CaminoSeeker
Member
- Time of past OR future Camino
- Walking May/June 2019
Hello everyone.
This is my first time on the forum. I am 42 years old. I don't know where to begin.
I walked several Caminos before. My first one was in 2015 Camino Francés. In 2016 the Camino del Norte starting in San Sebastián. In 2017 the Camino Portugués from Lisboa and passing through Camino de Fátima. All ending in Santiago de Compostela.
Since my first Camino, I fell in love with it. It gave me so much joy and peace. It became my goal every year. You all know of course what it feels like walking the Camino, meeting wonderful pilgrims and living an adventure and having all kind of personal and spiritual experiences, learning from others, places to stay or getting lost or having doubts to stop walking or having injuries, walking through beautiful places and wonderful landscapes, etc.
In 2018 I couldn't walk the camino because I had an operation in my back and it felt so bad because the recovery took almost 6 months.
Since my last camino in 2017 I was dreaming about my next one. After my operation and the recovery process, in 2018 around October I started to have moderate depression because of a very bad circumstances that brought me down and I am still struggling with it. It's hard. I have insomnia. I don't see my self as I was before, a happy person, positive energy and courageous, full of love and kindness towards everyone and everything. Life was good.
Now it's all the contrary. I have fears and I project negative thoughts and I don't recognize my self anymore. I tried all my best to get professional help and spiritual help too...
All my past experiences on the Camino are gone! Disappeared! It's like I have never walked the Camino before!
I decided to buy my airplane ticket last month so to start the Camino in May. But I have fears. I don't feel excited! I don't even know how to prepare and pack my things anymore. I need the Camino, I need to walk it. But I am afraid my fellow pilgrims see me sad and suffering. I am afraid I can't walk the distances. I have self-doubts about everything. I want to walk the Camino del Norte and then the Primitivo to SdC. But it's a kinda lonely path to walk perhaps. So I thought about walking the Camino Frances starting from SJPDP because I can meet more people on the way and perhaps it will help me socialize and so. But due to my depression, I am afraid that people will not want to socialize with me because I am sad. It shows. I don't feel confident. I have my doubts and I feel lost.
My hope now relies on the Camino. I hope it can help me get up on my feet again and feel better.
Any advice?! I really do appreciate it. I don't know what to do or which Camino should I choose.
Thank you and Buen Camino!
Faith, Hope & Love.
This is my first time on the forum. I am 42 years old. I don't know where to begin.
I walked several Caminos before. My first one was in 2015 Camino Francés. In 2016 the Camino del Norte starting in San Sebastián. In 2017 the Camino Portugués from Lisboa and passing through Camino de Fátima. All ending in Santiago de Compostela.
Since my first Camino, I fell in love with it. It gave me so much joy and peace. It became my goal every year. You all know of course what it feels like walking the Camino, meeting wonderful pilgrims and living an adventure and having all kind of personal and spiritual experiences, learning from others, places to stay or getting lost or having doubts to stop walking or having injuries, walking through beautiful places and wonderful landscapes, etc.
In 2018 I couldn't walk the camino because I had an operation in my back and it felt so bad because the recovery took almost 6 months.
Since my last camino in 2017 I was dreaming about my next one. After my operation and the recovery process, in 2018 around October I started to have moderate depression because of a very bad circumstances that brought me down and I am still struggling with it. It's hard. I have insomnia. I don't see my self as I was before, a happy person, positive energy and courageous, full of love and kindness towards everyone and everything. Life was good.
Now it's all the contrary. I have fears and I project negative thoughts and I don't recognize my self anymore. I tried all my best to get professional help and spiritual help too...
All my past experiences on the Camino are gone! Disappeared! It's like I have never walked the Camino before!
I decided to buy my airplane ticket last month so to start the Camino in May. But I have fears. I don't feel excited! I don't even know how to prepare and pack my things anymore. I need the Camino, I need to walk it. But I am afraid my fellow pilgrims see me sad and suffering. I am afraid I can't walk the distances. I have self-doubts about everything. I want to walk the Camino del Norte and then the Primitivo to SdC. But it's a kinda lonely path to walk perhaps. So I thought about walking the Camino Frances starting from SJPDP because I can meet more people on the way and perhaps it will help me socialize and so. But due to my depression, I am afraid that people will not want to socialize with me because I am sad. It shows. I don't feel confident. I have my doubts and I feel lost.
My hope now relies on the Camino. I hope it can help me get up on my feet again and feel better.
Any advice?! I really do appreciate it. I don't know what to do or which Camino should I choose.
Thank you and Buen Camino!
Faith, Hope & Love.
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