Warning Women Pilgrims Melide

[Juliec55]

Not sure if it is appropriate to post this, but I would like to warn all the women pilgrims who are on or intending to walk the Camino. We were walking it last month and whilst in the town of Melide were approached by a tall, older white haired man who spoke English very well. He just started chatting friendly to the four of us middle aged ladies. ( seems innocent doesn't it?) In the conversation he asked us if we were married. We were all sitting on a wall in the square. One of us is not married and he immediately sat next to her ( she was at the end of our little group) proceeded to chat to her. We three were not paying attention at first but before we knew it, he had his arm around our friend, still chatting friendly and before we knew it he had pulled her down to the ground. It was if he thought he were seducing her. She was taken aback, we saw her distress, jumped up and said " We have to go now" and walked out of there as fast as we could. He told our friend he had lived in London and also a few other intimate details I don't want to post. It was very disconcerting. The next day we walked to Boente, stopped in the lovely little cafe/alburgue there for a cafe con leche. Chatting to the fellow from the UK who now lives in Spain and was helping out. Our friend wanted to walk ahead and stepped outside and the same older white haired man was sitting on the bench outside across the street. She came in with a look of horror on her face saying " I can't go out there, he is outside again". The English man seeing our distress asked us what was going on. We told him. Apparently this older man is known for " molesting women ". He isn't thought of highly for obvious reasons. He used to do it in Boente as he lives there, but now goes to Melide which is a bigger town. His wife still lives in London, wanting nothing to do with him. The English man offered to call the Police but quite frankly he hadn't really broken the law and this is what the English man also said. He doesn't really cross the line in that regard but I just want to warn any women pilgrims out there who are walking through the square in Melide if he approaches you run the other way. I don't know what would have happened if our friend had been alone.

 

[Sojourner47]

The English man offered to call the Police but quite frankly he hadn't really broken the law and this is what the English man also said. He doesn't really cross the line in that regard .

I don't know Spanish law, but in England this behaviour would definitely constitute the crime of common assault, if not indecent assault. The police should have been called.

 

[Juliec55]

I think if in Spain it were a crime, he would have been charged a long time ago as his behavior is well known to the people of the village and surrounding area. The English man seemed to know a lot about it. Regardless, it is in the past now, just be aware of him.

 

[anniethenurse]

One can meet guys like him everywhere - not only in Melide.

Carry a ring and tell you are married even if you aren´t.
Be streetwise.

Spain and the camino is still one of the safest places for women - even for women on their own.
buen camino

 

[vagabondette]

Yes, the police should have been called if for no other reason than to put them on alert and let this man know that he's being watched and his behavior won't be tolerated. Had it been me, I'd have sat on his old ass and screamed bloody murder until the cops came running then he'd have been in for the public shaming of his life.

Re him being charged a long time ago, my guess is that most people don't report it to the police, they only talk about it to others so while people may know about it, they can't do anything about it without a complaint being filed, particularly if he's targeting pilgrims who move on that day or the next day. ALWAYS report crimes. Doing so may help protect the ones who come behind you.

And yes, always wear a fake gold band and don't tell random people your personal info when you first meet them. I had a friend who used to wear a flashy CZ engagement ring but IMO that's just asking to be mugged.

 

[Sojourner47]

I think if in Spain it were a crime, he would have been charged a long time ago as his behavior is well known to the people of the village and surrounding area. The English man seemed to know a lot about it. Regardless, it is in the past now, just be aware of him.

Sorry, I can't accept that.
It's the same story everywhere - no-one complains, and so the actions continue.
I would be very surprised if it was not a crime in Spain......
The Englishman obviously doesn't know much about criminal law.
I'm sure many would regard this as trivial (perhaps the "people of the village and surrounding area" do, especially as maybe the objects of his intentions are foreign pilgrims.
However, it remains that any unwanted touching/pushing etc, even if no physical injury results, is decidedly a crime, and should be treated as such.

 

[SabsP]

I think if in Spain it were a crime, he would have been charged a long time ago as his behavior is well known to the people of the village and surrounding area. The English man seemed to know a lot about it. Regardless, it is in the past now, just be aware of him.

Sorry, I can't accept that.
It's the same story everywhere - no-one complains, and so the actions continue.
I would be very surprised if it was not a crime in Spain......
The Englishman obviously doesn't know much about criminal law.
I'm sure many would regard this as trivial (perhaps the "people of the village and surrounding area" do, especially as maybe the objects of his intentions are foreign pilgrims.
However, it remains that any unwanted touching/pushing etc, even if no physical injury results, is decidedly a crime, and should be treated as such.

Exactly. Couldn't agree more Sojourner.
Every ( even so called minor ) sexual offense should be rapported. I think thorughout the years we women don't want to be regarded as coservative and humourless so we take for granted some of the so called " minor " insulting jokes and gestures. In this regard we undermine our own position. Hmm hope I made myself clear.
Sorry to be so vehement but in my line of work I come into contact with sex offenders. They also started with something " minor "...and " progressed " from there...

 

[Juliec55]

Yes, the police should have been called if for no other reason than to put them on alert and let this man know that he's being watched and his behavior won't be tolerated. Had it been me, I'd have sat on his old ass and screamed bloody murder until the cops came running then he'd have been in for the public shaming of his life.

My friend is 67, not sure she would have been up to it. As I said it is in the past we are home now and maybe in hindsight it would have been a good idea to call the police,the fact is we didn't. So as a result can only move forward and warn others. I don't find it helpful when people say should have, would have. The fact is we didn't. Everyone reacts to things differently in different situations. This is why predators get away with some of the things they do. I can tell you that while it was happening, we actually couldn't believe it and it was almost as if we were in a trance and we just wanted to get away from there as fast as possible. My posting the warning wasn't meant to be an open forum for blaming my friend for not calling the police,she was a victim who was quite shook up by it. It was to warn others that it is a common behavior with this man and to watch out. There are some ladies out there who are maybe tougher and would react differently. I agree the Camino is generally a safe place and the people you meet along the way wonderful. I had a great experience, probably one of the most memorable and wonderful experiences of my life. One I will never forget.

 

[grayland]

Julie...I don't think that posters are blaming you and your friends for your decision not to report this to the police. It is not meant as a personal rebuke...

I think they are trying to make the point that these type of incidents should be reported as a rule so that the local authorities can be aware of a potential serious situation by one of these perverts.

 

[Sojourner47]

I don't think anyone on here is blaming you, and certainly not your friend, for failing to call the police. If anyone, I would blame the "Englishman" who told you to more or less let it go.
And you are to be thanked for raising this, as others will perhaps be more alert to possible occurrences in the future.
It is in the past for you, but quite possibly in someone else's future, if nothing is done/said.

"It is necessary only for the good man to nothing for evil to triumph"

 

[vagabondette]

Julie...I don't think that posters are blaming you and your friends for your decision not to report this to the police. It is not meant as a personal rebuke...

I think they are trying to make the point that these type of incidents should be reported as a rule so that the local authorities can be aware of a potential serious situation by one of these perverts.

^^ This.

I would never blame the victim and, of course, everyone reacts differently. It was more of a reminder to others that when bad things happen (ANY bad things) the only way we can stop them from happening again is by reporting them to the authorities. Women have a very strong tendency to not report these things out of embarrassment, confusion, fear, etc. While it's understandable, we as a gender need to be strong and your story serves as a reminder of that.

I apologize if you took my comments to mean that I think you or your friends did anything wrong, that is not my opinion and was not my intention.

 

[JohnnieWalker]

Hola

Greetings from the Pilgrims' Office in Santiago. We have just been discussing this post. Very infrequently female pilgrims mention such incidents on their arrival in Santiago. Our response is always the same and it is advice to all pilgrims: please do not hesitate to call the police if you have any concerns about your safety or that of others.

However we want to stress that we believe these incidents, though upsetting for those involved, are few and far between.

Best wishes

John

 

[Sojourner47]

And, as a footnote to Johnnie's post I must say that all my contacts with the local police in Spain (mostly asking for directions in my bad Spanish) have been very positive, and they have often gone out of their way to help me.

 

[Juliec55]

Your explanations are much appreciated. I too want to tell other ladies who are thinking of walking the Camino, this was the only incident. At no other time did I feel unsafe on the Camino. What I did notice is that nearly everyone in the North of Spain involved with the Camino really want it to work. Besides the history behind the Camino, it really does bring revenue to the villages and towns along the way. There seems to be a little network, where the people that work along the route are all working together in a very positive way. My only problem since I have returned is.... I can't stop talking about my wonderful experience!!!! Help!

 

[richeyboy]

I was walking with a Spanish peregrina last October near Astorga and at a cafe we came across two female pilgrims who had been 'flashed' just before the village we were then in. Although upset they did not want to cause a fuss but luckily the woman I was with insisted on calling the Guardia Civil who showed up very quickly. They were onto the case and were hoping to ambush the man shortly. They were pleased that they had received the report as without this sort of information they can do nothing and as they said the last thing the camino needs at this time is a reputation that it is unsafe for females.
So there you have it, girls, and please always, always call the Guardia Civil and there is a translation service I believe on the telehone, as apart from anything else it helps to keep the camino safe for all women. And by the way it really does seem that the guy in Melide was way out of order in even touching the woman around the shoulder as was the Englishman in saying to do nothing - (maybe he was not used to the idea that there are some good police forces around like the Guardia Civil.)

 

[oursonpolaire]

I would underscore what Richeyboy has said. I have twice spoken about incidents toward women with the Guardia Civil (once in Navarre, and the other in the Basque lands, as my contacts spoke no Spanish but, in these regions, the guards spoke French) and they emphasized that they were very anxious to have reports made to them. They seemed to be quite serious in their desire to keep the Camino safe. While I know that the Guardia Civil does not have the best historical reputation, I have always found them to be friendly and helpful (on one occasion, they were able to find me accommodation in a Catalan village en fiesta, when there was nowhere to stay)

 

[SeaHorse]

Hola

Greetings from the Pilgrims' Office in Santiago. We have just been discussing this post. Very infrequently female pilgrims mention such incidents on their arrival in Santiago. Our response is always the same and it is advice to all pilgrims: please do not hesitate to call the police if you have any concerns about your safety or that of others.

However we want to stress that we believe these incidents, though upsetting for those involved, are few and far between.

Best wishes

John

My walking buddy and I had 2 incidents. One "flasher" (not sure any more where exactly), and one beggar masked as pilgrim followed us (before Triacastela, then 4 ladies walking together) and showed clear interest in our luggage, not ourselves. For that even being "old, fat and ugly" as someone here on the Forum described herself, wouldn't help.
Never imagined to mention them in pilgrims office in Santiago, because 1) thats not police, 2) they were so busy with the big crowd outside that there was no time for chat, only "hola"-"please"-"thank you"-"cao", 3) one incident happened days and other even about a month before Santiago. Yes, we walked 45 days in total.

But what we did - we called 112 immediately. The emergency number of European Union, not just Spain and Portugal. Free of charge to call and accessible even if your phone doesn't connect to any particular network. My sim card from another EU country was sufficient. I do speak Spanish, but for complicated and important matters I feel more confident in English, so the operator made a conference call with an interpreter. My friends and I had prepared beforehand the description as best as we could. Wrote it on a napkin. They took all the description of the problem, the man, location, my phone number and told they will pass this to Guardia Civil. Which I believe they did, they wouldn't have taken so much time and effort just to sweep it under the carpet later.

Edited by Moderator.

 

[Albertagirl]

I am a single woman who travels alone and I am about to walk the Camino Frances in the fall without a cell phone. I do not own and cannot afford a cell phone nor do I want one. While I would certainly not advise other pilgrims as to how they should keep themselves safe on the camino. By the way, I do carry a SPOT emergency beacon and will use it if necessary for the safety of myself or any other pilgrim. I find it reassuring that it is monitored by satellite when a cell phone might be out of range of a tower. I trust all pilgrims to make their own choices as to how to protect themselves. P.S.: I also carry a whistle.

Edited by Moderator.

 

[JohnMcM]

Referring to the OP........

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

If you wanna upset me tell me about idiots like him

 

[dougfitz]

Referring to the OP........

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

If you wanna upset me tell me about idiots like him

I didn't think the OP was at all offensive. Are you sure that that is what is causing your concern?

 

[wayfarer]

Some posts have been edited and some deleted. No personal attacks or comments please.

 

[JohnMcM]

I didn't think the OP was at all offensive. Are you sure that that is what is causing your concern?

Maybe I wasn't angry enough.

I'm not offended by the OP.

I'm offended by the idiot mans' behaviour.

Buen Camino