The camino changed my relationship with my mother. And later my sister.
My mother announced in 2005 that she would be accompanying her friend from childhood, an adventurous sort, to walk the camino from SJPdP to wherever. My mother, 55 years old, was a cancer survivor at the time, recently in remission, double mastectomies, some of you may unfortunately understand... She had been "clean" about 4 years, which was an outstanding sign for her prognosis.
My mother and I had only shared a (relatively) brief excursion before, along with her friend, on the Kalalau Trail, on the north shore of Kauai... Its about an 11 mile hike in and we broke it into 3 days or so... Its a different sort of hiking though, but laid the foundation.
I met my mom in Leon, about a month into her Camino. I ORDERED my mother to be in Leon on the date I arrived, and I was quite surprised when she checked into my room at Hotel Paris before I did! She took a taxi to make it in time. She knew what she needed to do, but I was disappointed that her "crew", her friend and her friend's family, were nowhere to be seen. They were behind schedule.
So my mother and I spent a day in Leon, going to museums, checking out the place, waiting for them to catch up. And the next day her friend arrived... But she arrived more annoyed than happy...
So now me, like totally wanting to get out there and do this, was like, "let's leave tomorrow."
Only her friend wanted to stay and enjoy a rest day in the city (she had no timelines).
At this point, having not walked a meter on my first camino, and knowing that the likelihood of actually making it to Santiago was diminishing with each day waiting in Leon, I told my mother, "Let's go without them."
Now, surprisingly, my mother immediately agreed. It seems that the best friends from childhood may have had some tension along the way, about money and stuff. My mother was eager to continue with a new partner.
And so we went off, from Leon to Mazarife, to Astorga, to Rabanal, etc. etc. etc.
Each day we grew closer. I remember sharing a wonderful night in a hotel in Ponferrada after so many alburgues because we were just fed up with the bunk bed situation. A communal "hey let's take a break" moment.
Well, we made it to Santiago in time to meet our flight departures. (Not a day to spare.)...
Later we came back and shared our marvelous pictures. We talked about the effort, that it was a once and and lifetime trip that SHE and I shared together...
She and I spoke, EVERYDAY, on the phone, after that trip when we came back.
We shared iMovie videos of the adventure with all friends and family at any family occasion. It was obvious to all that we shared a unique, solid bond, built on the foundation of our mother/son relationship. but driven to new heights by our adult/adult friendship encouraged by our shared Camino.
She also came back and noticed that she had some trouble breathing.
It seems that despite being clean for nearly 5 years, her cancer had spread, and now affected her lungs...
3 years later she was dead.
I spoke at her funeral, and my eulogy was titled, "My mother was my best friend."
I remember my sister being somewhat jealous of my relationship with my mother. She had the grandkids, which made her #1 on the totem pole, but didn't have that shared, secret understanding of sharing the walk of about 260km together across the Spanish unknown.
So, on the day of my mother's funeral, I turned to my sister and said, "Let's do the Camino."
My sister was able to experience all that my mother and I had, just with me. She was brought into the fold.
And today, my sister is my best friend.
Ok, I'll admit that you had me shedding tears over your loss. It's so hard to lose your Momma at any age. It's so amazing that you got to be so close to her before she "graduated earth"
Dear Joodle,
Your post resonated with me. I will therefore share some thoughts with you.
Doing the Camino, in your situation, may be your best decision ever. It is in times of dire need that the Camino can provide the most useful and powerful support for you. In 2009, (I have posted this before, but all posts sink into oblivion on this (and other) forums), So I'll repeat: in 2009, I lost my beloved brother. I was divorced. I was forcefully retired. I had a hard time. I did my first Camino.
One morning, above Castrojeritz, on the start of the Meseta, on the
Camino Frances, I had a break. Looking up at the sky, I suddenly saw a big "X" formed by two crossing planes. I took it as a sign: Put a big "X" over your past, move forward, and be happy you are alive and can remember those dear to you, living or dead. Remember: As long as someone remembers you, you are not really dead. After that moment, I walked on happy again. Actually, my life was turned for the better at that very moment. Look for your own cross in the sky:
View attachment 23220
And yes, if you let it, the Camino will change you. in good ways. There is a saying: "The Camino will give you what you need, not neccessarily what you want." It is true.
The Camino truly changed me.
) 
