Overthinking my Camino Experience!

[WanderingAussie]

Hello fellow pilgrims!

So this may be a tad overly philosophical for my first post, but I can only assume I will follow up with questions about pack weight and albergue recommendations down the track

I will be walking the Camino Frances from SJPDP for the first time in July this year, and I'm very excited!

There is something that has been playing on my mind of late however, and as I've read the amazing posts and comments on the forum I feel like this is the right place to air my grievance and get some feedback:

I am a bit lost for direction and meaning in my life at the moment (one might call it a mid-twenties existential crisis), and I keep unwillingly thinking that walking the Camino will help me figure out where I belong/the type of person I hope to be in the years to come etc. I keep trying to tell myself to take the Camino as it comes with no expectations, that the walk itself will be enough of a journey, but I subconsciously am hoping I'll experience some type of epiphany moment.
What I'm wanting to know is if anyone embarked on their journey with similar thoughts, and how that worked out for you? Or perhaps were these things that popped up for you after you started to walk?
I know I'm overthinking things but I somehow can't stop! Help!

 

[Seabird]

It seems to me you have a pretty good view of things. You know that you're not "supposed" to have expectations, but you also know that you DO have expectations. Just like the rest of us. Who wouldn't think or hope that undertaking a challenge might make us into a better/different person? Or help us figure something out? You WILL have those moments you seek, but you may not recognize it at the time. Does that make it any less than an epiphany? No. Those moments of inner comprehension will remain with you, long after your Camino is over.

So don't worry if you're "overthinking" about this. Let every day unfold, let every moment pass through you, and to quote a great song: Let it be.

Buen Camino.

 

[amorfati1]

it's probably a most anoying comment - tell someone who's hell bent on anxiety and overthinking to 'relax'.
so, here you have it - nonetheless.
since you are already making yourself (seemingly) miserable with this overthinking bit - what is there to 'lose' with 'relaxing'?
probably not much, you'd perhaps fall asleep - but doubtful that worse things would happen.


it's an adventure. to say the least.
the excitement is good - stay with that if you can. and it is a blessed opportunity.
shift the focus on that what flows - the excitement. trying to stop the overthinking might be as successful as catching wild horses on high-heels.
give the mind another toy to play with perhaps: that excitement. that realization of how lucky you are to undertake this journey in your mid-twenties.

a quote i really liked - saw it shared by someone on this forum some years ago:
"Preparing is going through the motions of getting ready for what you think is about to happen.
Ready is actually being able to handle whatever is thrown your way."

and another one, not by a forum member (as far as i know)
"I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown."
Woody A.

and ... there's a grand book by victor frankl 'man in search for meaning'.
here is the audio book:
"

very best wishes - buen camino
c
~~~



Hello fellow pilgrims!

So this may be a tad overly philosophical for my first post, but I can only assume I will follow up with questions about pack weight and albergue recommendations down the track

I will be walking the Camino Frances from SJPDP for the first time in July this year, and I'm very excited!

There is something that has been playing on my mind of late however, and as I've read the amazing posts and comments on the forum I feel like this is the right place to air my grievance and get some feedback:

I am a bit lost for direction and meaning in my life at the moment (one might call it a mid-twenties existential crisis), and I keep unwillingly thinking that walking the Camino will help me figure out where I belong/the type of person I hope to be in the years to come etc. I keep trying to tell myself to take the Camino as it comes with no expectations, that the walk itself will be enough of a journey, but I subconsciously am hoping I'll experience some type of epiphany moment.
What I'm wanting to know is if anyone embarked on their journey with similar thoughts, and how that worked out for you? Or perhaps were these things that popped up for you after you started to walk?
I know I'm overthinking things but I somehow can't stop! Help![/QUOTE]

 

[onwayhome]

Hello wandering Aussie, the Camino is a great place for unexpected encounters- with people, places and ourselves. Who knows what outcome awaits?
Could be that you will be the inspiration for someone else's life decision, or the other way round. I've certainly experienced both, without seeking them out.
Wishing you a great adventure on The Way.

 

[VNwalking]

If you know you're overthinking, that's half the journey.
The rest is not feeding the thoughts when they arise - or resisting the experience of wanting. It's OK. You're human, and we all have hopes and expectations. If you can let them be in the background, that's what gives the camino space to do whatever it will do.

All you have to do is put your body there and walk, not asking anything more from yourself or the camino, and stuff will happen. Even if you didn't want insights, there's no way in the world that you'd be the same person at the end of the journey as at the beginning.

Just be prepared that what you seek may not look like any imagined epiphany. It may look like trouble, or pain, or an unexpected inner or outer challenge. That's the part of the Camino that transforms, changes, and opens us to new ways of being.

 

[mspath]

These three Buddha quotes seem most appropriate.

"No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path."
...
“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, nor to worry about the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.”
...
“Set your heart on doing good. Do it over and over again, and you will be filled with joy.”

During past caminos I have experienced the joy of serendipity and relearned the importance of personal tenacity and endurance. Most importantly I have sensed the necessity for sincerity in all human interactions and have been privileged to experience the overwhelming power of true caritas, that special spirit of unconditional selfless love towards others as offered by some to many along the way....May we all be so caring and generous.

 

[Purky]

Overthinking things, including a camino, is a first world problem. When the mind is generally at ease about pressing matters like food, shelter, safety and money, it tends to turn elsewhere to fret and worry about. There is nothing wrong with that, in fact I think it is unavoidable, but it remains a first world problem.
The fun bit about a camino, or any long trek, is that it forces you back to the fundamentals of living. Where do I sleep, what do I eat, how long do I walk; that is pretty much the scope of your worries while walking. And when you walk in a civilised country (like Spain), those things are not hard to arrange.
You will find that the direction and meaning in your life during your camino will be obvious and relatively easy to achieve. Direction = Santiago, Meaning = enjoy the walk. This mental simplicity, and the physical discipline of walking each day, will let you rediscover and reconnect to the 'simple' pleasures of life. And that will soothe your pre-camino fretting and worrying. It is all about perspective.
The real trick is to keep that perspective going after you've walked the camino. But let's not go there at this point in time. You can worry about that later... Buen Camino!

 

[notion900]

hoping I'll experience some type of epiphany moment

Whatever happens I don't think it will be a 'moment'. One of the key benefits of doing pilgrimage is that it offers substantial time to think. You do need to let yourself have some quiet time pretty much every day for this to happen, even if just during siesta or a stroll around the village, if you don't want to walk alone. You won't even necessarily know you are thinking, but you will be.

 

[WanderingAussie]

Thank you so much everyone for your words of wisdom and beautiful, encouraging responses. I am in awe of the community feel here, I can't wait to experience it first hand on the Camino.

I will feel honoured if I one day can help a future pilgrim the way all of you have helped me!
I definitely feel more able to set my anxieties aside now and just 'Let It Be'.

P.s. I will be sharing all above quotes with people I meet along the journey

Buen Camino!

 

[JenCamino]

Just be prepared that what you seek may not look like any imagined epiphany. It may look like trouble, or pain, or an unexpected inner or outer challenge. That's the part of the Camino that transforms, changes, and opens us to new ways of being.

THIS. I too traveled my Camino in hopes of answering the question of what to do with my life, and when I got back home I felt a little disappointed that I never had that "big moment" in which the truth was revealed. BUT... I took a few more days walking trip in my home country afterwards, kind of to "integrate" my Camino experiences, and I realized: actually, yeah, deep down, I did know my answer. I just need to admit to myself what it was, because it was kind of scary for me to take action on. So, have heart, the answers come, but they might not feel like this big single moment, and they might even occur on the way home!

 

[gregorydedman]

It's the single one thing that I hear over and over from pilgrims is that they we're left disappointed after walking the Camino.
Unfortunately, those people read the books, watch the movies and see the travel articles and the only real way to have zero expectation is to do none of those things
We're a bit of a fickle society nowadays, where expectation and entitlement rule over anything else. We want more for less and feel like we're owed a life changing moment or an experience.
Where does that come from I wonder? Maybe money. We invest the time at work to pay for something and we are so protective of that money that we expect much from that item or experience we've just purchased with it.

What am I getting at?
Expectations are a dangerous game, if we have none, we can only ever been impressed or amazed by something.

The Camino WILL give you what you need, not necessarily what you want or expect. One has to try and approach it with nothing but a willingness to be open to the experience, to swim with the current, smell the flowers and free the mind.
This advice comes from a non-religious pilgrim who was monumentally moved by the energy flowing along that trail and who felt the pain of blisters and the kindness of strangers simply because he was at his lowest ebb and who had firm doubt that the Camino could change his life.

I was proved drastically wrong, it was the single most important period of my life.

You are definitely walking this at the right time, no-one walks that trail by chance, it called you and you surrendered. Keep that openness and you will attract what you desire.
Walk your own pace, retreat inwards, laugh, cry, sing and dance.
Embrace every moment with the eyes of a child and you will not regret it.

My epiphany moment was the morning walking away from Molinaseca, still dark, with the barking dogs in some far off yard. I looked up at the morning sky and two shooting stars crashed through the atmosphere. I knew then, with all the certainty of the universe that I was free from the burdens of my past.
It will come for you too.

 

[trecile]

I remember a post from a woman a while ago who had been walking for a few weeks and was wondering when she could expect her epiphany to happen...

 

[Purky]

I remember a post from a woman a while ago who had been walking for a few weeks and was wondering when she could expect her epiphany to happen...

Thanks Trecile. I'll be offline for a bit now, cleaning a good swig of coffee from my laptop...

 

[MaryLynn]

...I keep unwillingly thinking that walking the Camino will help me figure out where I belong/the type of person I hope to be in the years to come etc.

You don't have to actively figure out anything. Relax and trust. Be open to your Camino experience and what happens and what you see and who you meet along the way. I suggest approaching each new day with "I wonder what the Camino will bring today??" Walking the Camino is a daily adventure and it's mostly out of your control, and that's half the fun.

 

[Priscilla NC]

I too was subconsciously expecting an epiphany -- and it didn't happen then, but it unfolded after I returned to 'normal life'.

And not right away, either. My Camino experience was wonderful, and it really did serve to put the foundation on the unfolding of what I'm all about, and what I need to do to fully live that in my life.

I'm several decades beyond where you are, so the pilgrimage will continue for many years for you, if you are open to it.

Buen Camino!

 

[jgpryde]

I came to the Camino hoping to find something within myself.
Instead, I realize, I am defining something within myself.
Buen Camino,
- jgp

 

[eviemonkey]

An epiphany moment would be nice, if unlikely. As a minimum though, it is reasonable to expect that you will leave Santiago a calmer, more rounded version of yourself, with a lifetime of memories and a circle of friends you care about deeply. That and a sun tan, a love of Spain and its wonderful people is not a bad legacy for four to five weeks of walking.

Life-changing experiences do happen on the Camino. Yet life enhancing experiences are more common and that is fine too. Many of those lessons will only emerge after you return home and reflect on the subtle changes that may emerge in your outlook on life. Maybe an appreciation of what is important to you, a yearning for more meaningful connections with others, or even just to live a more simplier life in general. The Camino might not signpost exactly what it is you want to do in life, but may instead highlight what you don't.

Post-Camino, you may not even want to know any more where you belong, or the type of person you hope to become in years to come. You may prefer to live in the moment, in itself one of the Camino's greatest gifts, and again perfectly acceptable for someone in their mid-twenties. Buen camino. I look forward to your updates.

 

[travelbird]

Thank you so much for posting this, I have been feeling the exact same way!! Reading all the responses is definitely helping to ease my mind about these feelings.

Buen Camino!

 

[Lance Chambers]

I did my first mini-Camino (Sarria to Santiago) in 2015 as a test run and loved it, the Frances in 2016, and this year from Burgos to Santiago and I wish I had have discovered the route when I was your age. My life would have taken a very different course I'm sure.

Why I found it so wonderful is that when walking alone my subconscious mind seemed capable of talking to me directly - something that had never happened before - and I found myself walking through significant parts of my life and thinking about them at a conscious level and evaluating where and why I had failed to meet many of my own expectations over my life, where I had gone wrong in my personal relationships, the damage I had caused to those I loved and still love.

In effect, I sorted through the trash in my values, mind, and emotions and came through it feeling cleansed of a whole lot of garbage in my head and in my heart.

I will return to the Frances again this year too, hopefully, do a lot more housecleaning.

Buen Camino.

 

[kdespot]

The very answer that you hope to receive is not the one that you'll get. That would be too easy. It would mean that you're in charge. You aren't in charge, the Camino is. Walk with a wide open mind and you'll find that what you learn is far more important than what you hoped to learn.

 

[Deleted member 36903]

A friend who is a priest used to take groups of his students walking in the hills in the Lake District here in the UK. He said that it was a time of brain washing, not indoctrination but a cleansing of the mind in the sense that @Lance Chambers talks about in his post.

 

[Ryan Alexander]

Overthinking things, including a camino, is a first world problem. When the mind is generally at ease about pressing matters like food, shelter, safety and money, it tends to turn elsewhere to fret and worry about. There is nothing wrong with that, in fact I think it is unavoidable, but it remains a first world problem.
The fun bit about a camino, or any long trek, is that it forces you back to the fundamentals of living. Where do I sleep, what do I eat, how long do I walk; that is pretty much the scope of your worries while walking. And when you walk in a civilised country (like Spain), those things are not hard to arrange.
You will find that the direction and meaning in your life during your camino will be obvious and relatively easy to achieve. Direction = Santiago, Meaning = enjoy the walk. This mental simplicity, and the physical discipline of walking each day, will let you rediscover and reconnect to the 'simple' pleasures of life. And that will soothe your pre-camino fretting and worrying. It is all about perspective.
The real trick is to keep that perspective going after you've walked the camino. But let's not go there at this point in time. You can worry about that later... Buen Camino!

Like x1000

 

[Lady M]

Hello fellow pilgrims!

So this may be a tad overly philosophical for my first post, but I can only assume I will follow up with questions about pack weight and albergue recommendations down the track

I will be walking the Camino Frances from SJPDP for the first time in July this year, and I'm very excited!

There is something that has been playing on my mind of late however, and as I've read the amazing posts and comments on the forum I feel like this is the right place to air my grievance and get some feedback:

I am a bit lost for direction and meaning in my life at the moment (one might call it a mid-twenties existential crisis), and I keep unwillingly thinking that walking the Camino will help me figure out where I belong/the type of person I hope to be in the years to come etc. I keep trying to tell myself to take the Camino as it comes with no expectations, that the walk itself will be enough of a journey, but I subconsciously am hoping I'll experience some type of epiphany moment.
What I'm wanting to know is if anyone embarked on their journey with similar thoughts, and how that worked out for you? Or perhaps were these things that popped up for you after you started to walk?
I know I'm overthinking things but I somehow can't stop! Help!

Your post has touched my heart. In 1994 I attended a spiritual retreat called The Five Day Academy for Spiritual Formation. Fast forward through 9-10 more Five Days, 3 years of seminary, ordination, leaving the church, attending The Two Year Academy for Spiritual Formation (you can learn more about the Academy at upperroom.org) and I’m going to do my Camino in September. Epiphanies come when we are open to them and we may not recognize them until some time later. You sound like a person with an open heart. Silence is a wonderful place for epiphanies. Relax, empty your mind, listen, and keep putting one step in front of the other. You are not alone.

BTW overthinking your Camino is weighing all your socks and choosing a pair because they weigh 3 grams less