions have been like in the past. I walked the Ingles in 2014 when it was (relatively) warm and didn't rain the whole week. Something like that might happen for you if you can choose the right week!

 

[miguel_gp]

I've walked all the routes in and out of Santiago (excluding the Frances) and the Ingles has always been the quietest. That said, it's popularity has increased massively in the last 10 years and presumably you will be walking over/around Easter period (school holidays) which may make it busier than other times in April. The Portugues from Tui or Valenca is likely to be busier.
I am also toying with taking my 15 and 18 year olds with me on Camino this year or next. Both have expressed an interest in walking the Camino although neither walk regularly at the moment so I will be doing several training walks with them, including on consecutive days, to ensure that they realise the commitment they are undertaking. Just getting out of bed to start at a reasonable time could be a trial in itself .
I hope that your father/son adventure happens but 10 days or so consecutive and fairly tough walking is a big ask if he doesn't necessarily want to be there. I took a group of 8 adults on the Ingles last summer and the majority of them found it pretty tough despite their prior training.
If you or he are not sure, maybe a shorter camino, 3-4 days from A Coruna in a long weekend and if the Compostela is important to you or your son, the balance of the 100km can be walked in your home country with appropriate proof.
Buen Camino whatever you decide.
Mig

 

[linkster]

I am in the ask him, but find a way to make it happen including coercion. Do it for him. Do it for yourself. Do it for the both of you.

I cannot speak to the specifics of hiking the camino with your son, but I have two sons. They are 18 months apart in age, now 17 and 19. The oldest is in college and the youngest will be this fall. I introduced both boys to wilderness camping when they were 3 and 4. I have been on some type of wilderness trip with them each summer (canoeing, backpacking, rafting) until last year when the oldest started college in the summer. These trips ranged from 1 week to 2 1/2 weeks. No electronics for the most part. They did watch an occasional movie at camp on their iPhone, but we were out of cell range most of the time. So our normal environment filled with distractions was paused. We interacted with each other! They tell stories about our adventures, and I know they had an impact on who they are and the bond we share. We shared common experiences that in some cases challenged us, and together overcame them. Not every day was nirvana ... sometimes they were whiny little sh#ts ... they are kids. Sometimes I was a whiny little sh#t. We all have a bad day when we are tired, whatever. That's when we need to exercise patience. None of these episode lasted long, I know they occurred, but I really cannot think of one in any detail. Do not underestimate either of your abilities to work through the daily grind of life together. Involve him in the planning, the agenda for the day, when to stop, eat, drink etc. It is both of your's trip.

I would not trade these experiences for anything! The scheduling of these types of trips and their willingness to commit time to these types of trips is going to become more difficult as they grow older (girlfriends etc.). I would drop everything on a moments notice to be able to have one more of these trips with them. This year I am planning on walking alone, but they will always be by my side.

Buen Camino

 

[kelleymac]

So I caught the Camino bug, after walking the Frances last August and September. I'm now thinking about doing the Camino Ingles from Ferrol to Santiago and then on to Finisterre over the Easter holidays. This time I am thinking of taking my 14 year old son? He is your normal teenager who plays on his xbox, with friends, most of the time. I am worried that he will hate it and neither of us will end up enjoying the time together. I'm interested to hear from anyone who has walked the camino with a teenager and what it was like? Also, I want him to socialise and mix with others (as do I ) so I am not sure if the Ingles will be too quiet at the beginning of April? Finally, I'd really welcome some feedback as to what weather to expect during April.

I first heard of the camino when my boys were little (5 and 2) in 2003, and was so excited to walk. My husband though, couldn't understand why, and so time went on. And on. -- Then my mother died on the Solstice in 2014 and I decided that I was going to walk, no matter what. I asked each of my boys (then 17 and 14). My oldest's response was (and I quote) "Why don't you just rent a car?" Right. So, that left him out. Ciaran, my younger one wanted to know if we could get roast lamb in Spain-- So he and I walked together in March/April 2015 from Leon to Santiago de Compostela. We argued regularly--- usually around 3pm, until I began making sure we stopped more often to eat (he was growing like a weed and needed to consume a lot more than I could). Chocolate and more motrin for me at noon helped us get along too. Ciaran can out walk me, and I often let him go ahead. I have a lot of photos of his back on the path far ahead of me. (Thank goodness for the zoom on my camera.) Ciaran can walk for 10 hours and still have energy to swing his walking stick and knock of dandelion heads for fun. (This was one of our on-going arguments, as I like dandelions...) --- We did not meet other teenager pilgrims on the camino. Other adults talked with him-- he was shy but tried to respond. Other adults were surprised to see him there, and would ask me how I got him to come. -- I think part of it is that our family is a bit different from the mainstream. We don't have video/computer games in the house, we don't watch much television at all, we see few movies. Ciaran attended a waldorf school where his friends were also not connected to media, and also where the projects take weeks to finish (knitting socks, working on pastel drawing), and so was not accustomed to immediate gratification in the way many/most teens are now. He also owns and cares for a horse and helps at the farm with haying and other chores. And we go wilderness camping and backpacking regularly. -- Ciaran came to me in the Fall of 2015 asking to return to the Camino, but to start this time from SJPP. I wrestled with this for a bit, as we are short of money and I would have to take him out of school again, but then I realized how incredibly lucky I was that my 15 year old was asking to walk with me, him mom, on the Camino. In April of 2016 we walked from SJPP to Burgos. We still have from Burgos to Leon to walk.

 

[kelleymac]

So I caught the Camino bug, after walking the Frances last August and September. I'm now thinking about doing the Camino Ingles from Ferrol to Santiago and then on to Finisterre over the Easter holidays. This time I am thinking of taking my 14 year old son? He is your normal teenager who plays on his xbox, with friends, most of the time. I am worried that he will hate it and neither of us will end up enjoying the time together. I'm interested to hear from anyone who has walked the camino with a teenager and what it was like? Also, I want him to socialise and mix with others (as do I ) so I am not sure if the Ingles will be too quiet at the beginning of April? Finally, I'd really welcome some feedback as to what weather to expect during April.

My avatar photo is my son on the Camino in March 2015. And here is from behind, swinging his walking stick at dandelions.

 

[kelleymac]

So I caught the Camino bug, after walking the Frances last August and September. I'm now thinking about doing the Camino Ingles from Ferrol to Santiago and then on to Finisterre over the Easter holidays. This time I am thinking of taking my 14 year old son? He is your normal teenager who plays on his xbox, with friends, most of the time. I am worried that he will hate it and neither of us will end up enjoying the time together. I'm interested to hear from anyone who has walked the camino with a teenager and what it was like? Also, I want him to socialise and mix with others (as do I ) so I am not sure if the Ingles will be too quiet at the beginning of April? Finally, I'd really welcome some feedback as to what weather to expect during A

Hello again, I was thinking about giving or not-giving your son a choice. Ideally he would buy into the camino enthusiastically. But, if he is hyper connected to his peer group, and is worried about disconnecting with them, he may not be enthusiastic-- especially around said peer group. I think that is alright, and it would be good for him to reestablish connection with you (his father) and have memories to talk about and remember. I would expect him to grumpy and panicky about not having connection with his peers every few minutes, but he should get over that in a few days... You may like to take a look at a book called "Hold onto your kids: why parents need to matter more than peers" by Neufeld. (I have two teen boys and also work with more "mainstream" boys in boy scouts.)

 

[Rick of Rick and Peg]

Camino Ingles in April, should I take my 14 year old?

When I saw this topic I was going to answer "Sure, but how much does he weigh and is your pack big enough?"

But reading your question I see that there is something very serious going on here. I don't really know exactly what to write and I would probably have a hard time doing so anyway so I'm just going to say that a pilgrimage can be a rite of passage and attach some links.

http://journeytomanhood.blogspot.com/
http://man-making.com/publications/mmbook/

 

[JRO]

Having had my son and husband walk the Camino Frances four years ago, and having done some of it with my husband myself, I had a couple of thoughts. These are only for you to consider, as you will want to follow your heart on this one.

Your son is at that age where some teenagers are ready and wanting to be seen as more adult, with a valid voice/choice in things. Others are not ready yet. I too think that the important part of this is the asking part. If he looks or sounds interested, he may be interested in being seen as a partner in this...not just a child whose parent will dictate all the ways and means. If you get a "no way!" then for many reasons he may not be ready. However, you may get an invitation yourself one day. If you get this response, try not to be hurt (it will be hard). Remember, he may think it over and change his mind. If not now, maybe at another time.

If you get a "yes" or sort of conditional "maybe" response, then the hard work will begin, because it will be important to have it be a walk with a valued partner, not just your child. For a good experience, he will need to have some input and choices. A previous responder talked about walking with his similarly aged son, and how he discovered that more frequent eating was important, etc. In other words, quickly figuring out how to stack the deck in a positive way (breaks very consistently at different times of day, more eating, whatever it is that makes life better...) will be crucial to you both enjoying your trip together. I have often found that I enjoy my kids more, and I'm sure they enjoy me more, when I consider the structure of HOW we are doing something, rather than WHAT we are doing. It's easiest when I can think of my child as a friend who is with me, rather than my child, whom I might want to direct, command, etc. Sometimes easier said than done!

Whichever way it works out now, I'm pretty sure one day it will happen. Buen Camino.

 

[Micah26]

I first heard of the camino when my boys were little (5 and 2) in 2003, and was so excited to walk. My husband though, couldn't understand why, and so time went on. And on. -- Then my mother died on the Solstice in 2014 and I decided that I was going to walk, no matter what. I asked each of my boys (then 17 and 14). My oldest's response was (and I quote) "Why don't you just rent a car?" Right. So, that left him out. Ciaran, my younger one wanted to know if we could get roast lamb in Spain-- So he and I walked together in March/April 2015 from Leon to Santiago de Compostela. We argued regularly--- usually around 3pm, until I began making sure we stopped more often to eat (he was growing like a weed and needed to consume a lot more than I could). Chocolate and more motrin for me at noon helped us get along too. Ciaran can out walk me, and I often let him go ahead. I have a lot of photos of his back on the path far ahead of me. (Thank goodness for the zoom on my camera.) Ciaran can walk for 10 hours and still have energy to swing his walking stick and knock of dandelion heads for fun. (This was one of our on-going arguments, as I like dandelions...) --- We did not meet other teenager pilgrims on the camino. Other adults talked with him-- he was shy but tried to respond. Other adults were surprised to see him there, and would ask me how I got him to come. -- I think part of it is that our family is a bit different from the mainstream. We don't have video/computer games in the house, we don't watch much television at all, we see few movies. Ciaran attended a waldorf school where his friends were also not connected to media, and also where the projects take weeks to finish (knitting socks, working on pastel drawing), and so was not accustomed to immediate gratification in the way many/most teens are now. He also owns and cares for a horse and helps at the farm with haying and other chores. And we go wilderness camping and backpacking regularly. -- Ciaran came to me in the Fall of 2015 asking to return to the Camino, but to start this time from SJPP. I wrestled with this for a bit, as we are short of money and I would have to take him out of school again, but then I realized how incredibly lucky I was that my 15 year old was asking to walk with me, him mom, on the Camino. In April of 2016 we walked from SJPP to Burgos. We still have from Burgos to Leon to walk.

What a cool kid! You are lucky the way you raised him gave him the opportunity to be with you on such a journey

 

[Jeff Crawley]

April? THIS April? When, in Galicia the average temperature is 11 degrees, with a low of 6 and a high of 15. 85mm of rainfall and a 1 in 3 chance of it raining on any particular day.
When the only thing you'll see on TV is the news and football (does either of you speak Spanish?) you want to take your sedentary son on a 120km walk through a foreign country?
Sounds a bit like child abuse to me what would YOU have said if your father had suggested it to you at 14?

 

[Rick of Rick and Peg]

I haven't been able to stop thinking about this. I've never been a father nor an uncle so please feel free to disregard my thoughts but the thoughts are running along like this:

"Hey pal. I'm doing another camino with your uncle (if he isn't run into the ground) and we want you to come along. You're the tech wiz and we want you to be the photographer, navigator, comms expert and blogger. Say you'll help."

So, it isn't a father/son thing; it's being one of the guys. Your son will have responsibility and he has some competition (an uncle or elder to do better than). The invite is worded a bit more positively than just asking if he wants to go.

I say uncle with actually a brother-in-law of yours in mind. You say you adults are into a bonding between yourselves (assuming you already have stronger bonds with your brothers) and your son gets drawn into conversations between men rather than dragged into one with his dad. Your son may feel "safer" with that kind of talk than a more private and deeper father/son one-on-one.

As for his making the whole trip, play up the "Aren't you tougher than 6 year olds and 80 year olds?" angle.

If he still won't go let your adult helper off the hook by letting him withdraw after reading Jeff's post above.

 

[Kiwi-family]

I've had another thought about your question. Your son might need time to mull over your proposition. Here's an example: in October our family spent the day with a family who live in India. At one point they mentioned how useful it would be to have someone with them this year to help tutor their younger kids. They return to India tomorrow - and my 14-year-old son is going with them! At first he didn't like the idea, but soon conceded to go for two weeks. He was on the slippery slope! The other day my husband asked the kids what they were thankful for and this kid said, "That I get to go to India". He'll be there three months.

Two years ago two of the older siblings went for the same purpose. I districtly remember the 15yo's response: No way! Capital N. Capital O. Do you understand me Mum? All accompanied with actual foot stomping.
Right now she is doing a South Island Road Trip that she organized herself (aged 17). She and her brother had planned one month of traveling in India before they went - so they really owned the trip and it gave them a lot of independence.
But remember, they started out with NO WAY.
Give time!!

 

[Kiwi-family]

I haven't been able to stop thinking about this. I've never been a father nor an uncle so please feel free to disregard my thoughts but the thoughts are running along like this:

"Hey pal. I'm doing another camino with your uncle (if he isn't run into the ground) and we want you to come along. You're the tech wiz and we want you to be the photographer, navigator, comms expert and blogger. Say you'll help."

So, it isn't a father/son thing; it's being one of the guys. Your son will have responsibility and he has some competition (an uncle or elder to do better than). The invite is worded a bit more positively than just asking if he wants to go.

I say uncle with actually a brother-in-law of yours in mind. You say you adults are into a bonding between yourselves (assuming you already have stronger bonds with your brothers) and your son gets drawn into conversations between men rather than dragged into one with his dad. Your son may feel "safer" with that kind of talk than a more private and deeper father/son one-on-one.

As for his making the whole trip, play up the "Aren't you tougher than 6 year olds and 80 year olds?" angle.

If he still won't go let your adult helper off the hook by letting him withdrwal after reading Jeff's post above.

Rick, would you be an honorary uncle to my kids?

 

[Rick of Rick and Peg]

Rick, would you be an honorary uncle to my kids?