i will be starting my camino from sjpdp on sept 3rd, alone. this hadn't been a concern at all, as i do lots of things by myself and have for a long time. but yesterday i separated from my husband, and out of the blue, the thought of not having him home to talk to while on the way made me feel afraid to go. no safety net, i guess...
i could use a good word or two.
Before your post, I just wish I had your strength to put it out there for all and sundry to see. At present I only have 3 reasons to live, my daughter, my mother (84) and my sister. My wedding anniversary present was to be told to leave the house, I have never questioned my wife's judgement, as I only had to see who she married, so that was that after 20 years.
Friends, I don't have. Friends are people who like you in spite of yourself. Acquaintances, I have many. None of which offer any support what so ever even to ask RUOK? They, quite understandably, have their own trials and tribulations to deal with, excess baggage is not required.
There is no extended family to call on for support. We migrated from England to Australia in 1957, so I have grown up relatively alone. (pun intended). I have been unemployed since February 2013 with a detached biceps tendon. Unable to do the work I had been doing and at almost 60 with no formal education qualifications, alternative employment is difficult to source. Age discrimination doesn't exist, apparently it's all in my head! Now my car valued at $3000 required maintenance to cost in excess of $5000.
On top of all this I have been diagnosed with severe clinical depression, and have been hospitalised 3 times in 6 months. BUT, I can still see the beauty of sun rise and set, appreciate the magnificence of a 20 mile surf beach with no buildings, the antiquity of old rainforest, the odours and textures of all that I have just mentioned.
Walking has always been a source of solace for me. So on my way home from hospital one morning I stopped at a travel agent to see about a walking holiday, 2 glossy brochures were obtained. The prices to me were exorbitant, but the Camino was mentioned. On television that night was a show "Bare Faced Cheek", the Camino was mentioned. The next night, without any mention of Camino to my landlady, she came home with 3 videos, "The Way" was one of them.
Ever since, other "signs" kept showing. Whilst out walking on the local hills one Saturday I bumped into an informal group of people. Not a club, so no money changes hands. They walk every Saturday, to keep fit and train for national & international events. Lo and behold, 3 of them have done different sections of the Camino.
Now not being religious, I began to reflect on the subtle as a sledgehammer signs that were bombarding me, who or what was / is behind all of this? So, I have booked tickets, renewed passports, bought a truckload of gear (which at least half will be left at home), also sold anything of value to fund my walk.
I leave in 14 days for Le Puy en Velay and have given myself 90 days to get to SdC via Finnestaire and Muxia. So, here I go, a weak arm, dodgy knees and hips, no French or Spanish skills, just a 1974 Berlitz European phrase book and a very limited budget.
I am (in the words of the old song) leaving my happy (?) home to go on the road to find out. The future can take care of its self, as it has done since time began.
So, Laelia2, you go girl, go and do it, enjoy it, no one else can do it for you. At the end of the day, we are all only here for a short time, so, it may as well be a good time. Buen Camino, Richard