Good morning ladies and gentlemen,
As you can undoubtedly tell from my crispy clean profile and history, I am new to the forum and to the Camino. First, a little backstory.
Le Drama
My family has run a jewelry store for the past 34 years and I have been raised in the business as soon as I could walk. But ever since I was little, I had always wanted to travel and see the world. And travel travel, not four/five star hoteling it as my sister preferred in the US. She would squick if her music wasn't playing in a car somewhere, where I would be thrilled to ride the back of a chicken bus sort of mentality. I buried myself in old National Geographics, browse the internet for sights around the world. It became an addiction I could never break, a dream I could only dream. So, I saved my pennies, because my parents certainly didn't pay me for the family business. In high school I thought I had my chance; there was a class trip to Italy. It would be a start, a small one, but what a great start, right? The entire class would go, but my parents would only let me if I paid for it myself. So paid I did: I took on extra work at nights busing tables at a local restaurant and scooping ice cream. $4000 for ten days. I paid the cost in full.
So when suspicious lumps that screamed lymphoma were discovered in my father's lungs, I stayed and covered him in the business while he went to the hospital. And for those eight days in class, I sat in an empty classroom. And of course people came back with stories and pictures, and so forth and I could just watch. End story: he didn't have Lymphoma, but instead was diagnosed with Sarcoidosis. But okay, so this year was non-refundable, but there was always senior year to go, right?
Guess what happened Senior year? Last minute medical emergency with my father, Diabetes, and the money wasted again.
In college for accounting, which I paid for myself, he started downsizing the business in terms of employees, relying on his kids more and more. The idea of taking a summer trip anywhere, or even socializing on campus, was unthinkable because on every day off and after class my butt was in that store working. In the summer, I work 7 days a week from 7:30 in the morning to 11:00 PM or later, because thats when the money happens. Because if it wasn't? My father was by himself in a family business jewelry store and if it happened, it would be on my head.
I finally graduate, and I graduate debt free, so I think I'll take a GAP year. Backpack somewhere. Do something I want.
Nope. Family has BIG plans on expanding into watchmaking, so guess who gets guilted/bullied into signing away two years of his life into schooling for watchmaking with Rolex. My other siblings have their schooling, so of course its me. Benefits: the schooling is free, but extremely rigorous. Only 14 students accepted, only 7 passed at the end of those two years. I move to literally the middle of nowhere, farmville. I'm the youngest in the class by about a decade. I kill myself emotionally and physically just to make the cut, because the amount of skill and knowledge required for watchmaking at that calibre is pretty insane. The entire time, my parents keep going on and on about what they want to do with the lines theyre gonna get, and how the buisiness is gonna improve, and how I'll be able to write my own ticket, etc. etc. etc.
So I finish. I pass. I come back and all those dreams and promises? Once finding out the amount of equipment and initial purchases watchmaking ACTUALLY requires, they no longer want anything to do with it. But hey, I should get some sort of admiration or respect from my family, right? I've always done everything I was ever asked, always for the family, and I've actually achieved something!
I think you know the answer. I spend two years of my life doing something I absolutely hated, cutting myself off socially to achieve, because they wanted this, only to come back... and what feels like almost borderline abuse. The buisiness is smaller than ever, my father can only yell at me and my siblings because its not how HE wants it (side note: this isn't the first time. When I was 14, he invested in a $15,000 engraving machine and then expected me to learn how to do it as well as the engraver he worked with for 20 years. And when I wasn't able to do it as good after only a month of trying to figure it out, he would smash the glass I was engraving infront of me and tell me it was worthless, or what a disgrace it was. This continued for three years until he wrote off the entire thing as a loss), my mother is trying to balance a sick husband who won't even try to watch his weight or do anything to change his life, and my other sibling are all young and in school. I'm literally a master watchmaker, certified, and the man writes off anything I have to say about what we work on as worthless, and that he knows better because he's been doing it longer. Even though he butchers everything he works on. I can't do anything, because its his business, and technically, his home so he could kick me out at any moment. I feel... trapped.
We live on an incredible planet, and most people only see a fraction of one percent of it in their lives. There HAS to be something more to my life than the seven-to-nine rat race and endless bills. There has to be something more than this. I look at my other classmates, and see them in relationships, or married, or happy, or pursuing their dreams, or going on vacation. They have stories to tell. I've never even been on a family camping trip, let alone a vacation.
I'm 24, single, and the only person my age for ten miles. I live somebody else's dream. There has to be more than THIS. Otherwise, what's the point?
The Calling
We're a shore community so alot of what we sell is beach related. Shells, conchs, mermaids. That sort of thing. This august, a pair of elderly ladies came in, and initially, I thought it was the most strenuous sale of the year. Fake smile for three hours as they chirp over scallop charms that was less than $100 bucks, and pretend to be nice because oh my god they were wasting my time like nothing else. Just buy or don't buy the damn charm, its not like I'm not missing other sales as people walk out because I'm helping you. Oh wait, I AM.
My God, how am I so happy I stayed with those women. If I saw them now, I would run up and give them the biggest possible hug. As I wrote up their purchase, they smiled and apologized for taking so long. And explained why:
They were nuns. A pair of sisters, age 75 and 77. They had very little, and they weren't allowed to wear any sort of jewelry that wasn't religious. The scallop was an exception because they had just finished a pilgrimage, and the scallop was a sign of the pilgrimage. Something called the Camino de Santiago. They were getting the charm because they had just walked the Camino for the THIRD time.
I had no frame, no reference for what they were even talking about. They urged me to look it up. When they left, I went back to my life. The next day, and I was entering in the data for their receipt... it jogged my memory of them. So I googled it.
It become an obsession since then. I have never wanted anything so hard in my entire life. Something that I actually wanted. Something that was actually in reach... all I had to do was DO it. This journey haunts my every waking moment. I dream of the path through the Pyrenees, of the long road leading to that church. People say things happen for reason... I think it nothing short of divine intervention that those Nuns came to my store when they did.
The PLEA
I've watched this forum long enough to feel like I needed to take the next step. I've done alot of my own research, but honestly... so many question are left unanswered. About EVERYTHING. I've read so many stories and first hand experiences, but so much remain unknown. How do I start? What can I truly expect? How ready am I, and what do I need to do to get ready? Etc. etc. etc.
So this is my plea to you. Pilgrims young and old, experienced and novice. I want to join you on the road. I ask for nothing from you except your knowledge. This is my journey to take, and I expect nobody but me to make it happen.
I just need a path. I need answers. I need advice. I need you to work with me to make this happen. Its claimed that the Camino provides and you will find what you're searching for at the end of it. Give me this chance.
My hope is to start walking from Le Puy to Saint-Jean-Pied-de-Port and then onto the French Way straight to Santiago. Any advice is appreciated.
Please... let me follow the shells with you.
As you can undoubtedly tell from my crispy clean profile and history, I am new to the forum and to the Camino. First, a little backstory.
Le Drama
My family has run a jewelry store for the past 34 years and I have been raised in the business as soon as I could walk. But ever since I was little, I had always wanted to travel and see the world. And travel travel, not four/five star hoteling it as my sister preferred in the US. She would squick if her music wasn't playing in a car somewhere, where I would be thrilled to ride the back of a chicken bus sort of mentality. I buried myself in old National Geographics, browse the internet for sights around the world. It became an addiction I could never break, a dream I could only dream. So, I saved my pennies, because my parents certainly didn't pay me for the family business. In high school I thought I had my chance; there was a class trip to Italy. It would be a start, a small one, but what a great start, right? The entire class would go, but my parents would only let me if I paid for it myself. So paid I did: I took on extra work at nights busing tables at a local restaurant and scooping ice cream. $4000 for ten days. I paid the cost in full.
So when suspicious lumps that screamed lymphoma were discovered in my father's lungs, I stayed and covered him in the business while he went to the hospital. And for those eight days in class, I sat in an empty classroom. And of course people came back with stories and pictures, and so forth and I could just watch. End story: he didn't have Lymphoma, but instead was diagnosed with Sarcoidosis. But okay, so this year was non-refundable, but there was always senior year to go, right?
Guess what happened Senior year? Last minute medical emergency with my father, Diabetes, and the money wasted again.
In college for accounting, which I paid for myself, he started downsizing the business in terms of employees, relying on his kids more and more. The idea of taking a summer trip anywhere, or even socializing on campus, was unthinkable because on every day off and after class my butt was in that store working. In the summer, I work 7 days a week from 7:30 in the morning to 11:00 PM or later, because thats when the money happens. Because if it wasn't? My father was by himself in a family business jewelry store and if it happened, it would be on my head.
I finally graduate, and I graduate debt free, so I think I'll take a GAP year. Backpack somewhere. Do something I want.
Nope. Family has BIG plans on expanding into watchmaking, so guess who gets guilted/bullied into signing away two years of his life into schooling for watchmaking with Rolex. My other siblings have their schooling, so of course its me. Benefits: the schooling is free, but extremely rigorous. Only 14 students accepted, only 7 passed at the end of those two years. I move to literally the middle of nowhere, farmville. I'm the youngest in the class by about a decade. I kill myself emotionally and physically just to make the cut, because the amount of skill and knowledge required for watchmaking at that calibre is pretty insane. The entire time, my parents keep going on and on about what they want to do with the lines theyre gonna get, and how the buisiness is gonna improve, and how I'll be able to write my own ticket, etc. etc. etc.
So I finish. I pass. I come back and all those dreams and promises? Once finding out the amount of equipment and initial purchases watchmaking ACTUALLY requires, they no longer want anything to do with it. But hey, I should get some sort of admiration or respect from my family, right? I've always done everything I was ever asked, always for the family, and I've actually achieved something!
I think you know the answer. I spend two years of my life doing something I absolutely hated, cutting myself off socially to achieve, because they wanted this, only to come back... and what feels like almost borderline abuse. The buisiness is smaller than ever, my father can only yell at me and my siblings because its not how HE wants it (side note: this isn't the first time. When I was 14, he invested in a $15,000 engraving machine and then expected me to learn how to do it as well as the engraver he worked with for 20 years. And when I wasn't able to do it as good after only a month of trying to figure it out, he would smash the glass I was engraving infront of me and tell me it was worthless, or what a disgrace it was. This continued for three years until he wrote off the entire thing as a loss), my mother is trying to balance a sick husband who won't even try to watch his weight or do anything to change his life, and my other sibling are all young and in school. I'm literally a master watchmaker, certified, and the man writes off anything I have to say about what we work on as worthless, and that he knows better because he's been doing it longer. Even though he butchers everything he works on. I can't do anything, because its his business, and technically, his home so he could kick me out at any moment. I feel... trapped.
We live on an incredible planet, and most people only see a fraction of one percent of it in their lives. There HAS to be something more to my life than the seven-to-nine rat race and endless bills. There has to be something more than this. I look at my other classmates, and see them in relationships, or married, or happy, or pursuing their dreams, or going on vacation. They have stories to tell. I've never even been on a family camping trip, let alone a vacation.
I'm 24, single, and the only person my age for ten miles. I live somebody else's dream. There has to be more than THIS. Otherwise, what's the point?
The Calling
We're a shore community so alot of what we sell is beach related. Shells, conchs, mermaids. That sort of thing. This august, a pair of elderly ladies came in, and initially, I thought it was the most strenuous sale of the year. Fake smile for three hours as they chirp over scallop charms that was less than $100 bucks, and pretend to be nice because oh my god they were wasting my time like nothing else. Just buy or don't buy the damn charm, its not like I'm not missing other sales as people walk out because I'm helping you. Oh wait, I AM.
My God, how am I so happy I stayed with those women. If I saw them now, I would run up and give them the biggest possible hug. As I wrote up their purchase, they smiled and apologized for taking so long. And explained why:
They were nuns. A pair of sisters, age 75 and 77. They had very little, and they weren't allowed to wear any sort of jewelry that wasn't religious. The scallop was an exception because they had just finished a pilgrimage, and the scallop was a sign of the pilgrimage. Something called the Camino de Santiago. They were getting the charm because they had just walked the Camino for the THIRD time.
I had no frame, no reference for what they were even talking about. They urged me to look it up. When they left, I went back to my life. The next day, and I was entering in the data for their receipt... it jogged my memory of them. So I googled it.
It become an obsession since then. I have never wanted anything so hard in my entire life. Something that I actually wanted. Something that was actually in reach... all I had to do was DO it. This journey haunts my every waking moment. I dream of the path through the Pyrenees, of the long road leading to that church. People say things happen for reason... I think it nothing short of divine intervention that those Nuns came to my store when they did.
The PLEA
I've watched this forum long enough to feel like I needed to take the next step. I've done alot of my own research, but honestly... so many question are left unanswered. About EVERYTHING. I've read so many stories and first hand experiences, but so much remain unknown. How do I start? What can I truly expect? How ready am I, and what do I need to do to get ready? Etc. etc. etc.
So this is my plea to you. Pilgrims young and old, experienced and novice. I want to join you on the road. I ask for nothing from you except your knowledge. This is my journey to take, and I expect nobody but me to make it happen.
I just need a path. I need answers. I need advice. I need you to work with me to make this happen. Its claimed that the Camino provides and you will find what you're searching for at the end of it. Give me this chance.
My hope is to start walking from Le Puy to Saint-Jean-Pied-de-Port and then onto the French Way straight to Santiago. Any advice is appreciated.
Please... let me follow the shells with you.
