Being a "Camino addict" while partner/husband is not at all .

[Dutchwalk53]

So I came back from my first Camino and discovered I want to go again.....and probably again and again
Now that being said my husband is not into walking AT ALL. He is retired and enjoys Tennis and Golf whereas my thing is ......walking! I am still working so can only take 2 or 3 weeks a year off . If it were just up to me .... I would just go for 3 weeks to Spain next spring. However I do want and need to go on vacations with my husband too. I enjoy going on trips with him but as I wrote I have time restrictions.
So we chatted about it a bit and I think that coming year I will do only the first 2 weeks of the Camino and then the year after again the last 2 weeks or so. This way I can still go on vacation with my husband 1 week.
My question is do more of you have partners/husbands that absolutely don"t share the "Passion for the Camino " with you and how do you deal with all without feeling " guilty" spending so much time on it?

 

[CaminoKate0214]

He and I have always vacationed separately so no guilt! I've always been more active than him too. Don't feel guilty and just do what works for yourself and for you two together. Burn Camino!

 

[Former member 42123]

TTF

So I came back from my first Camino and discovered I want to go again.....and probably again and again
Now that being said my husband is not into walking AT ALL. He is retired and enjoys Tennis and Golf whereas my thing is ......walking! I am still working so can only take 2 or 3 weeks a year off . If it were just up to me .... I would just go for 3 weeks to Spain next spring. However I do want and need to go on vacations with my husband too. I enjoy going on trips with him but as I wrote I have time restrictions.
So we chatted about it a bit and I think that coming year I will do only the first 2 weeks of the Camino and then the year after again the last 2 weeks or so. This way I can still go on vacation with my husband 1 week.
My question is do more of you have partners/husbands that absolutely don"t share the "Passion for the Camino " with you and how do you deal with all without feeling " guilty" spending so much time on it?

I am also a Camino addict,whereas my wife could think of nothing worse to her.We have two yorkies and it suits all round for one of us to look after them whilst the other is away.My wife goes on holiday with one of our sons and family,last time U.S.A.while I go guilt free on Camino.I am so lucky.

 

[MTtoCamino]

I simply realize I was given a gift to have made the journey, I agree returning would be wonderful but my spouse does not seem to have the call. So I am trying to get her to try a 2 week walk. I think for those of us who walked solo we can only try to share the experience. Like you we are both still working so patience is definatatly needed. The Camino is like all things only we as individuals determine what our priorities should be.

 

[SabsP]

My partner does not like to walk either, only to the local pub ( I too btw ). Seeing I have more days off legally from work than he, I can easily walk a two week Camino and still be able to have our regular holidays together. And he is so much abroad for work so he enjoys some me-time for himself when at home. And he enjoys the pics I take on my walks.
So next year I will walk a week by myself during Semana Santa and then we have two weeks together in May and two weeks in September for regular holidays.
And we live in Belgium so I am aware that we have more paid leave then let's say the USA.

 

[Peter Fransiscus]

So I came back from my first Camino and discovered I want to go again.....and probably again and again
Now that being said my husband is not into walking AT ALL. He is retired and enjoys Tennis and Golf whereas my thing is ......walking! I am still working so can only take 2 or 3 weeks a year off . If it were just up to me .... I would just go for 3 weeks to Spain next spring. However I do want and need to go on vacations with my husband too. I enjoy going on trips with him but as I wrote I have time restrictions.
So we chatted about it a bit and I think that coming year I will do only the first 2 weeks of the Camino and then the year after again the last 2 weeks or so. This way I can still go on vacation with my husband 1 week.
My question is do more of you have partners/husbands that absolutely don"t share the "Passion for the Camino " with you and how do you deal with all without feeling " guilty" spending so much time on it?

Hi, I'm more of an addict than my wife. I blame her for my addiction.
She walked the Camino Frances in 2013,for her was it a very hard time .
We do a different Camino together every two years. And the years in between I walk alone an other one. This works for us.
Wish you well and a Buen Camino, Peter.

 

[Dutchwalk53]

I simply realize I was given a gift to have made the journey, I agree returning would be wonderful but my spouse does not seem to have the call. So I am trying to get her to try a 2 week walk. I think for those of us who walked solo we can only try to share the experience. Like you we are both still working so patience is definatatly needed. The Camino is like all things only we as individuals determine what our priorities should be.

True. I was lucky en

Hi, I'm more of an addict than my wife. I blame her for my addiction.
She walked the Camino Frances in 2013,for her was it a very hard time .
We do a different Camino together every two years. And the years in between I walk alone an other one. This works for us.
Wish you well and a Buen Camino, Peter.

One of the things I miss from living in Holland (Yes I'm Dutch but live since 1994 in the USA) the LONG vacations You and Sabine are lucky you still have that. 3 weeks is way to short !!!! But so be it.
Thank you all for your responses.

 

[Tincatinker]

My partner and I have dissonant work patterns and occasionally different views on what exactly constitutes fun. The Beloved has walked with me and may again in the future but is not Camino focussed (obsessed). Then again she does stuff that doesn't ring any bells for me. We worked out a while ago that for us time spent together was what made us work, happily together, as a couple. But it wasn't what we had to do all the time. I do my stuff, she does hers. Sometimes I get up and make that first pot of tea, sometimes she does. Sometimes I hike, sometimes she does what she does.

Guilt. I would feel guilty if I brought harm to another through action or inaction. Otherwise its just time to talk it through again.

ps. Perhaps you should tell your husband about all those golf courses in Rioja and Navarra with no queues for the tees and bargain golf-buggy hire

 

[Dutchwalk53]

My partner and I have dissonant work patterns and occasionally different views on what exactly constitutes fun. The Beloved has walked with me and may again in the future but is not Camino focussed (obsessed). Then again she does stuff that doesn't ring any bells for me. We worked out a while ago that for us time spent together was what made us work, happily together, as a couple. But it wasn't what we had to do all the time. I do my stuff, she does hers. Sometimes I get up and make that first pot of tea, sometimes she does. Sometimes I hike, sometimes she does what she does.

Guilt. I would feel guilty if I brought harm to another through action or inaction. Otherwise its just time to talk it through again.

ps. Perhaps you should tell your husband about all those golf courses in Rioja and Navarra with no queues for the tees and bargain golf-buggy hire

Ha ha My son actually stopped walking in the Ghost town with the golf course (Ciruena ?) on the Camino and hit some balls But yes you are absolutely right.....its how we live throughout the year too. So why not during vacations

 

[jpflavin1]

So I came back from my first Camino and discovered I want to go again.....and probably again and again
Now that being said my husband is not into walking AT ALL. He is retired and enjoys Tennis and Golf whereas my thing is ......walking! I am still working so can only take 2 or 3 weeks a year off . If it were just up to me .... I would just go for 3 weeks to Spain next spring. However I do want and need to go on vacations with my husband too. I enjoy going on trips with him but as I wrote I have time restrictions.
So we chatted about it a bit and I think that coming year I will do only the first 2 weeks of the Camino and then the year after again the last 2 weeks or so. This way I can still go on vacation with my husband 1 week.
My question is do more of you have partners/husbands that absolutely don"t share the "Passion for the Camino " with you and how do you deal with all without feeling " guilty" spending so much time on it?

Dutchwalk53:

My wife does not understand my obsession with the Camino. She came with me in December 2014 and picked garbage for three days with Rebekah's crew. I sure know how to treat my wife to a good time. We also spent a couple of days in Santiago and Madrid. That said, she does not enjoy hiking. She still does not understand my obsession but at least has an idea of what I am up too.

We are both retired, so time off is not an issue. There are many things we enjoy together and apart.

Ultreya,
Joe

 

[Kanga]

My husband really does not enjoy long days of walking. When asked if he is enjoying a camino he inevitably answers "I love my wife" or "the food is good". We also feel the importance of having holidays together. Often he comes with me for part only of the camino. I try to find things that he likes, that we can fit in. For example one camino we finished and went to Barcelona, where he was able to go to the Superbikes championship. Often we will hire a car at the end of our walk, to do some touring (which he likes).

 

[fraluchi]

On another thread today I mentioned that next year I'll probably "separate" from my wife (Annakappa) and walk the Francés from Santiago to Pamplona, whilst she might go in the "right" direction from Pamplona. Thus we can hopefully discharge our individual addictions.

 

[tyrrek]

Dutchwalk53:

My wife does not understand my obsession with the Camino. She came with me in December 2014 and picked garbage for three days with Rebekah's crew. I sure know how to treat my wife to a good time. We also spent a couple of days in Santiago and Madrid.

My partner joined me, Joe and his wife litter-picking in 2014 and she loved it: especially the peace and hospitality at the Peaceable Kingdom. She would probably also enjoy a short Camino, but it wouldn't be her first choice of activity.
She is now working in a school and is very restricted in what time she can take off. She can't make this year's litter picking, so I'm going alone and she's fine with that. However before committing to that I made sure we had something booked for the next time we're both on leave after Christmas. When we go away together I research the trip meticulously to find nice, characterful hotels etc that she'll love, not because she's some kind of princess, but to really make the trip memorable and show that her time is important too. I guess it's all about trying to find the right balance in the end.

 

[Diane Kinney]

While on Camino Frances in Sept I ran into a lovely Danish couple. I believe both were walkers but she had concerns for her husband's health and they decided to walk no more than 10 to 15 km a day, bus/cab through the industrial asphalt areas and enjoy their time together. And they stayed in private accommodations where they had a better chance of a good nights' sleep.
My husband too has no interest in long days of 25km hikes. When I returned home from a Camino I went on with friends and shared stories of people I met I mentioned the Danish couple and how they were doing "their Camino". My husband said that sounds like something he would like.
We're lucky we are retired and can take the time. So likely in 2017 my husband and I will take on a more lesurely Camino. But fall of 2016 I am going to China with friends. There are many things we enjoy doing together but our travel interests are different so we try to find the things that work for both of us but give each other space to do our own thing.

 

[Dennis D]

When my wife and I first saw "The Way," I told her that I would like to go to Spain and do that. Then I had a health issue and almost forgot about it. A year later, the Movie "Six Ways to the Camino" played in our town and my interest was re-vitalized. I told my wife that I wanted to walk the Camino and she told me to go for it. I asked her to join me and she just smiled and told me no thanks and that it was my thing to do. So, I have walked it twice and just purchased my plane ticket to do it again next April. Of course, my pack is ready to go and I am starting to break in my new boots.

She isn't interested in walking but has enjoyed meeting some of the friends that I have met these past two years. I am fortunate to have such a wonderful wife who allows me the freedom to make good choices. I think that she can sense the subtle changes in my life after I finished my first Camino. I know that I have. This addiction is one of the most positive things that has occurred in my life since my retirement.

 

[Dutchwalk53]

This addiction is one of the most positive things that has occurred in my life since my retirement.

Wonderful ! And I agree it is a great "addiction" . My problem is not so much that my husband doesn't "allow" me, it's more the fact that I'm not retired yet and only have 3 weeks a year off.

 

[Dennis D]

Wonderful ! And I agree it is a great "addiction" . My problem is not so much that my husband doesn't "allow" me, it's more the fact that I'm not retired yet and only have 3 weeks a year off.

I wish that I was still too young to retire. Because you are too young, that means that the Camino will be there for you to enjoy for many years to come.

We are fortunate that our loved ones give us the gift that allows us to walk on this amazing journey. The only guilt we should have is if we are not enjoying the experience. I always look forward to coming home so I share my "adventures" with my wife. She looks forward to hearing about them and looking at my photographs.

 

[Dutchwalk53]

I wish that I was still too young to retire. Because you are too young, that means that the Camino will be there for you to enjoy for many years to come.

Never looked at it that way ! Thanks because that is so true

 

[Dutchwalk53]

YAY....it's decided. I AM going for sure 2 weeks June 2016 ! The year after 4 weeks again. But for now I'm VERY excited to know I will go back in ....just 7 months Thanks for all your feedback . It helped me making my decision a lot easier !

 

[waveprof]

How to deal with that is probably as varied as how to have a successful relationship, there are a zillion answers.

My wife and I wouldn't want to do a camino without each other. Can't imagine it. Others can't imagine doing one together. I don't think that makes my marriage better (or worse) than another, but it makes it very hard to give advice. And I'd say the same even if my wife didn't share the camino bug........there are still a zillion different ways to cope with that, some that would work for some and be disastrous for others

 

[rappahannock_rev]

Boy does this topic resonate!

I just finished my second Camino - and immediately began planning to go back and walk again some day. My dear wife (I'm an Anglican Catholic priest, we're married) thinks I'm nuts. She wouldn't walk the Camino if I paid her to do so. But she's always been there for me, and if, someday, I say "I've simply got to go back!", she'll reply "You're hopeless!" -- and then help me pack.

 

[Dutchwalk53]

Boy does this topic resonate!

I just finished my second Camino - and immediately began planning to go back and walk again some day. My dear wife (I'm an Anglican Catholic priest, we're married) thinks I'm nuts. She wouldn't walk the Camino if I paid her to do so. But she's always been there for me, and if, someday, I say "I've simply got to go back!", she'll reply "You're hopeless!" -- and then help me pack.

I think my husband is getting used to it finally ha ha . I have to say...I didn't expect that this "addiction" would happen either but once back from my first Camino a few weeks....there it was , I got the bug . Like your wife ....I couldn't pay him to do it. He joined us (me and my son and his daughter ) our last 5 days but didn't walk (met us at each end of the day in hostel) ...He thinks walking is boring while I LOVE the quiet, nature, meeting people etc etc. I decided this morning that I will go back in June for a short one (2 weeks) and then will try to do a full one again in 2017 .

 

[joe g texas aggies]

So I came back from my first Camino and discovered I want to go again.....and probably again and again
Now that being said my husband is not into walking AT ALL. He is retired and enjoys Tennis and Golf whereas my thing is ......walking! I am still working so can only take 2 or 3 weeks a year off . If it were just up to me .... I would just go for 3 weeks to Spain next spring. However I do want and need to go on vacations with my husband too. I enjoy going on trips with him but as I wrote I have time restrictions.
So we chatted about it a bit and I think that coming year I will do only the first 2 weeks of the Camino and then the year after again the last 2 weeks or so. This way I can still go on vacation with my husband 1 week.
My question is do more of you have partners/husbands that absolutely don"t share the "Passion for the Camino " with you and how do you deal with all without feeling " guilty" spending so much time on it?

I have the same problem. I walked the CF in April/May this year, without my wife, who went to Africa for about a month without me. I honestly believe she does not feel up to the physical challenge = we are both in our 70's.
I have resorted to a steady diet of "lobbying" her to allow me to go again, maybe with one or both of our adult sons. She wants to visit other parts of the world. I only want to go to Europe and not any big cities at that. I would be happy to visit only Spain, France and Italy.

 

[Jack oehlmann]

I took my wife who is 9 years younger than me and less fitter than me for an 11 week vacation of Europe, featuring a 6 day walk of the last part of the Portuguese Camino. Two weeks of touring Spain than our Camino walk, she lasted 2 days and developed foot trouble and pulled out so I met up with her every night as we had our accommodation already booked. She just doesn't get the whole walking thing, and she thinks I'm mad for wanting to go back and doing the CF, if I do go back in a tear or 2 I'm not taking her. We enjoyed the rest of our holiday as it was her first time to Europe.We live in Australia and it cost a fair bit that is why we had such a long time away from home. Kind regards jack

 

[kelleymac]

So I came back from my first Camino and discovered I want to go again.....and probably again and again
Now that being said my husband is not into walking AT ALL. He is retired and enjoys Tennis and Golf whereas my thing is ......walking! I am still working so can only take 2 or 3 weeks a year off . If it were just up to me .... I would just go for 3 weeks to Spain next spring. However I do want and need to go on vacations with my husband too. I enjoy going on trips with him but as I wrote I have time restrictions.
So we chatted about it a bit and I think that coming year I will do only the first 2 weeks of the Camino and then the year after again the last 2 weeks or so. This way I can still go on vacation with my husband 1 week.
My question is do more of you have partners/husbands that absolutely don"t share the "Passion for the Camino " with you and how do you deal with all without feeling " guilty" spending so much time on it?

My husband's concept of vacation is being an aristocrat for a few weeks-- gourmet food, servants, gardens, golf... He is happy with a fantastic view and a place for him to work on his research. (He is a retired professor.) I get so bored and feel trapped that I find myself pacing back and forth-- I also find myself bored with the conversations going on in such places. So, my son and I walked the Camino last Spring. I do feel a bit guilty still leaving him and my older son on their own to take care of the house and the animals (horse, dog, cats). But I really needed to walk the Camino-- I had been thinking about if for 10 years. I sent my husband photos and texted every evening-- though sometimes it was only one line at the end of an exhausting day.

 

[Dutchwalk53]

My husband's concept of vacation is being an aristocrat for a few weeks-- gourmet food, servants, gardens, golf... He is happy with a fantastic view and a place for him to work on his research. (He is a retired professor.) I get so bored and feel trapped that I find myself pacing back and forth-- I also find myself bored with the conversations going on in such places. So, my son and I walked the Camino last Spring. I do feel a bit guilty still leaving him and my older son on their own to take care of the house and the animals (horse, dog, cats). But I really needed to walk the Camino-- I had been thinking about if for 10 years. I sent my husband photos and texted every evening-- though sometimes it was only one line at the end of an exhausting day.

My husband is retired here in FL and traveled plenty his whole life and just doesn't feel the need to go places so much anymore. He'll go for me but..........However he will never do any part of the Camino with me. He just doesn't enjoy it. Reason I started this thread was I felt guilty too, but since we have talked a lot about my need to keep doing this and he is actually fine with all. It was more me then him who thought it would be an issue if I go (and keep going) alone. Many people on this site have talk about "the pull' to do the Camino and once done got stuck with the bug As one of the replies above says, it could be worse ha ha. It's a great "bug" to have. I made up my mind and will walk the Camino as often as I can and want. It's my treat to self once every now and then

 

[SYates]

Whilst my husband would love to come more with me, he is the one who has the time restricts. But holidays/vacations are normally not the only time you spend together with your spouse, you spend a lot of 'normal life' together also, so I wouldn't feel guilty about taking a few weeks off each year. Buen Camino! SY

 

[Alan Pearce]

My wife plays bridge. This should be sufficient information for those who know anything about bridge players. It is an addiction equal to that of the camino. She often travels on weekends to bridge tournaments ["congresses] around southern NSW and to nearby cities for games during the week. If all the days that she plays bridge in a year were added up, the total would exceed the time I spend annually in Spain.

I make sure that I ask her each time that she comes home from a game just how she has done. I really don't understand very much about the game eg how to make a bid that asks your partner "How many aces have you got?" But I nod and smile and frown as I think is appropriate.

The result is one happy bridge player, and one happy walker.

Alan

Be brave. Life is joyous.

PS Our shared passion is our children. We are not long back from riding the Indian/Pacific train across Australia, to visit our son in Perth, Western Australia