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Can anyone else’s experience with their spouse or family member truly be relevant to yours? I know for some people it works wonderfully, for others it doesn’t.So in theory it sounds great. Wife could fly to Spain and meet me for the final 100km of my Camino Frances. Would be great to share the experience with her etc etc.
However a big part of me is screaming that this would be a big mistake. I will have just spent 5 weeks walking alone (and with other pilgrims). It’s hard to know where I will be emotionally as I reach the final 100km. I suspect I’m going to want to be introspective at this stage, and having my wife and join me at that point, fresh off the airplane from home, might be a recipe for problems.
Or another option. She and my daughter fly to Santiago and are there waiting to cheer me as I arrive at the cathedral. Sounds great on paper, but again I question whether or not I will be in a good frame of mind at that moment. Do I want to see them upon arrival at Santiago? Or will I need some time on my own to process and recover from my Camino before I meet up with family?
My wife has been throwing out a few ideas recently, and I’m thinking I may need to shut down that conversation, as no good can come of her and my daughter flying to Spain to walk the last 100km with me or to meet me in Santiago. A few days later in Madrid perhaps.
Anyone else have experience with having their spouse or other family member join you at the end or be in Santiago when you arrived? How did it go?
In my experience, being introspective at this stage is rarely a thing. Certainly wasn't for me the first time, or practically anyone I have walked with.I will have just spent 5 weeks walking alone (and with other pilgrims). It’s hard to know where I will be emotionally as I reach the final 100km. I suspect I’m going to want to be introspective at this stage,
Each part of this post is perfect.Listen to and share your feelings.
Listen to your wife.
Work it out together.
When I finished my first Camino I wanted to celebrate with other pilgrims. After saying good bye to my Camino family, I had a brief period of feeling very sad and lonely. I needed time to readjust. Having said that, it would have been impossible for me to predict that gamut of emotions in advance. I would suggest erring on the side of caution and listening to your heart!So in theory it sounds great. Wife could fly to Spain and meet me for the final 100km of my Camino Frances. Would be great to share the experience with her etc etc.
However a big part of me is screaming that this would be a big mistake. I will have just spent 5 weeks walking alone (and with other pilgrims). It’s hard to know where I will be emotionally as I reach the final 100km. I suspect I’m going to want to be introspective at this stage, and having my wife and join me at that point, fresh off the airplane from home, might be a recipe for problems.
Or another option. She and my daughter fly to Santiago and are there waiting to cheer me as I arrive at the cathedral. Sounds great on paper, but again I question whether or not I will be in a good frame of mind at that moment. Do I want to see them upon arrival at Santiago? Or will I need some time on my own to process and recover from my Camino before I meet up with family?
My wife has been throwing out a few ideas recently, and I’m thinking I may need to shut down that conversation, as no good can come of her and my daughter flying to Spain to walk the last 100km with me or to meet me in Santiago. A few days later in Madrid perhaps.
Anyone else have experience with having their spouse or other family member join you at the end or be in Santiago when you arrived? How did it go?
I completed the walk to Santiago. Then I flew down to Madrid to meet my husband, came to Sarria, and walked back to Santiago. The second walk with my husband was a totally leisurely vacation -- we took ten days to walk this short route, finishing each day at a nice place to unpack, enjoy a sumptuous lunch, and drink wine in the afternoon. It worked great. We just enjoyed a bit of walking together while catching up with each other and having a great time being tourists.So in theory it sounds great. Wife could fly to Spain and meet me for the final 100km of my Camino Frances. Would be great to share the experience with her etc etc.
However a big part of me is screaming that this would be a big mistake. I will have just spent 5 weeks walking alone (and with other pilgrims). It’s hard to know where I will be emotionally as I reach the final 100km. I suspect I’m going to want to be introspective at this stage, and having my wife and join me at that point, fresh off the airplane from home, might be a recipe for problems.
Or another option. She and my daughter fly to Santiago and are there waiting to cheer me as I arrive at the cathedral. Sounds great on paper, but again I question whether or not I will be in a good frame of mind at that moment. Do I want to see them upon arrival at Santiago? Or will I need some time on my own to process and recover from my Camino before I meet up with family?
My wife has been throwing out a few ideas recently, and I’m thinking I may need to shut down that conversation, as no good can come of her and my daughter flying to Spain to walk the last 100km with me or to meet me in Santiago. A few days later in Madrid perhaps.
Anyone else have experience with having their spouse or other family member join you at the end or be in Santiago when you arrived? How did it go?
You are a wise pilgrim. In energy-terminology, the weeks of walking incrementally raises your frequency ( facilitating he spiritual experience). If your wife meets you 100 km at the end, she will be at her normal-life frequency which will likely not match yours. I respectfully suggest meeting AFTER a few days after your Camino in a stress-location. She needs to be forewarned that you will have changed. After my two six-week Caminos my wife met me on a cruise ship where we sailed for 2 weeks back to Canada. I had already taken two weeks on my own to decompress and reintegrate. Caminos were life enhancing for me.So in theory it sounds great. Wife could fly to Spain and meet me for the final 100km of my Camino Frances. Would be great to share the experience with her etc etc.
However a big part of me is screaming that this would be a big mistake. I will have just spent 5 weeks walking alone (and with other pilgrims). It’s hard to know where I will be emotionally as I reach the final 100km. I suspect I’m going to want to be introspective at this stage, and having my wife and join me at that point, fresh off the airplane from home, might be a recipe for problems.
Or another option. She and my daughter fly to Santiago and are there waiting to cheer me as I arrive at the cathedral. Sounds great on paper, but again I question whether or not I will be in a good frame of mind at that moment. Do I want to see them upon arrival at Santiago? Or will I need some time on my own to process and recover from my Camino before I meet up with family?
My wife has been throwing out a few ideas recently, and I’m thinking I may need to shut down that conversation, as no good can come of her and my daughter flying to Spain to walk the last 100km with me or to meet me in Santiago. A few days later in Madrid perhaps.
Anyone else have experience with having their spouse or other family member join you at the end or be in Santiago when you arrived? How did it go?
Susan, you are a wise lady. I had to do a solo pilgrimage in the spring of '16. It would be a totally different pilgrimage with a spouse joining for the last week or so. Possibly doing the first week together is the best option or a few days after completion.I agree with what everyone has said about the difference in the physical condition of someone who has walked for a month and someone who is just beginning. Also, meeting in Sarria would require you to have a schedule. I have walked with pilgrims who were meeting their spouse in Sarria and this often required them rushing ahead to be there in time or waiting for a day or two in Sarria. I had a hard time meeting my husband after Camino for a vacation. Jumping to busy, trains, plans, automobiles and tours was too quick of a transition. I now plan anything vacations before I start my Camino. I have been married for 37 years and I feel that my solo Camino's only enhance my marriage. My family generously supports me in doing something for myself that brings me such great joy.
I respond from the place of 1)being the spouse who met my husband in Santiago after he'd walked the Camino Frances and I had spent 5 weeks alone at home. We were both different people at that point; you are totally correct that you'll need some processing time. However, we were both very excited to be reunited again so it was joyful. He had arrived in Santiago with Camino friends and been there two days prior to my arrival - that was a good thing, I think. I got to meet a couple of "Camino friends" which was wonderful to have a face to put to the stories he'd tell me. He also walked the Camino with our son, who went off to Montserrat on his own for the weekend when I arrived. We then all re-connected on a Monday and spent a week or so travelling in Portugal, where none of us had been before. I think this worked out optimally - though I have to tell you that I watched him try and live "usual life" again for several months once we got home. The Camino changes how people view themselves, others, and the world.So in theory it sounds great. Wife could fly to Spain and meet me for the final 100km of my Camino Frances. Would be great to share the experience with her etc etc.
However a big part of me is screaming that this would be a big mistake. I will have just spent 5 weeks walking alone (and with other pilgrims). It’s hard to know where I will be emotionally as I reach the final 100km. I suspect I’m going to want to be introspective at this stage, and having my wife and join me at that point, fresh off the airplane from home, might be a recipe for problems.
Or another option. She and my daughter fly to Santiago and are there waiting to cheer me as I arrive at the cathedral. Sounds great on paper, but again I question whether or not I will be in a good frame of mind at that moment. Do I want to see them upon arrival at Santiago? Or will I need some time on my own to process and recover from my Camino before I meet up with family?
My wife has been throwing out a few ideas recently, and I’m thinking I may need to shut down that conversation, as no good can come of her and my daughter flying to Spain to walk the last 100km with me or to meet me in Santiago. A few days later in Madrid perhaps.
Anyone else have experience with having their spouse or other family member join you at the end or be in Santiago when you arrived? How did it go?
I have debated this and decided that for me, the rhythm of the Camino is such that I need processing time. I think inserting my dear husband would not be good, as it’s too big of a shift for me, especially as the last 100 km is a major processing time.So in theory it sounds great. Wife could fly to Spain and meet me for the final 100km of my Camino Frances. Would be great to share the experience with her etc etc.
However a big part of me is screaming that this would be a big mistake. I will have just spent 5 weeks walking alone (and with other pilgrims). It’s hard to know where I will be emotionally as I reach the final 100km. I suspect I’m going to want to be introspective at this stage, and having my wife and join me at that point, fresh off the airplane from home, might be a recipe for problems.
Or another option. She and my daughter fly to Santiago and are there waiting to cheer me as I arrive at the cathedral. Sounds great on paper, but again I question whether or not I will be in a good frame of mind at that moment. Do I want to see them upon arrival at Santiago? Or will I need some time on my own to process and recover from my Camino before I meet up with family?
My wife has been throwing out a few ideas recently, and I’m thinking I may need to shut down that conversation, as no good can come of her and my daughter flying to Spain to walk the last 100km with me or to meet me in Santiago. A few days later in Madrid perhaps.
Anyone else have experience with having their spouse or other family member join you at the end or be in Santiago when you arrived? How did it go?
I started from SJdP and my wife joined me in Sarria for the last 100kms. She was able to experience a sample of what I had been through and also meet my Camily and I honestly think we ended up stronger emotionally then if she had just met me at the end.So in theory it sounds great. Wife could fly to Spain and meet me for the final 100km of my Camino Frances. Would be great to share the experience with her etc etc.
However a big part of me is screaming that this would be a big mistake. I will have just spent 5 weeks walking alone (and with other pilgrims). It’s hard to know where I will be emotionally as I reach the final 100km. I suspect I’m going to want to be introspective at this stage, and having my wife and join me at that point, fresh off the airplane from home, might be a recipe for problems.
Or another option. She and my daughter fly to Santiago and are there waiting to cheer me as I arrive at the cathedral. Sounds great on paper, but again I question whether or not I will be in a good frame of mind at that moment. Do I want to see them upon arrival at Santiago? Or will I need some time on my own to process and recover from my Camino before I meet up with family?
My wife has been throwing out a few ideas recently, and I’m thinking I may need to shut down that conversation, as no good can come of her and my daughter flying to Spain to walk the last 100km with me or to meet me in Santiago. A few days later in Madrid perhaps.
Anyone else have experience with having their spouse or other family member join you at the end or be in Santiago when you arrived? How did it go?
I think meeting you in Santiago is a decent compromise. I will say that you’ll possibly want to spend some time (several hours) in the square and possibly some time the next day welcoming other people you’ve met along your walk. It’s not really something you can anticipate or plan how you’ll feel, just be prepared. Explaining this to her ahead of time, and asking her for the grace of time as needed is kind and thoughtful to do. If she isn’t going to be comfortable with these scenarios, then best to meet a day later or somewhere else. Eventually you need to reconnect to your family. Why not let them share in your joy of completing your Camino?So in theory it sounds great. Wife could fly to Spain and meet me for the final 100km of my Camino Frances. Would be great to share the experience with her etc etc.
However a big part of me is screaming that this would be a big mistake. I will have just spent 5 weeks walking alone (and with other pilgrims). It’s hard to know where I will be emotionally as I reach the final 100km. I suspect I’m going to want to be introspective at this stage, and having my wife and join me at that point, fresh off the airplane from home, might be a recipe for problems.
Or another option. She and my daughter fly to Santiago and are there waiting to cheer me as I arrive at the cathedral. Sounds great on paper, but again I question whether or not I will be in a good frame of mind at that moment. Do I want to see them upon arrival at Santiago? Or will I need some time on my own to process and recover from my Camino before I meet up with family?
My wife has been throwing out a few ideas recently, and I’m thinking I may need to shut down that conversation, as no good can come of her and my daughter flying to Spain to walk the last 100km with me or to meet me in Santiago. A few days later in Madrid perhaps.
Anyone else have experience with having their spouse or other family member join you at the end or be in Santiago when you arrived? How did it go?
I am doing something similar. Would you share your itinerary and albergues used during your walk with spouse?I completed the walk to Santiago. Then I flew down to Madrid to meet my husband, came to Sarria, and walked back to Santiago. The second walk with my husband was a totally leisurely vacation -- we took ten days to walk this short route, finishing each day at a nice place to unpack, enjoy a sumptuous lunch, and drink wine in the afternoon. It worked great. We just enjoyed a bit of walking together while catching up with each other and having a great time being tourists.
Here is my experience. My wife and I had planned to fmgo on a Camino tour in September 2015. The trip involved traveling from Astorga to Santiago, walking some of the Camino and being bused on some sections etc. We were going to go with my brother and his wife (my wife’s sister). After paying our deposit we watched the movie The Way (again) and when the movie ended I KNEW I needed to walk the entire Camino Frances as a bridge into my retirement. I considered planning my Camino to meet my wife in Astorga and joining the tour, but through discussions with other Pilgrims I was advised to consider the difficulty of walking in the heat of the summer to reach Astorga in September, AND also having to leave my Camino family when ai reached Astorga. The latter being huge truth.So in theory it sounds great. Wife could fly to Spain and meet me for the final 100km of my Camino Frances. Would be great to share the experience with her etc etc.
However a big part of me is screaming that this would be a big mistake. I will have just spent 5 weeks walking alone (and with other pilgrims). It’s hard to know where I will be emotionally as I reach the final 100km. I suspect I’m going to want to be introspective at this stage, and having my wife and join me at that point, fresh off the airplane from home, might be a recipe for problems.
Or another option. She and my daughter fly to Santiago and are there waiting to cheer me as I arrive at the cathedral. Sounds great on paper, but again I question whether or not I will be in a good frame of mind at that moment. Do I want to see them upon arrival at Santiago? Or will I need some time on my own to process and recover from my Camino before I meet up with family?
My wife has been throwing out a few ideas recently, and I’m thinking I may need to shut down that conversation, as no good can come of her and my daughter flying to Spain to walk the last 100km with me or to meet me in Santiago. A few days later in Madrid perhaps.
Anyone else have experience with having their spouse or other family member join you at the end or be in Santiago when you arrived? How did it go?
I’d skip the meeting up, especially at Sarria. By then you’re going to be in your own little world with your own new friends and it will be really awkward for your wife to assimilate. This past September I walked the French route again and in Santiago met up with a Camino friend who had just walked the Primitivo. I had lunch with him and his “family” but had absolutely nothing in common with them. I didn’t know the inside jokes, couldn’t share in the ‘remember that one day when it rained’ talk. I just sat and listened and felt extremely out of place. We were all pilgrims yet our different experiences separated us. He voiced the same thing when he met up with my group.So in theory it sounds great. Wife could fly to Spain and meet me for the final 100km of my Camino Frances. Would be great to share the experience with her etc etc.
However a big part of me is screaming that this would be a big mistake. I will have just spent 5 weeks walking alone (and with other pilgrims). It’s hard to know where I will be emotionally as I reach the final 100km. I suspect I’m going to want to be introspective at this stage, and having my wife and join me at that point, fresh off the airplane from home, might be a recipe for problems.
Or another option. She and my daughter fly to Santiago and are there waiting to cheer me as I arrive at the cathedral. Sounds great on paper, but again I question whether or not I will be in a good frame of mind at that moment. Do I want to see them upon arrival at Santiago? Or will I need some time on my own to process and recover from my Camino before I meet up with family?
My wife has been throwing out a few ideas recently, and I’m thinking I may need to shut down that conversation, as no good can come of her and my daughter flying to Spain to walk the last 100km with me or to meet me in Santiago. A few days later in Madrid perhaps.
Anyone else have experience with having their spouse or other family member join you at the end or be in Santiago when you arrived? How did it go?
Personally I don’t think it’s a good idea.So in theory it sounds great. Wife could fly to Spain and meet me for the final 100km of my Camino Frances. Would be great to share the experience with her etc etc.
However a big part of me is screaming that this would be a big mistake. I will have just spent 5 weeks walking alone (and with other pilgrims). It’s hard to know where I will be emotionally as I reach the final 100km. I suspect I’m going to want to be introspective at this stage, and having my wife and join me at that point, fresh off the airplane from home, might be a recipe for problems.
Or another option. She and my daughter fly to Santiago and are there waiting to cheer me as I arrive at the cathedral. Sounds great on paper, but again I question whether or not I will be in a good frame of mind at that moment. Do I want to see them upon arrival at Santiago? Or will I need some time on my own to process and recover from my Camino before I meet up with family?
My wife has been throwing out a few ideas recently, and I’m thinking I may need to shut down that conversation, as no good can come of her and my daughter flying to Spain to walk the last 100km with me or to meet me in Santiago. A few days later in Madrid perhaps.
Anyone else have experience with having their spouse or other family member join you at the end or be in Santiago when you arrived? How did it go?
I love this suggestion. Id add, giving your spouse to become the leader would be a nice balance tooI completed the walk to Santiago. Then I flew down to Madrid to meet my husband, came to Sarria, and walked back to Santiago. The second walk with my husband was a totally leisurely vacation -- we took ten days to walk this short route, finishing each day at a nice place to unpack, enjoy a sumptuous lunch, and drink wine in the afternoon. It worked great. We just enjoyed a bit of walking together while catching up with each other and having a great time being tourists.
This is a really interesting comment, and it resonates with me. I can imaging even people having walked the same Camino in different families would share this experience. Each group binds for a reason.I’d skip the meeting up, especially at Sarria. By then you’re going to be in your own little world with your own new friends and it will be really awkward for your wife to assimilate. This past September I walked the French route again and in Santiago met up with a Camino friend who had just walked the Primitivo. I had lunch with him and his “family” but had absolutely nothing in common with them. I didn’t know the inside jokes, couldn’t share in the ‘remember that one day when it rained’ talk. I just sat and listened and felt extremely out of place. We were all pilgrims yet our different experiences separated us. He voiced the same thing when he met up with my group.
I’d meet up in Santiago but only after I’d given myself at least a day to decompress.
This is one case where you listen to your brain, not your heart. And your brain nailed it: don't walk together that last stretch. I was just reflecting that whether it's your spouse, your partner, your friend or even yourself as you are now, the you that will arrive in Sarria will not be the same as the you of today. Your brain will be relaxed...no stress, no fear, no worry...you've done the routine so many times you are on auto pilot. Your heart, or the emotional side of you, will be at peace, reflective, drinking in the wonders your attuned senses catch that the former you may never have been so attuned to.So in theory it sounds great. Wife could fly to Spain and meet me for the final 100km of my Camino Frances. Would be great to share the experience with her etc etc.
However a big part of me is screaming that this would be a big mistake. I will have just spent 5 weeks walking alone (and with other pilgrims). It’s hard to know where I will be emotionally as I reach the final 100km. I suspect I’m going to want to be introspective at this stage, and having my wife and join me at that point, fresh off the airplane from home, might be a recipe for problems.
Or another option. She and my daughter fly to Santiago and are there waiting to cheer me as I arrive at the cathedral. Sounds great on paper, but again I question whether or not I will be in a good frame of mind at that moment. Do I want to see them upon arrival at Santiago? Or will I need some time on my own to process and recover from my Camino before I meet up with family?
My wife has been throwing out a few ideas recently, and I’m thinking I may need to shut down that conversation, as no good can come of her and my daughter flying to Spain to walk the last 100km with me or to meet me in Santiago. A few days later in Madrid perhaps.
Anyone else have experience with having their spouse or other family member join you at the end or be in Santiago when you arrived? How did it go?
Then, there are those of us who tend NOT to bond so tightly to a group. Even when we might seem (to onlookers) like part of one of those "families", we are not really invested in the same way.I can imaging even people having walked the same Camino in different families would share this experience. Each group binds for a reason.
After over 40 years, I do consider him my life partner/best friend. However, we are very different people, and finding ways to work together has been a challenge. Our solutions are different from those that another couple will reach. Some couples enjoy being together 24/7 and others don't. That is OK and we shouldn't imply that those other couples are not doing it right!its your life partner/best friend
I totally get where you are coming from in both of these statements. On my last Camino - I did find a "Camino Family", but I was often on the "cusp" of the group. I walked alone - A LOT. By choice. I had a horrible work year and was mentally and physically exhausted and needed the quiet time to myself. And when I didn't want to be alone, I knew I could hang out with them - and did. Many of the group got to be VERY close, and some of us were outliers. And it was wonderful. The close knit folks were very welcoming to us outliers.Then, there are those of us who tend NOT to bond so tightly to a group. Even when we might seem (to onlookers) like part of one of those "families", we are not really invested in the same way.
Our solutions are different from those that another couple will reach. Some couples enjoy being together 24/7 and others don't. That is OK and we shouldn't imply that those other couples are not doing it right!
We aren't together 24/7 nor would we want to be, we each have our own friends though many overlap, we each have our own interests, we aren't joined at the hip and I don't think I implied that others weren't doing it right. The op posed a question that he had really answered before he asked it and my take on it is that he should discuss it with his wife and daughter and listen to what they might like to do or else just tell them that he doesn't want to share his Camino with them.Some couples enjoy being together 24/7 and others don't. That is OK and we shouldn't imply that those other couples are not doing it right!
Sorry if I was being a bit defensive! Yes, they need to work out something that makes it a positive experience for everyone!I don't think I implied that others weren't doing it right... my take on it is that he should discuss it with his wife and daughter and listen to what they might like to do or else just tell them that he doesn't want to share his Camino with them.
Another factor is the timeline of a relationship, at present being in my mid 50s in a 23 year marriage I would not choose to be traveling solo, but who knows what the future holds, quite possibly when we are retired my wife may be very grateful if I buggered off for a few weeks??Then, there are those of us who tend NOT to bond so tightly to a group. Even when we might seem (to onlookers) like part of one of those "families", we are not really invested in the same way.
There are many aspects in my marriage that don't meet the magazine ideal. Maybe that's because two imperfect humans are involved. After over 40 years, I do consider him my life partner/best friend. However, we are very different people, and finding ways to work together has been a challenge. Our solutions are different from those that another couple will reach. Some couples enjoy being together 24/7 and others don't. That is OK and we shouldn't imply that those other couples are not doing it right!
That’s how I read it too.The op posed a question that he had really answered before he asked it and my take on it is that he should discuss it with his wife and daughter and listen to what they might like to do or else just tell them that he doesn't want to share his Camino with them.
My wife has been throwing out a few ideas recently, and I’m thinking I may need to shut down that conversation
And then there are pilgrims who do not want to find " a Camino family". A concept btw that I never understood to begin with.Having taken my husband on those last 114 kilometers...I t
Besides...whether you find a Camino family or not is not completely up to you. I suspect that some pilgrims don't find one.
Neither Phil or I found a family except each other. We walk too slow and don't go as far each day so people pass us by. We do meet a lot of people though.And then there are pilgrims who do not want to find " a Camino family". A concept btw that I never understood to begin with.
Family I have at home. Possible new friends I might make on a Camino. Or not...
Same. It's a recent camino myth encouraged by the movie and countless blogs.And then there are pilgrims who do not want to find " a Camino family". A concept btw that I never understood to begin with.
Exactly.Family I have at home. Possible new friends I might make on a Camino. Or not...
This isn't some random pilgrim from a "Camino family" we are talking about here, its your life partner/best friend and your daughter.
he should discuss it with his wife and daughter and listen to what they might like to do.
Having this discussion with us is pointless. 1) it alreadyee sounds like you made up your mind and 2) if you can't have an open honest discussion about this with your wife you have more serious issues to work out with her. If your wife wants to be a part of this experience - and you completely deny her - that can cause issues in itself.
Yes, this is a very significant factor!Another factor is the timeline of a relationship
In 2007 I walked the Camino for the 4th time, with two friends. My husband, who was a sportsman but not a walker, joined us in Sarria. It was wonderful - wonderful for him to share my passion for the Camino and finally understand why I loved it so much; wonderful to slow down and walk shorter distances, thereby stretching it out a bit! It was also wonderful to walk into Santiago together. He is a big bearded, macho Viking ex-rugby player, but got teary in the cathedral when the nun started singing and while the botafumerio was swinging!
We hired a car and drove to Fistera and then Lugo where we spent a night. Then we drove to Oviedo and spent a day and night there. Then to Castrojeriz for a night, Burgos and Santo Domingo de la Clazada to hear the Gregorian chants. Then we drove to St Jean and back over the hill to Roncesvalles for a night. We attended the mass and he got emotional again during the pilgrim blessing.
Since then he walked the Camino Ingles with me in 2014, the last 100km of the Via Francigena to Rome in 2016, and Sarria to Santiago again 2019.
We had booked to do a 2 week walk-and-ride Camino in 2020 but as with everyone else's plans, those had to be cancelled.
Finn and me in 2007View attachment 121253
IMHO, Don’t try to integrate her into your Camino. You’ll be going from staying in Albeurges, walking Solo to most likely sequestering yourself at Pensions with your wife/daughter. You’ll have figured out your patterns many days ago. They haven’t. You’ll come to resent them. My wife and I walked in 2016 and now I start walking the CP in a few hours alone. Although she kind of wanted to go with me she gave her blessing. She knows what the Camino is. I think maybe walking to Finesterre with her after would be a Compromise and let you separate the two walksSo in theory it sounds great. Wife could fly to Spain and meet me for the final 100km of my Camino Frances. Would be great to share the experience with her etc etc.
However a big part of me is screaming that this would be a big mistake. I will have just spent 5 weeks walking alone (and with other pilgrims). It’s hard to know where I will be emotionally as I reach the final 100km. I suspect I’m going to want to be introspective at this stage, and having my wife and join me at that point, fresh off the airplane from home, might be a recipe for problems.
Or another option. She and my daughter fly to Santiago and are there waiting to cheer me as I arrive at the cathedral. Sounds great on paper, but again I question whether or not I will be in a good frame of mind at that moment. Do I want to see them upon arrival at Santiago? Or will I need some time on my own to process and recover from my Camino before I meet up with family?
My wife has been throwing out a few ideas recently, and I’m thinking I may need to shut down that conversation, as no good can come of her and my daughter flying to Spain to walk the last 100km with me or to meet me in Santiago. A few days later in Madrid perhaps.
Anyone else have experience with having their spouse or other family member join you at the end or be in Santiago when you arrived? How did it go?
I have walked the camino frances twice, once with my husband and once alone until I got to Sarria where I joined a friend I met on my first camino. My sense is that the camino is much more trafficked and noisy the last 100 km. There are a lot of tours that come for the last 100 km. For myself I interpreted this as God’s way of moving me from a contemplative walk and back into the world.So in theory it sounds great. Wife could fly to Spain and meet me for the final 100km of my Camino Frances. Would be great to share the experience with her etc etc.
However a big part of me is screaming that this would be a big mistake. I will have just spent 5 weeks walking alone (and with other pilgrims). It’s hard to know where I will be emotionally as I reach the final 100km. I suspect I’m going to want to be introspective at this stage, and having my wife and join me at that point, fresh off the airplane from home, might be a recipe for problems.
Or another option. She and my daughter fly to Santiago and are there waiting to cheer me as I arrive at the cathedral. Sounds great on paper, but again I question whether or not I will be in a good frame of mind at that moment. Do I want to see them upon arrival at Santiago? Or will I need some time on my own to process and recover from my Camino before I meet up with family?
My wife has been throwing out a few ideas recently, and I’m thinking I may need to shut down that conversation, as no good can come of her and my daughter flying to Spain to walk the last 100km with me or to meet me in Santiago. A few days later in Madrid perhaps.
Anyone else have experience with having their spouse or other family member join you at the end or be in Santiago when you arrived? How did it go?
Your Camino will change when you have an arranged meeting. I met my wife, younger sister and friends in Sarria.So in theory it sounds great. Wife could fly to Spain and meet me for the final 100km of my Camino Frances. Would be great to share the experience with her etc etc.
However a big part of me is screaming that this would be a big mistake. I will have just spent 5 weeks walking alone (and with other pilgrims). It’s hard to know where I will be emotionally as I reach the final 100km. I suspect I’m going to want to be introspective at this stage, and having my wife and join me at that point, fresh off the airplane from home, might be a recipe for problems.
Or another option. She and my daughter fly to Santiago and are there waiting to cheer me as I arrive at the cathedral. Sounds great on paper, but again I question whether or not I will be in a good frame of mind at that moment. Do I want to see them upon arrival at Santiago? Or will I need some time on my own to process and recover from my Camino before I meet up with family?
My wife has been throwing out a few ideas recently, and I’m thinking I may need to shut down that conversation, as no good can come of her and my daughter flying to Spain to walk the last 100km with me or to meet me in Santiago. A few days later in Madrid perhaps.
Anyone else have experience with having their spouse or other family member join you at the end or be in Santiago when you arrived? How did it go?
Why not meet her and yr daughter day after u arrive in Santiago then all 3 of you walk the 4 days to Finistere or Muxia or get bus there. That way u have evening with all your Camino family and get your compestella and then have time for the family.So in theory it sounds great. Wife could fly to Spain and meet me for the final 100km of my Camino Frances. Would be great to share the experience with her etc etc.
However a big part of me is screaming that this would be a big mistake. I will have just spent 5 weeks walking alone (and with other pilgrims). It’s hard to know where I will be emotionally as I reach the final 100km. I suspect I’m going to want to be introspective at this stage, and having my wife and join me at that point, fresh off the airplane from home, might be a recipe for problems.
Or another option. She and my daughter fly to Santiago and are there waiting to cheer me as I arrive at the cathedral. Sounds great on paper, but again I question whether or not I will be in a good frame of mind at that moment. Do I want to see them upon arrival at Santiago? Or will I need some time on my own to process and recover from my Camino before I meet up with family?
My wife has been throwing out a few ideas recently, and I’m thinking I may need to shut down that conversation, as no good can come of her and my daughter flying to Spain to walk the last 100km with me or to meet me in Santiago. A few days later in Madrid perhaps.
Anyone else have experience with having their spouse or other family member join you at the end or be in Santiago when you arrived? How did it go?
Hi Jack, I think your leaning towards being 'out of normal space' for the whole of your Camino and perhaps a little after is good as it seems a fit for your hopes for Camino.Many thanks to everyone that responded. Lots of great thoughts and pieces of advice for me to consider.
I don’t know a single person in real life that has walked a Camino (or even heard of it), so I really value the opportunity here to hear the perspectives of all those who have done it. As expected, there are a number of different viewpoints on whether or not it’s a good idea to meet up with family at the end, and a lot of great rationale to support those viewpoints. I don’t yet know for sure what our finale decision will be, but I’m leaning towards doing this thing from start to finish on my own. And I do feel that I will want/need a bit of time at the end to decompress, before plunging back into the real world. My wife will be fine if that’s what we decide. She took a solo vacation a couple years ago to do something that was on her bucket list, so now it’s my turn. And my daughter is still a kid so she just goes with the flow. A daily text message and a few photos letting them know how I’m doing will let them follow along virtually.
A couple responses above stated that “having this discussion with us is pointless”, which I would disagree with. Of course the decision is a personal one that no one else can make for me. The same could perhaps be said for half of the questions posted here. It’s always nice to hear the perspective of others, so thanks for indulging me.
Perhaps it was your thought that the new arrival would do the adjusting. I know that I just slowed down and understood that the last section would be a little different. After all , we agreed to walk togetherHola @SabineP, would you please explain why or how my response to the OP made you angry! I thought I was offering some good advice. As a pilgrim who has completed a number of caminos I have seen and spoken to couples in the above situation and both the one who had walked three or four hundred kilometres and the new arrival agreed it took a lot of adjustments. In fact the new arrival suggested that had they thought it through they would have met at Monte Gozo and shared the last 10 km.
A very good point, and one that I've been contemplating. A lot. I tend to agree that daily texts may be counter-productive for what I want to accomplish, so I need to find a compromise. Quite honestly I have no problem being out of communication with my wife for long periods **insert joke + rimshot**, but I will truly struggle with not being in touch with my young daughter. I don't think I've ever been away from her for more than a night, so missing her will be my biggest challenge. 6 weeks is a long time to a young kid... But this is a first-in-a-lifetime experience, and I'm determined to sort out all my mental baggage associated with leaving my family, and being out of touch for such a long period. In the end it will be worth it I know.If you want 'your pilgrimage' then you need to be there .... what I and many others do is to tell those at home that you won't be texting them, phoning them, you won't be sending photos of your meals or views and ask them not to phone or text you unless there is an emergency. Why? Because if you do you turn it into just another holiday and you will no longer be processing your thoughts, emotions, fears, memories, experiences internally, but sharing them externally as you do at home round the dinner table.
I don't agree with this. A brief check-in with my husband gives him the peace of mind he needs to feel more comfortable with me making a personal journey like this. He also loves to hear about my days adventure. It makes him feel good to hear from me. And I enjoy checking in with him and don't find it detracts from my pilgrimage at all. I also find that after processing all of my thoughts, emotions, fears, memories, experiences internally - then again externally actually allows me to work through them better than when I just do it internally. I still turn off my phone for much of the day (or at least in airplane mode). And I spend at least 23.5+ hours of the day (most days) NOT communicating with my family at home. I can use those other 23.5 hours of the day internally reflecting - or interacting with my fellow Pilgrims. If I feel the need to not call him - I do have that option - I would just tell him advance not to expect to hear from me the following day. Anyhow - I am going on a pilgrimage - but not entering a monastery and taking a vow of silence. But.. a brief daily text is even less intrusive if you want to make it less intrusive.If I could say, though, beware of promising such things as daily texts. It is that thing of being in two places at the same time ... can't be done, trying to do both is a compromise ... If you want 'your pilgrimage' then you need to be there .... what I and many others do is to tell those at home that you won't be texting them, phoning them, you won't be sending photos of your meals or views and ask them not to phone or text you unless there is an emergency. Why? Because if you do you turn it into just another holiday and you will no longer be processing your thoughts, emotions, fears, memories, experiences internally, but sharing them externally as you do at home round the dinner table.
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