- Time of past OR future Camino
- Recent:Norte/Muxia- Spring '23
MadridWay- Fall '23
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I was supposed to walk into Burgos today... I'll be back!Hello all,
I'm not having a very good day. It is 45°F, extremely windy and raining on and off so I've been cooped up inside, which has not helped my mood.
I was very disappointed, not "devastated", (oh no, not me), when my Spring camino to leave on April 19th was canceled. I'd been gone from home every spring for five years straight on these most special adventures in my retirement and they have each been the highlight of that particular year, surpassing all other planned vacations.
This time I was bringing two newbie family members and had everything planned out ahead of time. At first, I tried to accept this loss, but now I am starting to plummet. I feel sad, in a funk, flat, and unmotivated. Heck, I'm supposed to be nearly ten days into my walk in Spain as I type this. I still walk three miles most days on my local trail, but have no desire to increase the distance like I usually did with enthusiasm during the month before I was set to depart.
I have a really good, easy life at home and I do not live alone, but I miss getting together with my girlfriends for lunch out or to exercise with them. I'm sure all this self isolation is contributing to my melancholy feelings.
I want to say that I truly admire those of you who are participating on the varying threads by walking virtual caminos, zoom meetings, and even researching obscure locations in the movie "The Way". I wish I were enthused in the same way as many of you are, but I am not.
I guess I'm having a pity party today and feeling kind of "lost", and yes, I know I am acting spoiled and have a selfish outlook... maybe tomorrow will be better.
I do not usually share a depressed side of who I am, especially on a public forum, but oh well, today I am and you are my Camino family. Thankfully I am not normally given to despair like this. I hope my camino walking days will not be permanently over. I know there are others who most likely share some similar feelings, so know I am not the only one...we all are feeling some loss of varying degrees.
Thanks for listening.
Maybe I'll feel like you tomorrow...hope so! Optimism is contagious!I was supposed to walk into Burgos today... I'll be back!
Awww, thanks for putting a smile on my face! You are special indeed, always have been since I first got to know you in 2018.Will this help at all?
View attachment 74140
Awww, so funny! A smile given to me by my good friend!Missing a camino is awful: night farts, folks screaming in middle of their dreams, matrimonio beds, and those matrimonio bunk beds. There’s nothing like sleeping face to face inches from a complete stranger.
Rick, I am lifted up each and every day by your posts on various threads. I have the "Not Serious" thread in particular to thank for getting to know you in 2018. It was the catalyst that brought us together for a few hours last October in Barcelona because of that connection we share.To slow your fall:
Thank you, @dougfitz! A wonderful reply! I walked the Portuguese out of Porto last spring. Your words are written like a good novel. I imagined those crisp white sheets myself as they were always such a treat after being in my sleeping bag for days on end. The perspectives of others are often helpful and I appreciated yours!@Camino Chrissy, you shouldn't feel alone, even if current circumstances all conspire to do that.
@alexwalker's comment made me think about where I might have been on the CP today if I had managed to start last Sunday. Given the time zone differences, I think I would be still sleeping, but where? Porto de Muge was my target. Did I get there? Or did I push on a bit last night? If I had stopped at Porto de Muge, would I have stayed in the delightful looking Quinta de Palmeiras or the more rustic Quinta da Burra? My budget might not have stretched to the former, but one can dream of crisp white sheets and the delights of a formal dining room, well trimmed gardens and a swimming pool.
Perhaps my budget did get the better of me, and I stayed at a rural family home, with the delights that might have also had. Views over the fields now turning green with new crops, the prospect of dinner in a warm kitchen. And perhaps something more substantial than toast, juice and coffee for breakfast, even if that means not making a really early start.
And today, I would have walked into Santarem. Right now at home it is threatening to rain, and the hills across the valley have a backdrop of clouds. I think how nice it would be to be walking with the sun warming up the day, taking advantage of the short day I had planned to get my pack off before it gets too hot, and explore, do a bit of laundry and find somewhere for dinner tonight. Would there be other pilgrims? Or is it true that the CP is remarkably quiet before reaching Porto?
And I keep myself optimistic that this will all happen, just not yet. Do I speculate about when? Of course, but more to ensure that I am prepared to take advantage of getting there once the Portuguese and Spanish Governments decide the risks are manageable, and the government here lifts restrictions on overseas travel. I find that the pundits here who do speculate about whether it might be this year or next rather annoying, that discussion unhelpful, and now ignore those threads where I can. I would rather spend my energy getting ready for this pilgrimage when the opportunity arises.
Stay safe.
ps - I am watching CP videos on YouTube, and plotting the journeys in Google Maps, but I think of that as preparation! I haven't resorted to mulling over whether Tom and his companions were walking towards or away from Santiago in any particular scene of The Way. I will leave that to others for the moment.
Hi Chrissy! I agree with @Northern Light, who just posted as I was writing the following!I wish I were enthused in the same way as many of you are, but I am not.
Great advise, Terry, I appreciate your input. You are doing the right things...a bit at a time and it is then not so overwhelming. I do have plans to start a small vegetable garden in a couple of weeks since it's my first spring home in a very long time! However, I do not have a green thumb, but envy those who do!You are not alone with these feelings -it makes us all feel we have lost control. We (especially pilgrims) get fulfillment from self-directed action. I sometimes feel like a deer, standing in the road waiting for a car or a hunter to take me down. Too much waiting. I don't want to be a target.
Are our lives something that happens to us - or are we the agents that make everything happen? I choose to do little things that make me feel I have control.
What helps for me, are little projects -
Plant the peas today. And put the rototiller thru the garden
Visit my sister and give her some N95 masks and my West Wing CDs and the pistachio nuts she loves.
Add two more miles, to my four mile morning walks.
Wash the winter grime on the windows and put up screens for the summer.
Clean out the garage and see if there are any antiques I can put in my booth at Elmer's Barn when it reopens.
Paint the front door purple (Its a old 1840 Federal in Maine)
Trim the back Labrador's nails and give the old girl a brushing - girls like this attention. I know cause the tail wags the whole time.
Just one good thing accomplished every day. I am vigilant in setting small goals.
Makes me feel like I am the actor on stage and I'm not watching a movie.
Also I limit my news to just about 20 minutes. Causes too much "reaction formation".
I used to do some wood carving and still have to carving tools - that's next on the list - maybe I'll make a garden stool and carve the Phoenix Rising Out of the Ashes on the seat back!
I try to stay in the moment, like I did walking the Camino.
I love these words! I've thought of how extra appreciative I will be "next time"...I will never take walking the Camino for granted again!Just think how absolutely joyous we will all feel when we are once again walking to Santiago!! Maybe an extra special exhilaration for those who already know the joy it brings. I think each person's first return trip to Santiago will make it a Holy Year, whichever year it turns out to be.
I enjoyed reading Doug’s dreams. A side I haven’t seen before.I might have been on the CP today if I had managed to start last Sunday. Given the time zone differences, I think I would be still sleeping, but where? Porto de Muge was my target. Did I get there? Or did I push on a bit last night? If I had stopped at Porto de Muge, would I have stayed in the delightful looking Quinta de Palmeiras or the more rustic Quinta da Burra? My budget might not have stretched to the former, but one can dream of crisp white sheets and the delights of a formal dining room, well trimmed gardens and a swimming pool.
Perhaps my budget did get the better of me, and I stayed at a rural family home, with the delights that might have also had. Views over the fields now turning green with new crops, the prospect of dinner in a warm kitchen. And perhaps something more substantial than toast, juice and coffee for breakfast, even if that means not making a really early start.
And today, I would have walked into Santarem. Right now at home it is threatening to rain, and the hills across the valley have a backdrop of clouds. I think how nice it would be to be walking with the sun warming up the day, taking advantage of the short day I had planned to get my pack off before it gets too hot, and explore, do a bit of laundry and find somewhere for dinner tonight. Would there be other pilgrims? Or is it true that the CP is remarkably quiet before reaching Porto?
I’ve always wondered about the meaning of the word. ‘Meh’. ??I’ve dabbled in some threads but, meh
Maybe see you when the zoom is scheduled for the MozárabeI’d had my eye on a mid-April start, out of Almeria, but I saw the writing on the wall and never booked the flight. Sigh.
Love the way you’ve put this @C clearlyKeep in mind that most of us put on a slightly better public front than we might feel. I have been participating in some Zoom meetings, but don't always feel I really want to be there. It is OK to log on and not say anything much, or even to stay for only 10 minutes. (In fact, I have suggested that a time limit be set for the calls, so that we don't have to come up with excuses to leave before they end.)
I was maintaining a thread on a virtual camino on the Sanabres. I had planned to post one stage per day. But then I found that it seemed like too much work, but I had an obligation. So, I slowed it down and only posted a new stage every 2 or 3 days. In fact that worked better, since other people could reply with more leisure, too.
I tend to be a project-oriented person and like to check things off a list. We all have "plans" to get certain things done "when we have time." It is rather odd to find that these days we have time, but it is hard to get motivated and started.
- this is my method. I feel if I ‘chip away’ a little at a time and ‘do a few things extra’ each day ‘ - it gives me a feeling of satisfaction and I don’t feel bad about myself.What helps for me, are little projects -
Hi Chris,I love these words! I've thought of how extra appreciative I will be "next time"...I will never take walking the Camino for granted again!
Hello all,
I'm not having a very good day. It is 45°F, extremely windy and raining on and off so I've been cooped up inside, which has not helped my mood.
I was very disappointed, not "devastated", (oh no, not me), when my Spring camino to leave on April 19th was canceled. I'd been gone from home every spring for five years straight on these most special adventures in my retirement and they have each been the highlight of that particular year, surpassing all other planned vacations.
This time I was bringing two newbie family members and had everything planned out ahead of time. At first, I tried to accept this loss, but now I am starting to plummet. I feel sad, in a funk, flat, and unmotivated. Heck, I'm supposed to be nearly ten days into my walk in Spain as I type this. I still walk three miles most days on my local trail, but have no desire to increase the distance like I usually did with enthusiasm during the month before I was set to depart.
I have a really good, easy life at home and I do not live alone, but I miss getting together with my girlfriends for lunch out or to exercise with them. I'm sure all this self isolation is contributing to my melancholy feelings.
I want to say that I truly admire those of you who are participating on the varying threads by walking virtual caminos, zoom meetings, and even researching obscure locations in the movie "The Way". I wish I were enthused in the same way as many of you are, but I am not.
I guess I'm having a pity party today and feeling kind of "lost", and yes, I know I am acting spoiled and have a selfish outlook... maybe tomorrow will be better.
I do not usually share a depressed side of who I am, especially on a public forum, but oh well, today I am and you are my Camino family. Thankfully I am not normally given to despair like this. I hope my camino walking days will not be permanently over. I know there are others who most likely share some similar feelings, so know I am not the only one...we all are feeling some loss of varying degrees.
Thanks for listening.
Hello Chrissy,
This all sounds like a completely understandable response. We pilgrims love to talk on and on about the camino to our family and friends. The eventuality of some of those people actually coming with you and all the planning that goes into it would be beyond exciting for me, and the disappointment you are feeling because that is not going to happen when you intended must feel immense.
I really hope that when you do get to visit the Camino with your loved ones it will reveal, in very Camino ways riches that going when you intended to may not have done. At least, I am trying to tether myhope to this thought with varying degrees of success. I too intended to be walking more of the Way in a few short weeks. It's going to feel pretty weird when my departure date comes and goes .
There are wintery skies outside today and the days are shorter for those long walks when I like to dress in my camino clobber and channel the camino. A good friend saw me go by the other day and laughed saying you look like you stepped out of one of your camino photos. I laughed but it helps my sense of loss if I can frame these long walks as training for the next one, hopefully next summer.
Take care xo
No no no! Green thumbs do not exist! You try planting some plants and they grow or they don't. Could depend on many things, but NOT on the colour of your thumb, or on your character! I have had many failures and many successes in the garden - I don't attribute any of them to my personal talent.I do have plans to start a small vegetable garden in a couple of weeks since it's my first spring home in a very long time! However, I do not have a green thumb, but envy those who do!
Maybe, maybe not. But black thumbs, definitely do. Mine is enough to drain the life out of any plant it goes near!No no no! Green thumbs do not exist!
@Kiwi, you definately shine brightly with your amazing attitude! Even on my best days I am not quite on par with your outlook. I do help care for my semi-disabled brother by bringing his groceries, among other things. When I go on the Camino I must make sure other siblings step up to help fill in the gap.@Camino Chrissy you already sound brighter! I was reminded today that there can be good in the bad. I was so glad to be here at home and not in Spain when my youngest cut her foot this morning and needed stitches - I’m glad it was me who could take her to the medical centre. And that made me realise I am glad I am here and not in Spain so I can care for my father-in-law and cook for him every day. I am grateful I got to take him for medical procedures and to drop him off at hospital in the middle of lockdown once he was diagnosed with hepatitis. I’m glad I was here and pushing for him to be tested - and it just occurred to me today that if there were no travel restrictions in place I would have been in a turmoil about leaving him and would have been carrying that burden if I’d gone. Crikey, I cried as I left the hospital (and I’m not the crying sort usually - although at that point we thought he had a tumour and I was aware it might have just been a final goodbye) - how hard would it have been to leave the country?
I am grateful too that I get to be home all day every day with one daughter in particular who usually chooses to spend bare minimum time at home and that has been a real treasure. I do still wonder what it would have been like to have no kid duties for two months but my eyes are seeing differently today.
Awww, thanks @CWBuff!"I guess I am having a pity party"
Then in the "usual Camino Chrissy"fashion you should sing it's my party and I cry if I want to
Daily walks and motivation:
I'm still what can be labeled "a Camino Virgin"so perhaps it is slightly different for me... but I tell you
Every time I see so much as a Mole Hill in front of me I start yelling ORISSON
Hang in there! ✌
I started my first Camino at age 58 - had my 59th birthday in SantiagoMy main concern having discovered the Camino in my late fifties was that my body would wear out before my desire to keep walking Camino's was sated.
That's sort of my gardening philosophy - only the strongest plants survive in my garden.No no no! Green thumbs do not exist! You try planting some plants and they grow or they don't.
I'm just trying to follow the rules now, but if you insist!Nah.... you are still not totally 100%
You didn't call me Buffy ,
You are not alone with these feelings -it makes us all feel we have lost control. We (especially pilgrims) get fulfillment from self-directed action. I sometimes feel like a deer, standing in the road waiting for a car or a hunter to take me down. Too much waiting. I don't want to be a target.
Are our lives something that happens to us - or are we the agents that make everything happen? I choose to do little things that make me feel I have control.
What helps for me, are little projects -
Plant the peas today. And put the rototiller thru the garden
Visit my sister and give her some N95 masks and my West Wing CDs and the pistachio nuts she loves.
Add two more miles, to my four mile morning walks.
Wash the winter grime on the windows and put up screens for the summer.
Clean out the garage and see if there are any antiques I can put in my booth at Elmer's Barn when it reopens.
Paint the front door purple (Its a old 1840 Federal in Maine)
Trim the back Labrador's nails and give the old girl a brushing - girls like this attention. I know cause the tail wags the whole time.
Just one good thing accomplished every day. I am vigilant in setting small goals.
Makes me feel like I am the actor on stage and I'm not watching a movie.
Also I limit my news to just about 20 minutes. Causes too much "reaction formation".
I used to do some wood carving and still have to carving tools - that's next on the list - maybe I'll make a garden stool and carve the Phoenix Rising Out of the Ashes on the seat back!
I try to stay in the moment, like I did walking the Camino.
Thank you, @VNwalking , your words are always motivating and uplifting to the hearers, and I've always loved that song so it's nice to hear it this morning!Wow, Chris - I bet you are voicing the experiences of so many people right now.
And I love your attitude.
No false sunniness.
No Pollyanna cheerfulness.
Just the truth of the way things are right now.
And yeah. It's bad on so many levels. For everyone. It's an incredibly heavy time, and if you didn't feel distressed by that I would be worried about your humanity.
And you know what? Because you had the courage to own that funk, it won't own you.
The trick is not to deny it all, but not to feed it either.
I love what @Kiwi-family just said - it's very wise.
What has worked to keep the darkness at bay for me~
Not over-focusing on negativity is key. In this, meditation is essential, and exercise is a God-send. I'm finding long walks to be a particular life-saver. I was spending too much time here on my computer, reading the news and steadily getting mentally and physically heavier - and 'older,' in terms of strength and stamina. But that's reversed after a month of focused walking. Not only am I moving more, but there's less time to pore over the bed news. There's only so much any of us can take in.
A goal is a big help, and for the first time ever, I'm listening to stuff sometimes when I walk - mostly podcasts. It's a carrot, when the motivation is low. So I'm learning things too, which adds to the positive side as well.
Hang in there, amiga! Own the heaviness. Feel it. Let it be, kindly...and then feed your light side however you can. You have lots of that, waiting to emerge when the storm passes.
Thank you, @Robo! It's nice to see you here on the forum again and I appreciate you sharing a snippet of your life and thoughts!I can understand how you miss the Camino @Camino Chrissy . We all do.
Thankfully I have a lot to occupy me. I'm isolated at home with Pat trying to keep my business alive, that provides a livelihood for 80+ families. I have never been so busy in my life! Pivoting, marketing, taking part in every online event I can. That's why I haven't been on here in a while.
We'll be OK.
But my point is, that I have been distracted...... As a Camino Tragic I have never been away from the Forum so long!
At times like these, we can all sit and plan our Next Camino, and join the Zoom meetings (great idea) but to an extent I think that makes the 'separation' harder.
It's probably healthier to spend more time on other interests. Just think of all this time you have now to perfect a skill, learn a new skill, join another type of online group....... Get fit, get healthy, whatever......
I haven't been past my front gate in 4 weeks. Pat is Paranoid about the Virus and won't even let me walk down the road. Not that I have the time!
Three things to raise a smile................
ONE. This is definitely me! So I'm lucky
View attachment 74166
TWO
My back office staff have been in lock down in the Philippines for 4 weeks so far. and at least 2-3 more to go. Most are working from home.
But 10 of them.....As they had a long commute, decided when the lock down order came, they would live in the office! After all, it would only be a couple of weeks...... And Leo the Assistant Manager decided to move right in with them. And Yes he has a family.
They are not allowed outside the building by law. Food must be delivered to them.
We managed to rent a couple of bedrooms above the office for them.
They are safe.........and happy.
I guess it's all about perspective
They call it the Big Brother House
I just love and admire their Spirit.....
THREE
Don't stress @Camino Chrissy . The Camino is not going anywhere........ and to quote that wonderful wartime song of Vera Lynn. Who is still alive at 103!
I don't know where..
I don't know when..
But I know we'll meet some Sunny Day!
On the way to Santiago
Sorry, but "don't think too much" seems a little patronising....but I am sure you mean well.
Hahahaha, brilliant! (Jajajaja, que bueno!)Will this help at all?
View attachment 74140
@laineylainey, I'm glad that my words have helped a few folks, including you! Thanks for letting me know!Thanks @Camino Chrissy for the wonderful post and the equally wonderful replies. I haven't been on the forum for a few weeks. There was a posting some weeks ago about not using the word "devastated" and in my rage about the it, I realised that I too was becoming judgmental and it was time to do other things, so I unsubscribed from the weekly posting.
This morning my Camino buddy texted me to say that it has been announced somewhere in the Spanish news that the Spanish border will not reopen until October. My trip is in September and although I had already come to the conclusion that the trip wouldn't happen, I went into freefall. So I went onto the forum to see if the news could be confirmed and instead, thank God, Chrissy, I stumbled onto your wonderful post and now all of a sudden I don't feel so alone, because some of your words are mine as well.
Bless you and the others, especially @kirkie for the laugh out loud video!
I think you need to eat alot of ice cream and chocolate cake until you either your funk bursts or your body. Just keep thinking of how much you still have. Buen social distancing!Hello all,
I'm not having a very good day. It is 45°F, extremely windy and raining on and off so I've been cooped up inside, which has not helped my mood.
I was very disappointed, not "devastated", (oh no, not me), when my Spring camino to leave on April 19th was canceled. I'd been gone from home every spring for five years straight on these most special adventures in my retirement and they have each been the highlight of that particular year, surpassing all other planned vacations.
This time I was bringing two newbie family members and had everything planned out ahead of time. At first, I tried to accept this loss, but now I am starting to plummet. I feel sad, in a funk, flat, and unmotivated. Heck, I'm supposed to be nearly ten days into my walk in Spain as I type this. I still walk three miles most days on my local trail, but have no desire to increase the distance like I usually did with enthusiasm during the month before I was set to depart.
I have a really good, easy life at home and I do not live alone, but I miss getting together with my girlfriends for lunch out or to exercise with them. I'm sure all this self isolation is contributing to my melancholy feelings.
I want to say that I truly admire those of you who are participating on the varying threads by walking virtual caminos, zoom meetings, and even researching obscure locations in the movie "The Way". I wish I were enthused in the same way as many of you are, but I am not.
I guess I'm having a pity party today and feeling kind of "lost", and yes, I know I am acting spoiled and have a selfish outlook... maybe tomorrow will be better.
I do not usually share a depressed side of who I am, especially on a public forum, but oh well, today I am and you are my Camino family. Thankfully I am not normally given to despair like this. I hope my camino walking days will not be permanently over. I know there are others who most likely share some similar feelings, so know I am not the only one...we all are feeling some loss of varying degrees.
Thanks for listening.
Quinta da Burra, definitely!!@Camino Chrissy, you shouldn't feel alone, even if current circumstances all conspire to do that.
@alexwalker's comment made me think about where I might have been on the CP today if I had managed to start last Sunday. Given the time zone differences, I think I would be still sleeping, but where? Porto de Muge was my target. Did I get there? Or did I push on a bit last night? If I had stopped at Porto de Muge, would I have stayed in the delightful looking Quinta de Palmeiras or the more rustic Quinta da Burra? My budget might not have stretched to the former, but one can dream of crisp white sheets and the delights of a formal dining room, well trimmed gardens and a swimming pool.
Perhaps my budget did get the better of me, and I stayed at a rural family home, with the delights that might have also had. Views over the fields now turning green with new crops, the prospect of dinner in a warm kitchen. And perhaps something more substantial than toast, juice and coffee for breakfast, even if that means not making a really early start.
And today, I would have walked into Santarem. Right now at home it is threatening to rain, and the hills across the valley have a backdrop of clouds. I think how nice it would be to be walking with the sun warming up the day, taking advantage of the short day I had planned to get my pack off before it gets too hot, and explore, do a bit of laundry and find somewhere for dinner tonight. Would there be other pilgrims? Or is it true that the CP is remarkably quiet before reaching Porto?
And I keep myself optimistic that this will all happen, just not yet. Do I speculate about when? Of course, but more to ensure that I am prepared to take advantage of getting there once the Portuguese and Spanish Governments decide the risks are manageable, and the government here lifts restrictions on overseas travel. I find that the pundits here who do speculate about whether it might be this year or next rather annoying, that discussion unhelpful, and now ignore those threads where I can. I would rather spend my energy getting ready for this pilgrimage when the opportunity arises.
Stay safe.
ps - I am watching CP videos on YouTube, and plotting the journeys in Google Maps, but I think of that as preparation! I haven't resorted to mulling over whether Tom and his companions were walking towards or away from Santiago in any particular scene of The Way. I will leave that to others for the moment.
Yes, it has, Elle! Thanks for adding your positive vibes!Big virtual hug to you! We are in this together. We will survive. Let's grieve together! It's OK to do so. We are all suffering a loss. The cloud will lift eventually, for sure. I hope that just having shared has made you feel better!
Great advise, Terry, I appreciate your input. You are doing the right things...a bit at a time and it is then not so overwhelming. I do have plans to start a small vegetable garden in a couple of weeks since it's my first spring home in a very long time! However, I do not have a green thumb, but envy those who do!
I dont know you except for your forum posts but want to respond to the cry of your soul because it took courage to post. Its completely understandable to have such days as you are having. As my best friend and I tell each other when sharing our downsides: “well, we are only practically perfect” which is of course our humourous reference to Mary Poppins - practically perfect in every way. Who would want to be perfect, how boring that would be. It is the light and shade that makes life interesting and varied.Hello all,
I'm not having a very good day. It is 45°F, extremely windy and raining on and off so I've been cooped up inside, which has not helped my mood.
I was very disappointed, not "devastated", (oh no, not me), when my Spring camino to leave on April 19th was canceled. I'd been gone from home every spring for five years straight on these most special adventures in my retirement and they have each been the highlight of that particular year, surpassing all other planned vacations.
This time I was bringing two newbie family members and had everything planned out ahead of time. At first, I tried to accept this loss, but now I am starting to plummet. I feel sad, in a funk, flat, and unmotivated. Heck, I'm supposed to be nearly ten days into my walk in Spain as I type this. I still walk three miles most days on my local trail, but have no desire to increase the distance like I usually did with enthusiasm during the month before I was set to depart.
I have a really good, easy life at home and I do not live alone, but I miss getting together with my girlfriends for lunch out or to exercise with them. I'm sure all this self isolation is contributing to my melancholy feelings.
I want to say that I truly admire those of you who are participating on the varying threads by walking virtual caminos, zoom meetings, and even researching obscure locations in the movie "The Way". I wish I were enthused in the same way as many of you are, but I am not.
I guess I'm having a pity party today and feeling kind of "lost", and yes, I know I am acting spoiled and have a selfish outlook... maybe tomorrow will be better.
I do not usually share a depressed side of who I am, especially on a public forum, but oh well, today I am and you are my Camino family. Thankfully I am not normally given to despair like this. I hope my camino walking days will not be permanently over. I know there are others who most likely share some similar feelings, so know I am not the only one...we all are feeling some loss of varying degrees.
Thanks for listening.
|
Hola Chrissy, I felt the same way you did just two weeks ago. We were to leave May 13th to walk the Camino Norte with a friend from Spain. And then I discoveredHello all,
I'm not having a very good day. It is 45°F, extremely windy and raining on and off so I've been cooped up inside, which has not helped my mood.
I was very disappointed, not "devastated", (oh no, not me), when my Spring camino to leave on April 19th was canceled. I'd been gone from home every spring for five years straight on these most special adventures in my retirement and they have each been the highlight of that particular year, surpassing all other planned vacations.
This time I was bringing two newbie family members and had everything planned out ahead of time. At first, I tried to accept this loss, but now I am starting to plummet. I feel sad, in a funk, flat, and unmotivated. Heck, I'm supposed to be nearly ten days into my walk in Spain as I type this. I still walk three miles most days on my local trail, but have no desire to increase the distance like I usually did with enthusiasm during the month before I was set to depart.
I have a really good, easy life at home and I do not live alone, but I miss getting together with my girlfriends for lunch out or to exercise with them. I'm sure all this self isolation is contributing to my melancholy feelings.
I want to say that I truly admire those of you who are participating on the varying threads by walking virtual caminos, zoom meetings, and even researching obscure locations in the movie "The Way". I wish I were enthused in the same way as many of you are, but I am not.
I guess I'm having a pity party today and feeling kind of "lost", and yes, I know I am acting spoiled and have a selfish outlook... maybe tomorrow will be better.
I do not usually share a depressed side of who I am, especially on a public forum, but oh well, today I am and you are my Camino family. Thankfully I am not normally given to despair like this. I hope my camino walking days will not be permanently over. I know there are others who most likely share some similar feelings, so know I am not the only one...we all are feeling some loss of varying degrees.
Thanks for listening.
I would have been starting the Invierno this weekend but have put it back until next year so am also feeling a bit down but hey the Sun is shining and Spring is in the air so it’s not all bad... and only 366 days to go now until my next Camino!!Hello all,
I'm not having a very good day. It is 45°F, extremely windy and raining on and off so I've been cooped up inside, which has not helped my mood.
I was very disappointed, not "devastated", (oh no, not me), when my Spring camino to leave on April 19th was canceled. I'd been gone from home every spring for five years straight on these most special adventures in my retirement and they have each been the highlight of that particular year, surpassing all other planned vacations.
This time I was bringing two newbie family members and had everything planned out ahead of time. At first, I tried to accept this loss, but now I am starting to plummet. I feel sad, in a funk, flat, and unmotivated. Heck, I'm supposed to be nearly ten days into my walk in Spain as I type this. I still walk three miles most days on my local trail, but have no desire to increase the distance like I usually did with enthusiasm during the month before I was set to depart.
I have a really good, easy life at home and I do not live alone, but I miss getting together with my girlfriends for lunch out or to exercise with them. I'm sure all this self isolation is contributing to my melancholy feelings.
I want to say that I truly admire those of you who are participating on the varying threads by walking virtual caminos, zoom meetings, and even researching obscure locations in the movie "The Way". I wish I were enthused in the same way as many of you are, but I am not.
I guess I'm having a pity party today and feeling kind of "lost", and yes, I know I am acting spoiled and have a selfish outlook... maybe tomorrow will be better.
I do not usually share a depressed side of who I am, especially on a public forum, but oh well, today I am and you are my Camino family. Thankfully I am not normally given to despair like this. I hope my camino walking days will not be permanently over. I know there are others who most likely share some similar feelings, so know I am not the only one...we all are feeling some loss of varying degrees.
Thanks for listening.
Woouwww, this is wonderfulWill this help at all?
View attachment 74140
Just think: Not every day is good, but there is something good in every dayHello all,
I'm not having a very good day. It is 45°F, extremely windy and raining on and off so I've been cooped up inside, which has not helped my mood.
I was very disappointed, not "devastated", (oh no, not me), when my Spring camino to leave on April 19th was canceled. I'd been gone from home every spring for five years straight on these most special adventures in my retirement and they have each been the highlight of that particular year, surpassing all other planned vacations.
This time I was bringing two newbie family members and had everything planned out ahead of time. At first, I tried to accept this loss, but now I am starting to plummet. I feel sad, in a funk, flat, and unmotivated. Heck, I'm supposed to be nearly ten days into my walk in Spain as I type this. I still walk three miles most days on my local trail, but have no desire to increase the distance like I usually did with enthusiasm during the month before I was set to depart.
I have a really good, easy life at home and I do not live alone, but I miss getting together with my girlfriends for lunch out or to exercise with them. I'm sure all this self isolation is contributing to my melancholy feelings.
I want to say that I truly admire those of you who are participating on the varying threads by walking virtual caminos, zoom meetings, and even researching obscure locations in the movie "The Way". I wish I were enthused in the same way as many of you are, but I am not.
I guess I'm having a pity party today and feeling kind of "lost", and yes, I know I am acting spoiled and have a selfish outlook... maybe tomorrow will be better.
I do not usually share a depressed side of who I am, especially on a public forum, but oh well, today I am and you are my Camino family. Thankfully I am not normally given to despair like this. I hope my camino walking days will not be permanently over. I know there are others who most likely share some similar feelings, so know I am not the only one...we all are feeling some loss of varying degrees.
Thanks for listening.
I loved the poem you shared, you being so upbeat, and the words of Mary Poppins..."practically perfect"!I dont know you except for your forum posts but want to respond to the cry of your soul because it took courage to post. Its completely understandable to have such days as you are having. As my best friend and I tell each other when sharing our downsides: “well, we are only practically perfect” which is of course our humourous reference to Mary Poppins - practically perfect in every way. Who would want to be perfect, how boring that would be. It is the light and shade that makes life interesting and varied.
We should have been arriving in Seville today so I have been thinking of that but console myself that there will be another time, and maybe even a completely different walk. I have read Wild, about the pacific crest trail, whilst in lockdown and that has got me considering other walks. We never know what the outcome of missing something may be, this hiatus could allow us time to open up our eyes to other possibilities we hadn’t even thought about. I think other replies about setting small daily goals are right, it helps a sense of achievement, progress and gives structure. I try and keep a bit of a diary just about small stuff - weather, what i am reading, how i feel, what i have done. I do yoga most mornings and monday to friday do a joe wicks p.e session on you tube - its meant for kids but he is enthusiastic, motivational and fun and does daily ‘spot the difference’ and now a quiz as well, plus fancy dress fridays. Its childish fun but its good to have time off from being a boring anxiety ridden adult and you definetly feel better after, though i cant physically do exactly what he does but i have noticed small improvements which cheers me no end. And i dont always get the quiz answers right!!
Growing things from seed has been enormously satisfying too, something i havent done in years. Its great watching them come up and develop - like fast track parenting but without the hard work and answering back. And its true, you dont need special skills, just Soil/compost.
As Gandalf says in LOTR we have to choose what to do with the time that is given us. Many of us now have unexpected time to use differently than we might have wished but I am sure when this sadness you feel has passed, and it will, you will find many positives in your personal resource kit, or you could say, in your personal backpack. Its amazing what you can find in there that weighs nothing but is incredibly useful.
This poem I will add is on uk tv frequently as a kind of BBC advert, but I find it strangely comforting. Keep going camino chrissy, you have all you need within you
Don’t You Quit by
John Greenleaf Whittier
When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is strange with its twists and turns
As every one of us sometimes learns
And many a failure comes about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow—
You may succeed with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out—
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell just how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit—
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.
@catheriam, what an amusing, clever writer you are! So glad you have shared with all of us!"Thanne longen folk to goon on pilrymagges .." Chaucer
Here we are, painting our doors, when we would much rather be walking through the door of an airplane to Spain, not leaning against our too-familiar kitchen door, shaking in tears, wearied, overwhelmed for one moment or many moments, awash to our core, our bones, with the-longing-which-cannot-be-asuaged. To shake our Osprey feathers (not that mine were ever packed that light.). Our Aprille iis almost over, that dreamed of exultant first step forward towards Santiago has been arrested, yanked to a half in mid-flight. How long o dear St James, how long?
Wnhatever has been our longest, rock-strewn, blister-pinched, mesata parched, aluburge snored, "out of coffee?!", aaargh, brought to our knees day.
These are the days after that.
Yes, only a few days to go...let the countdown begin!I would have been starting the Invierno this weekend but have put it back until next year so am also feeling a bit down but hey the Sun is shining and Spring is in the air so it’s not all bad... and only 366 days to go now until my next Camino!!
Nice to hear your pessimism has now turned into optimism for you! It would be great to meet you, Andrea...I love meeting forum members!Hi Chrissy, Thanks for posting your feelings because they are a reality of what most of us have or are probably experiencing at some time during this pandemic. Covid-19 felt like the authoritarian parent that now was controlling my life. Life stopped being fun and I felt the fear and anxiety percolating in my gut because there were so many unknowns and so many people were hurting. I'm a nurse and working became a giant stress-fest. For a couple of days I wallowed in it. I embraced it. I wore it proudly on my chest as a sign that I was ticked off and miserable. I was afraid of what I couldn't control and understand. I withdrew into myself into such a tight ball that my husband could have swept me up and out the door when he was cleaning and he wouldn't even have seen me. That mushy, grey lump that was rolling down the driveway toward the ditch could have been me and no one would have known it. And then, the optimist in me and and my faith kicked me in the rear and they said "what the hell". I had a good argument with God, got it all out of my system and I'm back. My husband swept the kitchen the other day and all I felt was gratitude because I knew that he would probably start vacuuming as well. I'm looking forward to meeting you one day in Santiago - we were so close last year!
I always enjoy your posts, David, and this one ranks right up at the top with all your others!Camino Chrissy, I don't think you are the only one that current crisis and isolation is getting down. I think, however, your tag line "Take one step forward...then keep on walking." contains words to live by. Sometimes those words can be followed more literally, sometimes more metaphorically, walking into the future. If you just keep going eventually you will get there. If we all just keep going, eventually we will get to the point where the Camino is again open to us. It may be different in some ways. There were plenty of differences between the Camino in 1989 and 2016. but they were both equally the Camino. And whatever emerges from the current situation and is waiting for us will be, too. We've just got to get there.
Was not having a great day myself with the rain and cold. Did not seem so bad while we in Ireland were having the best spring weather ever but plummet is indeed a good word. So I dug out a special jigsaw my daughter had made for me a while ago and I never got around to starting. It is of my book covers and two pics from the camino. One from 2013 and one from 2016 and here it is. What to do now its finished is a problem for tomorrowHello all,
I'm not having a very good day. It is 45°F, extremely windy and raining on and off so I've been cooped up inside, which has not helped my mood.
I was very disappointed, not "devastated", (oh no, not me), when my Spring camino to leave on April 19th was canceled. I'd been gone from home every spring for five years straight on these most special adventures in my retirement and they have each been the highlight of that particular year, surpassing all other planned vacations.
This time I was bringing two newbie family members and had everything planned out ahead of time. At first, I tried to accept this loss, but now I am starting to plummet. I feel sad, in a funk, flat, and unmotivated. Heck, I'm supposed to be nearly ten days into my walk in Spain as I type this. I still walk three miles most days on my local trail, but have no desire to increase the distance like I usually did with enthusiasm during the month before I was set to depart.
I have a really good, easy life at home and I do not live alone, but I miss getting together with my girlfriends for lunch out or to exercise with them. I'm sure all this self isolation is contributing to my melancholy feelings.
I want to say that I truly admire those of you who are participating on the varying threads by walking virtual caminos, zoom meetings, and even researching obscure locations in the movie "The Way". I wish I were enthused in the same way as many of you are, but I am not.
I guess I'm having a pity party today and feeling kind of "lost", and yes, I know I am acting spoiled and have a selfish outlook... maybe tomorrow will be better.
I do not usually share a depressed side of who I am, especially on a public forum, but oh well, today I am and you are my Camino family. Thankfully I am not normally given to despair like this. I hope my camino walking days will not be permanently over. I know there are others who most likely share some similar feelings, so know I am not the only one...we all are feeling some loss of varying degrees.
Thanks for listening.
What a lovely jigsaw puzzle, and apparently you finished it in record time! I'd still be looking for the border pieces.Was not having a great day myself with the rain and cold. Did not seem so bad while we in Ireland were having the best spring weather ever but plummet is indeed a good word. So I dug out a special jigsaw my daughter had made for me a while ago and I never got around to starting. It is off my book covers and two pics from the camino. One from 2013 and one from 2016 and here it is. What to do now its finished is a problem for tomorrow
Annie, your words make me feel embarrassed for what I've been feeling after all you have been through yourself! I've kept up on your blog so have read and "seen"!Awww Chrissy, I just saw this.
I think a lot of us absolutely understand what you're feeling.
This pandemic sucks!
I don't have anything profound to say that hasn't already been said,
except "HOORAY! YOU WOKE UP ALIVE!"
I tell myself that every morning
And I AM feeling in my heart that there is light at the end of the tunnel!
Hang in there!
We will be back on the Camino soon!
Big hugs!
Thank you! I’ll replay this more than once!!Will this help at all?
View attachment 74140
What a truly beautiful video, @Michelle! Yes, comforting to me, and I'm sure to anyone else who takes the time to watch and listen to the powerful words.This is not specifically Camino related, but it might still help. I know it’s comforting to me...
Hello all,
I'm not having a very good day. It is 45°F, extremely windy and raining on and off so I've been cooped up inside, which has not helped my mood.
I was very disappointed, not "devastated", (oh no, not me), when my Spring camino to leave on April 19th was canceled. I'd been gone from home every spring for five years straight on these most special adventures in my retirement and they have each been the highlight of that particular year, surpassing all other planned vacations.
This time I was bringing two newbie family members and had everything planned out ahead of time. At first, I tried to accept this loss, but now I am starting to plummet. I feel sad, in a funk, flat, and unmotivated. Heck, I'm supposed to be nearly ten days into my walk in Spain as I type this. I still walk three miles most days on my local trail, but have no desire to increase the distance like I usually did with enthusiasm during the month before I was set to depart.
I have a really good, easy life at home and I do not live alone, but I miss getting together with my girlfriends for lunch out or to exercise with them. I'm sure all this self isolation is contributing to my melancholy feelings.
I want to say that I truly admire those of you who are participating on the varying threads by walking virtual caminos, zoom meetings, and even researching obscure locations in the movie "The Way". I wish I were enthused in the same way as many of you are, but I am not.
I guess I'm having a pity party today and feeling kind of "lost", and yes, I know I am acting spoiled and have a selfish outlook... maybe tomorrow will be better.
I do not usually share a depressed side of who I am, especially on a public forum, but oh well, today I am and you are my Camino family. Thankfully I am not normally given to despair like this. I hope my camino walking days will not be permanently over. I know there are others who most likely share some similar feelings, so know I am not the only one...we all are feeling some loss of varying degrees.
Thanks for listening.
Hi, Faith!Some days are just rough. I've been going through a few days of being extremely irritated by the stupidest things! I finally realized that since the kids have been home, I've been surrounded by MUCH more noise, constantly, than I'm used to. The lack of quiet has bothered me more than I was aware of, or thought about. I think our bodies are all making adjustments, or reacting to changes in our environment, perhaps more than we knew. Some days feel like survival mode, and some days are just enjoyable and an "unexpected Sabbath." But I think there is some grieving to be done, especially for those members who did have Camino journeys planned and were so looking forward to being out on the trail. The Camino really is special, and offers us something that most of us don't find in our regular lives, and it's hard to replace that.
Anyway, all that to say, Hang in there, Chris! Big hugs to you. They say a 20-second hug releases all sorts of endorphins, so hope you can get a good solid hug today from someone you live with❤
EDIT: I just saw you posted the OP yesterday. Hope today was better!
I was very disappointed, not "devastated"
I hope not to re-activate the sensitivity about this post, but I was one of those who thought the word was overused. However, in retrospect, I must admit that it is very appropriate. I didn't appreciate or understand it at the time. I'm sorry for my contribution to that debate.There was a posting some weeks ago about not using the word "devastated"
Well, we are all different. Mine was said "tongue in cheek", @C clearly, on my thread here. I did feel devastated, but from my own loss, not in comparison to those with the virus or loss of income due to the virus.I hope not to re-activate the sensitivity about this post, but I was one of those who thought the word was overused. However, in retrospect, I must admit that it is very appropriate. I didn't appreciate or understand it at the time. I'm sorry for my contribution to that debate.
I'm glad to see you back, @laineylainey!
I still walk three miles most days on my local trail...
Thanks for listening.
Hello all,
I'm not having a very good day. It is 45°F, extremely windy and raining on and off so I've been cooped up inside, which has not helped my mood.
I was very disappointed, not "devastated", (oh no, not me), when my Spring camino to leave on April 19th was canceled. I'd been gone from home every spring for five years straight on these most special adventures in my retirement and they have each been the highlight of that particular year, surpassing all other planned vacations.
This time I was bringing two newbie family members and had everything planned out ahead of time. At first, I tried to accept this loss, but now I am starting to plummet. I feel sad, in a funk, flat, and unmotivated. Heck, I'm supposed to be nearly ten days into my walk in Spain as I type this. I still walk three miles most days on my local trail, but have no desire to increase the distance like I usually did with enthusiasm during the month before I was set to depart.
I have a really good, easy life at home and I do not live alone, but I miss getting together with my girlfriends for lunch out or to exercise with them. I'm sure all this self isolation is contributing to my melancholy feelings.
I want to say that I truly admire those of you who are participating on the varying threads by walking virtual caminos, zoom meetings, and even researching obscure locations in the movie "The Way". I wish I were enthused in the same way as many of you are, but I am not.
I guess I'm having a pity party today and feeling kind of "lost", and yes, I know I am acting spoiled and have a selfish outlook... maybe tomorrow will be better.
I do not usually share a depressed side of who I am, especially on a public forum, but oh well, today I am and you are my Camino family. Thankfully I am not normally given to despair like this. I hope my camino walking days will not be permanently over. I know there are others who most likely share some similar feelings, so know I am not the only one...we all are feeling some loss of varying degrees.
Thanks for listening.
Yes, I knew thatMine was said "tongue in cheek", @C clearly, on my thread here.
Thank you for sharing how life is for you during this lockdown phase in Barcelona, your gratefulness for what you still have, and your hope for the future. I am glad you are being encouraged by all the lovely responses just as I have been. I appreciate the time forum members have taken to share their hearts in the many replies offered.I must confess that I am envious of even your three mile daily walk! Here in Barcelona we are now on day 47 of the lockdown and I am now feeling like a caged animal. Other than the rare walk to the pharmacy or around the corner to the supermarket, I have not had a walk for a long while as it goes against the current restrictions (unless you happen to be a dog owner). It has been a challenge for sure! There is some talk of easing the restrictions in the coming days and allowing people to go out for a walk, within 1 km of where they live. Being used to walking an average of 25 to 30 km per day while on the Camino, walking 1 km simply will not satisfy my yearning. However, it will be an improvement over no outdoor walking.
I try to remain grateful that I have my health, a place to sleep, plenty of nutritious food and my beloved husband. In addition, being retired, I am thankful that I am not one of the many, many people who have now lost their jobs or are likely to do so once the current restrictions are eased.
Gone are the carefree days of walking the Camino. With all that has happened, I am unsure wether there will again come a time when it will be possible to again capture the joy of walking these wonderful routes. If/when this opportunity presents itself again, you can be sure that I will be one of the first to be out there walking.
I have been cheered to read the many positive replies to the original post. It has been good for me to take note of how others maintain their happiness (and sanity) during these trying times. Thank you to all!
Warning - don’t believe everything @VNwalking says <big wink>Oh, and Chris?
One guaranteed Chaser of Shadows: do you have any popcorn in the house? Make a huge pot of popcorn, season it however you like, and eat it all yourself. It's kind of hard not to smile after that, and it takes no skill at all.
(I'm only sort of joking— it actually does work!)
You have lots of company. This would have been out 5th consecutive one.Hello all,
I'm not having a very good day. It is 45°F, extremely windy and raining on and off so I've been cooped up inside, which has not helped my mood.
I was very disappointed, not "devastated", (oh no, not me), when my Spring camino to leave on April 19th was canceled. I'd been gone from home every spring for five years straight on these most special adventures in my retirement and they have each been the highlight of that particular year, surpassing all other planned vacations.
This time I was bringing two newbie family members and had everything planned out ahead of time. At first, I tried to accept this loss, but now I am starting to plummet. I feel sad, in a funk, flat, and unmotivated. Heck, I'm supposed to be nearly ten days into my walk in Spain as I type this. I still walk three miles most days on my local trail, but have no desire to increase the distance like I usually did with enthusiasm during the month before I was set to depart.
I have a really good, easy life at home and I do not live alone, but I miss getting together with my girlfriends for lunch out or to exercise with them. I'm sure all this self isolation is contributing to my melancholy feelings.
I want to say that I truly admire those of you who are participating on the varying threads by walking virtual caminos, zoom meetings, and even researching obscure locations in the movie "The Way". I wish I were enthused in the same way as many of you are, but I am not.
I guess I'm having a pity party today and feeling kind of "lost", and yes, I know I am acting spoiled and have a selfish outlook... maybe tomorrow will be better.
I do not usually share a depressed side of who I am, especially on a public forum, but oh well, today I am and you are my Camino family. Thankfully I am not normally given to despair like this. I hope my camino walking days will not be permanently over. I know there are others who most likely share some similar feelings, so know I am not the only one...we all are feeling some loss of varying degrees.
Thanks for listening.
Hi @AlbertagirlI am changing with this period of solitude. As an introvert, being alone is often as much a relief as anything. But now I am too busy, and too irritable. I am learning new things, because I have to. But I don't have to like it. When things go wrong, I try hard for a long time to sort them out. I spent most of the day today installing new hardware for my computer, because the company that sold it to me would only let their technician sit in the car and advise me over the telephone how to set it up. This is not my thing. But I was not depressed at the hours of hopeless muddling. Mostly, I was annoyed, irritated, and finally ready to explode. But I did finally get it done, more or less. I actually had to give up on completing the task to perfection. I tend to lose my temper these days, and recover it only slowly. But I don't get depressed. just mad at the world. I blush to admit it, but I rather like the change. and I do still try to be kind, when I cool down.
I am disappointed for each and every poster on this thread for the Caminos postponed this year. I especially feel for those of you who have had to give up (for now) the dream of walking your very first Camino with the anticipation and allure of a new experience that was waiting to unfold.Was to start today a long planned first Camino, and from the tsunami of wonderful comments which has lifted the spirits to your brave words felt by so many, I just keep thinking the Camino is still there and pray that we all stay safe and well and soon to be on it.
One guaranteed Chaser of Shadows: do you have any popcorn in the house? Make a huge pot of popcorn, season it however you like, and eat it all yourself. It's kind of hard not to smile after that
yes i am hearing you and normally i myself are pretty kind by nature but to you i say " get your s.. together " you are FREE happy and on a holiday that has not gone as planned ... soooooo pull up your pretty boot straps as you have done your whole life and GET IT TOGETHER .... there is a message there . go find it xx alll the best Georgina Sydney Austr bein caminoHello all,
I'm not having a very good day. It is 45°F, extremely windy and raining on and off so I've been cooped up inside, which has not helped my mood.
I was very disappointed, not "devastated", (oh no, not me), when my Spring camino to leave on April 19th was canceled. I'd been gone from home every spring for five years straight on these most special adventures in my retirement and they have each been the highlight of that particular year, surpassing all other planned vacations.
This time I was bringing two newbie family members and had everything planned out ahead of time. At first, I tried to accept this loss, but now I am starting to plummet. I feel sad, in a funk, flat, and unmotivated. Heck, I'm supposed to be nearly ten days into my walk in Spain as I type this. I still walk three miles most days on my local trail, but have no desire to increase the distance like I usually did with enthusiasm during the month before I was set to depart.
I have a really good, easy life at home and I do not live alone, but I miss getting together with my girlfriends for lunch out or to exercise with them. I'm sure all this self isolation is contributing to my melancholy feelings.
I want to say that I truly admire those of you who are participating on the varying threads by walking virtual caminos, zoom meetings, and even researching obscure locations in the movie "The Way". I wish I were enthused in the same way as many of you are, but I am not.
I guess I'm having a pity party today and feeling kind of "lost", and yes, I know I am acting spoiled and have a selfish outlook... maybe tomorrow will be better.
I do not usually share a depressed side of who I am, especially on a public forum, but oh well, today I am and you are my Camino family. Thankfully I am not normally given to despair like this. I hope my camino walking days will not be permanently over. I know there are others who most likely share some similar feelings, so know I am not the only one...we all are feeling some loss of varying degrees.
Thanks for listening.
I hear you loud and clear...your words are as true as mine are. That said, we are all different and do not necessarily process our joys or weaknesses in the same way. I appreciate your input.yes i am hearing you and normally i myself are pretty kind by nature but to you i say " get your s.. together " you are FREE happy and on a holiday that has not gone as planned ... soooooo pull up your pretty boot straps as you have done your whole life and GET IT TOGETHER .... there is a message there . go find it xx alll the best Georgina Sydney Austr bein camino
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