MaggieQYogini
New Member
- Time of past OR future Camino
- End of May to June, 2020
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Absolutely right! I have walked with my wife several times. We figured this one out the hard way the first time out, now its an article of faith for walking Camino with my wife.But, as above, if your walking speed is not compatible with your partner, then there will surely be a fallout unless you agree to walk at your own speed and meet up later.
LMAO... I don't want to hear that! My 18 year old daughter is coming with me this summer lolHola Maggie.
I did all my Caminos alone.
Except one that I did together with my daughter. It was Hell.
I keep trying to learn Spanish and it just doesn't stick. I mean - I can fumble around with it a little bit, but not enough for my liking. In case he doesn't learn a little Spanish - introduce him to google translate! You can even use it to take photos of menus or ingredient lists and it will translate for you (ingredient lists might be tricky though). I was also trying to converse with a lovely hostess who knew less English than I knew Spanish.... I ended up grabbing my phone and typing what I wanted to tell her. I think she appreciated the effort!(I keep trying to get him to learn some Spanish but it is an uphill battle).
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We got to the point where he can say greetings, thank you etc - but I would like him to be able to at least buy his own food. And to take responsibility for what he orders.I keep trying to learn Spanish and it just doesn't stick. I mean - I can fumble around with it a little bit, but not enough for my liking. In case he doesn't learn a little Spanish - introduce him to google translate! You can even use it to take photos of menus or ingredient lists and it will translate for you (ingredient lists might be tricky though). I was also trying to converse with a lovely hostess who knew less English than I knew Spanish.... I ended up grabbing my phone and typing what I wanted to tell her. I think she appreciated the effort!
I showed your post to my wife today. We walked a large part of the CF together not that many years ago. Her response was 'she should go for it'. I agree.I’ve been training and planning for my first Camino since 2019. Finally, it’s so close, only 70 days away. My partner just asked if he could join me. Lots happening in our lives……could you please share your highlights and challenges walking the Camino Frances as a couple??? I know it’s so close to my start, but it can be so positive for the both of us! Truly appreciate your advice!
Hi MaggieI’ve been training and planning for my first Camino since 2019. Finally, it’s so close, only 70 days away. My partner just asked if he could join me. Lots happening in our lives……could you please share your highlights and challenges walking the Camino Frances as a couple??? I know it’s so close to my start, but it can be so positive for the both of us! Truly appreciate your advice!
Ha! Wonderful question! My husband and I do a lot of hiking together and I love it. There is a huge difference, however, in both of us. I have a much higher stamina level than my husband, even when we were very young, so my endurance is greater, longer lasting. The other difference is that my husband is very gregarious. He loves to meet folks on the camino, whereas I enjoy very much walking alone and don't tend to chat much with other people, though he and I always have great conversations together on the Camino. I think it just works out. You'll love it one way or the other!I’ve been training and planning for my first Camino since 2019. Finally, it’s so close, only 70 days away. My partner just asked if he could join me. Lots happening in our lives……could you please share your highlights and challenges walking the Camino Frances as a couple??? I know it’s so close to my start, but it can be so positive for the both of us! Truly appreciate your advice!
I’ve been training and planning for my first Camino since 2019. Finally, it’s so close, only 70 days away. My partner just asked if he could join me. Lots happening in our lives……could you please share your highlights and challenges walking the Camino Frances as a couple??? I know it’s so close to my start, but it can be so positive for the both of us! Truly appreciate your advice!
I walked the Frances on 2014 with my wife (of 35 yrs at the time) and it nearly broke that marriage. The context is important though..."my" Camino was supposed to be with my son (who had to bow out basis work issues), then a group of guys from my church (who bailed 1 by 1), and then about a month prior to leaving I was left with 2 options: walk it solo or ask my wife. I did the latter, and while she reluctantly agreed, we both knew it wouldn't end well. My wife is not a hiker and really doesn't enjoy exercise of any sort. It's like taking someone who hates cold & heights on a ski trip...oil & water. Did I mention she walks super slow and needs frequent rest stops while I am mission oriented with laser focus on reaching the set destination? Yeah...you get the picture. It all came to a head on the meseta, and the remainder of the walk was painful in every way. We love each other and have since repatched our relationship, but there are scars. I would say to you that you would be wise to gauge these markers for compatibility...athletic shape, pace of walking, expectations on what you want from "your" Camino, etc. If there are easily identified flags don't ignore them. At the end of the day things happen for a reason and we both believe God put us in that situation to address issues we may have covered up or muted. A boot camp of sort where you're broken down and rebuilt...better, stronger, more in tune to each other. In retrospect am I glad she came along? Yes! Is she? Not really sure. PS - I've gone on to walk 2 more Caminos (Portuguese Coastal solo in '14; Sanabres with some buddies in '19). My bride? Never, ever, again...to each their own pilgrim.I’ve been training and planning for my first Camino since 2019. Finally, it’s so close, only 70 days away. My partner just asked if he could join me. Lots happening in our lives……could you please share your highlights and challenges walking the Camino Frances as a couple??? I know it’s so close to my start, but it can be so positive for the both of us! Truly appreciate your advice!
My situation was almost identical to yours Maggie, when I walked the beautiful Camino Frances in spring 2018.I’ve been training and planning for my first Camino since 2019. Finally, it’s so close, only 70 days away. My partner just asked if he could join me. Lots happening in our lives……could you please share your highlights and challenges walking the Camino Frances as a couple??? I know it’s so close to my start, but it can be so positive for the both of us! Truly appreciate your advice!
My Wife of 25 years walked the French Way in 2015, and both thought it was a wonderful experience, so much so, I have told my Three Children that it would be a great idea for them to walk with their Life Partners.I’ve been training and planning for my first Camino since 2019. Finally, it’s so close, only 70 days away. My partner just asked if he could join me. Lots happening in our lives……could you please share your highlights and challenges walking the Camino Frances as a couple??? I know it’s so close to my start, but it can be so positive for the both of us! Truly appreciate your advice!
Hola Maggie,I’ve been training and planning for my first Camino since 2019. Finally, it’s so close, only 70 days away. My partner just asked if he could join me. Lots happening in our lives……could you please share your highlights and challenges walking the Camino Frances as a couple??? I know it’s so close to my start, but it can be so positive for the both of us! Truly appreciate your advice!
Do it together! I had the desire to do the Camino since middle school 50 years ago. My wife was not so keen on the idea, but we started walking long distances together and she soon developed almost more of a love for walking than me. We are 8 inches different by height, but she has quite a long stride and we more or less march at the same speed. That made staying together easy. Our comfort zone for the amount of kilometers to cover in a day was also very close. That made choosing stops easy. So my best suggestion for you folks is to train together and see how walking together works over some long days. We met up with a number of couples who had very different views of speed and distance and they were all suffering relationship strain trying to walk together when their bodies were on very different plans.I’ve been training and planning for my first Camino since 2019. Finally, it’s so close, only 70 days away. My partner just asked if he could join me. Lots happening in our lives……could you please share your highlights and challenges walking the Camino Frances as a couple??? I know it’s so close to my start, but it can be so positive for the both of us! Truly appreciate your advice!
I know it’s so close to my start, but it can be so positive for the both of us!
What an inspiring replyHi @MaggieQYogini
I have been holding back from posting a reply to your question. Lots of valuable contributions already – from various perspectives - so maybe you don't need another. No one can answer your question for you – but you already know this. It depends on you, your partner and the type of relationship you have and want. And, sorry in advance for the long post.
I’ve walked Caminos solo (twice), with a dear friend (twice) and with my husband many times. And both my dear friend and my husband have also walked Caminos solo. I’ve loved all of these experiences – different each time, and all wonderful.
I think @vacajoe’s list of considerations at post # 6 is very good, and others have echoed some of these suggestions and added more. The logistics of walking pace, when and where you’ll stop, what happens if someone is injured, tired etc, can all be worked out. Maybe you can show your partner this thread, or at least share with him some of the suggestions from others on what matters would be good to consider beforehand.
The two things I would offer a comment on – 1) your ability for you to have your own Camino journey even though you are walking with your partner and 2) your ‘availability’ and openness to others when you are walking as a couple. These are valid concerns. But, in my experience, both can be overcome with awareness and intention.
So, sure, there are potential negatives to consider. On the plus side … Taking a long walk with a friend or loved one can be a wonderful and precious experience. It won’t be all smooth sailing, that’s for sure. There will be rocky days, of course, but what an opportunity to give and receive kindness, understanding, tolerance and forgiveness. And to share a great adventure, laughter and joy. You may even look back on the toughest days as some of the most important and rewarding for yourselves individually and even for your relationship.
- When I’ve walked with my dear friend and with my dear husband, we have each been able to be ‘alone’ physically and in our thoughts. We don’t walk joined at the hip. Often we are apart, alone or with others for many hours. We have agreed to ‘split up’ at any time – and for any length of time – if either feels the need. Though that has not happened to date.
- When walking solo, I have befriended and been befriended by solo walkers as well as those walking as friends or as a couple. When I’ve walked with my friend or my husband, we have befriended solo walkers, as well as other friends and couples walking together. If that is your wish and intention, you can make that happen - just be aware of the tendency to be less available to others when walking together and you will be able to overcome it if you want to. One example, is that when we’ve been eating dinner together and see a solo pilgrim dining alone one of us will say ‘You’re probably enjoying your alone time after a long day, but if you’d like to join us for lunch / dinner, you’re very welcome’. Nine times out of 10, the solo pilgrim will say yes, I’d like that.
If, after reading all these posts, and discussing with your partner you still feel this in your heart:
then, I’d say go with it. You have the opportunity now and, as the past two years have shown us, you never know what lies ahead.
Whatever you decide. All the best.
Walked CF 2017 and CP 2019 with my wife, and I can say with complete honesty that I didn't even see any substantive issues arising before we left and with one exception. not during the camino or on the return home - but then we had been married for 25 years, so I guess a lot of the rough edges had been worn off.I’ve been training and planning for my first Camino since 2019.
4 caminos and all with my husband; not an issueI’ve been training and planning for my first Camino since 2019. Finally, it’s so close, only 70 days away. My partner just asked if he could join me. Lots happening in our lives……could you please share your highlights and challenges walking the Camino Frances as a couple??? I know it’s so close to my start, but it can be so positive for the both of us! Truly appreciate your advice!
Thank you for the beautiful posting.There will be rocky days, of course, but what an opportunity to give and receive kindness, understanding, tolerance and forgiveness. And to share a great adventure, laughter and joy. You may even look back on the toughest days as some of the most important and rewarding for yourselves individually and even for your relationship.
Your words of encouragement are so very appreciated!!Thank you for the beautiful posting.
Not a single soul on this forum can tell you if it is a good idea or not.As of today, we are aiming to walk the entire Camino Frances together, using all the advice received.
You make a good point there.You thought you knew him? He thought he knew you? You are both about to find out, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
It won’t be “your” camino anymore, as you will always be thinking about his needs.
My wife and I did Camino Frances and enjoyed a delightful two months of seeing France and Spain. Then two years later we did Portuguese Camino from Lisbon and the coastal route from Porto. It is a remarkable time to share lots of things and learn more about the world and each other.I’ve been training and planning for my first Camino since 2019. Finally, it’s so close, only 70 days away. My partner just asked if he could join me. Lots happening in our lives……could you please share your highlights and challenges walking the Camino Frances as a couple??? I know it’s so close to my start, but it can be so positive for the both of us! Truly appreciate your advice!
Sharing the wonderful experience the good and the not so good with someoneI’ve been training and planning for my first Camino since 2019. Finally, it’s so close, only 70 days away. My partner just asked if he could join me. Lots happening in our lives……could you please share your highlights and challenges walking the Camino Frances as a couple??? I know it’s so close to my start, but it can be so positive for the both of us! Truly appreciate your advice!
In 2017 my husband and I walked the Camino Frances. Like you I was worried about how it would go for us but it ended up being a wonderful experience, a highlight of our lives! I would do it again in a heartbeat.I’ve been training and planning for my first Camino since 2019. Finally, it’s so close, only 70 days away. My partner just asked if he could join me. Lots happening in our lives……could you please share your highlights and challenges walking the Camino Frances as a couple??? I know it’s so close to my start, but it can be so positive for the both of us! Truly appreciate your advice!
I'm from British Columbia originally and it's famous for our West Coast Trail. There's a wee joke that says if you're thinking of spending the rest of your life with someone, hike the West Coast Trail with them. If you get through that successfully, you can get through anything. I say GO GO GO! My wife and I walked El Camino in 2017 and as long as you're both flexible and respectful of each other's limits, you're all good. You can also make an agreement before you commit to say you'll walk a week together and then a week apart and just meet up and continue. Buen Camino!I’ve been training and planning for my first Camino since 2019. Finally, it’s so close, only 70 days away. My partner just asked if he could join me. Lots happening in our lives……could you please share your highlights and challenges walking the Camino Frances as a couple??? I know it’s so close to my start, but it can be so positive for the both of us! Truly appreciate your advice!
I was amused by the sandwiches on a menu in Los Arcos. Each had a name which I've forgotten, but the first was ham & egg. Next added bacon, Next added cheese. Finally, I do remember the name of the last one: to the ham, turkey, bacon, and cheeses, they added lettuce and called it "vegetarian."I learnt Spanish as a child, and although I spoke none for 45 years, some of it stuck. But when it comes to menus, I'm hopeless. There seem to be multiple ways of describing food, and even a translation app doesn't always help.
I’ve been training and planning for my first Camino since 2019. Finally, it’s so close, only 70 days away. My partner just asked if he could join me. Lots happening in our lives……could you please share your highlights and challenges walking the Camino Frances as a couple??? I know it’s so close to my start, but it can be so positive for the both of us! Truly appreciate your advice!
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