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Nervous about going alone, without my partner

Ellielooking

New Member
Time of past OR future Camino
2024 or 2025
To any who can give me your thoughts. I am 64, searching to enrich my walk with the Lord then find myself in a place of peace at 64. I've been in a strong marriage for many years and have always wanted to please, not always doing what filled me. I have never lived alone or put myself before what I thought I should give others. I NEED THIS for me to find my way as the Lord intended. I appreciate any guidance and encouragement as I am nervous but determined.
 
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The focus is on reducing the risk of failure through being well prepared. 2nd ed.
To any who can give me your thoughts. I am 64, searching to enrich my walk with the Lord then find myself in a place of peace at 64. I've been in a strong marriage for many years and have always wanted to please, not always doing what filled me. I have never lived alone or put myself before what I thought I should give others. I NEED THIS for me to find my way as the Lord intended. I appreciate any guidance and encouragement as I am nervous but determined.

Did you seek an answer via prayer?
 
3rd Edition. More content, training & pack guides avoid common mistakes, bed bugs etc
When I retired 21 years ago I had always wanted to walk the Pennine Way (268 miles) in England/Scotland. We discussed it and my wife was happy for me to go. Since then I usually go for a "long" walk once a year for 2/5 weeks staying in touch by phone each evening, she knows my itinerary so could check up should I be late in phoning or if she has an issue that would necessitate me coming home, which it did on one occasion. So I guess it "just" needs a chat and then a joint decision is made. Good luck!
 
To any who can give me your thoughts. I am 64, searching to enrich my walk with the Lord then find myself in a place of peace at 64. I've been in a strong marriage for many years and have always wanted to please, not always doing what filled me. I have never lived alone or put myself before what I thought I should give others. I NEED THIS for me to find my way as the Lord intended. I appreciate any guidance and encouragement as I am nervous but determined.
Back in 2015 my wife and I met an American lady who like you was worried, and like you had never put herself first. we met up quite a few times on the journey and it was amazing to see how much she was coming out of herself.
We conversed for a while after completing the camino , and she confided that the camino had completely transformed her life at home, and to say that her husband was shocked was an understatement.
People may not think the camino is not going to change you, but in its own subtle way it does and it's always for the good.
Walk with an open mind, you will meet people like yourself.

Buen Camino

Waka
 
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Back in 2015 my wife and I met an American lady who like you was worried, and like you had never put herself first. we met up quite a few times on the journey and it was amazing to see how much she was coming out of herself.
We conversed for a while after completing the camino , and she confided that the camino had completely transformed her life at home, and to say that her husband was shocked was an understatement.
People may not think the camino is not going to change you, but in its own subtle way it does and it's always for the good.
Walk with an open mind, you will meet people like yourself.

Buen Camino

Waka
I am amazed at all the encouragement...and so quickly. Thank you. It reminds me of the support I received when I attended a "Walk to Emmaus" retreat as well as returned from mission trips...even after the events.
 
I'm anxious about how I will handle it and fear failure.
Unless you pick a remote route in the dead of winter, you may be without your partner but you will not be alone. The community of fellow pilgrims is a very supportive one. It's amazing how helpful they can be in handling it and making it a success.
 
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EllieL, more encouraging words and questions.

I'm 62, married 36 years. I walked with him once, and without him once. The unanswerable question ( by us, not by you two) is how does your relationship work now?

My husband and I have a long work and life history of doing things both together and apart, and my happiness has always been foremost for him. We talk openly about expectations, fears, and dreams.

He gladly helped me pay for the Camino I walked in September. His only requests were that I take lots of pictures and contact him each day. The FindPenguins app was good for both purposes.

Failure is relative, and, if you acknowledge and properly manage your expectations, unlikely. You may not meet your original expectations, and that is a very good and very necessary part of deepening all your relationships.
If the two of you agree, then go, be open to change and that quiet voice, and Buen Camino. If you two don't, then you both need to explore what God's will is...
 
Feeling nervous is perfectly normal Ellie. You have already taken the hardest step by deciding to walk a solo Camino. The rest is having faith in yourself and your family and seeking practical advice from places like this forum.
Buen Camino Peregrina!
 
Unless you pick a remote route in the dead of winter, you may be without your partner but you will not be alone. The community of fellow pilgrims is a very supportive one. It's amazing how helpful they can be in handling it and making it a success.
That is what I have heard and read and I appreciate your confirming.
 
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Hi @Ellielooking . Sure you are nervous. It's a big thing you are planning.
But know that there is a very supportive Pilgrim 'community' travelling with you.

On our 2018 Camino, my wife and I met a woman with a very similar background and fears that you have shared. She was wonderful company, made many friends along the way, and it was uplifting to see her confidence and joy 'emerge' as the journey progressed. :)
 
I'm anxious about how I will handle it and fear failure.
What is "failure"? Some people do it in stages, some get injured and can't complete it (at least, as planned), some decide they don't like it and decide to do something else. There isn't failure in those scenarios, but there is, in the failure to start or try something you want and that circumstances allow.
 
We all have doubts before our first Caminos, and oftentimes before our 2nd, 3rd, 4th, or 7th Camino.
Before I went the first time I gave myself permission to quit if I discovered that the Camino just wasn't "my thing" and find a nice beach to hang out on in Spain - or just sightsee.

The other thing is to forget about thinking about it as a 500 mile walk, which sounds really daunting! Instead, think of the Camino as a series of day hikes, and then break that down farther to 3 or 4 short hikes each day.
 
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What is "failure"? Some people do it in stages, some get injured and can't complete it (at least, as planned), some decide they don't like it and decide to do something else. There isn't failure in those scenarios, but there is, in the failure to start or try something you want and that circumstances allow.

Great point @C clearly .
On my first Camino I started out carrying injuries.
I never really expected to complete it.
But after 3 years of waiting and planning I was going to 'give it m best shot'.

I was so thankful each day, to have just made it, through another day.........
If I for whatever reason I might have had to leave the Camino, I would have been so grateful for the experience I would not have deemed it a failure.

Heck. Day 1 was worth it all ! ;)

Every day was magical in some way or another.
 
I'm anxious about how I will handle it and fear failure.
Ellie, the only failure, is failure to try.

Doubt's / nerves are not only normal, they're healthy! And therefore completely understandable.

You've already made two major steps. 1) you've decided you want to do this. 2) you've reached out to this forum for help.

You say you are in a strong marriage so presumably your husband is supporting you, as he should.

Many reach out to this community here online for assistance when they're struggling on The Way. It's always been there for them. As everybody else has advised, the support for each other is huge amongst the pilgrim community. Not just here online but in reality on The Way.
And as you are religious, you have prayed and still come to this decision then clearly you believe that you have God's support too.

If, after the first few days, you decide that hard as you have tried that this is simply not for you - it's perfectly okay to quit. Thousands do. Somehow I suspect you won't. Why? Because, despite all your doubt's, you've already said " I am nervous but determined.. "

You've got this.
It's time to book your ticket.
 
I get nervous in the lead up and before every camino. It’s perfectly normal. I find that the nervousness melts away within a day or two of starting my Camino. I’ve done two with my wife and two solo. Number 5 is coming up this year and that will be solo too. Don’t fret. You’ll get heaps of support and encouragement along the way from other pilgrims. And you’ll make friends. If you’re fit and healthy you’ll be fine. Thousands walk that route, GR65, each year. Many are solo, as I was. I am still in touch with the pilgrim friends that I made in that year, 2022. Relax. Prepare well and you’ll be fine.
 
The focus is on reducing the risk of failure through being well prepared. 2nd ed.
I encourage you to go alone. It will be a challenge but you can do it. There may be lonely, confusing, depressing times. But you will meet a community of kind and supportive pilgrims. You will come to know yourself and what the Lord intends for you.

I’ve done many Caminos but I envy you planning your first Camino. How I wish I could return to that state of ignorance where every day on the Way was magical even if I was tired, hurting, cold, and had no idea what I was doing.

I went alone on 7 trips to Spain to walk various Camino paths. Then, last year I walked with my wife. I showed her the albergue I stayed in Hornillos where I was the only pilgrim during a cold, dark early March night. I was so depressed that night and resolved to try to make the experience better. I told her, “ this is where my life changed.” I showed her the albergue I stayed in Castrojeriz where I met two pilgrims who gave me advice and helped me make changes, and I told her, “ this is also where my life changed.” I showed her the bar in Calzadilla where I met a group of pilgrims sitting outside during one of the few sunny days. They welcomed me for a beer and we became close over the next few weeks. I told my wife again, “this is where my life changed.”

Before every trip to the Camino I am nervous. I wonder if it’s really a good idea to go back again. I wonder whether I should just stay home. Then I realize I am putting too much pressure on myself and on the Camino to have an amazing, transformative experience. So then I simplify my thinking and formulate a basic plan and purpose. I try to minimize expectations and then I think that I am just going to go again and see what happens. Something always happens. Always something good. Always something that I would not experience anywhere else in the world.
 
Most of us, If we answer honestly would have been apprehensive on our first Camino. The biggest regret I have was that I wasted so much time before setting off

Just start walking is my advice to you and others ( and my old self )
 
To any who can give me your thoughts. I am 64, searching to enrich my walk with the Lord then find myself in a place of peace at 64. I've been in a strong marriage for many years and have always wanted to please, not always doing what filled me. I have never lived alone or put myself before what I thought I should give others. I NEED THIS for me to find my way as the Lord intended. I appreciate any guidance and encouragement as I am nervous but determined.
I have been married 42 years. I am 71. I walk without my husband. I gave up waiting for him to join me. If he did, he would be the biggest cheerleader for the Camino.
Life is short. I be plan to return next fall to the Camino. I pray for my husband as I walk….
 
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€46,-
71, married 48 years. I have walked part of the way with my husband, whose bad knee made it harder for him to walk more than a few miles a day (he taxied when he had to stop, or started late and we met up).

I'm planning a solo short walk in late April, from St Jean to Pamplona, part of a longer trip. I've been nervous about that section, and avoided it previously due to his limitations and my worries about going it alone.

People kindly suggest not overthinking it and just going, and they have a point, but particularly for this section I have found doing research and planning (stopping in Borda, getting my trekking poles at the shop by the Pilgrim office in SJPDP, etc.) helps me feel more confident about going solo. And while walking solo I met so many lovely people that I do indeed feel that on this walk I will not be alone.
 
May I make a suggestion for your partner? It may be valuable to hear some perspectives from pilgrims’ partners, and how those partners’s support from afar is so important and a gift to those on the Way. And perhaps a way for your partner to hear that your Camino provides an opportunity for him as well.

My partner said “go, send me and the kids proof of life every 24 hours, have fun, because don’t worry — we’ll make sure to have fun without you too.” It was a gift and meant I could just embrace my solo walk. And it meant that he and the kids had to figure out their own relationships without me around. They did. It brought them closer.
 
You are not alone! I am 44 and also considering a solo Camino, and feeling very nervous. We have been planning to go together on a shorter break from work, but I was just laid off and it feels like this may be the universe’s way of giving me an opportunity to do this myself. My husband is very supportive… I just don’t know where to start and will need to go sooner rather than later. I am very encouraged by the responses in this thread!
 
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You are not alone! I am 44 and also considering a solo Camino, and feeling very nervous. We have been planning to go together on a shorter break from work, but I was just laid off and it feels like this may be the universe’s way of giving me an opportunity to do this myself. My husband is very supportive… I just don’t know where to start and will need to go sooner rather than later. I am very encouraged by the responses in this thread!
To any who can give me your thoughts. I am 64, searching to enrich my walk with the Lord then find myself in a place of peace at 64. I've been in a strong marriage for many years and have always wanted to please, not always doing what filled me. I have never lived alone or put myself before what I thought I should give others. I NEED THIS for me to find my way as the Lord intended. I appreciate any guidance and encouragement as I am nervous but determined.
Camigas

IMG_0524.png
 
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To any who can give me your thoughts. I am 64, searching to enrich my walk with the Lord then find myself in a place of peace at 64. I've been in a strong marriage for many years and have always wanted to please, not always doing what filled me. I have never lived alone or put myself before what I thought I should give others. I NEED THIS for me to find my way as the Lord intended. I appreciate any guidance and encouragement as I am nervous but determined.
I am going to assume you are planning to walk the CF. Do not worry about being alone. You will not be alone on the trail or at night. Make sure you get good shoes and break them in. There is nothing that will make a Camino unbearable more than sore feet. Do not have a lot of expectations. Just get up each day, put one foot in front of the other and let the Camino be your guide.
 
Did you seek an answer via prayer?
I am going to assume you are planning to walk the CF. Do not worry about being alone. You will not be alone on the trail or at night. Make sure you get good shoes and break them in. There is nothing that will make a Camino unbearable more than sore feet. Do not have a lot of expectations. Just get up each day, put one foot in front of the other and let the Camino be your guide.
I am going to assume you are planning to walk the CF. Do not worry about being alone. You will not be alone on the trail or at night. Make sure you get good shoes and break them in. There is nothing that will make a Camino unbearable more than sore feet. Do not have a lot of expectations. Just get up each day, put one foot in front of the other and let the Camino be your guide.
I am unsure of my path at this point. I appreciate the encouragement and advice!
 
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I encourage you to go alone. It will be a challenge but you can do it. There may be lonely, confusing, depressing times. But you will meet a community of kind and supportive pilgrims. You will come to know yourself and what the Lord intends for you.

I’ve done many Caminos but I envy you planning your first Camino. How I wish I could return to that state of ignorance where every day on the Way was magical even if I was tired, hurting, cold, and had no idea what I was doing.

I went alone on 7 trips to Spain to walk various Camino paths. Then, last year I walked with my wife. I showed her the albergue I stayed in Hornillos where I was the only pilgrim during a cold, dark early March night. I was so depressed that night and resolved to try to make the experience better. I told her, “ this is where my life changed.” I showed her the albergue I stayed in Castrojeriz where I met two pilgrims who gave me advice and helped me make changes, and I told her, “ this is also where my life changed.” I showed her the bar in Calzadilla where I met a group of pilgrims sitting outside during one of the few sunny days. They welcomed me for a beer and we became close over the next few weeks. I told my wife again, “this is where my life changed.”

Before every trip to the Camino I am nervous. I wonder if it’s really a good idea to go back again. I wonder whether I should just stay home. Then I realize I am putting too much pressure on myself and on the Camino to have an amazing, transformative experience. So then I simplify my thinking and formulate a basic plan and purpose. I try to minimize expectations and then I think that I am just going to go again and see what happens. Something always happens. Always something good. Always something that I would not experience anywhere else in the world.
Thank you....this is so helpful! Which path did you take your first trip and for how long?
 
There are also 2 other FB groups for women, that you might think about joining. One is WOACA (women of a certain age), where we are all over 50 I think, and Camino Confidence, which strives to be a safe space to let women talk about their fears and have confidence that they can walk a Camino by themselves. For women who have never traveled alone or out of the country, lots of things about the Camino seem daunting. Both of these groups can be helpful.
 
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My wife and I walked the Camino Frances four times - each from St Jean to Santiago. We hiked the route on alternating years, beginning 2015. She was not able to join me last fall since she was recovering from a severe stress fracture from our 2021 camino. In addition her 90 year old mother who lives nearby suffered a few falls in her home. We are 66 years old and married 41 years. We agreed that I would try a different, shorter route, and hike alone. I decided to hike Camino Portuguese, starting in Porto hiking the coast, then crossing inland to the central route from Viana do Castelo to Ponte de Lima. I prebooked private rooms each night. I enjoyed hiking the new route, experiencing new towns, food/wine and staying at new places. Although since each town was a new experience it required some effort to find the locations of albergues / hotels. This compared to CF where we were quite familiar with the route and we often booked rooms in places we stayed before. I was fine hiking alone and was able to chat with many pilgrims along the way. But I did miss hiking with my wife and eating meals alone is not ideal. We have decided to hike a portion of Camino Frances in Sept-Oct, 2025 starting in Leon and hiking to Santiago. Bob
 
I'm anxious about how I will handle it and fear failure.
I was worried I would fail my Camino from SJPdP. I had a friend years earlier that bailed after the first day and I was terrified I would suffer the same fate. I had made reservations for my first couple of nights which meant I had to be in Roncesvalles that first day of walking. I had also given myself permission to fail as I knew it would be a rough day. I made the stupid mistake of walking the day after flying in from North America, I was exhausted and had a bad reaction to a protein bar (I am still laughing at that) and when I got to Orisson I was dead. I took a cab back down the mountain and to Roncesvalles. And started walking again the next day.

You can do it. Take your time. Listen to your body, when you need a break, you need a break. The fear of failure is another way of saying I want to succeed!

Buen Camino!
 
The one from Galicia (the round) and the one from Castilla & Leon. Individually numbered and made by the same people that make the ones you see on your walk.
I have been married 42 years. I am 71. I walk without my husband. I gave up waiting for him to join me. If he did, he would be the biggest cheerleader for the Camino.
Life is short. I be plan to return next fall to the Camino. I pray for my husband as I walk….
Thank you for your encouragement...it helps so much! Prayers for your next Camino!
 
There are also 2 other FB groups for women, that you might think about joining. One is WOACA (women of a certain age), where we are all over 50 I think, and Camino Confidence, which strives to be a safe space to let women talk about their fears and have confidence that they can walk a Camino by themselves. For women who have never traveled alone or out of the country, lots of things about the Camino seem daunting. Both of these groups can be helpful.
Please investigate thoroughly the WOACA group. The founder has taken all of the funds collected for her 60+ day all-hotel camino. She admits it.
 
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To any who can give me your thoughts. I am 64, searching to enrich my walk with the Lord then find myself in a place of peace at 64. I've been in a strong marriage for many years and have always wanted to please, not always doing what filled me. I have never lived alone or put myself before what I thought I should give others. I NEED THIS for me to find my way as the Lord intended. I appreciate any guidance and encouragement as I am nervous but determined.
Think of nervousness as excitement instead. change your point of view and listen to the replies to your prayers. open mind, open heart, and excitement is a wonderful mixture of what it is to be alive!

Buen Camino!
 
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I also suggest staying clear of the WOACA facebook group too. They have basically scrubbed clean a majority questions or concerns about the actions of the admin and their supporters from the group page. Not the trusting, safe place I thought it was.
 
I also suggest staying clear of the WOACA facebook group too. They have basically scrubbed clean a majority questions or concerns about the actions of the admin and their supporters from the group page. Not the trusting, safe place I thought it was.


Gosh, I just did some research on that specific administrator of WOACA.
If you go to her own ( public ) FB page you see enough.

Will not post her name here, everyone with some basic detective skills will find her.
 
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