Yellowfriend
Active Member
- Time of past OR future Camino
- Porto- Santiago / Fisterra- Muxia sept 2016
SJPP- Santiago may 2017planninh
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Thank you so much for your words! Guess that is the issue maybe, I am not very outgoing when alone.. but that is also why I keep asking myself why I did not get over my issue with sleeping in albergues and just did it.... why was is such a big issue. Maybe O have to accept that is was a problem for me, just as it was and stop thinking why ...Yellowfriend - if it helps, I stopped walking my first Camino in Leon and did bus/train-aheads through Astorga and onward to Santiago to complete the time I had left. I didn't have the anxiety you had - which must have been really difficult - but didn't sleep well in albergues and found the whole thing to be much different for solo walkers than is apparent from reading these forums. I also made a few "mistakes" and lost my original cohort by taking a side-trip to see the monastery at Canas and hadn't exchanged phone numbers - assuming I'd see them again (I didn't). I did meet and walk with some people I liked very much and continue to stay in touch with, but walked both alone for the majority of the time, and found it uncomfortable at times as well. I prefer walking mostly solo now, and if anything have had the opposite issue of occasionally having someone try to latch on that was NOT someone I wanted to be attached to for long periods of time.
There is nothing in many people's experience that prepares them for sleeping in a dorm with strangers of both genders from all over the world - and many choose not to sleep in albergues. I found the solo lodging elsewhere WAS very isolating, especially for those of us who aren't tremendously outgoing, so there isn't an easy solution. I can tell you with certainty that other solo walkers have felt like you did during their Caminos because have spoken with a number of them. It is not a failure in any way. If you really wanted to go back and do it again, you'd probably be better prepared for the realities of it the second time around and have a better time of it.
Yes did the CP last year and never felt lonely or anxious. But the hotels were prebooked so I only had to walk and didn't have to plan my sleepings...but almost all the other people I met slept also in hotels so I was not a outsider like I felt now..So sorry to hear that Yellowfriend.
The Camino certainly is an intense experience and I suppose maybe that just isn't the best environment for everyone. Perhaps walking at a slightly less busy time of year might suit you better, I see you've done other Caminos before, were they more successful?
Hope you get the chance to find more enjoyment on the way one day.
I just wanted to point out that many of the groups that you saw were probably solo walkers who had met on the trail. I was part of several such groups. I know that it can be hard to join an already established group, but the fact that everyone is doing the same thing on the Camino does make it easier to get out of your comfort zone and take the initiative to join in.Saw very few solo walkers, most were together or in a group.
Others here will tell you that they would not/could not sustain a Camino of sleeping in albergues. There was just a post to this effect a few minutes ago:0))). Definitely not a shortcoming in any way to not be able to tolerate the albergues. I usually barely doze in them, and after several nights of very little "sleep", trying to hike for days on end and also trying to be pleasant among others, it becomes very difficult to stay in a good frame of mind. Now I stay in as many as I can tolerate (there have been some wonderful albergue stays, but it partially depends on the people you end up among) and then I get a private room when start getting frayed around the edges. You are not alone.Thank you so much for your words! Guess that is the issue maybe, I am not very outgoing when alone.. but that is also why I keep asking myself why I did not get over my issue with sleeping in albergues and just did it.... why was is such a big issue. Maybe O have to accept that is was a problem for me, just as it was and stop thinking why ...
Would have made the whole thing so much easier .
ThanksNo reason to feel guilty @Yellowfriend another time, another camino - whenever it feels right for you. Buen Camino de la Vida, SY
ThanksHello dear Yellowfriend,
You are a unique and special individual. Do not try to judge your success or failure by other's standards. Your body, your mind, your heart and your soul will tell you when and where you need to be, and discomfort and pain begin when you do not listen.
Congratulations on what you have accomplished, where you have traveled, and what you have learned about yourself and about others. I hope you find something beautiful every day, and smile.
Meanwhile, stop beating yourself up. As the pilot said when he roughly landed in a farmer's field, "It's a Win-win. I got everyone safely down, and you got your field plowed." It may not have been the trip he planned, but it was successful.
This was not a failure. This was a Camino. Perhaps it was shorter than you expected, but you had an experience- good or bad- and you'll figure it out eventually.
Thank you very much for your words, it hellps me to see some things some more clear.. I also forgot things what happened because it was overwhelming me. Before Santa Domingo I stayed near Ventosa in a truckers hotel and that felt very lonely and I think there was a turningpoint or I hit my wall. After Santa Domingo I went directly to a mess in Granon and was in tears without reason . After that the walk to Villafranca was very hot, met nobody, bit panic, and after that bus to Burgos and the doubts began to grow...the walk between Belarado and Ciraque was also stressfull I got lost and was on the truckers road. And Ciraqui or what was the name was kind of host town with all empty houses . And I didn't tell others face to face about my feelings so I think they got bigger and bigger in my head. I felt guilty that I didn't enjoy it all more... and then Burgos.. I liked the city and my hotel and needed time to think things over but then the hotel was full and couldn't stay another night and then I got stuck and frozen and booked the ticket home. Now I know for the next time it is inportant to share feelings with others on the camino but I didn't want to bother them. And not speaking Spanish, only some words made me feel insecure also. So maybe next time I will be better prepared. You are in Leon now?Hello @Yellowfriend, Just reread your OP and realised that, yes, I could identify with some of what you felt. I had completely forgotten that Santa Domingo was the place where 'I almost lost it' to quote another thread. I stayed in the excellent but very large albergue and this is where things started to come adrift. I was exhausted but fellow pilgrims were still coming and going and using I-pads with full glare until I could stand it no longer and took my sleeping bag to the reception area to sleep. One of the hospitaleros found me, heard the problem and said to follow him to a quiet dormitory where I could get some sleep - I did. Then there was the walk into Burgos along the industrial estate - like many I missed the turning for the river route - and the whole walk into the city felt unfriendly, no greetings but lots of hard, near hostile, stares from people. A fellow pilgrim who was walking an hour or so ahead of me said later she was reduced to tears by that stretch and took herself off to the first church she came to in the city to pray and try to restore her equilibrium. despite this I met up with people I had met along the way earlier at the mass in the cathedral and some of us went off to eat in a restaurant where the staff made us very welcome. Perhaps I was ready to stay in private accommodation by then but I will have to return to Burgos sometime because I really didn't enjoy being there. Now Leon ...
I am doubting to start in Leon in september with my husband just to finish this Camino, or go to greece lolExcuse me @Yellowfriend for forgetting that not everyone has English has their first language. What I should have said was "Now Leon was a completely different - and positive - experience." I also found the walk to and beyond the deserted golf village depressing, the rain was drizzling, no-one else around. It was one of the lows on the Camino but I was walking as a pilgrim so didn't have any expectations, and wasn't sure even that I would be physically able to reach Santiago. I will send you a PM (private message) later tonight about another thread on the forum that was very thoughtful as I think it might be of interest to you. And you must visit Leon!
s to Burgos and the doubts began to grow...the walk between Belarado and Ciraque was also stressfull I got lost and was on the truckers road. And Ciraqui or what was the name was kind of host town with all empty houses
Hello friend, rather than feeling guilty perhaps you could go deeper. What was your "why" for walking the Camino? Why did you want to do it in the first place? Secondly, my experience was that the Camino was really a reflection of my everyday life. As I look back I saw that this is rather how I live life daily back here in the states. My attitudes, my opinions, my choices to rush or not rush, my anxiety levels at certain situations all reflected how I go through life. These are things I began to realize as I walked and also when I returned home.I walked from SJPP to Burgos, first week with my husband then alone. The scenery was beautiful and the walking went fine. Physicly everything was oké. But I felt alone, though I met some nice people, I enjoyed the diners together. I slept in privaterooms because I got a kind of panic attack in the first albergue I tried, I got the bed in the middle and could not handle it. Saw very few solo walkers, most were together or in a group. Walked 4 days alone and then I think there was a turningpoint? Also stress with the prebookings , had some bad experiences with hotels, so when I started the day and was walking I felt fine and enjoyed but when the time came to go to the sleepingplace I got a bit nervous. Maybe I was too sensitive for the atmosphere in the privaterooms, or the change everyday where to wake up... Finally I stayed 2 nights in Burgos, to give myself some time to think.. went to the laundry and this same day I booked a ticket home. Felt very very sad why.... Am at home now and still don't understand quite well why I was not feeling happy and enjoying the camino. Maybe too big expactations? Felt like being on the wrong time on the wrong place. But keep thinking about it what was it why I felt this way??? Does anyone recognise this feelings? Or is Burgos kind of turning point?
One morning I woke up in Santa Domingo and first thing I heard was the sound of all the walkingpoles and that was at that moment not nice at all, it was irritating me, and all the camino rituals too. So didn't understand myself at all...
Thank you for reading...I feel really guilty that I didn't enjoy more and finish my camino and my dream...
I walked from SJPP to Burgos, first week with my husband then alone. The scenery was beautiful and the walking went fine. Physicly everything was oké. But I felt alone, though I met some nice people, I enjoyed the diners together. I slept in privaterooms because I got a kind of panic attack in the first albergue I tried, I got the bed in the middle and could not handle it. Saw very few solo walkers, most were together or in a group. Walked 4 days alone and then I think there was a turningpoint? Also stress with the prebookings , had some bad experiences with hotels, so when I started the day and was walking I felt fine and enjoyed but when the time came to go to the sleepingplace I got a bit nervous. Maybe I was too sensitive for the atmosphere in the privaterooms, or the change everyday where to wake up... Finally I stayed 2 nights in Burgos, to give myself some time to think.. went to the laundry and this same day I booked a ticket home. Felt very very sad why.... Am at home now and still don't understand quite well why I was not feeling happy and enjoying the camino. Maybe too big expactations? Felt like being on the wrong time on the wrong place. But keep thinking about it what was it why I felt this way??? Does anyone recognise this feelings? Or is Burgos kind of turning point?
One morning I woke up in Santa Domingo and first thing I heard was the sound of all the walkingpoles and that was at that moment not nice at all, it was irritating me, and all the camino rituals too. So didn't understand myself at all...
Thank you for reading...I feel really guilty that I didn't enjoy more and finish my camino and my dream...
The Camino is not for everyone but I deeply respect you for your efforts and hope sincerely that you find what you are looking for, Buen Camino my fellow pilgrim I hope to see you continue your journey from Burgos someday.I walked from SJPP to Burgos, first week with my husband then alone. The scenery was beautiful and the walking went fine. Physicly everything was oké. But I felt alone, though I met some nice people, I enjoyed the diners together. I slept in privaterooms because I got a kind of panic attack in the first albergue I tried, I got the bed in the middle and could not handle it. Saw very few solo walkers, most were together or in a group. Walked 4 days alone and then I think there was a turningpoint? Also stress with the prebookings , had some bad experiences with hotels, so when I started the day and was walking I felt fine and enjoyed but when the time came to go to the sleepingplace I got a bit nervous. Maybe I was too sensitive for the atmosphere in the privaterooms, or the change everyday where to wake up... Finally I stayed 2 nights in Burgos, to give myself some time to think.. went to the laundry and this same day I booked a ticket home. Felt very very sad why.... Am at home now and still don't understand quite well why I was not feeling happy and enjoying the camino. Maybe too big expactations? Felt like being on the wrong time on the wrong place. But keep thinking about it what was it why I felt this way??? Does anyone recognise this feelings? Or is Burgos kind of turning point?
One morning I woke up in Santa Domingo and first thing I heard was the sound of all the walkingpoles and that was at that moment not nice at all, it was irritating me, and all the camino rituals too. So didn't understand myself at all...
Thank you for reading...I feel really guilty that I didn't enjoy more and finish my camino and my dream...
I hope I will learn or understand the lesson of it....I know I was out of my comfort zone but didn't expected the anxiety and and feel disappointed about myself that I didn't go on and dealt with it. But maybe another time with the things I know now....I think it is fair to say that we do not go to the Camino to get what we think we need but rather the opposite .... El Camino WILL give us all the lessons we need... like it or not .... every irritation I accept with gratitude now because I know each irritation I feel is a message / lesson specifically sent to ME .... I rejoice ... well kinda
Thank you for your kind and heartwarming words !The Camino is not for everyone but I deeply respect you for your efforts and hope sincerely that you find what you are looking for, Buen Camino my fellow pilgrim I hope to see you continue your journey from Burgos someday.
I think it is fair to say that we do not go to the Camino to get what we think we need but rather the opposite .... El Camino WILL give us all the lessons we need... like it or not .... every irritation I accept with gratitude now because I know each irritation I feel is a message / lesson specifically sent to ME .... I rejoice ... well kinda
I share your beliefs, but can't figure out yet why there was the need to go home... did I need that or was is taking the easiest way... but it wasn't the easiest way it was a very hard decicion and don't know still if that was the best... I left with sadness and tears, the why keeps my asking myself.The Camino doesn't give us what we want, it gives us what we need ;-) Buen Camino de la Vida, SY
I am almost at theI walked from SJPP to Burgos, first week with my husband then alone. The scenery was beautiful and the walking went fine. Physicly everything was oké. But I felt alone, though I met some nice people, I enjoyed the diners together. I slept in privaterooms because I got a kind of panic attack in the first albergue I tried, I got the bed in the middle and could not handle it. Saw very few solo walkers, most were together or in a group. Walked 4 days alone and then I think there was a turningpoint? Also stress with the prebookings , had some bad experiences with hotels, so when I started the day and was walking I felt fine and enjoyed but when the time came to go to the sleepingplace I got a bit nervous. Maybe I was too sensitive for the atmosphere in the privaterooms, or the change everyday where to wake up... Finally I stayed 2 nights in Burgos, to give myself some time to think.. went to the laundry and this same day I booked a ticket home. Felt very very sad why.... Am at home now and still don't understand quite well why I was not feeling happy and enjoying the camino. Maybe too big expactations? Felt like being on the wrong time on the wrong place. But keep thinking about it what was it why I felt this way??? Does anyone recognise this feelings? Or is Burgos kind of turning point?
One morning I woke up in Santa Domingo and first thing I heard was the sound of all the walkingpoles and that was at that moment not nice at all, it was irritating me, and all the camino rituals too. So didn't understand myself at all...
Thank you for reading...I feel really guilty that I didn't enjoy more and finish my camino and my dream...
I am almost at the end of my Camino (in Finisterre). I feel your pain and you not feel guilty at all! As everyone says it's 'your camino' everyone does/deals with it in their own way. At times I felt the Camino was closing in on me, especially as it got busier (the 100k pilgrims). You may try again, you may not....but do not feel bad, life is too short. Love and best wishes for the futureI share your beliefs, but can't figure out yet why there was the need to go home... did I need that or was is taking the easiest way... but it wasn't the easiest way it was a very hard decicion and don't know still if that was the best... I left with sadness and tears, the why keeps my asking myself.
I walked from SJPP to Burgos, first week with my husband then alone. The scenery was beautiful and the walking went fine. Physicly everything was oké. But I felt alone, though I met some nice people, I enjoyed the diners together. I slept in privaterooms because I got a kind of panic attack in the first albergue I tried, I got the bed in the middle and could not handle it. Saw very few solo walkers, most were together or in a group. Walked 4 days alone and then I think there was a turningpoint? Also stress with the prebookings , had some bad experiences with hotels, so when I started the day and was walking I felt fine and enjoyed but when the time came to go to the sleepingplace I got a bit nervous. Maybe I was too sensitive for the atmosphere in the privaterooms, or the change everyday where to wake up... Finally I stayed 2 nights in Burgos, to give myself some time to think.. went to the laundry and this same day I booked a ticket home. Felt very very sad why.... Am at home now and still don't understand quite well why I was not feeling happy and enjoying the camino. Maybe too big expactations? Felt like being on the wrong time on the wrong place. But keep thinking about it what was it why I felt this way??? Does anyone recognise this feelings? Or is Burgos kind of turning point?
One morning I woke up in Santa Domingo and first thing I heard was the sound of all the walkingpoles and that was at that moment not nice at all, it was irritating me, and all the camino rituals too. So didn't understand myself at all...
Thank you for reading...I feel really guilty that I didn't enjoy more and finish my camino and my dream...
I walked from SJPP to Burgos, first week with my husband then alone. The scenery was beautiful and the walking went fine. Physicly everything was oké. But I felt alone, though I met some nice people, I enjoyed the diners together. I slept in privaterooms because I got a kind of panic attack in the first albergue I tried, I got the bed in the middle and could not handle it. Saw very few solo walkers, most were together or in a group. Walked 4 days alone and then I think there was a turningpoint? Also stress with the prebookings , had some bad experiences with hotels, so when I started the day and was walking I felt fine and enjoyed but when the time came to go to the sleepingplace I got a bit nervous. Maybe I was too sensitive for the atmosphere in the privaterooms, or the change everyday where to wake up... Finally I stayed 2 nights in Burgos, to give myself some time to think.. went to the laundry and this same day I booked a ticket home. Felt very very sad why.... Am at home now and still don't understand quite well why I was not feeling happy and enjoying the camino. Maybe too big expactations? Felt like being on the wrong time on the wrong place. But keep thinking about it what was it why I felt this way??? Does anyone recognise this feelings? Or is Burgos kind of turning point?
One morning I woke up in Santa Domingo and first thing I heard was the sound of all the walkingpoles and that was at that moment not nice at all, it was irritating me, and all the camino rituals too. So didn't understand myself at all...
Thank you for reading...I feel really guilty that I didn't enjoy more and finish my camino and my dream...
Yes @Yellowfriend. I agree with @Durham Parish . Thank you for your honestyYellowfriend, I'm sorry the camino did not live up to your expectations. Thanks for being so honest with us, as well as with yourself.
Thank you so much for your words!!! Feel your understanding of my emotional state I came in, still not gone when at home. I don't like to tell people at home too about these feelings. Feel vulnarable about it all. Thank you for your honnest story about yourself, with love XIt is not about being weak or strong. These spells are unpredictable, in my experience. Loneliness, anxiety, regret, guilt. The banes of being a human being! I've been sucked uncontrollably into all those feelings at many different times in my life, often for no reason at all. I always recovered and sometimes the very next day shook my head and wondered why I couldn't have just shaken it off. But when it comes on, it is very, very hard to talk yourself out of it. I've been there! If I had walked with my husband for the first part of the camino and then set off alone, I imagine I might have felt what you did and gone home early, too. I can see how that would be difficult.
I walked last year alone from SJPP to Santiago and then on to Finisterre and Muxia. I made some close friends along the way and sometimes got separated from them by our different walking paces, other times because I wanted to walk alone (and sometimes met back up with them at the end of the day). I had a lot of foot pain, which was a challenge. But most of the time, I really, really liked walking alone. I liked not having to compromise with anyone when I wanted to stop and investigate a river, a lizard, a winery or a Roman ruin, take photos, wander off the trail or even stop early because a town looked interesting or a fiesta was about to happen. Nobody was there to criticize or make fun of me when I left my walking poles in an earlier village and had to walk 5 kilometers back to get them.
But one time, on a long, lonely, foggy day, I saw a dog alone in a pen, crying. I have to admit I didn't miss my family and other people I love during my walk. But all of a sudden I really missed my dog and worried that he didn't know where I was or if I was coming home. It was like a downward spiral. I started wondering what the heck I was doing there and felt like I was shirking responsibilities at home, being selfish while my husband took care of all the home chores, taking care of my animals, etc.
The next morning, the feeling was gone. It came back a few times, but I was lucky most of the time to really enjoy my time alone on the camino, to find humor in the challenges and unexpected predicaments and proud of myself for overcoming them. I say "luck" because, another time, I absolutely could have had the experience you had. I know, because I've been there, too and you never know when it is going to hit. It's not your fault.
The morning I set off for Burgos, it was raining hard and I was slipping down a muddy slope, wet and miserable. I had heard about the long, industrial approach to the city and dreaded it. (The locals advised against taking the river route, because of the mud and flooding.) In a cafe, I met up with a couple of friends and we marched the 10 kilometers on tarmac into the city together, talking about everything in the world. I don't think I could have done it alone. We got to Burgos and the albergues were full, so we got on our phones and found a hotel room for the three of us. It was great and we stayed another night, this time in the albergue. My whole camino went from good to bad to good to bad to good again. The next big city, Astorga, was a delight.
After reading a lot on this forum and elsewhere, I expected to hate the albergues, but I ended up really enjoying staying in them. It was like summer camp. I liked taking a shower, washing my clothes and setting up my cozy little bunk, then walking around to experience the village. When I went to bed, I put in my earplugs and - after walking all day - read for a bit and then slept very well most of the time. Yes, I sometimes found other pilgrims to be annoying. I am very judgmental. It's an ongoing challenge for me and I didn't get over it on the camino.
This is getting long and I imagine not many people are still reading. Thank you for your honest post. It prompted me to review and express some of my feelings and experiences that I don't talk about much when I describe my camino to people at home now that I'm back, and I appreciate that.
Buen camino, whatever form it takes!
Walked with my son to Burgos in 2013. Went on for a few days on my own after that but just got a feeling I could not go on so I went home. My wife met me at the airport and said 'go back, you wont be able to settle until you finish it'. That was the end of March, come September I was back and this time I felt much more confident. Finished it and home by October 5th. I wonder is it because we started with someone and then had to say goodbye and carry on by ourselves. I dont know the answer but I have been back twice more with no problems. One thing I never do is pre book anything other than the first night. After that it is just faith that keeps me going and everything works out fine. I dont look for other solo pilgrims. I have just learnt to speak to anyone who comes along and if up for it, walk a ways together. So regroup, settle your thoughts, maybe drop expectations and go back as soon as possible. You wont regret itI walked from SJPP to Burgos, first week with my husband then alone. The scenery was beautiful and the walking went fine. Physicly everything was oké. But I felt alone, though I met some nice people, I enjoyed the diners together. I slept in privaterooms because I got a kind of panic attack in the first albergue I tried, I got the bed in the middle and could not handle it. Saw very few solo walkers, most were together or in a group. Walked 4 days alone and then I think there was a turningpoint? Also stress with the prebookings , had some bad experiences with hotels, so when I started the day and was walking I felt fine and enjoyed but when the time came to go to the sleepingplace I got a bit nervous. Maybe I was too sensitive for the atmosphere in the privaterooms, or the change everyday where to wake up... Finally I stayed 2 nights in Burgos, to give myself some time to think.. went to the laundry and this same day I booked a ticket home. Felt very very sad why.... Am at home now and still don't understand quite well why I was not feeling happy and enjoying the camino. Maybe too big expactations? Felt like being on the wrong time on the wrong place. But keep thinking about it what was it why I felt this way??? Does anyone recognise this feelings? Or is Burgos kind of turning point?
One morning I woke up in Santa Domingo and first thing I heard was the sound of all the walkingpoles and that was at that moment not nice at all, it was irritating me, and all the camino rituals too. So didn't understand myself at all...
Thank you for reading...I feel really guilty that I didn't enjoy more and finish my camino and my dream...
Walked with my son to Burgos in 2013. Went on for a few days on my own after that but just got a feeling I could not go on so I went home. My wife met me at the airport and said 'go back, you wont be able to settle until you finish it'. That was the end of March, come September I was back and this time I felt much more confident. Finished it and home by October 5th. I wonder is it because we started with someone and then had to say goodbye and carry on by ourselves. I dont know the answer but I have been back twice more with no problems. One thing I never do is pre book anything other than the first night. After that it is just faith that keeps me going and everything works out fine. I dont look for other solo pilgrims. I have just learnt to speak to anyone who comes along and if up for it, walk a ways together. So regroup, settle your thoughts, maybe drop expectations and go back as soon as possible. You wont regret it
I read to the end! Great stuff! I can relate to everything you said. I walked alone but met people who became firm friends but because of different walking paces, and because we were happy to each walk alone, we usually separated, sometimes for days, with no expectation of meeting up again. There were times when I hunted them out when I reached a town or village and other times I just bumped into them.It is not about being weak or strong. These spells are unpredictable, in my experience. Loneliness, anxiety, regret, guilt. The banes of being a human being! I've been sucked uncontrollably into all those feelings at many different times in my life, often for no reason at all. I always recovered and sometimes the very next day shook my head and wondered why I couldn't have just shaken it off. But when it comes on, it is very, very hard to talk yourself out of it. I've been there! If I had walked with my husband for the first part of the camino and then set off alone, I imagine I might have felt what you did and gone home early, too. I can see how that would be difficult.
I walked last year alone from SJPP to Santiago and then on to Finisterre and Muxia. I made some close friends along the way and sometimes got separated from them by our different walking paces, other times because I wanted to walk alone (and sometimes met back up with them at the end of the day). I had a lot of foot pain, which was a challenge. But most of the time, I really, really liked walking alone. I liked not having to compromise with anyone when I wanted to stop and investigate a river, a lizard, a winery or a Roman ruin, take photos, wander off the trail or even stop early because a town looked interesting or a fiesta was about to happen. Nobody was there to criticize or make fun of me when I left my walking poles in an earlier village and had to walk 5 kilometers back to get them.
But one time, on a long, lonely, foggy day, I saw a dog alone in a pen, crying. I have to admit I didn't miss my family and other people I love during my walk. But all of a sudden I really missed my dog and worried that he didn't know where I was or if I was coming home. It was like a downward spiral. I started wondering what the heck I was doing there and felt like I was shirking responsibilities at home, being selfish while my husband took care of all the home chores, taking care of my animals, etc.
The next morning, the feeling was gone. It came back a few times, but I was lucky most of the time to really enjoy my time alone on the camino, to find humor in the challenges and unexpected predicaments and proud of myself for overcoming them. I say "luck" because, another time, I absolutely could have had the experience you had. I know, because I've been there, too and you never know when it is going to hit. It's not your fault.
The morning I set off for Burgos, it was raining hard and I was slipping down a muddy slope, wet and miserable. I had heard about the long, industrial approach to the city and dreaded it. (The locals advised against taking the river route, because of the mud and flooding.) In a cafe, I met up with a couple of friends and we marched the 10 kilometers on tarmac into the city together, talking about everything in the world. I don't think I could have done it alone. We got to Burgos and the albergues were full, so we got on our phones and found a hotel room for the three of us. It was great and we stayed another night, this time in the albergue. My whole camino went from good to bad to good to bad to good again. The next big city, Astorga, was a delight.
After reading a lot on this forum and elsewhere, I expected to hate the albergues, but I ended up really enjoying staying in them. It was like summer camp. I liked taking a shower, washing my clothes and setting up my cozy little bunk, then walking around to experience the village. When I went to bed, I put in my earplugs and - after walking all day - read for a bit and then slept very well most of the time. Yes, I sometimes found other pilgrims to be annoying. I am very judgmental. It's an ongoing challenge for me and I didn't get over it on the camino.
This is getting long and I imagine not many people are still reading. Thank you for your honest post. It prompted me to review and express some of my feelings and experiences that I don't talk about much when I describe my camino to people at home now that I'm back, and I appreciate that.
Buen camino, whatever form it takes!
Lovely story mate but Aussies are like that lolI read to the end! Great stuff! I can relate to everything you said. I walked alone but met people who became firm friends but because of different walking paces, and because we were happy to each walk alone, we usually separated, sometimes for days, with no expectation of meeting up again. There were times when I hunted them out when I reached a town or village and other times I just bumped into them.
One day I was down in the dumps big time and was staying in a pension, not an albergue. I'd met a group of Canadians but they seemed to be a closed group unto themselves. I wandered into town after a very depressing conversation on the phone to my husband and was so, so down when suddenly I heard my name. I thought I'd mis-heard but then I heard it again and one of my Australian mates (John) came out of pizzeria and called me in. And there were about 14 of my friends, including the (not actually a closed group) Canadians. I was so grateful I just cried. I'm forever grateful to John for calling me in. So the highs and lows are all special on a Camino.
Oh yes I know this feeling and the gratefulness and comfort of seeing friends again when you feel down. Nice story xxI read to the end! Great stuff! I can relate to everything you said. I walked alone but met people who became firm friends but because of different walking paces, and because we were happy to each walk alone, we usually separated, sometimes for days, with no expectation of meeting up again. There were times when I hunted them out when I reached a town or village and other times I just bumped into them.
One day I was down in the dumps big time and was staying in a pension, not an albergue. I'd met a group of Canadians but they seemed to be a closed group unto themselves. I wandered into town after a very depressing conversation on the phone to my husband and was so, so down when suddenly I heard my name. I thought I'd mis-heard but then I heard it again and one of my Australian mates (John) came out of pizzeria and called me in. And there were about 14 of my friends, including the (not actually a closed group) Canadians. I was so grateful I just cried. I'm forever grateful to John for calling me in. So the highs and lows are all special on a Camino.
So true!Lovely story mate but Aussies are like that lol
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