I made the mistake of...

[trecile]

...telling a friend my plan to walk the Camino. Now she wants to go with me! This is definitely something I want to do alone. I want to walk where I want, when I want. I'm happy to make friends along the way, but I don't want to have to walk/be with someone else. I did make it clear to her that this was a solo journey, so I hope that she doesn't persist in asking if she can go with me, though I think that I am pretty safe in that regard, as I don't think that she can be away from home that long.

 

[norelle]

Trecile

It's not a mistake to tell your friend about your plans - and you did make it clear that you were doing it on your own.

I also had someone say they'd like to come with me on my first camino and I was firm and clear from the first time she mentioned it. She never brought it up again (and has not gone on a camino in the 5 years since).

Continue being strong!

buen camino

 

[purplesage]

...telling a friend my plan to walk the Camino. Now she wants to go with me! This is definitely something I want to do alone. I want to walk where I want, when I want. I'm happy to make friends along the way, but I don't want to have to walk/be with someone else. I did make it clear to her that this was a solo journey, so I hope that she doesn't persist in asking if she can go with me, though I think that I am pretty safe in that regard, as I don't think that she can be away from home that long.

trecile, its NOT a mistake. YOU showed her something beautiful in this life. You can ALWAYS take time to be on your own. We all do. Have a great time on The Way. Your friend will find her own Camino. Buen Camino , Caesar

 

[Bradypus]

I have a very good friend who is also a keen walker and we walk together for a few days most years. Our approach and outlook are very compatible. Otherwise I prefer to walk alone. My wife will begin walking the Camino Ingles in a few days time. She will be walking alone. We do not walk together because we both know that we would very quickly become frustrated and irritable at our very different walking styles. We have many other ways of sharing time together. Some solo time for solitude and reflection is a precious gift which we give each other.

 

[Aidan21]

Trecile,
If she is your friend, then you had to tell her why you are disappearing for over a month. I mean if you disappear from her life for a long period of time but said nothing beforehand then to be honest she is not your friend. So you had to say something? Right? And since she is your friend and the walk of the Camino does have an allure all of its own, then her reaction is very understandable. But as you have made it clear to your friend, this is something for you (at least the first time), this is much needed 'me' time. And if I may emphasise guilt free 'me' time. So your friend, if she is a friend will figure this out and wish you buen Camino. Perhaps next time you can go together, even for a week or 10 days. But you have made NO mistake. I sure hope your friend quickly reads between the lines and makes no mistake either.
Aidan

 

[Deleted member 3000]

As a compromise, the two of you could go at the same time! My brother and I have walked together several times, but "together" means within three to four days of each other...

You would have some great stories to share when you get home; the common experience really is a great feeling.

 

[Kanga]

I've walked with friends and I've walked alone. Both good. But I think a first camino is better done alone, at least for a large part.

 

[Manu]

...telling a friend my plan to walk the Camino. Now she wants to go with me! This is definitely something I want to do alone. I want to walk where I want, when I want. I'm happy to make friends along the way, but I don't want to have to walk/be with someone else. I did make it clear to her that this was a solo journey, so I hope that she doesn't persist in asking if she can go with me, though I think that I am pretty safe in that regard, as I don't think that she can be away from home that long.

Agree with your decision to walk alone. You'll get the full experience of meeting new friends and enjoying the good vibes of practially all peregrinos you´ll meet. Buen Camino!

 

[GreatDane]

We do not walk together because we both know that we would very quickly become frustrated and irritable at our very different walking styles.

Exactly why my Husband and I take separate trips. Though we are planning to maybe next year meet in Lavacolla to walk the last KMs into SdC together.

 

[mspath]

"Above all, as I have implied, the man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready, and it may be a long time before they get off."

Henry David Thoreau, Walden, 1854

 

[MeanPhilippine]

I hope you guys remain friends after leaving her behind & if she is a friend she'll understand. If she stop being your friend, you'll have plenty to choose from along the Camino.

Joel

 

[CanPete]

That is a tricky situation, one I encountered also. It will be felt to be harsh if you say you desire to do it by yourself as it will be interpreted as 'you don't like me enough to walk with me'. Conclusions quickly become self centered . . . I have found that the few that expressed interest did not follow through with their voiced intention; two options : 1. if it's no longer talked about, it'll be forgotten, 2. the interested party does some preliminary investigation and discovers ow long it takes to walk and how much organization goes into planning a trip like walking the Camino, and relents . . .

I very much liked my 'solo' days on theCamino (Del Norte/Primitivo). I also enjoyed the option of meeting up with people on the way; if it 'clicks' you can, without actually agreeing on it, hang out/walk together for whatever amount of time you'd like . .

Buen Camino !!

 

[Mark Lee]

There are no rules and regulations requiring your friend to walk the same exact Camino you do. You could walk two completely Caminos at the same time and still fly home together, or she could peel away and fly home alone if she needs to before you reach Santiago.

 

[trecile]

I don't think that there is any real danger that she could get her act together and actually go, which is why I told her about it.
This isn't a friend that I see on a regular basis, as we don't live close by. I actually reconnected with her a couple of years ago after an being out of touch for over a decade. I was a bit surprised at her enthusiasm for the idea, since I didn't think that it would be something that would interest her.

 

[domigee]

Just be straight and say this is something you really want/NEED to do on your own...
Buen camino.

 

[rometimed]

I don't think that there is any real danger that she could get her act together and actually go, which is why I told her about it.
This isn't a friend that I see on a regular basis, as we don't live close by. I actually reconnected with her a couple of years ago after an being out of touch for over a decade. I was a bit surprised at her enthusiasm for the idea, since I didn't think that it would be something that would interest her.

Hehe I have many many friends like that. My father is actually the most like that. He threatened to come on almost every one of the walks I did last year but ended up not coming on any.

 

[EL Guapo]

Big mistake IMHO. I agreed to have a friend go with me and another seasoned traveler to India last year on a 4 week trek through southern country. He was your typical ugly American. Constant complainer,rude,extremely cheap,where's the McDonald type. A total dependent for everything. He tried to turn our adventure into his holiday. He wanted a fun filled vacation with every one else doing all of the planing and prep work. It ruined the whole trip for everyone. Some people want the adventure but are too timid to do it on their own. You never know what someone is really like until you get them away from their comfortable life style. He was on a budget, and at one point removed the tip from the table after a meal Fortunately I gave the owner more rupees than the cost of the meal and no riot occurred. Never,never again. I always travel solo.my fault for agreeing to have him come along.
Just my opinion, take it for what it's worth.

 

[alexwalker]

Walking alone = You are free.

It is your time. Your reflections. Your peace. Your silence. New friends. New perspectives. No history. Go alone.

 

[trecile]

Walking alone = You are free.

It is your time. Your reflections. Your peace. Your silence. New friends. New perspectives. No history. Go alone.

Well said!
And don't worry. I AM going alone!

 

[marbuck]

I am about to do my third Camino with my wife. We make a good team. I like to have her with me so we can share the adventure, point things out to each other and share a private room so I don't have to stay in a dorm.

 

[MayorTed]

...telling a friend my plan to walk the Camino. Now she wants to go with me! This is definitely something I want to do alone. I want to walk where I want, when I want. I'm happy to make friends along the way, but I don't want to have to walk/be with someone else. I did make it clear to her that this was a solo journey, so I hope that she doesn't persist in asking if she can go with me, though I think that I am pretty safe in that regard, as I don't think that she can be away from home that long.

Ha ha...I hear you Trecile. I am doing the Camino alone for a number of reasons. To each their own. But I decided that if I was going to walk 800kms, I didn't want to have to start every day with a discussion about how far we would walk that day, or where to stop to eat or sleep etc etc. From all that I have read I think the majority do the Camino for their own deeply personal experience, and I think it might be harder to have that experience travelling with someone else. But like I say...to each their own. Have a wonderful Camino

 

[Saint Mike II]

I am about to do my third Camino with my wife. We make a good team. I like to have her with me so we can share the adventure, point things out to each other and share a private room so I don't have to stay in a dorm.

IMHO, whilst a married couple may be each other's "best friends" I think the situation with Trecile and her "friend" is very different. From the picture I will assume that they are youngish women who have many years ahead of them. So I would agree with those who recommend our OP walks this camino on her own. Buen Camino to you (marbuck) and to Trecile - joy in every step!!

 

[DebR]

This is hard. A similar thing happened to me, with an old friend inviting herself along on my second Camino (I'd been physically unprepared for my first but poured all I had and more into the prep for #2).
The consequences were disastrous: she did no prep or planning (she had her "own Camino guru", aka me) and ended up with tendinitis, not helped by a weighty pack and a disinclination to use her pole correctly (or at all). I turned myself inside out to try to help her after she joined me in Leon, but it was never enough.
Upshot: she "walked the Camino"and got her Compostela but I missed out on my dream of making it to Finisterre and in the process somehow ruined her "holiday". In the 18 months since we left Madrid, she's not spoken to me once.
I knew from the outset it was a bad idea that she come too, but I stayed silent to preserve the friendship.
Didn't work.

 

[marbuck]

"You can do the Camino all alone, but it's just not the same. Happiness is meant to be shared." {The Camino Documentary}

But I do admit I have seen many a friendship ruined on the Camino.

 

[Saint Mike II]

This is hard. In the 18 months since we left Madrid, she's not spoken to me once.
I knew from the outset it was a bad idea that she come too, but I stayed silent to preserve the friendship.
Didn't work.

Maybe you have been lucky??

 

[trecile]

"You can do the Camino all alone, but it's just not the same. Happiness is meant to be shared." {The Camino Documentary}

What a bunch of hooey.
And you can share the experience with people you meet along the way, or by sharing through pictures, a blog, etc. There us no one right way to do the Camino. Shame on them for trying to guilt people into doing it their way.

 

[Urban Trekker]

I like company when I walk the camino and have been fortunate that a very old very good friend who is understands me goes with me. That being said, tell your friend you need to walk it alone. If they are a good friend, they will understand. Buen Camino