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Awww I wish you luck finding "the one".Ok, its melodramatic but true... One of the reasons I keep going back is because I'm looking for "her".
This year, before I left for the Camino, I had a dream, literally. I dreamt I meant a woman fair, who could keep up with extended distances, who would sing with me along open expanses and not be shy even when we could be heard by others, always telling good jokes in between.
I met this French girl who satisfied those criteria, and we walked a fabulous walk from SJPdP to Santiago in a breeze, together, all along the way, singing.
She went home to her life and her boyfriend.
Oh well.
On a trip previously in 2009 I met a fantastically beautiful, incredibly smart, politically savvy Peregrina from the USA, who could walk like the wind. We met up again for another trip together in 2011. She was recently wed and had her first child.
I am embarrassed to admit it, but these two camino experiences have bookended my camino memories. I also walked with my mother, my sister, on separate occasions, and alone on still more.
Still though, I can't let go of thinking "what if"? What if on my next camino we actually can meet and explore life beyond the camino together.
The romance of it all, we've all seen the young ones get caught up in it. On the Norte two years ago I talked with a young woman who was explaining that she had to get away from her best friend and that new German boy because after three days that couple had gone from introductions to infatuation and then on to incompatibility, obviously causing a palatable tension among their group.
The thing is, when people ask me about why I go back to the Camino, I tell them its because of the like minded folk. Adventuresome. Seeking. The strength to take on the unknown in a foreign land. Searching for meaning.
But really its because I am looking for her. Like minded.
And also because I lose a bunch of weight at the same time. And get better at Spanish. And there is nothing more relaxing than waking up, walking, eating, walking more, finding a place to stay, showering, laundry, eating, and sleeping, over and over again.
Ok, its melodramatic but true... One of the reasons I keep going back is because I'm looking for "her".
This year, before I left for the Camino, I had a dream, literally. I dreamt I meant a woman fair, who could keep up with extended distances, who would sing with me along open expanses and not be shy even when we could be heard by others, always telling good jokes in between.
I met this French girl who satisfied those criteria, and we walked a fabulous walk from SJPdP to Santiago in a breeze, together, all along the way, singing.
She went home to her life and her boyfriend.
Oh well.
On a trip previously in 2009 I met a fantastically beautiful, incredibly smart, politically savvy Peregrina from the USA, who could walk like the wind. We met up again for another trip together in 2011. She was recently wed and had her first child.
I am embarrassed to admit it, but these two camino experiences have bookended my camino memories. I also walked with my mother, my sister, on separate occasions, and alone on still more.
Still though, I can't let go of thinking "what if"? What if on my next camino we actually can meet and explore life beyond the camino together.
The romance of it all, we've all seen the young ones get caught up in it. On the Norte two years ago I talked with a young woman who was explaining that she had to get away from her best friend and that new German boy because after three days that couple had gone from introductions to infatuation and then on to incompatibility, obviously causing a palatable tension among their group.
The thing is, when people ask me about why I go back to the Camino, I tell them its because of the like minded folk. Adventuresome. Seeking. The strength to take on the unknown in a foreign land. Searching for meaning.
But really its because I am looking for her. Like minded.
And also because I lose a bunch of weight at the same time. And get better at Spanish. And there is nothing more relaxing than waking up, walking, eating, walking more, finding a place to stay, showering, laundry, eating, and sleeping, over and over again.
I am speechless!! Glad you got away from this despicable guy. I am not sure that I would have been so forgiving!!Hmmm....there is a flip side to this. In 2011 I was walking my first Camino, from Vézelay to Santiago. Somewhat shocked by the huge numbers encountered at SJPdP, after five weeks of tranquillity, I nonetheless embraced the different sort of Camino the second half was to be. Outside the bar at Roncesvalles I espied a chap who was on his own, looked exhausted, and looked as though he were an anglophone (he was in fact, Irish). So he wouldn't feel too solitary on his first day (it was his first day), I approached and initiated a friendly conversation. He replied in terse monosyllables and fled! OK, up to him. Others chatted happily with me (I should point out that despite my forum name I am female). Five days later, at Los Arcos, I found myself by chance sharing a room with him. I'd shared rooms before with people, including men, and everyone understood the unwritten and unspoken code of respect and privacy. Not so this Irishman. I'd just got to sleep when I was woken by him (literally) leaping on top of me and pinning me down, and trying to penetrate me. I fought him off, and told him exactly what I thought of that behaviour. I was sufficiently articulate that he did not (and was not able to) try again!
Fast forward a week or so when I again encountered him. I asked for an explanation of both his precipitate escape at Roncesvalles, and his assault (there is no other word) at Los Arcos. He replied that both were occasioned because it was well known (is it?) that women of a certain age go on the Camino just to find a sexual partner . I was aghast! In my innocence I assume that - as a pilgrimage - (which it was for me) it was sacro-sanct. I have never forgotten how I felt then that my pilgrimage had been violated by his gross assumptions. I may add that he had been married nearly 40 years, and that it was the first time he had been "allowed" to go away by himself. This was (according to him) the first time he had even approached another woman. despite being a practising Catholic, he thought everything was permitted on the Camino.
Don't search for love, or sex, on the Camino. As I have learned over four Caminos now, the Camino gives you what you need, not what you want.
Actually Anna is right. He should have reported to police as who knows if he may have tried this again on someone else. Perhaps not,as by you giving him a rollicking may have sorted him out. Some "pilgrim" there!! Still speechless!!I don't know whether I'm more shocked that you don't seem to have reported this attempted rape or that you actually spoke with this creature later on your journey. I'm so sorry that this should've occurred and hope that you've been able to get some resolution. However finding or listening to his "excuses and reasoning" wouldn't be mine.
Still though, I can't let go of thinking "what if"? What if on my next camino we actually can meet and explore life beyond the camino together.
Now this would be my ideal camino!On my third Camino I was taking a selfie off to the side of the path when a female voice offered to help me. I politely declined without stopping what I was doing. When I finished, I saw the female walking away. I caught up with her about 300 meters later. I almost gasped at how beautiful she was when I turned to thank her. I quickly apologized for not accepting her help. Thankfully she was not offended. We walked together for the rest of the day. I asked her to dinner that night. About halfway through dinner I pulled out my phone and took her picture because I wanted to remember the exact moment I fell in love with her. After dinner I put my arm around her as we were walking back to her albergue. She stopped, turned to me, and kissed me.
We are now married and planning our next Camino.
How fun. An invigorating conversation about love (mostly). Sprinkled with tragedy (sadly).
What strikes me most in the replies to this thread is the whole, "Find local" theme. Damn straight. That would be ideal. I think the hope of finding love on the Camino, as opposed to at work or at the grocery store, is that I am a different person there, one that I want to be like more, (relaxed, confident, experienced, yet open to new worlds). I want to find love as that person. I know I know its a personal issue, I should make sure that the person I am here and there are the same. Working on it so don't give me shit. I think this may resonate with others along the same journey.
Now as far as the people who don't want this to be a hook up site, or the Camino as one, I had no intention of doing so. Just an honest communication of my single most human trait and desire, as applied to the life changing thing I do every year. Hook up is far from anything I described.
I said it was melodramatic, and I dreaded looking at the responses this morning as I woke up, but again my friends here inspire.
What strikes me most in the replies to this thread is the whole, "Find local" theme. Damn straight. That would be ideal.
I guess I am of the generation (I'm 68) which - in the 60s and 70s - got used to being harassed, touched-up, and generally demeaned by men. That is NOT to say it was all right! I think now I'd have reported it, but maybe I had only myself to blame sharing a room to save money when the dorms were full. He thought it was a signal. I think he was genuinely ignorant of how to behave, and absolutely lacking in self-knowledge, and really believed a Camino Granny was fair game. I am not excusing him, but I have to forgive. And I can assure you all that my verbal riposte was...well...quite castrating!I don't know whether I'm more shocked that you don't seem to have reported this attempted rape or that you actually spoke with this creature later on your journey. I'm so sorry that this should've occurred and hope that you've been able to get some resolution. However finding or listening to his "excuses and reasoning" wouldn't be mine.
maybe I had only myself to blame sharing a room to save money
You should certainly NOT be blaming yourself.His despicable behaviour was his choice to make. But I can imagine the good rollicking you gave him!! A strong Suffolk woman! I bet he did not try it on anyone again! Good for you.I guess I am of the generation (I'm 68) which - in the 60s and 70s - got used to being harassed, touched-up, and generally demeaned by men. That is NOT to say it was all right! I think now I'd have reported it, but maybe I had only myself to blame sharing a room to save money when the dorms were full. He thought it was a signal. I think he was genuinely ignorant of how to behave, and absolutely lacking in self-knowledge, and really believed a Camino Granny was fair game. I am not excusing him, but I have to forgive. And I can assure you all that my verbal riposte was...well...quite castrating!
I have seen the book you mention, the one about hanky panky on the Camino. I was stunned when I saw, and bored and incredulpus after the first two pages. Alas it appears some have taken its content as an adequate image of the Camino. So sorry this happened to you. Has was mentioned, never did I think twice about sharing a dorm with men because surlely on the Camino the mindset is different? I will try to keep that i,age of the Camino.I guess I am of the generation (I'm 68) which - in the 60s and 70s - got used to being harassed, touched-up, and generally demeaned by men. That is NOT to say it was all right! I think now I'd have reported it, but maybe I had only myself to blame sharing a room to save money when the dorms were full. He thought it was a signal. I think he was genuinely ignorant of how to behave, and absolutely lacking in self-knowledge, and really believed a Camino Granny was fair game. I am not excusing him, but I have to forgive. And I can assure you all that my verbal riposte was...well...quite castrating!
Well Damien. It's not silly. I'm secretly hoping for the sameOk, its melodramatic but true... One of the reasons I keep going back is because I'm looking for "her".
This year, before I left for the Camino, I had a dream, literally. I dreamt I met a woman fair, who could keep up with extended distances, who would sing with me along open expanses and not be shy even when we could be heard by others, always telling good jokes in between.
I met this French girl who satisfied those criteria, and we walked a fabulous walk from SJPdP to Santiago in a breeze, together, all along the way, singing.
She went home to her life and her boyfriend.
Oh well.
On a trip previously in 2009 I met a fantastically beautiful, incredibly smart, politically savvy Peregrina from the USA, who could walk like the wind. We met up again for another trip together in 2011. She was recently wed and had her first child.
I am embarrassed to admit it, but these two camino experiences have bookended my camino memories. I also walked with my mother, my sister, on separate occasions, and alone on still more.
Still though, I can't let go of thinking "what if"? What if on my next camino we actually can meet and explore life beyond the camino together.
The romance of it all, we've all seen the young ones get caught up in it. On the Norte two years ago I talked with a young woman who was explaining that she had to get away from her best friend and that new German boy because after three days that couple had gone from introductions to infatuation and then on to incompatibility, obviously causing a palatable tension among their group.
The thing is, when people ask me about why I go back to the Camino, I tell them its because of the like minded folk. Adventuresome. Seeking. The strength to take on the unknown in a foreign land. Searching for meaning.
But really its because I am looking for her. Like minded.
And also because I lose a bunch of weight at the same time. And get better at Spanish. And there is nothing more relaxing than waking up, walking, eating, walking more, finding a place to stay, showering, laundry, eating, and sleeping, over and over again.
Wanting? Wanting or needing or expecting?
... I think the hope of finding love on the Camino, as opposed to at work or at the grocery store, is that I am a different person there, one that I want to be like more, (relaxed, confident, experienced, yet open to new worlds). I want to find love as that person. I know I know its a personal issue, I should make sure that the person I am here and there are the same. ...
[QUOTE="
Silly me, wanting to fall in love on the Camino
.
My first Camino was taken to try to come to terms with huge emotional pain after the ending of a long term and wonderful marriage - and the last thing I was looking for was romance. I met amazing people from around the world, many of whom I am still in contact with - young and old - all with their own stories. And I found out more about myself than I knew was possible - and started to really like myself - perhaps for the very first time.
But, I did connect with someone in Santiago - a meeting for only a few minutes after not having seen him for two weeks - and, anyway - when I was back home - he contacted me, out of the blue - and Romance blossomed - beautifully. He courted and wooed me from across the seas with beautiful words and anyway - I fell in love - like I never thought I ever could again. But, he couldn't cope with the long distance relationship in the end and after over two years of sharing this love - my heart has been broken all over again.
But - I walk in Spain whenever I can because I learn more there about myself and am always met with such loving kindness, from total strangers, that stuns me time and again. I will never close my heart though, to the possibility of love - despite my pain. The older I get the more I learn that I have to stay open, and vulnerable and loving - however much that opens me to potential hurt - and one day - perhaps - as has been said here - when I least expect it, I will find someone who will love me as strongly back, in the way I want and need to be loved. But heartache is real - and this touched me deeper than I realised and something in my Soul was broken - perhaps because I fell in love with someone from the Camino and I thought I could trust them - so beware - but never stop risking love. Not ever - and it does come and we do get what we need - not what we want - for a reason....
Thank you for sharing and your openess - and Bon Courage - and Buen Camino x
Makes you wonder why he was "never allowed on his own"....Hmmm....there is a flip side to this. In 2011 I was walking my first Camino, from Vézelay to Santiago. Somewhat shocked by the huge numbers encountered at SJPdP, after five weeks of tranquillity, I nonetheless embraced the different sort of Camino the second half was to be. Outside the bar at Roncesvalles I espied a chap who was on his own, looked exhausted, and looked as though he were an anglophone (he was in fact, Irish). So he wouldn't feel too solitary on his first day (it was his first day), I approached and initiated a friendly conversation. He replied in terse monosyllables and fled! OK, up to him. Others chatted happily with me (I should point out that despite my forum name I am female). Five days later, at Los Arcos, I found myself by chance sharing a room with him. I'd shared rooms before with people, including men, and everyone understood the unwritten and unspoken code of respect and privacy. Not so this Irishman. I'd just got to sleep when I was woken by him (literally) leaping on top of me and pinning me down, and trying to penetrate me. I fought him off, and told him exactly what I thought of that behaviour. I was sufficiently articulate that he did not (and was not able to) try again!
Fast forward a week or so when I again encountered him. I asked for an explanation of both his precipitate escape at Roncesvalles, and his assault (there is no other word) at Los Arcos. He replied that both were occasioned because it was well known (is it?) that women of a certain age go on the Camino just to find a sexual partner . I was aghast! In my innocence I assume that - as a pilgrimage - (which it was for me) it was sacro-sanct. I have never forgotten how I felt then that my pilgrimage had been violated by his gross assumptions. I may add that he had been married nearly 40 years, and that it was the first time he had been "allowed" to go away by himself. This was (according to him) the first time he had even approached another woman. despite being a practising Catholic, he thought everything was permitted on the Camino.
Don't search for love, or sex, on the Camino. As I have learned over four Caminos now, the Camino gives you what you need, not what you want.
Oh, I love this story. I am married and wish my husband would walk with me. So many times along the route, I wanted to share something with him. I'll walk again in May, and I'll feel the same. But he will be home on the couch. Ah well... love is funny like that.On my third Camino I was taking a selfie off to the side of the path when a female voice offered to help me. I politely declined without stopping what I was doing. When I finished, I saw the female walking away. I caught up with her about 300 meters later. I almost gasped at how beautiful she was when I turned to thank her. I quickly apologized for not accepting her help. Thankfully she was not offended. We walked together for the rest of the day. I asked her to dinner that night. About halfway through dinner I pulled out my phone and took her picture because I wanted to remember the exact moment I fell in love with her. After dinner I put my arm around her as we were walking back to her albergue. She stopped, turned to me, and kissed me.
We are now married and planning our next Camino.
Hi JaneCaroline,My first Camino was taken to try to come to terms with huge emotional pain after the ending of a long term and wonderful marriage - and the last thing I was looking for was romance. I met amazing people from around the world, many of whom I am still in contact with - young and old - all with their own stories. And I found out more about myself than I knew was possible - and started to really like myself - perhaps for the very first time.
But, I did connect with someone in Santiago - a meeting for only a few minutes after not having seen him for two weeks - and, anyway - when I was back home - he contacted me, out of the blue - and Romance blossomed - beautifully. He courted and wooed me from across the seas with beautiful words and anyway - I fell in love - like I never thought I ever could again. But, he couldn't cope with the long distance relationship in the end and after over two years of sharing this love - my heart has been broken all over again.
But - I walk in Spain whenever I can because I learn more there about myself and am always met with such loving kindness, from total strangers, that stuns me time and again. I will never close my heart though, to the possibility of love - despite my pain. The older I get the more I learn that I have to stay open, and vulnerable and loving - however much that opens me to potential hurt - and one day - perhaps - as has been said here - when I least expect it, I will find someone who will love me as strongly back, in the way I want and need to be loved. But heartache is real - and this touched me deeper than I realised and something in my Soul was broken - perhaps because I fell in love with someone from the Camino and I thought I could trust them - so beware - but never stop risking love. Not ever - and it does come and we do get what we need - not what we want - for a reason....
Thank you for sharing and your openess - and Bon Courage - and Buen Camino x
@ChristineW67 can you get your husband to meet you towards the end, or in Santiago? Book into somewhere nice. I've done it with my husband and it is the most romantic and beautiful thing! And you do get to share at least a few memories.
I am planning on doing my first Camino in 2016 or 2017 and my husband and i are trying to plan on him meeting me somewhere on the latter part of the journey so that we can finish it together.. . We are looking forward to making the memories togetherHow cool would that be, you could look at each other at odd moments and say "we'll always have Muxia" ....
Seriously, sunset at Finisterre was one of those times I thought being a pair rather than just me might be pretty fun
Ok, its melodramatic but true... One of the reasons I keep going back is because I'm looking for "her".
This year, before I left for the Camino, I had a dream, literally. I dreamt I met a woman fair, who could keep up with extended distances, who would sing with me along open expanses and not be shy even when we could be heard by others, always telling good jokes in between.
I met this French girl who satisfied those criteria, and we walked a fabulous walk from SJPdP to Santiago in a breeze, together, all along the way, singing.
She went home to her life and her boyfriend.
Oh well.
On a trip previously in 2009 I met a fantastically beautiful, incredibly smart, politically savvy Peregrina from the USA, who could walk like the wind. We met up again for another trip together in 2011. She was recently wed and had her first child.
I am embarrassed to admit it, but these two camino experiences have bookended my camino memories. I also walked with my mother, my sister, on separate occasions, and alone on still more.
Still though, I can't let go of thinking "what if"? What if on my next camino we actually can meet and explore life beyond the camino together.
The romance of it all, we've all seen the young ones get caught up in it. On the Norte two years ago I talked with a young woman who was explaining that she had to get away from her best friend and that new German boy because after three days that couple had gone from introductions to infatuation and then on to incompatibility, obviously causing a palatable tension among their group.
The thing is, when people ask me about why I go back to the Camino, I tell them its because of the like minded folk. Adventuresome. Seeking. The strength to take on the unknown in a foreign land. Searching for meaning.
But really its because I am looking for her. Like minded.
And also because I lose a bunch of weight at the same time. And get better at Spanish. And there is nothing more relaxing than waking up, walking, eating, walking more, finding a place to stay, showering, laundry, eating, and sleeping, over and over again.
While I was getting ready for the Camino Friends and Family made suggestive remarks about me meeting someone in Spain. I thought about it too, but not as hopeful as they seemed to be. There were opportunities that I didn't let develop. I was a little regretful, but I also believe in it wasn't meant to be. I think I will go back to the Camino someday, I missed it the minute I was finished. I'm hoping for me I will go back with that special someone to get to know them more and similar to what you wrote that I could sing with and tell jokes with. I'm hopeful that I will find a peregrino love too, even if he doesn't know he's one yet.Ok, its melodramatic but true... One of the reasons I keep going back is because I'm looking for "her".
This year, before I left for the Camino, I had a dream, literally. I dreamt I met a woman fair, who could keep up with extended distances, who would sing with me along open expanses and not be shy even when we could be heard by others, always telling good jokes in between.
I met this French girl who satisfied those criteria, and we walked a fabulous walk from SJPdP to Santiago in a breeze, together, all along the way, singing.
She went home to her life and her boyfriend.
Oh well.
On a trip previously in 2009 I met a fantastically beautiful, incredibly smart, politically savvy Peregrina from the USA, who could walk like the wind. We met up again for another trip together in 2011. She was recently wed and had her first child.
I am embarrassed to admit it, but these two camino experiences have bookended my camino memories. I also walked with my mother, my sister, on separate occasions, and alone on still more.
Still though, I can't let go of thinking "what if"? What if on my next camino we actually can meet and explore life beyond the camino together.
The romance of it all, we've all seen the young ones get caught up in it. On the Norte two years ago I talked with a young woman who was explaining that she had to get away from her best friend and that new German boy because after three days that couple had gone from introductions to infatuation and then on to incompatibility, obviously causing a palatable tension among their group.
The thing is, when people ask me about why I go back to the Camino, I tell them its because of the like minded folk. Adventuresome. Seeking. The strength to take on the unknown in a foreign land. Searching for meaning.
But really its because I am looking for her. Like minded.
And also because I lose a bunch of weight at the same time. And get better at Spanish. And there is nothing more relaxing than waking up, walking, eating, walking more, finding a place to stay, showering, laundry, eating, and sleeping, over and over again.
Hi LisaAnn,It's not silly at all wanting to find someone who shares your passion for the Camino. I've always thought I would find someone during my travels. I just finished my first Camino 2 weeks ago by bike - but that's another story. Hopefully my next Camino will be walking sometime in 2016.
I do have a quick story to share of meeting the most wonderful man I was ever in a relationship with. We met on a trip to Israel with mutual friends, there was an instant attraction. As we were traveling with the same small group, 9 people total, we spent the next 8 days together, almost 24/7. During this time it remained platonic until the night he left when he first kissed me. The due to my career/travel schedule and his travels, the next 6 months or so we emailed or spoke daily and saw each other when we managed to be in the same country/state on a series of additional amazing trips - hiking the Jungfrau region in Switzerland, Mountain Biking in VT and Upstate NY and other road trips. He made everything so special, took care of most of the details and always did the little things. Needless to say, we both thought this was it. Then, I came back to the US... My project in London was finished so I was back home for a while and so was he. Once we were both back in our 'regular' lives and living close to each other, things started to unravel. We both had this idyllic image of each other that was cultivated by the fact that all of the time we spent together was under calm and relaxed situations. There was never any stress. Now spending time together in our normal day to day environments was tearing us apart. The relationship ended around 3 months later. We still communicate all the time, it's very rare a week goes by without an email from him and usually it's a lot more often than that. I probably should put an end to it though as I don't think I will ever fully move on until I do. I guess somehow I hold out hope even though I know it's really not possible.
The specific reasons for our fighting and the issues don't really matter, the fact was/is the person you are while traveling, especially the Camino, isn't fully indicative of who you are in real life. You only get the best parts during this time. The funny thing about it, while I'm certainly not looking for someone, I still believe it's possible to find the right person in that ideal environment and for it to develop into lasting love.
Keep an open mind, think positive and hopefully the right person will enter your life at the right time and place. Be that the Camino or somewhere closer to home, you never know what's in store for you.
Buen Camino!
Any personal information that you publish on this forum is voluntary. Sometimes when users publishes very personal information, we (the mods) will go in and edit out that information just to protect that user. Contact me in you use your full name as your username, and would like to change it to something else.Ome would hope the forum would put into place some systems in place to preserve our anonymity as we all have avatars.
Thank Ivar. What I meant is that since most lf us use "pen names" and our email addressesare never shown, the only way I could imagine a problem is he the system was hacked in some way, giving access to an email to tie to a story.Any personal information that you publish on this forum is voluntary. Sometimes when users publishes very personal information, we (the mods) will go in and edit out that information just to protect that user. Contact me in you use your full name as your username, and would like to change it to something else.
Thank Ivar. What I meant is that since most lf us use "pen names" and our email addressesare never shown, the only way I could imagine a problem is he the system was hacked in some way, giving access to an email to tie to a story.
Any personal information that you publish on this forum is voluntary. Sometimes when users publishes very personal information, we (the mods) will go in and edit out that information just to protect that user. Contact me in you use your full name as your username, and would like to change it to something else.
I often need to hang a pair of socks on my pack to dry them, so it is never a symbol of anything other than the fact I have done my washing!!!I can see possibilities - place your forum patch on the right side of your pack if you are looking, or the left side if you are not. Or one sock hanging from your backpack means you are looking, two that you have found someone, none that you are not in a relationship and do not want to be!
I can see possibilities - place your forum patch on the right side of your pack if you are looking, or the left side if you are not. Or one sock hanging from your backpack means you are looking, two that you have found someone, none that you are not in a relationship and do not want to be!
Beautifully put!!!Lest we forget, there's always the opposite as well, that is, when you go on camino and your significant other at home, who is not a walker, doesn't understand it, and, upon your return, says 'good-bye.'
Reminds me of the old gentleman I met years ago who owned a used book store. One day, his wife said, 'either you get rid of the books or I'm leaving.' He kept the books! If forced to choose, I would vote camino.
It has been a few days since last post (mine, totally incidentally) in this thread which I've enjoyed oh so much.
Don't really want to disclose the fact about my experience and in what year (or where) it had happened but I feel so close to Damien in this. Of course every experience, circumstances, facts are different in my case. I hold myself back for a long time in writing this because English isn't my mother language and I was afraid I'd be misunderstood. Here it goes nevertheless...
It did happened and it was so so so very nice, gentle, sweet. Our relationship while on Camino. Helping each other. She was a wealthy younger woman and I was a poor caring man. Oh, yes, I know what you meren now, but it wasn't so. She was also caring - I still dream of her caressing me in minutes before I fell asleep. For many evenings. And I was able to cook her dinners or buy a drink even if walking with much less money than she was.
We are still in contact but nothing happened since as we agreed (much to my dissappiontment to be true) our relationship couldn't work in "reallife". It's kind of OK with me, but I'm still thinking of it although not in love with her. It was just so beautiful. I don't choose my Camino to get to know someone in this way (well, obviously not when I'm choosing so solitary Caminos...) but am opened to experiences as that one was. To make it short - not looking for but opened.
I somewhat agree with many posters that true soul could be waiting in a nearby mall or..., but for me being one with another soul on Camino means much more than trying to make relationship with a person from reallife and "test" it on Camino. I'm all the time present here in this shitty life, full of hipocrisy, false smiles, acting etc. On Camino I believe people are much more true. Whether they don't hold on that after returning to "reallife" that's not my problem (actually it is but I don't wan't it to be).
Does this makes any sense? It does to me. I don't plan my Caminos according to the crowds, I'm avoiding them actually, but...
Love yourself. Love the people around you. Just e kind and walk away with smile!
And Ultreia!
Texas guy - I truly like your sentiment. I am planning on my first camino in May 2016. I think I will wake up every day from now until then - thinking listen to the wind and the rain. My decision to make the camino came after the loss of my husband. I know I have been looking for him since I lost him. Maybe I will find him there whispering to me when the wind blows.Sometimes things are closer than we think. Enjoy your Camino, listen to the wind, and the rain. If she means to be there. She will be. If not, maybe she is close to you, wherever you are.
Texasguy
................................................................................................ Maybe I will find him there whispering to me when the wind blows.
Otherwise - yes: caring for each other. Isn't that what friendship and love is all about? OK, and a lot of smiles
And that is why I keep walking... I like the person I am on the Camino too. Slowly, slowly here and there are merging into one.
Dear Mickie,Texas guy - I truly like your sentiment. I am planning on my first camino in May 2016. I think I will wake up every day from now until then - thinking listen to the wind and the rain. My decision to make the camino came after the loss of my husband. I know I have been looking for him since I lost him. Maybe I will find him there whispering to me when the wind blows.
You'll find her... Keep looking!Ok, its melodramatic but true... One of the reasons I keep going back is because I'm looking for "her".
This year, before I left for the Camino, I had a dream, literally. I dreamt I met a woman fair, who could keep up with extended distances, who would sing with me along open expanses and not be shy even when we could be heard by others, always telling good jokes in between.
I met this French girl who satisfied those criteria, and we walked a fabulous walk from SJPdP to Santiago in a breeze, together, all along the way, singing.
She went home to her life and her boyfriend.
Oh well.
On a trip previously in 2009 I met a fantastically beautiful, incredibly smart, politically savvy Peregrina from the USA, who could walk like the wind. We met up again for another trip together in 2011. She was recently wed and had her first child.
I am embarrassed to admit it, but these two camino experiences have bookended my camino memories. I also walked with my mother, my sister, on separate occasions, and alone on still more.
Still though, I can't let go of thinking "what if"? What if on my next camino we actually can meet and explore life beyond the camino together.
The romance of it all, we've all seen the young ones get caught up in it. On the Norte two years ago I talked with a young woman who was explaining that she had to get away from her best friend and that new German boy because after three days that couple had gone from introductions to infatuation and then on to incompatibility, obviously causing a palatable tension among their group.
The thing is, when people ask me about why I go back to the Camino, I tell them its because of the like minded folk. Adventuresome. Seeking. The strength to take on the unknown in a foreign land. Searching for meaning.
But really its because I am looking for her. Like minded.
And also because I lose a bunch of weight at the same time. And get better at Spanish. And there is nothing more relaxing than waking up, walking, eating, walking more, finding a place to stay, showering, laundry, eating, and sleeping, over and over again.
Be careful, you know the saying, three strikes and your out!Ok, its melodramatic but true... One of the reasons I keep going back is because I'm looking for "her".
This year, before I left for the Camino, I had a dream, literally. I dreamt I met a woman fair, who could keep up with extended distances, who would sing with me along open expanses and not be shy even when we could be heard by others, always telling good jokes in between.
I met this French girl who satisfied those criteria, and we walked a fabulous walk from SJPdP to Santiago in a breeze, together, all along the way, singing.
She went home to her life and her boyfriend.
Oh well.
On a trip previously in 2009 I met a fantastically beautiful, incredibly smart, politically savvy Peregrina from the USA, who could walk like the wind. We met up again for another trip together in 2011. She was recently wed and had her first child.
I am embarrassed to admit it, but these two camino experiences have bookended my camino memories. I also walked with my mother, my sister, on separate occasions, and alone on still more.
Still though, I can't let go of thinking "what if"? What if on my next camino we actually can meet and explore life beyond the camino together.
The romance of it all, we've all seen the young ones get caught up in it. On the Norte two years ago I talked with a young woman who was explaining that she had to get away from her best friend and that new German boy because after three days that couple had gone from introductions to infatuation and then on to incompatibility, obviously causing a palatable tension among their group.
The thing is, when people ask me about why I go back to the Camino, I tell them its because of the like minded folk. Adventuresome. Seeking. The strength to take on the unknown in a foreign land. Searching for meaning.
But really its because I am looking for her. Like minded.
And also because I lose a bunch of weight at the same time. And get better at Spanish. And there is nothing more relaxing than waking up, walking, eating, walking more, finding a place to stay, showering, laundry, eating, and sleeping, over and over again.
I can see possibilities - place your forum patch on the right side of your pack if you are looking, or the left side if you are not. Or one sock hanging from your backpack means you are looking, two that you have found someone, none that you are not in a relationship and do not want to be!
Dear Mickie,
Those moments when the wind whisper to us, when the rain tells us to enjoy it and keep on walking, the quiet yet noticeable songs the birds play for us, they are ALWAYS reminders of those who have walked with us, and now, although not in a visible way, are stil journeying with us.
Buen Camino,
Texasguy[/QUO
Michelle,Texas Guy,
I keep reading this and coming back to it to read it again and again. I keep wanting to send you a quick note to say thank you - for both of your posts - yet anything I think to write seems trite. But all I can come back to is - thank you. I am touched beyond words.
Michele
Happy update! Last time, I started in Pamplona because I feared the terrain in the first bit. I have a serious balance disorder and use a service dog. Well, I planned to hike again in May with my dog, but he suffered a mild injury and I can't risk his health. So, hubby has volunteered to be my service-human and get me through the first 10 days. Then I'll be joined by a girlfriend in Logrono. I can't believe he is going to walk with me! I bet he will be sad to depart the way in Logrono. Maybe he will walk the whole way with me on round-three. Third time is a charm.@ChristineW67 can you get your husband to meet you towards the end, or in Santiago? Book into somewhere nice. I've done it with my husband and it is the most romantic and beautiful thing! And you do get to share at least a few memories.
We are in Roncevalles where are you? My friend says dinner is at 7 don't be late...Ok, its melodramatic but true... One of the reasons I keep going back is because I'm looking for "her".
This year, before I left for the Camino, I had a dream, literally. I dreamt I met a woman fair, who could keep up with extended distances, who would sing with me along open expanses and not be shy even when we could be heard by others, always telling good jokes in between.
I met this French girl who satisfied those criteria, and we walked a fabulous walk from SJPdP to Santiago in a breeze, together, all along the way, singing.
She went home to her life and her boyfriend.
Oh well.
On a trip previously in 2009 I met a fantastically beautiful, incredibly smart, politically savvy Peregrina from the USA, who could walk like the wind. We met up again for another trip together in 2011. She was recently wed and had her first child.
I am embarrassed to admit it, but these two camino experiences have bookended my camino memories. I also walked with my mother, my sister, on separate occasions, and alone on still more.
Still though, I can't let go of thinking "what if"? What if on my next camino we actually can meet and explore life beyond the camino together.
The romance of it all, we've all seen the young ones get caught up in it. On the Norte two years ago I talked with a young woman who was explaining that she had to get away from her best friend and that new German boy because after three days that couple had gone from introductions to infatuation and then on to incompatibility, obviously causing a palatable tension among their group.
The thing is, when people ask me about why I go back to the Camino, I tell them its because of the like minded folk. Adventuresome. Seeking. The strength to take on the unknown in a foreign land. Searching for meaning.
But really its because I am looking for her. Like minded.
And also because I lose a bunch of weight at the same time. And get better at Spanish. And there is nothing more relaxing than waking up, walking, eating, walking more, finding a place to stay, showering, laundry, eating, and sleeping, over and over again.
Did you report the incident to either the Hospitalero or the police?Hmmm....there is a flip side to this. In 2011 I was walking my first Camino, from Vézelay to Santiago. Somewhat shocked by the huge numbers encountered at SJPdP, after five weeks of tranquillity, I nonetheless embraced the different sort of Camino the second half was to be. Outside the bar at Roncesvalles I espied a chap who was on his own, looked exhausted, and looked as though he were an anglophone (he was in fact, Irish). So he wouldn't feel too solitary on his first day (it was his first day), I approached and initiated a friendly conversation. He replied in terse monosyllables and fled! OK, up to him. Others chatted happily with me (I should point out that despite my forum name I am female). Five days later, at Los Arcos, I found myself by chance sharing a room with him. I'd shared rooms before with people, including men, and everyone understood the unwritten and unspoken code of respect and privacy. Not so this Irishman. I'd just got to sleep when I was woken by him (literally) leaping on top of me and pinning me down, and trying to penetrate me. I fought him off, and told him exactly what I thought of that behaviour. I was sufficiently articulate that he did not (and was not able to) try again!
Fast forward a week or so when I again encountered him. I asked for an explanation of both his precipitate escape at Roncesvalles, and his assault (there is no other word) at Los Arcos. He replied that both were occasioned because it was well known (is it?) that women of a certain age go on the Camino just to find a sexual partner . I was aghast! In my innocence I assume that - as a pilgrimage - (which it was for me) it was sacro-sanct. I have never forgotten how I felt then that my pilgrimage had been violated by his gross assumptions. I may add that he had been married nearly 40 years, and that it was the first time he had been "allowed" to go away by himself. This was (according to him) the first time he had even approached another woman. despite being a practising Catholic, he thought everything was permitted on the Camino.
Don't search for love, or sex, on the Camino. As I have learned over four Caminos now, the Camino gives you what you need, not what you want.
T M I …...Just remembered this box of abandoned condoms, which made me laugh so much at the time - Damien's obv not the only one who gave up on romance:
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