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Can you please elaborate on this? What didn't work for you two? Did you gradually realize there were problems? When you say "we walked separately" do you mean just for the day but you saw each other each evening or you did the rest of the Camino on your own?When I walked with a friend, even though we had done a lot of walking together before departing for Spain, we really didn't walk well together. After Burgos, we walked separately. We remain friends, but I would never contemplate walking the camino with him again.
Buen camino to you bothIt is a good idea to discuss in advance how to approach the inevitable annoyances and differences of opinion.
Excellent. Thank you!As you suggested, your question will make an interesting new thread, taking on a slightly different topic than the original thread where you posted. So, I have moved it, along with the quote that you referenced, to this new thread.
My response is that we can have very good friends, but to live with them day and night for 6 weeks can be a real challenge, especially when we are experiencing a new country, new activity, new friends and physical demands! It is a good idea to discuss in advance how to approach the inevitable annoyances and differences of opinion.
We could be very good friend's with someone to the point we could trust them with our lives this is what I would call a genuine friend .. yet to plan something like the CF or even the Norte exciting it may seem , we forget about how daunting it can be , being in eachothers pockets for the next 5 weeks or so , especially if one suggests you share a hotel room for the odd night ..unless you are really very close I can imagine how hard it may be .. then again although I have done two caminos and planning my third from Lisbon I never travelled with anyone as those whom I know are not keen on walking but there were always someone who asked if they could walk with me on different days ..Can you please elaborate on this? What didn't work for you two? Did you gradually realize there were problems? When you say "we walked separately" do you mean just for the day but you saw each other each evening or you did the rest of the Camino on your own?
(this could probably be it's own interesting thread but I really want to hear, as I am going with my good friend)
Hi @K_Lynn - something that might help your sister on the Inglés is that Correos will be providing their pack transfer service from Easter 2023 on this route. This could be a good alternative to mailing items ahead to Santiago. Probably a ‘wardrobe edit’ will still be needed but she might still be able to have that extra favourite item or two whilst on the Inglés.I selfishly wanted to walk my Camino alone. Not alone alone, but without anyone I knew. I felt that my first Camino needed to be experienced without any social safety nets, and as I have said before, I did not want to be responsible for anyone else's Camino Experience. I've travelled with groups of friends before and it is not always pleasant.
I think I have convinced my sister to join me for a short Camino Ingles next year after I have finished Camino Portugues and there will be many adjustments I will have to make for that to work. We have already started conversations about walking separately for periods during the day and as she is older, less fit and diabetic, I've insisted she speak with her physician and warned her that she will have to carry some food with her. She's a notorious overpacker, so I will have to go through her pack prior to my flying out to weed out some of the junk she will insist on bringing with her. I have mentally prepared myself to have to mail some things of hers to Santiago to pick up when we're done. lol As siblings there are a lot of things for us to argue about lol. She joined me last year for touristing after my Camino and we holidayed this year together so we both have a pretty good idea of how we travel together. I'm bossy, she's stubborn
As others have mentioned have conversations NOW with your travel companions. What do you each want out of Camino? Are you willing to acknowledge and grant each other's needs or desires for alone time? What is the plan if one of you decides 3 days in that this isn't as fun as they thought and wants to stop walking? (My personal opinion on this is the person who does not want to walk can bus to the next town and everyone meets up there for lunch/drinks/etc or...they can go home). There is also the issue of Covid and some sort of plan should be in place if that happens (hunker down for a few days, bus a few town ahead if schedules are tight, go home if it took a hole punch to your lungs etc) How are shared expenses (eg hotel/pensiones/posadas vs albergues) to be divvied up - and on that issue, if they decide to bail all expenses will fall upon those remaining, so be prepared to pay for your entire Camino. We all have our own preferred walking speed and slowing down to meet that preference is easier than trying to keep up, if the goal is to all walk together all the time than the slowest person dictates the pace.
There are millions of parameters and options for planning to walk Camino, with or without companions, and everything will get thrown out the window when you get there and new options and issues will arise then.But, having some sort of plan can help keep things as pleasant as possible.
Buen Camino!
lol No! She has to carry her pack and she has to leave her 12 books at home. I'm giving her a copy of Brierley's Camino Ingles as the only book she is allowed to carry, unless it's downloaded on her phone.Hi @K_Lynn - something that might help your sister on the Inglés is that Correos will be providing their pack transfer service from Easter 2023 on this route. This could be a good alternative to mailing items ahead to Santiago. Probably a ‘wardrobe edit’ will still be needed but she might still be able to have that extra favourite item or two whilst on the Inglés.
Here’s a screenshot which shows the Camino routes for which Correos provides the pack transfers -
View attachment 137265
Best wishes from Oz -
Jenny
Yikes! I think your sister might need a visit from Marie Kondo! Just as well that Brierley’s Ingles guidebook is a slim volume!lol No! She has to carry her pack and she has to leave her 12 books at home. I'm giving her a copy of Brierley's Camino Ingles as the only book she is allowed to carry, unless it's downloaded on her phone.
If anything needs to be mailed it will likely be post-Camino clothes. I do appreciate the link though as I may need to send my pack as I will be slightly broken from finishing Portugues a few days prior.
Yes she does!Yikes! I think your sister might need a visit from Marie Kondo! Just as well that Brierley’s Ingles guidebook is a slim volume!
This simple wisdom made my day.There is one sovereign remedy for an overloaded pack: an overloaded pack.
Togetherness on the Camino is no different than at home. My wife is so happy when I leave for a few hour to do my community outreach. She becomes down right disappointed if one of my activities gets canceled and she doesn't get her alone time.Can you please elaborate on this? What didn't work for you two? Did you gradually realize there were problems? When you say "we walked separately" do you mean just for the day but you saw each other each evening or you did the rest of the Camino on your own?
(this could probably be it's own interesting thread but I really want to hear, as I am going with my good friend)
Thank you @simply B - when @TerryB started the Walking with a Companion thread (back in 2011) it was in response to issues we had seen and we had just returned from his second and my first Camino. I hesitated to raise it again here as it was initially for those who walked with spouse or family members. However highly relevant still for them and for friends.Relevant to the topic from the "wayback machine" that lives in my head:
This was a post that I consulted carefully when a friend of decades really wanted to walk the Camino but was definitely in the early stages of fronto-temporal dementia. (There was no way I could not step up to aid him in this quest.)
My simple rules as elaborated in that thread were:
"- we would be companionable but allow each other most of the day to be alone or sociable as needs be.
- we would look out for each other at every stop re-establish connection.
- any decision regarding albergue would have to be mutually agreeable... if one of us had intuition against a stay then we would move on.
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