Blake
I had been walking for 23 days and had covered 350 miles. I had had time to think about every aspect if my life. And I had come to terms with so many things. God had spoken to me over and over again as I had walked alone for the biggest part if those first 2 weeks. My body had broken down, and I was forced to ignore my flesh completely. I had been broken in body, mind will and emotions.
As I became more and more aware that I was coming closer to the Cruz de Ferro. ( an iron cross placed at the highest point on the Camino) I began to collect small rocks. I would look intently until I found one of interest. If pick it up rub it in my hands, feel the texture of it. If after abit of time it wasn't feeling like a good fit I would throw it back to the ground and begin again.
I wanted one rock for each of my family members. Once I had the right amount, I would handle them, look at them and slowly each rock received a name. 7 rocks, 7 names in all. Tom, Nicole, Matthew, Levi, Blake, Mom, Dad. I carefully penned each name on their designated rock.
I laid them out and photographed them in the shape of a person. I held each one lovingly as I thought about them and how each person would respond to the changes that had occurred within me through this journey.
I had a last look at my collection and prepared to bring my rocks at sunrise the next morning to the Cruz de Ferro. I began placing them into my backpack pocket. But as I held the one inscribed with my grandson Blake's name on it, I wasn't ready to place it into the pocket.
I held it in my hand. I rubbed it between my fingers as I watched the sun slowly disappear behind the mountain, turning the sky shades of orange and pink. I watched as the garrison of guardian windmills slowly spun on top of the majestic mountain tops and I thought of the last words I remembered Blake saying to me "Memaw, water". As we crossed the river. That was more than 5 years ago,
Turning the stone over and over in my hand, tears began to puddle in my eyes and spill down my cheeks. The pain of the loss at times overcomes me. I knew I couldn't place the stone with the others. I couldn't let it go. But what would I do with that tiny symbolic stone?
After minutes of silently weeping, I decided I would take this one stone home. I would keep it safe and close until God restored what Satan had destroyed. I would wait for the mighty hand of God to put things right.
And when all is repaired and restored, I would return, hopefully with Blake in tow to put his stone in its rightful place with the others.
I will hold onto Gods promise to restore what the locust had devoured. One day!
Cruz de Ferro
We woke early to begin the 2.3 km hike up to the highest point of the entire trip. We wanted to watch the sun rise come up behind the Cruz de Ferro (the iron cross).
As we climbed I began to realize that we had miscalculated the timing and the dawn was breaking, but we still had a ways to climb before reaching the top. As I peered into the sky it was very apparent that the cloud cover was extremely thick, so there would probably not be much of a display of brilliant colors usually associated with the sunrise for the past 26 days.
I tromped silently ever upward. As I neared the top I placed the symbolic stones into the palm of my hands and carried them ever so gently. Thinking over to myself why I chose each stone. What each person those stones represented met to me. Tears began to roll silently down my cheeks. I wanted these loved ones to know Christ like I have come to know Him. As my savior, my beloved, my provider, my protector, my healer, my everything! And I wanted us to be complete. I thought of my love for each one and how the love if one never diminished my love for the other. I would die for each one.
The other pilgrims stood quietly as they each reflected on what they were about to place below the plain iron cross. Many with tears. Each pilgrim waited their turn very solemnly and respectfully.
As I waited, I coupled those tiny rocks In my hand, touching each one lovingly and praying over them.
My time had come to lay my symbolic items at the foot of the cross. Tears flowed freely as I began my ascent to the top. I was so aware that I was about to place those people I loved the very most into the arms of my beloved Christ . As I made the emotional accent I was very aware that I was walking on other people's dreams, hurts, triumphs , questions, and more. This felt like a holy place.
I stood and turned my loved ones stones over in my hand one more time and then began to place each stone gently at the foot of the cross. I laid Blake's beside the others and then reminded him that we would return together to place his stone in its rightful place with the others when Gods timing was right.
As I slowly descended, I began to observe some of the things left behind by others And my emotions overwhelmed me, I knew I had experienced something Holy. I was wondering if the other pilgrims knew also.
It was my friends turn, we had shared so much of our lives in this short time, I watched as she began to climb to the top. She had never told me what she was leaving, but as I watched I knew. And I saw the pain and loss.
I took a few minutes to photograph some of the more moving items, But each item or stone has a deep significance.
I placed my one little stone back into my pocket just as the sun peaked out from behind the clouds. God, the supreme artist, displayed Himself in all His glory.
This day will forever be a pivotal point in my life. And I will remember it forever. Until I return to complete the task I began.