hawkeyepierce
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- Time of past OR future Camino
- Camino Frances July 22
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And that's the best that you can do!Ultimately I’m going to keep going, I know that. Tomorrow I’ll wake up and walk to Villafranca del Bierzo, and I’m trying to focus on just one day at a time to avoid getting overwhelmed.
Oh yes! That happened to me in 2019 too. I also wrote about my dilemma here. I got a lot of responses, which helped me a lot at that time. If you want to, you can read all about it hereHas anyone else encountered this? How did you keep pushing forward?
Yes, although for slightly different reasons. I injured my knee just before San Anton on the way to Castrojeriz. I was that despondent that if there had been an airport there, I would have flown home.Has anyone else encountered this? How did you keep pushing forward?
This worked for me. I focussed on what I needed to do each day, rather than thinking about the challenge of walking on my bung knee all the way to Santiago. My knee gradually grew less painful, although it has bugged me ever since, and after perhaps a week, I knew that I would make it.Ultimately I’m going to keep going, I know that. Tomorrow I’ll wake up and walk to Villafranca del Bierzo, and I’m trying to focus on just one day at a time to avoid getting overwhelmed.
Sometimes I just need to be nonverbal for a while. I’m also a slow walker and my camino friends are all much further ahead of me unfortunately.
Doug, there isn’t an emoji that expresses “best wishes and good luck”. So, best wishes and good luck mate…Yes, although for slightly different reasons. I injured my knee just before San Anton on the way to Castrojeriz. I was that despondent that if there had been an airport there, I would have flown home.
This worked for me. I focussed on what I needed to do each day, rather than thinking about the challenge of walking on my bung knee all the way to Santiago. My knee gradually grew less painful, although it has bugged me ever since, and after perhaps a week, I knew that I would make it.
I do think it is also worth contacting your support network, which might include this forum. I was able to talk to another Australian who was walking similar stages, and who had been staying in many of the same towns from SJPP to Burgos. He was a great support during this difficult time for me. I decided not to contact my wife about how despondent I had become until I had started to feel better about continuing.
Edit:
ps that was on my first pilgrimage walk. Earlier this year I completed my tenth pilgrimage, and in just over a week I will be walking the Camino Salvado here in Australia.
pps and in October, I am scheduled to have surgery to replace that bung knee. It has been bone-on-bone for the last two pilgrimages, and while the surgeon is happy for me to do another long walk - he knows he won't stop me anyhow - he has agreed that the best option is knee replacement.
Thank you, but it's not about me, but to give Ryan, aka @hawkeyepierce, confidence that he is not alone feeling the way he does, that what he is proposing to do has worked for others, and to make sure he knows that there will be support here on the forum should he need that. After all, the worst that could happen if he goes on is that he could become another camino tragic, like so many of us, and we will see him here for years to come helping other pilgrims.Doug, there isn’t an emoji that expresses “best wishes and good luck”. So, best wishes and good luck mate…
Thank you all for your words of experience, wisdom and encouragement. You’ve given me much to ponder while walking tomorrow.
So you are continuing, which means you really do not have a problem.Hello from Ponferrada. I’ve got ten days left on the CF.
Only, I feel like I’m losing motivation? When I set out from SJPDP I was truly uncertain as to whether or not I was capable of walking the camino. I’m 70 pounds overweight and lead a sedentary life.
Yet here I am, hundreds of kilometers later. I made it over the Pyrenees, across the Meseta and up to Cruz de Ferro. Now, having proved to myself that I could accomplish all that, I find myself losing motivation.
The camino has gotten physically easier for me along the way and I’ve lost ten pounds so far. That’s great! But somehow besting that challenge has left me almost bored?
Has anyone else encountered this? How did you keep pushing forward?
Some of this comes from other sources I expect. I’m autistic and find some aspects of Spanish culture very trying. Sometimes I just need to be nonverbal for a while. I’m also a slow walker and my camino friends are all much further ahead of me unfortunately.
Ultimately I’m going to keep going, I know that. Tomorrow I’ll wake up and walk to Villafranca del Bierzo, and I’m trying to focus on just one day at a time to avoid getting overwhelmed.
Go to the beach for a few days, have a swim, relax and eat a bit. If you return and finish then good for you, if you go home then good for you..Hello from Ponferrada. I’ve got ten days left on the CF.
Only, I feel like I’m losing motivation? When I set out from SJPDP I was truly uncertain as to whether or not I was capable of walking the camino. I’m 70 pounds overweight and lead a sedentary life.
Yet here I am, hundreds of kilometers later. I made it over the Pyrenees, across the Meseta and up to Cruz de Ferro. Now, having proved to myself that I could accomplish all that, I find myself losing motivation.
The camino has gotten physically easier for me along the way and I’ve lost ten pounds so far. That’s great! But somehow besting that challenge has left me almost bored?
Has anyone else encountered this? How did you keep pushing forward?
Some of this comes from other sources I expect. I’m autistic and find some aspects of Spanish culture very trying. Sometimes I just need to be nonverbal for a while. I’m also a slow walker and my camino friends are all much further ahead of me unfortunately.
Ultimately I’m going to keep going, I know that. Tomorrow I’ll wake up and walk to Villafranca del Bierzo, and I’m trying to focus on just one day at a time to avoid getting overwhelmed.
Hello from Ponferrada. I’ve got ten days left on the CF.
Only, I feel like I’m losing motivation? When I set out from SJPDP I was truly uncertain as to whether or not I was capable of walking the camino. I’m 70 pounds overweight and lead a sedentary life.
Yet here I am, hundreds of kilometers later. I made it over the Pyrenees, across the Meseta and up to Cruz de Ferro. Now, having proved to myself that I could accomplish all that, I find myself losing motivation.
The camino has gotten physically easier for me along the way and I’ve lost ten pounds so far. That’s great! But somehow besting that challenge has left me almost bored?
Has anyone else encountered this? How did you keep pushing forward?
Some of this comes from other sources I expect. I’m autistic and find some aspects of Spanish culture very trying. Sometimes I just need to be nonverbal for a while. I’m also a slow walker and my camino friends are all much further ahead of me unfortunately.
Ultimately I’m going to keep going, I know that. Tomorrow I’ll wake up and walk to Villafranca del Bierzo, and I’m trying to focus on just one day at a time to avoid getting overwhelmed.
I lost 20 lbs by the time i was done....Hawkeye, do it for all us chubbies!Buen camino!
On my first Camino I found that once I realised I would / could finish - around 200 km from Santiago- my brain got bored and wanted a new challenge or something new of interest to do with itself. I believe there is a place past boredom that is much more peaceful and sublime. So soon I'm trying the Via del la Plata - 1000 km. I am very curious to see how my busy brain deals with this and to discover more of what lies beyond boredom.Hello from Ponferrada. I’ve got ten days left on the CF.
Only, I feel like I’m losing motivation? When I set out from SJPDP I was truly uncertain as to whether or not I was capable of walking the camino. I’m 70 pounds overweight and lead a sedentary life.
Yet here I am, hundreds of kilometers later. I made it over the Pyrenees, across the Meseta and up to Cruz de Ferro. Now, having proved to myself that I could accomplish all that, I find myself losing motivation.
The camino has gotten physically easier for me along the way and I’ve lost ten pounds so far. That’s great! But somehow besting that challenge has left me almost bored?
Has anyone else encountered this? How did you keep pushing forward?
Some of this comes from other sources I expect. I’m autistic and find some aspects of Spanish culture very trying. Sometimes I just need to be nonverbal for a while. I’m also a slow walker and my camino friends are all much further ahead of me unfortunately.
Ultimately I’m going to keep going, I know that. Tomorrow I’ll wake up and walk to Villafranca del Bierzo, and I’m trying to focus on just one day at a time to avoid getting overwhelmed.
What? Are you seriously suggesting this? This is certainly not my experience from similar circumstances, and I think I would have found someone denying that my pain and associated mental distress was real would have been extremely unhelpful. I found it both a mental and physical struggle each day for a week or more to keep walking. If @hawkeyepierce finds it difficult enough that he has resorted to reaching out to us here on this forum, I am happy to accept that he does have a problem.So you are continuing, which means you really do not have a problem.
So you are continuing, which means you really do not have a problem.
Good reply Doug. I’m more impressed by those who have ‘a problem’ working to overcome it than by those who purport that someone overcoming a problem clearly didn’t have one in the first place.What? Are you seriously suggesting this? This is certainly not my experience from similar circumstances, and I think I would have found someone denying that my pain and associated mental distress was real would have been extremely unhelpful. I found it both a mental and physical struggle each day for a week or more to keep walking. If @hawkeyepierce finds it difficult enough that he has resorted to reaching out to us here on this forum, I am happy to accept that he does have a problem.
It seems that knowing that he isn't the only one to face similar challenges has helped. Perhaps knowing how others have managed to continue under similar circumstances will help too. And perhaps knowing that what he has proposed to do has worked for others will help even more. What I don't see is how telling him he doesn't have a problem is at all helpful.
I'm glad to see he is continuing, and if we have been a small part in that by acknowledging he is having difficulty and supporting him to do that, that would be a good outcome for the forum.
Please, be kind!
Hola @hawkeyepierceHello from Ponferrada. I’ve got ten days left on the CF.
Only, I feel like I’m losing motivation? ....
Has anyone else encountered this? How did you keep push forward?
Hi hawkeyepierce ( I love the name, the character is one of the reasons I went into Medicine)Hello from Ponferrada. I’ve got ten days left on the CF.
Only, I feel like I’m losing motivation? When I set out from SJPDP I was truly uncertain as to whether or not I was capable of walking the camino. I’m 70 pounds overweight and lead a sedentary life.
Yet here I am, hundreds of kilometers later. I made it over the Pyrenees, across the Meseta and up to Cruz de Ferro. Now, having proved to myself that I could accomplish all that, I find myself losing motivation.
The camino has gotten physically easier for me along the way and I’ve lost ten pounds so far. That’s great! But somehow besting that challenge has left me almost bored?
Has anyone else encountered this? How did you keep pushing forward?
Some of this comes from other sources I expect. I’m autistic and find some aspects of Spanish culture very trying. Sometimes I just need to be nonverbal for a while. I’m also a slow walker and my camino friends are all much further ahead of me unfortunately.
Ultimately I’m going to keep going, I know that. Tomorrow I’ll wake up and walk to Villafranca del Bierzo, and I’m trying to focus on just one day at a time to avoid getting overwhelmed.
Hello from Ponferrada. I’ve got ten days left on the CF.
Only, I feel like I’m losing motivation? When I set out from SJPDP I was truly uncertain as to whether or not I was capable of walking the camino. I’m 70 pounds overweight and lead a sedentary life.
Yet here I am, hundreds of kilometers later. I made it over the Pyrenees, across the Meseta and up to Cruz de Ferro. Now, having proved to myself that I could accomplish all that, I find myself losing motivation.
The camino has gotten physically easier for me along the way and I’ve lost ten pounds so far. That’s great! But somehow besting that challenge has left me almost bored?
Has anyone else encountered this? How did you keep pushing forward?
Some of this comes from other sources I expect. I’m autistic and find some aspects of Spanish culture very trying. Sometimes I just need to be nonverbal for a while. I’m also a slow walker and my camino friends are all much further ahead of me unfortunately.
Ultimately I’m going to keep going, I know that. Tomorrow I’ll wake up and walk to Villafranca del Bierzo, and I’m trying to focus on just one day at a time to avoid getting overwhelmed.
As I head off on my first Camino in less than 2 weeks, a work colleague who was heading off on holiday, wrote me today: "You're about to head off on a very special and very personal experience. Remember to love the person you are travelling with (yourself!)." For all you've accomplished, and all you have yet to accomplish, give yourself permission to feel whatever you are feeling, and love yourself for a job well done - even were it to end today - it's still a job well done. And when you're reading this, after having walked another day ... Good for you! And every day you choose to walk, is, in fact, a choice. Assuming I make it over the Pyrenees, I may experience some version of the very same thoughts you've been having, and will try my best to accept those feelings, and still, I hope, choose to put one foot in front of the other.Hello from Ponferrada. I’ve got ten days left on the CF.
Only, I feel like I’m losing motivation? When I set out from SJPDP I was truly uncertain as to whether or not I was capable of walking the camino. I’m 70 pounds overweight and lead a sedentary life.
Yet here I am, hundreds of kilometers later. I made it over the Pyrenees, across the Meseta and up to Cruz de Ferro. Now, having proved to myself that I could accomplish all that, I find myself losing motivation.
The camino has gotten physically easier for me along the way and I’ve lost ten pounds so far. That’s great! But somehow besting that challenge has left me almost bored?
Has anyone else encountered this? How did you keep pushing forward?
Some of this comes from other sources I expect. I’m autistic and find some aspects of Spanish culture very trying. Sometimes I just need to be nonverbal for a while. I’m also a slow walker and my camino friends are all much further ahead of me unfortunately.
Ultimately I’m going to keep going, I know that. Tomorrow I’ll wake up and walk to Villafranca del Bierzo, and I’m trying to focus on just one day at a time to avoid getting overwhelmed.
(I would actually stop to stay at Lamas, it's a lovely place.)Leaving Villafranca del Bierzo I recommend the "high" route that goes through Pradela.
And stop at least for lunch at Albergue Lamas in Pradela - I had delicious homemade cake and the best sandwich that I've had on the Camino with veggies from their garden.Villafranca del Bierzo - O Cebreiro | Camino Francés | Gronze.com
Es la Etapa Reina, cuyo recuerdo permanecerá indeleble al paso del tiempo, gracias a la bellísima, apasionante y temida subida a O Cebreiro, el mayor ascenso del Camino Francés en territorio español. La subida transcurre, en buena parte, por corredoiras, con un desnivel de 660 metros a lo largo...www.gronze.com
Hi HawkeyeHello from Ponferrada. I’ve got ten days left on the CF.
Only, I feel like I’m losing motivation? When I set out from SJPDP I was truly uncertain as to whether or not I was capable of walking the camino. I’m 70 pounds overweight and lead a sedentary life.
Yet here I am, hundreds of kilometers later. I made it over the Pyrenees, across the Meseta and up to Cruz de Ferro. Now, having proved to myself that I could accomplish all that, I find myself losing motivation.
The camino has gotten physically easier for me along the way and I’ve lost ten pounds so far. That’s great! But somehow besting that challenge has left me almost bored?
Has anyone else encountered this? How did you keep pushing forward?
Some of this comes from other sources I expect. I’m autistic and find some aspects of Spanish culture very trying. Sometimes I just need to be nonverbal for a while. I’m also a slow walker and my camino friends are all much further ahead of me unfortunately.
Ultimately I’m going to keep going, I know that. Tomorrow I’ll wake up and walk to Villafranca del Bierzo, and I’m trying to focus on just one day at a time to avoid getting overwhelmed.
Well saidHi Hawkeye
Motivation comes and goes.
You have experienced pain and success.
10 days left is a good time to start with a search for god.
Listen to your heart and find out.
As you arrive in Santiago you finally have experienced the physical, mental and spiritual challenge.
Buen Camino , Brother
Almost there! Hope you are enjoying the trails, people, albergues, cafes, vin tinto, etc, etc, etc. Sorry about the toe thoughSmall update: I’m now in Gonzar, four days out from Santiago. Other than some off-and-on toe pain I’m in good spirits.
I apologize for not responding to those who offered their support in this thread individually but I will do so when I get home and have a proper computer.
I've had two neuromas surgically removed. On bad days, it felt like broken glass inside my foot, good days just rocks in my shoe. Try wider shoes first and the fine tuned metatarsal pad placement.I think it’s a neuroma. I have one elsewhere. It flares up when my laces get loose, when I retie them the metatarsal pad on my orthotic is able to keep it in check.
I’ll schedule an appointment with my podiatrist when I get home. Meanwhile it’s manageable.
Thank you, but it's not about me, but to give Ryan, aka @hawkeyepierce, confidence that he is not alone feeling the way he does, that what he is proposing to do has worked for others, and to make sure he knows that there will be support here on the forum should he need that. After all, the worst that could happen if he goes on is that he could become another camino tragic, like so many of us, and we will see him here for years to come helping other pilgrims.
Enjoy the winding valley and river walking after Villafranca Del Bierzo on your way up to O Cebreiro. It's gorgeous.
Yep, been there, done that........
But you're so close.......
And have some amazing parts ahead of you
Ten days left? I never got to ten days from SJPdP before injury...because of my weight. And at that time, I was 50 lb overweight. Now, I am 100 lb overweight...thanks covid...and my still healing injuries.
Take a day or two off to recharge. You're more than half way there. I believe you can do it!!!
Go Hawkeye go! I'm excited for you and slightly jealous I don't have an imminent accomplishment just days ahead. A few days after SdC you'll wish you were back in SJJP again
Keeping going will create a far better story that you will be able to look back on in time. Head down , keep on keeping on.
Ride the wave and know it;s just a trial you need to push through. Many here are pondering whether they could make it on their caminos. Push on and it will help not only you, but others reading this
I'd take every alternative or "Complementary" route offered, for they are the less traveled, as long as you have the snacks and drink on board. There may be a few less cafes on them. They do not stray very far from the posted route, but are short arcs to the side of the main route. At least one of them was an older route I remembered taking a few years back. And you won't be fretting about your compadres up ahead, because you will have taken slightly different paths.
Hawkeye, do it for all us chubbies!Buen camino!
One step at a time.
I lost 20 lbs by the time i was done....
so...motivations -
O'Cebreiro - huuuugew jamon bocadillos at the bar right across the chapel
Arzua - absolutely scrumptiously delicious cheeses
Melide - PULPOI!!!!! (grilled.... with lemon)
Galicia proper - Caldo Galicia soup. Alberquina wine,
Santiago proper - 1000 restaurants (OK maybe I am exaggerating but it sure feels like it ...and they all are hopping)
Jokes aside - I agree with folks that stated its the 'spiritual' side that now gets a grip on you. Dont give up!
PERCEVERE! Its a simple question of putting your mind back where it was in the beginning! I am sure you WILL feel great walking through the arch onto the plaza being piped in by the Scottish pipes - and you will LOVE IT!
ULTREIA indeed
Oh BTW if you want to challenge yourself physically "just a little more" and you are in Vega de Valcarce tomorrow - do climb up to the Saracen Castle. The views are unbelievable
On my first Camino I found that once I realised I would / could finish - around 200 km from Santiago- my brain got bored and wanted a new challenge or something new of interest to do with itself. I believe there is a place past boredom that is much more peaceful and sublime. So soon I'm trying the Via del la Plata - 1000 km. I am very curious to see how my busy brain deals with this and to discover more of what lies beyond boredom.
On the other hand you could also do some sort of audio online learning while walking to keep the boredom at bay.
What? Are you seriously suggesting this? This is certainly not my experience from similar circumstances, and I think I would have found someone denying that my pain and associated mental distress was real would have been extremely unhelpful. I found it both a mental and physical struggle each day for a week or more to keep walking. If @hawkeyepierce finds it difficult enough that he has resorted to reaching out to us here on this forum, I am happy to accept that he does have a problem.
It seems that knowing that he isn't the only one to face similar challenges has helped. Perhaps knowing how others have managed to continue under similar circumstances will help too. And perhaps knowing that what he has proposed to do has worked for others will help even more. What I don't see is how telling him he doesn't have a problem is at all helpful.
I'm glad to see he is continuing, and if we have been a small part in that by acknowledging he is having difficulty and supporting him to do that, that would be a good outcome for the forum.
Please, be kind!
I believe these times of doubt and motivational crisis are when you will discover who you are and define what this journey means to you. I believe if you persevere through this time you will find an opening to spiritual growth and transformation. I feel the best is yet to come for you on this Camino. Ultreia!
Hola @hawkeyepierce
Yes!!
Sometimes I walk for many months at a time. There always comes a day when a grand refusal rises within. I listen to it. For me, it is an indication of physical and mental exhaustion. I stop walking for a few days. I eat lots, read a novel, laze about, do some music practice or something cultural. If i am a guest, I immerse myself in the household where I find myself.
I stop. I wait then set off again.
Sometimes, too, I exhaust myself and others with chattering. To put it plainly, I talk too much. So, every now and then i practice silence. I tell those arround me that I will be non-verbal for a period of time. I listen but do not reply.... I find this calming and helpful.
Buen camino, peregrino!
Hey @hawkeyepierce Thank you for sharing your journey, the ups and downs of it! How are you doing? Can we follow along with you as far as you decide to go! We do understand your need to be silent as well. For me, it’s about the journey, much more than the destination. I admire your self-awareness, honesty and openness.
Are you heading for Las Herrerias tomorrow? Where are you staying there? Hope you have good weather tomorrow. Let us hear from you. We are walking with you!
Hi hawkeyepierce ( I love the name, the character is one of the reasons I went into Medicine)
I recall a half dozen mornings in the last two weeks when we did our camino that I sat up in the morning and my feet would refuse to swing over the side of the bed. They adamantly were not going to touch the floor, and not a chance were they going out to walk again. My wife and I found that except for one day when we both felt 'done', we were able to help each other through those rough mornings to get up and get going. To get through those doldrums we added a rest day in Sarria, we added an extra walking day to make each of the last days a bit shorter, and we put our feet up more in the middle of the day to just feel like we were not forced to walk a set amount. Those things gave us a psychological boost.
Your autism makes the struggle a bit harder, but even though you may feel alone, you are not alone. Everyone else who started almost a month ago is feeling just like you. On the brighter side, very soon you will be joined by the influx of pilgrims at Sarria. Look at the excitement in the faces of those who are just starting, especially the school and college groups. Try to remember how good it felt to be at the beginning of your journey and try to let their youthful excitement rub off on you. The finish line is in sight!
Like many others have said, remember that we out here in the wider camino community are rooting for you. As Captain Pierce once said, "for your condition, you're in great condition!" Hang in there, my friend! Onward and upward.
Terence
One step at a time Hawkeye. Buen Camino!
As I head off on my first Camino in less than 2 weeks, a work colleague who was heading off on holiday, wrote me today: "You're about to head off on a very special and very personal experience. Remember to love the person you are travelling with (yourself!)." For all you've accomplished, and all you have yet to accomplish, give yourself permission to feel whatever you are feeling, and love yourself for a job well done - even were it to end today - it's still a job well done. And when you're reading this, after having walked another day ... Good for you! And every day you choose to walk, is, in fact, a choice. Assuming I make it over the Pyrenees, I may experience some version of the very same thoughts you've been having, and will try my best to accept those feelings, and still, I hope, choose to put one foot in front of the other.
Good morning, @hawkeyepierce !
Your perseverance will pay off, but that bump you hit is definitely something that can happen to everyone.
There may even be people around you in the same boat, just not talking about it.
One thing to do first is to look and see if you need physical rest - are you depleted of energy? If so take rest.
If you have physical energy, but the mind is down - oof. It's not easy. What helps me is to notice the blah feeling, acknowledge it ("Thank you for sharing..."), then put the thoughts to the side and set out to walk where I intend that day ("...but we're going to _________ today."). Kindness and firmness are key.
And then a bit of a challenge can help too - but be judicious with this, knowing your limits.
You know the routine by now and the days run together. A longer day or a slightly harder alternative route can cut through the sameness. From Villafranca there is a high Pradela route that is definitely harder - it is also a lot quieter, which may give you the silence you need right now.
(I would actually stop to stay at Lamas, it's a lovely place.)
And definitely honor the wish for more silence and less sense contact. Walking with a set of prayer beads or a mala can send a 'Please give me space" message that isn't confronting to others (and if you are inclined to use them, even better!)
Buen camino! The good news is that no mood lasts forever, and who knows what today will bring.
hawkeyepierce,
Now as you go on may you feel while walking the secular transcendence akin to to what runners call 'the zone' . Your body can handle the task while your spirit glows with the effort. Neither easy, nor impossible; all simply is. ...Thus, thankfully you continue.
In the truest sense Ultreia!
Thank you!Hi Hawkeye
Motivation comes and goes.
You have experienced pain and success.
10 days left is a good time to start with a search for god.
Listen to your heart and find out.
As you arrive in Santiago you finally have experienced the physical, mental and spiritual challenge.
Buen Camino , Brother
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