sugargypsy
Active Member
- Time of past OR future Camino
- CF 2019
Planning: CP / CF or CdN 2022
On the one hand, finally things are getting more and more concrete, after months of reading & preparation. Deciding whether to take a rain poncho or jacket, visiting dentist and GP for last check-ups, clean up my apartment, dealing with all the administrative stuff, studying the first sections out of Pamplona more intensively. I'm looking forward to walk up to Alta del Pérdon, at the same time my stomach grumbles a bit when reading comments on the descent to Uterga, but I guess that is somehow part of the preparations.
On the other hand the closer my departure gets there seems to be building up a passive resistance inside myself which results in not training anymore on a regular basis. So stupid! Though the pollen season this year is currently fierce which is a problem for me. For the first time in years I’ve got serious breathing restrictions and my medication should be readjusted. But I won’t get an appointment with the pulmonologist before leaving, so I’ve raised my intake of my anti-asthma spray to test whether that helps (tomorrow I’ll see my GP to get her o.k.) and yes it does help. But I still don’t go walking ...
And then there are these moments ..., like last night. Throughout my room there seemed to rise clouds of steam through like in Yellowstone Park just before the geysers erupt, so the house where I stayed was riding on those steam clouds and fountains of hot water. I just woke up before crashing, because the fountains ran dry ... Or this morning, when my stomach contracted in fear (3 weeks before leaving ), just like before finals, I just wanted to pull the bedcovers over my head and spend the rest of the day in bed.
Which I obviously did not, but got up and wrote down everything first. Normally, I would talk about such an issue with someone of the family or a friend, but that does not work this time, since some/most do not really understand why it's so important for me to walk the Way of St. James therefore would simply just recommend to cancel my flight. Which is no option for me.
Hence my posting here. If anybody may understand these contradictory feelings, I will find that person here . If you’ve had or are having similar experiences, how did you deal with those? Except of course, simply to endure this hodgepodge of mixed emotions till you finally started to walk ;-).
On the other hand the closer my departure gets there seems to be building up a passive resistance inside myself which results in not training anymore on a regular basis. So stupid! Though the pollen season this year is currently fierce which is a problem for me. For the first time in years I’ve got serious breathing restrictions and my medication should be readjusted. But I won’t get an appointment with the pulmonologist before leaving, so I’ve raised my intake of my anti-asthma spray to test whether that helps (tomorrow I’ll see my GP to get her o.k.) and yes it does help. But I still don’t go walking ...
And then there are these moments ..., like last night. Throughout my room there seemed to rise clouds of steam through like in Yellowstone Park just before the geysers erupt, so the house where I stayed was riding on those steam clouds and fountains of hot water. I just woke up before crashing, because the fountains ran dry ... Or this morning, when my stomach contracted in fear (3 weeks before leaving ), just like before finals, I just wanted to pull the bedcovers over my head and spend the rest of the day in bed.
Which I obviously did not, but got up and wrote down everything first. Normally, I would talk about such an issue with someone of the family or a friend, but that does not work this time, since some/most do not really understand why it's so important for me to walk the Way of St. James therefore would simply just recommend to cancel my flight. Which is no option for me.
Hence my posting here. If anybody may understand these contradictory feelings, I will find that person here . If you’ve had or are having similar experiences, how did you deal with those? Except of course, simply to endure this hodgepodge of mixed emotions till you finally started to walk ;-).
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